Tine looks around. It’s clear that the sorcerer’s spell didn’t just give everything a medieval aesthetic, but that she and the team are actually in a medieval kingdom, complete with turrets and cobblestone streets and everything. “What the hell did you do? Where are we?”
“We are in the Kingdom of Luminary,” the sorcerer says smugly. “As for what I did, I sensed that I was about to lose, and made it so that you couldn’t stop me.” The hero looks down at her attire. Sure enough, her suit is gone, and her shoes do not produce spikes. “You took away our powers?” Astra asks. “Each of you have roles to play. Unless you complete your quest, you will be trapped here forever—” He cuts off as he crumples to the ground, dead. It’s Sabine’s turn to be smug. “Bet you forgot about that, didn’t you? You thought I was a metahuman of some kind, but I’m all immortal, baby.” “Why did you do that?” Tine says. “What? He was gonna do the same thing to us. He almost did.” “Now we’ll never know how to get out of here,” Phil says. “Oh, right. That sucks. Whoops.” “Anyone have any ideas?” Astra says. “Phil, don’t you have a spell for this?” “For time travel?” he says. “No.” “Yeah, that was always Berto and Tomás’ department,” Tine says. “Who?” “Before you and Darren joined the team, we had two time travelers, Humberto and Tomás. They had to leave because apparently, stopping the centaurs from conquering the public was the wrong thing to do.” “Speaking as a member of that conquered public, I think it was absolutely the right thing to do. And besides, that guy said he took our powers, remember?” Tine looks around. “Wait. Where are Darren and Corinne?” “Oh, do you mean Princess Coriníon?” an educated, but friendly-sounding voice says from behind them. Phil blinks. “Princess? That can’t be right.” The voice reveals himself as a tall, young, aristocratic-looking man. “You must be them.” “Who’s them?” Tine says. “The heroes who will save the princess and her friends.” “And who might you be?” Astra says. “I am Lord Waterton of Sonata.” “Hold on,” Sabine says. “You’re not from here?” “No, I’m from the next kingdom over.” “So you know how to get out of here. You can help us.” “I will help you, but the getting out of here part, that’s up to you.” “How are we supposed to do that?” Phil says. “You don’t know? You can’t get out until you complete your quest by saving the princess.” “You mentioned the princess had friends,” Tine says. “Yes, some guy named Dairy or something, and a girl named April.” “Do you know where they are?” “Come with me.” “We’ve been walking forever,” Astra says. “Do you know where they are or not, Mr. Lord of Sonata or whatever?” Lord Waterton smiles. “You can call me Christian, and yes, I do. But you cannot just walk up to the tower and save the princess.” “And her friends. But why not?” “You have to prove yourself worthy of facing the Hag.” Tine scoffs. “The Hag? That’s a terrible villain name.” “Oh, the Hag certainly is terrible.” Tine shakes her head. “And how are we supposed to do that?” Phil says. “Prove ourselves?” “There will be a series of trials, each of them more severe than the last, until you finally reach the Hag.” “You must be joking,” Astra says. “I’m afraid I’m deadly serious. Each of you have been given roles, yes?” “Yes,” Sabine says, “but we don’t know what they are.” “Oh, goodness. We’re doomed.” The team shares looks of terror. “This is the first trial,” Christian says as they approach a small village. He points to the town square, where a small golden oblong shape sits on a tree stump. “You must retrieve the Golden Orb.” “Oh, easy peasy,” Tine says. She tries to retrieve it, but gets swarmed by the village’s inhabitants. She comes back to the group. “You didn’t tell me they would be actively trying to stop us!” “You didn’t think it would be that easy, did you?” “I kinda did.” Sabine pushes her aside. “I got this.” She effortlessly uses her super-speed to plow through the villagers and retrieve the Orb. “Turns out it was that easy.” Christian and the rest of the team look on, horrified. “You weren’t supposed to kill them,” the lord says. “They were in my way. You should have been more specific.” “Oh, it is regretful, but it will give you some points with the Hag.” “See?” the vampire says to Tine. “It all worked out.” “Seriously,” Phil says, “can we get a carriage or something?” Christian is confused. “I’m not sure what you mean by this term, ‘carriage.’” “You know.” He mimes sitting. “Carriage.” “Do you have to relieve yourself? There’s a perfectly good bush right there.” “Maybe some horses?” Tine says. “Ah. No, the horses died off years ago. We have to walk, I’m afraid.” “So, where’s the second trial?” Astra asks. “That,” Christian says, pointing to Sabine, “is for our navigator to find out.” Sabine points at herself. “Me?” “Yes, you. You found the orb, which means you have been given the role of navigator.” “No, I’m terrible at navigation. I never really adapted to GPS systems.” “What about regular maps?” Phil says. “I’m not so great at those, either. Honestly, it’s a wonder I survived this long.” “You must try,” Christian says. “I don’t know where the trial is. You are the only one who can locate it.” “What am I looking for?” “A river. Close your eyes and picture it.” “Okay, here goes.” After a second, she points. “This way.” “Still this way?” Phil says. “Are you sure?” “Yes and no,” Sabine responds. “Come again?” “Yes, this way. No, I’m not sure.” “Right. If you get us killed out here, I will haunt you.” After a moment, Phil says, “This is nice.” Tine looks at him like he’s grown a second head. “Nice?!” “Yeah. Us hanging out. We never get to do that. There’s always a mission in the way.” “In case you haven’t noticed,” Astra says, “there is a mission in the way.” “But still. We should hang out more often.” “I agree,” Tine says. “Don’t tell anyone, but I kind of like you guys.” They continue walking until they get to a cliff overlooking a river. “Hah. You doubted me.” “Well done,” Christian says. “Now what?” Astra asks. “Cross it.” “But there’s no bridge.” “Make one.” “Why can’t you make one?” “I can only grant you the knowledge you need. The mage must make the bridge.” “I gotta say,” Tine says, “that’s awfully convenient.” “Wait,” Phil says. “You said mage? As in magic?” “That is correct,” Christian confirms. “Looks like we’re in luck, team. Since my powers aren’t metahuman in nature like you two” — he indicates Tine and Astra — “I think this should be another easy one. Cruce.” Nothing happens. “Or not.” “I think you had it flipped. Maybe since you’re still human,” Tine says, “the spell still affected you. Which means, it’s up to us,” she says to Astra. “Don’t we need wands?” Astra says. “You are the wand,” Phil says. “Be the wand.” She nods. “Be the wand.” “Let’s do it at the same time,” Tine says. “1,2,3. Cruce.” Nothing happens for her. Astra, however, manages to conjure up a single log of wood. “Put more energy into it,” Christian urges. “Be the wand,” Phil repeats. “Feel the magic. Let it flow through you.” A series of loud snapping sounds fills the air from below them. “Christian?” Astra says. “What was that?” The lord looks down. “River monsters,” he says nonchalantly. Astra’s eyes widen. “You can do this, Astra,” Tine says. “I can do this.” She tries the spell a couple more times, and manages to conjure the bridge. “No handrails?” Phil asks. “Don’t push it.” “I do not understand this term, ‘handrails,’” Christian says. “Where are we going this time, Mr. Lord of Elantra?” Phil says. “It’s Sonata,” Christian says, “and you’re looking for a stage.” “A stage?” Sabine says. “There could be a million of those.” “And quite possibly might be.” “We’re never gonna find them,” Astra says. “We’ll find them,” Tine says. “We have to.” “I hadn’t talked to April for a week.” “At least you were talking to her. Darren and I haven’t talked in months. Not meaningfully, anyway. He doesn’t even know—” “Trust me,” Phil says. “He knows.” “Well, he will, once we rescue him from the Hag. I hope he’s okay.” “He’s not,” Christian says. “She’s probably torturing them as we speak.” “See, how do you know that,” Astra says, “but you don’t know where the stage is?” “I—” “I think I know,” Tine says. “Dilbert told me about this once. He said that magic comes from nature, and when wizards make a spell that messes with the flow of nature, nature fights back.” “So when the wizard brought us here,” Phil says, catching on, “nature gave us this lovely NPC dude.” “Hey, guys,” Sabine says, pointing in front of them. “Stage.” “What are we supposed to do, tell a joke?” “That’s exactly what you’re supposed to do,” Christian says. “Get up there, dude,” Astra urges. “Do you want me to try?” Tine says. “No,” Phil says. “Just like I told Astra to feel the magic, I feel like I have to be the one to do this.” “This doesn’t seem so bad,” Sabine says as Phil gets on the stage. “No mic. Guess I gotta project the old-fashioned way. Alright, Starfield, how are we doing tonight?” The crowd boos. “If you can believe it, I don’t have anything prepared. Oh, here’s something. What did the Catholic get when he was parked in a red zone?” Crickets. “Missal tow.” The crowd throws tomatoes at him. “Geez, tough crowd. Okay, here’s another one. Where do owls submit petitions? The parliament. Get it? Because a group of owls is called a parliament.” More tomatoes. Someone throws a brick. “What’s the most emotional milestone? A wedding. Even the cakes are in tiers.” The crowd starts throwing swords at him, and he begins to panic, until a cloud of smoke engulfs the stage, and he winds up back with the rest of the team as the smoke transforms into a young boy. “What the hell was that for?” Phil says. “I almost died.” “Every traveling party needs a jester,” Christian answers. “I would have, too, if not for this guy. Thank you, by the way.” “Oh, it’s my pleasure,” the boy says. “Comedy is a dying art form. No sense in you dying along with it.” “What should I call you?” “Hevel.” Phil shakes his hand. “I’m Phil.” “That is a banger superhero name,” Tine says. “Oh, right. Superheroes haven’t been invented here yet.” “What do you mean?” Hevel says. “We’re not from around here, you see. Actually, maybe you could help us. We’re looking for the Hag.” “Her tower’s right there,” he says, pointing. “Though I can’t imagine why you’d be looking for her. She’s not exactly the friendly type.” “We’re friends of the princess,” Astra explains. “Wait,” Sabine says. “How do you know where the Hag is? What’s your role in this?” “I don’t think he has one,” Tine says. “You think this is nature fighting back again,” Phil says. “But how do we get up there?” “I can—” “I can magic us up there,” Astra says. “Because I have magic.” “Don’t get used to it, now.” Astra is poked with a stick in the back. “I hear you want to see the Hag,” a guard drones emotionlessly. “Yes, we do,” Astra says. “Is that going to be a problem?” Tine says. “We will take you,” a second guard says, still in the same monotone. “Ow. We’ll come willingly,” Sabine says. “Stop poking us.” “Excellent.” “Hey, Christian,” Tine says, “everyone else has a role. What’s my role?” “Silence.” The guards escort the team to the tower, where Corinne, Darren, and April are being held captive. Astra runs toward April, but is telekinetically pulled back. “Ah-ah-ah,” a young woman with long, flowing blonde hair says. “These people wished to have an audience with you, Ms. Hag.” “Wait,” Sabine says, “you’re the Hag?” “You can’t be the Hag,” Astra says. “You’re—” “You’re hot,” Tine says. “Yeah. What?” “What?” “What do you want?” “To give you a choice.” “I’m sorry?” “I will release your precious princess and her friends to you.” “Well, great,” Phil says. “But I want you in their place.” “Don’t do it, Tine,” Astra says. “I have to,” the heroine says. “We’ll find another way. We always do.” “There is no other way. I accept your terms.” “Good choice,” Ms. Hag says. She uses her telekinesis to free Corinne, Darren, and April from her restraints. Astra engulfs April in a hug. “I guess that answers that question,” April says. Astra is confused. “What question?” “I was worried that you were avoiding me after I started hanging out with Taylor. I thought … I thought you didn’t like me anymore.” “That could never happen.” “I was starting to lose hope.” “I always finish the mission.” “Would you maybe want to—” She cuts off when Astra kisses her. “Does that answer your question?” April kisses her back. “When we get back to the real world, I’m gonna tell Taylor that my training comes first. You come first.” “That’s what she said,” Phil quips. Astra lightly punches him. “Dude. We were having a moment.” “Tine, you don’t have to do this,” Darren says. “Yes, I do,” Tine says. “Guys, we have to stall her. Think of something.” “What are you going to do to her?” Astra says. Ms. Hag smirks. “Well, I’m going to burn her from the inside out, of course.” “Why do they call you the Hag?” Phil asks. “It’s my last name,” Ms. Hag explains. “Lonore Hag. When I started growing in my magic, the citizens of Luminary added the ‘the.’ It suited my reputation, so I didn’t correct them. Over time, I grew powerful enough to capture your lovely princess here. But, a deal is a deal.” She starts to use her magic to torture Tine. “Astra,” Sabine says, “do something.” “What?” she says. “I don’t know. Magic something.” “Cruc—” she starts to say, before Ms. Hag uses another hand to direct a spell at her, and she has to duck. “Let her go,” Darren says. “It’s okay, Darren,” Tine says. “I finally figured out my role. I’m the hero.” Ms. Hag resumes torturing her. As she screams, their surroundings revert back to the familiar suburban aesthetic of Wesaeec High School. Phil mimes pressing the Staples button. “Well, that was easy.” “Wait,” Astra says, noticing the abundance of snowflake decorations and students dressed in formal wear. “Is it the winter formal already?” “There you guys are. I thought you had forgotten about me.” Phil turns around to see Matthew, who gives him a dap into a bro-hug. “What do you mean?” Astra asks as Matthew moves on to her. “We couldn’t have been gone for more than four days.” “A week at most,” Tine says. “It’s been four months,” Matthew reveals. April reacts first. “What?! You’re telling me I missed the homecoming game?” “We won. It was a real nail-biter, though.” “And early decision?” Darren says. “I got into Brown.” “Good for you,” Phil says. “Well,” Corinne says, “at least we didn’t miss the winter formal.” April seems to have just realized this. “Oh my gosh, what am I going to wear?” “Too bad you don’t have your princess dress still,” Astra says to Corinne. “I think I can do something about that,” Phil says. “Vista!” He looks at the team’s new formal wear. “Man, it feels good to have my magic back.” “I kept it warm for you.” Darren smirks. “That’s what she—” “Shut it, Darren. April Bradbury, will you go to the winter formal with me?” April nods. “Yes, of course I will.” Tine looks down at her hands. “Darren, I have a question for you—” “Is it ‘Will you go to the winter formal with me?’” “How did you—” “Yes. See, doesn’t it feel good to let people in?” Phil looks at Corinne. “So, what do you say, princess?” “Nope,” she dismisses him swiftly. “That’s not happening.” “Sabine?” “I like you, dude, but not that much,” Sabine says. “I still can’t believe it’s been four months,” Tine says at the winter formal. “It does fit with my theory,” Phil says. Darren spins Tine around. “Well, do share with the class.” “I think that the sorcerer didn’t send us back in time. He sent us to another dimension.” “Another what now?” April says. “It would explain why nature fought back, because we weren’t supposed to be there. And it would also explain the time difference.” “Dilbert did mention to me once that time moves differently in different dimensions,” Tine says. “I thought he was just making an excuse for being late.” She almost slips over a square of broken tile. “Ow.” “Gotta be careful. I don’t think they’ve changed the floors here since Clinton was in the White House.” Astra dances up to them. “Isn’t it nice to just dance for once, and not have any villains around?” Almost as if on cue, a woman who looks suspiciously like Lonore Hag takes the stage and says, “I’m looking for Tine Multmoff.” Matthew shakes his head. “You had to jinx it.” “I’m sorry, okay?” Astra says. “That’s, like, the #1 rule of superheroing,” Matthew says. “I thought the #1 rule of superheroing was ‘Don’t reveal your secret identity.’” “I thought it was ‘Don’t get killed,’” Corinne says. “That’s just a rule for life,” Phil says. “There’s no one here by that name,” Darren says. “Wrong answer,” Ms. Hag’s doppelganger says. “Until Tine Multmoff reveals herself, I will start killing people.” Tine starts to go up to her, but Astra stops her. “Wait. Don’t give her the satisfaction. She’s a terrorist. But damn if that red dress doesn’t suit her.” “Red dress or not,” Tine says, “we can’t just stand by. That is the #1 rule of being a superhero. Time to get this tux ruined.” “You know,” Darren says, “I think Phil made yours better than mine.” “Yeah, Phil did that.” She walks up to the woman. “Hey, Hag. You asked for me?” Tine charges her, but comes back to the team looking like she fought a raccoon and lost. “She’s a speedster now? That is not fair.” “The name is Sonia Belgrade.” The woman who looks like Lonore Hag grabs a student by the back. To the team’s horror, her canine teeth extend into fangs and she sinks them into the student’s neck. “And that’s for calling me a hag.” “I think I liked her better when she was a witch,” Darren quips. “Phil,” Tine says, “we have a code violet.” “Which one is that again?” Phil says. “Still the new guy, remember?” “Protection spell.” “Right. Protege!” “What does that do?” April asks. “It makes it so she can’t compel us,” Tine explains. She taps her comm set, which looks like an innocuous earbud. “Hey, Firewall? Can we get Moonlight up in here?” “Copy that, Valiant,” comes the response. Sabine speeds in. “This had better be important. I’ve had enough high school dances for several lifetimes.” “Turns out the Hag is back,” Darren says, “and she’s a vampire now.” “This should be good.” Sabine uses her super-speed to run towards Belgrade, but is almost immediately tossed back at the team, unconscious. To make matters worse, Belgrade starts to compel the rest of the students, who charge the team. “We have to get out of here,” Corinne says. “Yeah, I’m with him,” April says. “Phil?” Astra says. “Copy that,” the wizard says. “But what about Sabine?” “We’ll come back for her.” Phil is reluctant, but he says, “Okay. Teletranspuerto!,” and teleports the team to the Armory. “Let me get this straight,” Darren says at the Armory. “You want to go back there.” “I don’t know about the rest of you,” April says, “but I have a whole school year to finish.” “Can’t we just take the L on this one? You know, if your school is destroyed, they legally can’t force you to finish the school year.” “I don’t think that’s true,” Matthew says. Tine is already in her suit. “We’re going back. We owe it to Sabine, the school, and ourselves. But first, we need a plan. Matthew?” “Working on it,” Matthew says. “Okay, first, Phil will teleport us—” “No can do,” Phil says. “It took all of my strength to get all seven of us here. No more teleporting for me.” “Looks like we’re taking the Vaniant.” “Still not calling it that,” Valiant says. “So once we get there,” Astra says, “we take a page out of Sal Toretto’s playbook and get in the cafeteria through the tunnels so they don’t see us coming.” “Tunnels again?” Twist says. “Does it have to be tunnels?” “Do you have any other suggestions, Twist-tie?” Valiant says. “No, and I still hate that nickname.” “Well, then tunnels it is.” “Once we’re inside,” Phil says, “the rest of you will distract them so Sherman, Twist, and I can fight Belgrade. She doesn’t know about our powers.” “One thing,” Astra says. “I’ve been thinking about it for a while, and I’m not gonna go by Sherman anymore.” “What should we call you?” “Synthesist.” “As in photosynthesis?” Darren says. “As in the art movement focused around replicating the natural appearances of objects.” “Right,” Darren deadpans. “That makes more sense.” “Are we ready?” Valiant says. Twist tosses a wooden stake in her hand. “Ready.” “Why do you even have that?” Matthew asks. “I got it before we met Sabine.” “We leave in five,” Valiant says. “‘As in photosynthesis,’” Astra mutters. “I’ll photosynthesize your ass.” Twist frowns. “Is it possible these tunnels are worse?” “Let’s get a move on, Twist-tie,” Valiant urges. “I have a right to complain, Valley Forge. See? It doesn’t feel good, does it?” Phil is the first of the team to emerge from the tunnels in the cafeteria, and immediately sees Sabine with a stake somewhere that a stake is not supposed to be. “What do I do? Do I take it out?” “Yes, you take it out,” Sabine says. Phil removes the stake from her chest. “Thank God they missed.” “You’re telling me. You can compel violence, but you can’t compel good aim.” “Can you walk?” She stands up, wincing. “I think so.” “Can you run?” “That’s gonna be a no.” “That’s what I was afraid of.” He activates his comm set. “Okay, new plan. I’m gonna evacuate Moonlight. Synthesist, Twist, best of luck.” “Copy that,” Twist says. “It’s only the fate of the entire school that rests on us.” Belgrade sees Phil and Sabine leaving. “Why won’t these people die?” she bellows. “Kill them!” This momentary distraction allows Twist and Synthetist to charge Belgrade, with the former shifting into a squirrel and the latter drawing a large knife and using it to make a gash across her cheek. Belgrade is shocked. “No one’s managed to do that in years. You’re gonna pay for that.” “Hey,” Synthetist says, “at least it matches your dress. It’s a shame, too. If you weren’t evil, I could really see that style coming back.” “You really think so?” “Oh, definitely.” “Well, when I become your ruler, I can make it happen.” Twist shifts into a shield, and Synthetist ducks behind it. Twist shifts back into human form. “That’s what you want? To rule us?” “Of course. What use is immortality if you can’t subjugate the humans?” “I don’t know,” Synthesist says, “you could sit back and admire all of humanity’s advancements.” “But that’s no fun.” Belgrade catches Twist mid-shift. She reverts back to human form as she hits the ground, but not before tossing her stake to Synthesist. Belgrade notices this, however, and sends her to the ground too with a powerful kick. Synthesist, in a Hail Mary throw, tosses the stake across the room to Valiant. “Is that the best you’ve got?” Belgrade taunts. “How’s she gonna defeat me? She’s all the way over there. Minions, save her the trouble.” Several compelled students storm Valiant, but she uses one of her spikes to break a hole in the broken tile and flee to the tunnels. “Where the hell did she go? What is she doing?” “It just sucks,” Darren says as he knocks out yet another student. “These are good people. Mostly.” “Agreed,” Matthew says. “Brad’s ego could take” — he punches him twice — “a hit or two, though.” “Why are you making this so hard, Matthew?” a familiar voice says. “Oh, I’m so sorry about this, Daniel.” Matthew hits Daniel square in the face, and he goes down. “Who was that?” April asks. “Daniel. He’s Humberto’s ex.” “And who is Humberto?” “He used to be on the team. He’s a time traveler.” “So you’re telling me I could go back in time and not miss the first half of my senior year?” “He left very suddenly. I don’t think he’s coming back.” “Oh. Damn.” Synthesist gets up and catches Belgrade off guard, tripping her. “How are you people still alive?” “You may be immortal,” Twist says, “but we’ll always be here.” “Why can’t I compel you?” “We know a wizard.” “Great. He can watch you die.” “You can kill us, but wherever you go,” Synthesist says, “there will always be people fighting for what’s right. There will always be—” Belgrade looks down at the stake that has just been stabbed through her heart from the back. It’s Valiant, fresh from the tunnels. “Heroes.” “That was crazy,” April remarks at the Red Tiger. “My arms are sore.” “Same,” Darren says. “Who knew being a superhero would be such a workout?” “I did,” Corinne says. “That’s why I canceled my gym membership.” “I sure would like to have that superhero healing factor, though.” Sabine’s chest is bandaged. “Trust me, it’s not all it’s cracked up to be.” “You’ll be fine in a week,” Tine says. “Yeah, that’s a week I have to depend on you people.” “Which is hell for you.” “As close as I’m gonna get.” Phil takes a sip of his milkshake. “You were right, Matthew. Nothing beats these milkshakes.” “I told you,” Matthew says. “I know. I won’t doubt you again.” “Hey, Tine,” Astra says, “how did you know what I was gonna say with Belgrade?” “I didn’t,” the redhead reveals. “I was completely winging it.” “Well, you cooked,” Corinne says. “Thank you.” “Speaking of cooking,” Phil says. “Oh, no.” “I’m gonna have a party next Saturday, and you all are invited. I’m gonna cook my famous fettuccine alfredo.” “How famous can it be if we haven’t heard of it before?” Matthew points out. “Who else is invited?” Corinne says. “Or are we your only friends?” “I’ll come,” April says. “Darren, don’t you dare.” “Me too,” Astra says. “Count me in,” Tine says. “I can never say no to alfredo,” Matthew says. “Sabine?” Phil says. “Ugh, fine,” the vampire says. “Awesome.” “You never answered me about having other friends,” Corinne says. “Guys,” Matthew says. “What?” Tine says. “There’s a situation at the Corner Market.” “Is it their cheap al— alka seltzer?” Sabine says. “Nice save,” Darren says. “You know what to do,” Tine says. “Hey, watch our milkshakes for us.” “Will do,” Sabine says. Darren gets up to leave. “Hey, I know you have an awesome metabolism, but don’t finish them all.” She points at him. “That’s what she said.” “That was terrible.”
0 Comments
“Let me just squeeze by real quick, Waldorf.”
This is a typical day in the life of Tobias Waldorf, a plus-size employee of Happy Kids LLC, an amusement park company struggling to keep up with the likes of Disney and Universal. After letting his coworker by, Tobias maneuvers through the entirely-too-small hallways of the Happy Kids corporate headquarters in Philadelphia until he sits down in his not-wide-enough chair. “Are you sure about this?” Tobias overhears someone saying in the main conference room. “You want profits?” another voice says. “This is how we get profits.” “But isn’t this illegal?” the first voice persists. “Not to mention unethical. Think of the children.” “It’s a gray area. And they won’t be around the children. Trust me. This is the future of amusement.” Tobias sits up abruptly, causing his chair to fall to the ground. “Do you need something?” his boss, the second voice, says. “No,” Tobias says. “I was just going to take my break.” Curiosity gets the better of him. “Actually, yes. I wanted to hear about your proposal. I know I’m just a lowly employee—” “I’m afraid I can’t do that.” “Why not?” His boss touches his arm. “It’s a secret. You understand.” Tobias swears he can see a cloudlike mass in the conference room. “I really don’t.” “Run along now.” Tobias does, but his boss catches him looking at the room. “Get him!” The cloudlike mass, which is definitely a demon of some kind, emerges from the boss’s ring and chases Tobias through the hallways until he gets to a vent. The demon backs him into a corner, and, seeing no other option, he puts up a hand to the vent and … shrinks into it. Tobias appears inside the vent, and looks at his newly small self — three inches tall, to be specific. “What do you mean you can’t find him?” he overhears his boss saying. Silence follows as he tries desperately to hold his breath. “He couldn’t have gone far.” More silence. “Find him!” Tobias runs through the vent until he hears the familiar sound of the bustling Philadelphia streets. He suddenly appears in the Happy Kids lobby, restored to his normal self. “Nothing to see here, folks,” he says. “Just a normal man traveling through the vents. Faster than taking the stairs, am I right?” He laughs awkwardly. “Okay, gotta run.” He leaves just before his boss and the demon get down to the lobby. “Are you ready for the new school year?” Corinne asks Phil as they walk to school. “No, but I’m ready for spring,” Phil replies. “To spring into action, that is.” He takes a defensive stance, which Corinne mimics. “What the hell are those two up to?” Astra says. “It’s a show, Wizards in Spring,” Matthew explains. “Phil’s obsessed.” Phil disagrees. “Am not.” “Really. What’s the title of season 3, episode 23?” “‘Raised by Werewolves,’” Phil says reluctantly. “See? What did I tell you?” “I know I’m ready to rule the school this year,” Tine says. “Me too,” April says. “Seniors uni—” She cuts off as she sees a tall black-haired girl wearing a black tank top, a skirt, and black ankle boots walking in their general direction. “Who is that?” Astra follows her gaze. “Taylor Ruiz. She just transferred here from California, and already joined the environmental club, the Spanish club, and student council. Everyone likes her.” “Well, clearly everyone has good taste.” “... want to come?” April looks up at Taylor. “Are— are you asking me out?” Taylor laughs. “No. I’m going to the anime club meeting after school today. Why? You interested?” April flushes. “I— I’m April.” “Taylor. So will I see you there?” “You bet.” Taylor leaves. “What was that? You bet?” Astra knows exactly what that was. “You can’t go to the anime club.” “Why not?” “You have training today.” “Right. I forgot.” “What training?” Darren asks. “You don’t know?” Astra says. “April is going to join the team. For real this time. After she finishes her training.” “Good for you.” “Thanks,” April says. “Helping Moira made me realize that I was missing something in my life. But Astra is not going easy on me, that’s for sure.” “Nor should she,” Tine says. “If you want me to train you, the offer still stands.” “No, I think you’d actually be worse. I don’t want to be stabbed, thank you very much.” “Suit yourself. It’ll happen eventually.” Upon seeing her teammates’ looks, she adds, “Because someone else will. Not me. Obviously.” “Wait,” Astra says. “You don’t even like anime.” “I could like anime,” April says. “You don’t know.” “Hey,” Phil says that afternoon, “how come I didn’t get any training?” “You have magic,” Corinne replies. “If anything happens, you can just teleport away.” “Fair. But I can only teleport to places I can see. Speaking of seeing, are you ready to see the season premiere of Wizards in Spring?” “Oh, I’m ready. Ready to spring into action.” The two adopt the same defensive stance. “You two are insufferable,” Sabine says. “Enjoy your nerd fest.” “Where were you this morning?” “Do you know how many first days of school I’ve had? It’s literally the most inconsequential day of the entire year.” She speeds off. “You know,” Corinne says, “I just realized you look like Abraham from Wizards.” “I do?” Phil says. “Yeah, if you squint.” “And I guess you have Valerie’s hair. And eyes. Huh. Maybe that’s why we like the show so much.” “Abraham!” a voice says from behind them. They try to ignore it, but the voice says it again. “Listen, I’m not Abraham—” “I just want an autograph,” a man says. “Can you do that for me?” “No, I’m sorry, but I don’t think you’re listening—” “No, you’re not listening. It’ll only take 30 seconds.” The man starts chasing Phil and Corinne. “Teletranspuerto!” Phil teleports them into a nearby alleyway — except the man somehow finds them there. “That’s right. I know about your tricks, Morris.” “Okay, now we run.” Tobias runs into an empty alleyway, but he finds that his boss and the demon are still following him. He hails a cab. “Airport, please.” At the airport, he goes to the check-in desk and says, “One economy ticket to Hartford, please.” As the demon catches up to him, he gets small to get through security and gets on the plane. He gets off the plane in Hartford and goes to his sister’s house. “Tobias,” she says, “what—” “No time to explain.” He gets small and enters the house. “I’m worried about her,” Astra says the next day. “Who, Corinne?” Darren responds. “Yeah, Phil’s going to turn her into a full-on nerd if she’s not careful.” “No, April. She’s missed training the last three days.” “I think the blame is on you for scheduling training three days in a row,” Matthew says. “No one wants that.” “It’s hard to schedule around her drama rehearsals. But she used to actually show up, before her.” She looks over at April and Taylor, having a grand old time. “Look at them, laughing it up.” “She seems happy.” “Yeah, too happy. It took me a year to break down her walls, and she just torpedoed them instantly. She’s up to something, I’m sure of it.” “Or maybe,” Darren says, “you just want her to be up to something.” “No, she is. What does Tine say, superhero instincts? My superhero instincts are telling me she’s no good. But they’ve been inseparable all day. I can’t break them apart.” “You could train her later.” “No, I can’t. What if Taylor’s an agent of Vice Principal Martin, here to get revenge on us?” “She would have confronted us already,” Matthew notes. “You don’t know that.” “Yes, I do. Superhero instincts.” “We can’t run forever,” Corinne says as they run into a local park. “On the contrary,” Phil argues, “we can. We have the stamina of young people, and we’re superheroes. He can’t run forever.” “Unless he uses—” The redhead cuts off as the man appears in front of them suddenly, as if by — “Magic.” “What do you want?” “You, Morris,” the man says. “I still can’t give you an autograph.” “You ruined our operation.” “You were the one committing a crime—” “You will pay for what you did.” “Or, and hear me out on this, we will run away again. I don’t—” Before he can finish his sentence, Phil and Corinne are frozen in place. “We’ll be right back for the show. Don’t go away.” The man leaves. Tobias’ sister doesn’t believe him. “A demon? Really.” “How else do you explain how I can do that?” Tobias snaps back. “A bad trip?” “I don’t think there’s any drug that can make you shrink.” “No, I meant me.” “Ha. Very funny. Can I stay here for a few days? Or longer?” “Of course. I gotchu.” Tobias relaxes. “But I am calling the police.” “Oh, come on.” “I’m worried about you, Tobias.” She takes out her phone and dials 911. “Yes, this is Ilina Waldorf. My brother Tobias says he’s being chased by a demon—” “And he’d be right,” Tobias’ boss says, appearing alongside the demon. “I’m telling you, something’s going on,” Astra says. “You like April,” Matthew replies. “That’s what’s going on.” “I don’t know if I’m ready to put myself out there again after Melanie.” “But you do like her, right?” Darren says. “Duh.” “I knew it,” Matthew says triumphantly. “But what if she doesn’t like me? Or worse, what if she likes her?” “She’s blonde,” Darren says. “She just got distracted by the latest shiny thing.” Astra gives him a look. “But she likes you. Trust me. If she didn’t, she wouldn’t have agreed to give up all her time to let you train her.” “Just talk to her already,” a familiar voice says. Startled, Darren turns to see Sabine walking by them. “Jesus. Where the hell did you come from?” Annoyed, the vampire stops. “If you must know, I am originally from A—” Tine rushes to them. “Everyone, stop what you’re doing. There’s demonic activity in Hartford.” “But we were just gonna hear about Sabine’s backstory,” Matthew whines. “You all can have your social time later.” “Fine.” “Let’s go, Moonlight,” Tine says, and Sabine speeds them off. “Brad,” Tobias says, “let’s talk about this.” “Oh, we’re way past talking,” Brad and the demon say at the same time. Tobias gets small to evade the demon. “I didn’t hear anything, I swear.” “Tell me why I don’t believe you,” Brad says. “I’ll do whatever you want. Just don’t hurt my sister.” “I won’t. Actually, I have a better idea.” He releases a second demon from his ring, which possesses Ilina. “She’s gonna do my job for me.” “Ilina,” Tobias says, “this isn’t you.” “You shouldn’t have run,” Ilina-as-the-demon snarls. Sabine speeds the team into the house. “What’s the sitch?” Sherman asks. “Two demons, one in that guy,” Tobias says, “and the other in my sister.” Sabine/Moonlight is about to sink her fangs into Ilina when Valiant stops her. “Careful. We don’t want to hurt the host.” “Well, then what do you suggest I do?” she says irritatedly. “I read,” Matthew says, “that if you knock the host unconscious, the demon will get bored and leave.” “Don’t hit her too— hard,” Tobias says. It works. The demon returns to Brad’s ring. “Fine,” Brad says. “I guess I’ll have to take you out myself.” “You’ll have to find me first.” Tobias shrinks. “I can’t believe you got the one power I don’t have. Very annoying. I wish I had a tweezer or something.” “We still have him to worry about,” Darren says. “Ant-Man him,” Matthew says over comms. Sherman is confused. “Come again, Firewall?” “Not you, Sherman. The guy.” “Tobias?” Darren says. “Yes.” “Hold on. You want him to do what?” “Not to Brad. To the demon.” “Oh, okay. That’s better.” “Tobias,” Valiant says, “we need you to get inside the demons.” Tobias’ response is the only appropriate one. “What?!” “You’re gonna shrink to get inside them,” Darren explains, “and then go big and explode them. It’ll work, trust us.” “And it won’t destroy your sister’s house,” Sherman says. “Probably.” “Care to finish things off, Tobias, or are you not done with your conference?” Brad-as-the-demon taunts. “You’re gonna wish you didn’t say that,” Tobias says, and immediately attacks Brad, which prompts the demons to come out of his ring. He shrinks, gets inside them, and explodes each of them in turn. “Well, that worked. Thanks, Team Valiant.” “Anytime—” Valiant is cut off when she and the team are suddenly transported away from the house. The team arrives at the park where Corinne and Phil are frozen. “Ah, welcome,” their captor says, “you’re just in time for the show.” Valiant sees Moonlight about to speed off. “Hey, where are you going?” “You’ll see,” comes the response. She rams into the ice at full speed to free Corinne and Phil in turn. The man is annoyed. “You ruined my show.” “And I’ll ruin you. No one freezes my friends and lives to tell the tale.” As she is about to bite him, he casts one last spell that causes everything around them to revert to a medieval aesthetic. “God damn it, why can’t I bite one person today?” “What did he do?” Valiant asks. Previously on:
“We have an alert coming from the Northern Field,” Matthew says. “Someone reported an illegal use of technology in a school setting.” “The Northern Field? That’s out of our jurisdiction, right?” Corinne says. “There are lasers,” Matthew says, as if this would convince her. “Come on!” Tine orders. “There are a lot of straight lines,” Percy observes. “Straight lines can represent order in chaos,” Matthew adds. “There's a curvy painting here,” Astra says. “It’s very beautiful. It may mean that real beauty exists in the lack of a planned design,” Tine claims. “But where are the lasers?” Sabine asks. “Yeah, what the hell,” Astra says. Suddenly, a laser zooms past our heroes. “Finally! I was starting to wonder,” Matthew says. “Why didn't they show up when we first got here?” Corinne asks. “It's not the first time a f**king cursed piece of technology hasn't obeyed us,” Percy says, and suddenly he's shot to death by a laser. “We have a contact who works in security, and he's in the market for a new laser system,” Tine says. “Get lost,” the headmaster orders, and the cops arrive and take our heroes to the dungeon, minus Sabine, who escapes before the headmaster can move. They think they are trapped forever. But fortunately, one of their team members is a speedster. Sabine arrives quickly and frees the protagonists from the dungeon. “We are so happy to see you,” Tine says. “Anytime,” she responds. “Let’s get you out of here.” “Aren’t we missing something?” Matthew says. “What?” “Don't we have to get the students out of this dystopia?” “That’s a problem for another day.” Red comes at Sal Toretto and his friends from all sides. It pours out of the walls, and descends on them from above. No, this isn’t hell. It’s Northern Field Academy. “Marie!” someone says from behind him. “We have to keep going, Sarah,” Sal says. “It’s what Marie would want.” After what seems like forever, they finally get to Sal’s locker. He frantically opens it and takes out a watch. He presses it in the center. Astra is all smiles as she and the rest of the team walk out of the WHS auditorium. It was an early matinee, so it’s mid-afternoon. “April, that was amazing. You were so good.” April looks at her. “Really? You think so?” “Yes. I know Roxie is supposed to be the bad guy, but you had all of us cheering for her. You should be proud.” Darren coughs exaggeratedly. “Yes, you and Tine were good, too,” Astra adds. “Yes, as high school productions go, it was not the worst I’ve seen,” Sabine says. “And I’ve seen many.” “We should celebrate,” Corinne says. “Yes!” Phil says. “What’s your favorite place called? The Red Lion—” Tine’s Tory Watch lights up. “Guys.” “Where is it from?” Astra asks. “Northern Field Academy.” “Is that where Percy—” Darren starts to say. Tine interrupts him. “One of us needs to stay here.” “I’ll do it,” Matthew says. “Me too,” Phil says. “I’ll be the hero on call for the day.” “Be careful.” “We will,” Astra says. “We’ll be back. I promise.” “Darren,” Tine says, “you want a real field test?” Darren doesn’t have time to answer before he is swept away from the quaint halls of Wesaeec and into the fire. Once they arrive at the Academy, Corinne immediately twists into a shield. The laserfire seems to concentrate on them. “Okay, this is so much worse,” Valiant says. “Why is it worse?” “We have to get to cover,” Sal says. “Come on!” He urges the team into a classroom and locks the door. “I know it’s not the Red Tiger,” Phil says as he, Matthew, and April walk around a park, “but you have to admit, these milkshakes are really good.” “Fine,” Matthew says. “You got me.” “Yes! One down, six to go. I will get all of you.” He sees April staring off into the distance. “April?” “They’ll be fine, April,” Matthew says. April whirls around to face him. “How do you know?” “They’re trained—” “They were trained last time.” “But this time, they know what they’re getting into. And plus, they have Darren.” April laughs. “Guys,” Phil says, “look.” He points to a spot of grass where there is … nothing? “I swear there was a kid there.” “Is this payback for yesterday? Team Valiant hazing ritual,” he adds to April. The kid reappears. “See? It’s like magic.” “It might actually be magic.” Matthew cautiously approaches the kid. “Hey, what’s your name—” She disappears again. “Where did she go? Phil?” “Right. Wes’ resident hero, reporting for duty. Revelio!” The girl is revealed and, seeing that her invisibility trick failed, resorts to running. She runs right into April. “We’re not here to hurt you. What’s your name, sweetie?” “Moira.” “Where are your parents, Moira?” Moira shrugs. “Well,” Matthew says, “if you can’t tell us where your parents are, you’re gonna have to come with us. There are some people out there who we wouldn’t want to get a hold of you.” In response, Moira turns invisible again and breaks free of April’s grip, causing her to lose balance and fall to the ground. Phil helps her up. “Okay, this is getting annoying. Revelio!” He reveals Moira. “Venga!” Moira runs to him. Sal boards up the classroom door with a nearby closet door and a chair. “Thank you so much for coming. We thought you had abandoned us.” “No,” Valiant says. “We had to get ourselves out before we could think about a rescue.” “I’m Sal. These are my friends, Sarah and Priya.” “Valiant.” She points to her teammates. “These are my teammates, Sherman, Twist, S—” The vampire interrupts her. “Moonlight.” “And who’s he?” Sal says. “That’s Darren,” Valiant says. “He doesn’t have a code name. I don’t understand. The Graffhams are in jail. How are the lasers still up?” “You really thought that this would stop with them?” Sal shakes his head. He’s only thirteen, but has the hardened expression of someone who’s been through more than his fair share of life. “After Carson was gone, there was a power vacuum. His assistant, Vice Principal Martin, stepped in, and dialed the lasers up to eleven. This is one of the last rooms where the windows are laser-proof.” “It was Mr. Jepsen’s room,” Sarah remembers fondly. “He was one of the first teachers to step up against Carson.” “We had a Mr. Jepsen, too,” Valiant says. “He was kind of a jerk, though.” “So what’s the plan?” Darren asks suddenly. “I assume there’s a plan, unless we’re all going to sit here and wait for the secret police to get us.” “The plan,” Priya says, “is to go underground.” Sherman takes out an explosive. “Great. I’ve been wanting to explode something.” “No. We’re not exploding anything. Where did you even get that?” “I nicked it from a jewel thief.” “Are you sure about this?” Matthew asks. “Yes,” April replies. “My parents aren’t home, and you can’t bring her to the Armory, can you?” “I suppose not.” They go inside, Phil following behind with Moira. “Okay, kid,” Phil says, “parents.” He draws out the word. “Does that word ring any bells?” Moira shakes her head. “Anyone know how to babysit a kid?” “I do. I used to babysit my neighbor’s kids when I was 12. I just put the TV on for three hours. Easiest money I ever made. Let’s go, Moira.” He leads her out of the room. Twist grimaces as she steps in something wet and slimy. “When you said underground, I didn’t realize you meant sewer.” Priya smiles, bemused. “What did you think I meant?” “I don’t know. I thought you would at least try to clean your secret tunnel system. You guys are terrible hosts.” “Why are we even down here anyway?” Sherman asks. “The lasers don’t work down here,” Sal explains. Sabine speaks up. “Okay, but where are we going?” “If we can get to the center of the school, we can take out Martin and the lasers in one fell swoop.” “‘Martin and the Lasers,’” Darren says. “Sounds like a bad ‘80s band.” Gunshots puncture the group’s laughter. “Oh yeah, the police can still get down here,” Sarah says. “We should probably run.” Matthew brings Moira back into April’s kitchen, and it’s evident that the girl has been crying. “What did you do?” April says. “We were watching The Hunger Games—” “Are you serious? That movie is way too violent for her.” “I watched it when I was 10.” “Yeah, same,” Phil chimes in. “You - not helping,” April says to Phil. She turns to Matthew. “You, you can’t just put on a movie. Kids like it when you actually interact with them. Do you want to play a game, Moira?” Moira nods. “Great idea,” Matthew says. “Maybe we could actually get some information out of her.” “Or we can just play a game.” “Fine.” Sherman is confused. “Why did we stop?” “The lasers are right above here,” Sal explains. “The only problem,” Priya says, pointing to the vent, “is that none of us can fit in there.” Twist speaks up. “I can fit in there.” “That’s what she said,” Darren quips. “No, I’m serious. I’m gonna need a boost.” She shifts into a mouse and uses Valiant’s boost to get into the vent. “So, now what?” Sherman says. “Do we just wait here?” “I don’t see any other choice,” Valiant observes. They wait for an agonizingly long time before Darren says, “Is anyone else concerned—” He is interrupted by a booming voice that seems to come from everywhere at once. “Insurgents. Return topside at once or face grave consequences.” April shows Moira all the board games she has. “What game do you want to play, Moira?” Moira shrugs. “How about Taboo?” Matthew suggests. “Do you want to play Taboo?” Moira nods enthusiastically. Matthew opens the box and sets the game up. “Do you want to give clues or guess?” “Guess,” Moira says, causing Phil to nearly fall over in shock. “Holy crap,” he says. “You got another word out of her.” Moira points at Phil. “He said a bad word.” “That’s a whole sentence.” “Okay,” April says, “who do you want to give you the clues?” Moira points at her. “Matthew, start the timer.” He does. “Okay, this is … something that you put at the top of the wall. You look at it when you’re bored.” “Clock,” Moira guesses. “Correct. This is something that you need in order to exist.” “Water.” “You’re good at this.” She looks at the next card. “Crap. Okay, you have two of these.” “Thumbs,” Moira guesses. “Nope. They love you.” “Friends.” “Uh, pass.” She moves on to the next card. “This was a popular movie a few years ago—” Matthew cuts her off. “Time.” “What was the one you passed on?” Phil asks. “Parents,” April says. “The other one was taken.” Moira runs out of the room suddenly. The group, led by Valiant and Sal, returns topside to find Martin, with a smug grin on his face. One of his many henchmen holds Twist captive. True to her hero name, she twists and thrashes violently, but is unable to escape his grip. Valiant mimes a mouse, but she shakes her head and motions to a nearby desk, where a needle with green liquid in it sits. “Let her go,” Sal says, with as much confidence as he can muster. “I don’t think I’m going to do that,” Martin responds. “I caught this insurgent trespassing. Trying to tamper with my lasers. My lasers!” He yells this last part, causing Sarah and Priya to flinch. “I tried,” Twist says. “He put a safeguard. I couldn’t—” “Silence! I think I’m going to use her as a lesson for the rest of you insurgents.” He walks over to the desk, opens one of its drawers, and takes out a large knife. “Wait,” Sarah says. “Let’s play a game.” “What?!” “Yeah, I’m with him,” Priya says. “What?” “I don’t know,” Sarah hisses back. “I’m talking out of my ass here.” “What game?” Martin says. Sal speaks up. “Baseball. We win, you disable your lasers and leave and never come back.” “And if you lose?” “Do whatever you want to us.” Sarah’s eyes widen. He gives her a look. Trust me. “There are only eight of you.” “I’m fast,” Sabine says. “I’ll cover left and center field.” “Yeah, Carson told me how fast you are. He also said my serum wouldn’t work on you. Very well. Ready your team. I trust you know where the diamond is.” “We do,” Sal says. Phil opens yet another door. “Why do you have so many rooms in your house?” “It’s Victorian,” April says. “I don’t know!” Matthew finds a locked door. “Found her.” “I didn’t even know this door could lock. This is my sister’s room.” She knocks on the door. “Moira?” “Go away,” comes the response. “Did we say something? Did I say something?” Moira says nothing. “Let me,” Phil says. He opens the door gently. “Is the reason you don’t know where your parents are because you were taken from them?” Moira nods. Sensing that she is about to cry again, Phil goes inside and sits next to her on the bed. He motions for Matthew and April to follow. “We can help you,” April says. “My friends are heroes. They fight bad people to make the city safer for us regular people.” “Where were you taken?” Matthew asks. “Can you take us there?” In response, Moira takes his and Phil’s hands. “Oh, right now?” He nods to April, who touches his shoulder, and the four are instantly transported to a boring laboratory room. Moira swiftly identifies the scientist who bursts in the room. “Bad man!” The scientist starts to say something, but Phil interrupts him. “Noquea!” The scientist is knocked out and transported back to April’s house along with the four of them. “See? All better.” “Thank you. He won’t…?” “Wake up? No, not for a while.” “And by the time he does,” Matthew says, “the cops will be here.” “Now,” April says, “let’s get you to your parents. But please, no teleportation this time. I’m not sure if my stomach can take another trip.” “Can we still be friends?” Moira says. “Of course. You can come over for games anytime.” April gives her a hug. “I hope you have a plan, Sal,” Sarah says, “because in case you haven’t noticed, we’re losing.” It’s nighttime now, and the moon is dominating in the sky. “Actually, I do,” Sal replies. “Sherman, where’s that explosive?” “Right here,” the blonde says. “Why?” “Instead of pitching the ball, my plan is that you’ll throw that back to me, and I will take out the lasers at their source.” “But that’ll kill you.” “No,” Sarah says. “There has to be another way. Can’t Moonlight do it?” “No can do,” Sabine says. “The room is lined with silver.” “I have to do this, Sarah,” Sal says. “I have to do it for Marie and everyone who isn’t here. Don’t try to talk me out of it.” As Martin realizes what is happening, he sends his goons after Sal, but our heroes are able to distract them for long enough so that Sal can execute the plan. Sarah cries softly. “Thank you,” Priya says. “For what?” Darren says. “We didn’t do anything.” “You set him up,” Sarah says. “You loaded the bases so he could bring us home. I just wish he were here to see it.” “He’s watching somewhere,” Priya says. She takes out Sal’s Tory Watch. “And speaking of watches, he said he wanted you to have this.” “Anytime you run into laser trouble,” Valiant says, “we’ll come.” “Though I suspect you won’t be having any more of that anytime soon,” Sabine says. She moves to leave, but Priya stops her. “Wait. Why do you go by Moonlight?” Sabine’s fangs glint in the moonlight as she says, “Figure that one out yourself.” “A jewelry store. That’s different,” Astra MacKenzie, the heroine known as Sherman, quips.
“It seems as if they are augmenting their operations,” the teen wizard Astrophel “Phil” Morose, says. “What, Houston?” Photine “Tine” Multmoff, also known as Valiant, says. “They’re branching out,” Sherman explains. “Just say ‘branching out.’” “Copy that, Sherman,” comes the response. “And, Houston?” “Astrophel. Astro. Houston Astros,” Valiant explains. “Nicknames are faster in the field.” “Ah. Still getting the hang of this superhero thing, Braveheart.” Valiant blinks. “Valiant? Brave? Braveheart?” “Hey, idiots.” The vampire Sabine Chu punches one of the jewelry thieves. “Less taking names, more kicking ass.” “You got it, vamp,” Darren Siu says, taking down another thief with two well-timed hits to the groin and face. “And stay down.” He is stunned when Sabine grabs his arm. “Hey, we’re on the same side.” “Don’t call me that,” she says, her voice icy. “Okay. So what should I call you?” She uses her speed to run over to a thief approaching Darren from behind and bite him. He falls to the ground, unconscious. “Scary. I’m gonna call you scary.” “They’re getting away,” Matthew O’Leary, Team Valiant’s tech operative, says over comms. “On it, Motherboard.” Shapeshifter Coriníon “Corinne” Morris, also known as Twist, shifts into a giant wall to block two of the remaining thieves. “Almost. It’s Firewall.” Valiant returns the jewels to the grateful shop owner. “Thank you so much,” he says. “How can we ever repay you?” “Stay out of trouble,” the heroine says. “I’ll do my best.” Valiant walks over to the rest of the team. “Everyone okay?” Twist helps Phil up. She looks down. “What happened to you?” Phil’s face flushes. “He took my shorts.” “We have to look for them,” Phil says at the Armory, Team Valiant’s secret base. “What?” Astra asks. “Your shorts?” “Can’t you just get new ones?” Corinne says. “I can,” Phil says, drawing out the word, “but it’s the principle. And there’s something weird here. This has never happened before.” “Do you have any enemies?” Tine says. “No. Everyone generally likes me. That’s why I’m confused.” “That’s what I thought,” Darren says, “until Brad Binghoffer gave me a wedgie in fifth grade.” “Yeah, Brad’s a dick,” Matthew says. “I’ve had my fair share of run-ins with him. But I agree. We should investigate this.” “You can,” Tine says. “Darren and I have rehearsals for Chicago all week.” “Oh, right,” Corinne says. “Damnation Week.” “Close. Hell Week. I’m just glad I’m not acting anymore. Wish us luck.” “Good luck,” Sabine says. “Hey, I’m sorry you didn’t make the cut.” “I’m not. It was too much work. Plus, I prefer New York anyway.” “Say hi to April for me,” Astra says. “Talk to her yourself. I don’t understand why humans make things so complicated. Back in my day, when you liked someone, you killed someone and gave them first dibs.” “Ignore her,” Tine says. “Astra, Corinne, watch over the boys for me?” “Wait,” Astra says. “What about the other thing Phil said? About the thieves expanding their operations?” “Yes,” Phil says, “these guys aren’t just hitting convenience stores anymore. First, it’s a jewelry store. What next, a museum?” “I shudder at the thought,” Matthew says. “But I might have a lead. I looked into jewelry-related transactions in the area. It turns out the local Bridge Outlet is getting an abnormally high amount of jewelry shipped there.” “You know what that means,” Tine says. “Operation Cloud 9?” “Operation Cloud 9. Who wants to do it?” “I can’t. I’m on the shorts thing with Phil.” “No,” Corinne says, “I’m not good with people.” “And Sabine’s even worse,” Tine says, nodding. “Oh, no,” Astra says, knowing what’s coming. Tine looks at Astra. “Looks like it’s all up to you.” “Oh, joy.” “Working retail is easy,” Matthew says. “Just look surly. You’re nailing it already.” “Again!” the orchestra conductor says. “Ugh, we’ve gone through this section five times,” Darren grumbles. “And you’ll do it again! This is the most important section.” “Do we have to?” Tine says. “Yes. You have to get it right before we rehearse with the cast tomorrow. From the top, everyone.” Tine rolls her eyes. “Oh, this isn’t so bad,” Astra says at Bridge Outlet. Her store uniform has a name tag that reads Janis. “There’s no people.” Just as she says this, someone walks up to her. “You had to jinx it, Mackenzie.” “Excuse me,” the man says. “How can I help you?” Astra says sweetly. “I’m looking for something for my girlfriend.” “What’s her favorite color?” “Purple, I think.” “How about topaz?” “Isn’t that orange?” “I don’t know. I just work here.” The guy is growing irritated. “That’s why I’m asking you.” He points to a necklace with a purple stone. “I’ll take that one.” “Okay, I traced your shorts here,” Matthew says over comms as Phil walks into an empty alleyway. “That part I get,” Phil says. “I just don’t understand why I have to wear these.” He looks down at his shorts, which are adorned with anime characters. “Darling in the Franxx is a niche anime,” Matthew explains. “If these are collectors, it’ll be like catnip to them.” “And if they’re criminals?” “Then you should be glad you didn’t wear something you liked.” “Right. So when are they gonna get here? I’m feeling a little exposed here. This is where they kill the guy who looks like me, you know.” “You’ll be fine. That’s not these guys’ MO.” “We didn’t think the convenience store robbers would hit a jewelry shop.” “Patience, Phil. That’s one of the things you’re gonna have to learn as a superhero: patience. Some things take a long time. Stakeouts in particular.” “Patience. You’ve got it, Firewall.” He waits a few seconds. “Okay, I’m flat out of patien—” He cuts off when a masked assailant appears out of nowhere and steals his shorts. Phil is running after the guy. “Where did he come from?” “These guys are like damn ghosts, I’m telling you.” “Ghosts are a real thing, you know.” Phil is breathless. “You’re kidding me.” “Nope. One almost killed my friends in Ocean City.” “Damn,” Phil pants. The assailant jumps in the trunk of a car and drives away. “I lost him.” “Tell me you at least got the tracer on him.” “Of course. What do you take me for, a total noob?” “Darren, I know you can do this,” the conductor says. Darren shakes the spit out of his trumpet. “I’m trying, Mr. Odes.” “You fought for this solo, Darren. Don’t let me down.” “I won’t.” “You know, you don’t have to prove anything,” Time says from her spot next to him. “Yes, I do. I’m the second—” “Second-best trumpeter in the school. I remember.” “Yeah, and with John Terrio suspended for the next three weeks, now is the time for me to toot my own horn, if you will.” Tine shakes her head. “That was terrible.” “You ready, Darren?” Mr. Odes asks. “Yeah, Mr. Odes.” “From 52. Let’s go!” They run the solo again, and Darren gets most of it right, but he flubs the ending. “No, now that was terrible,” he says to Tine. “I know you’ll get it.” Tine sees Darren’s look, and her face flushes. “My superhero instincts,” she corrects herself quickly. “They told me so.” “How?” “They tell me when someone is going to do something good, or bad. And you’re going to do something good.” “Careful. For a minute, I thought you were going all sappy on me there, Multmoff.” “Me? Never. Just a good hero.” “Instruments up, Darren,” Mr. Odes says. “You too, Tine.” “Any updates, Astra?” Corinne asks via comms from the Armory. “Nope,” Astra says. “It’s all clear.” Astra’s supervisor walks by. “Who are you talking to, Janis?” “No one,” she says quickly. “I was looking at the weather report. It’s all clear today.” “Uh huh. You’ve got a lot still here, Janis. I wanna see you sell some things.” He’s a bit of a hard-ass, but Astra gets the sense that he genuinely cares about his job. “Yes, boss.” The supervisor leaves. “Nothing suspicious,” she says over comms. “Just this one guy who had an attitude. But he didn’t seem criminal.” “Keep looking,” Corinne says. “Someone will show up eventually.” “Right. Patience. One of the core virtues of superheroing. Doesn’t mean I have to like it.” “What don’t you like?” Astra turns around to see her supervisor. “I know it’s not your job.” “I don’t like the current geopolitical state of the world. There’s too much war and poverty. It needs to change.” “What needs to change is your profits. You got it?” “Message received, boss.” “And don’t say ‘boss’ every time. It’s weird.” He leaves. “Right.” “A warehouse,” Phil says. “Of course it’s a warehouse.” “Sabine, can you go inside?” Matthew says over comms. Sabine tries. “Nope. The walls are lined with silver. I can’t get in.” “Well, that’s not good.” “Why not?” Phil asks. “It means they know us. But they might not know you, so tread carefully.” “Stealth mode. Got it, Firewall.” “We really need to get you a code name.” Phil slowly walks up to the warehouse door and tries to open it. It’s locked. Of course it is. “Teletranspuerto!” He teleports himself inside the warehouse, and hides behind a stack of boxes. “I’m in,” he whispers over comms. “Do you have the product?” he can hear one of them saying. “Maybe, maybe not. Do you have the money?” comes the response. The first voice pulls out a gun. “Enough games. Do you have it or not?” “I hate guns,” Phil whispers. “Tell me about it,” Matthew agrees. “Here we go.” “No. What ‘here we go’? What happened to ‘tread careful—’” “Hey!” All eyes turn to Phil. “Revelio!” He reveals the stolen shorts, but in unfolding them, also reveals an alarming amount of white bricks. “What’s going on in there?” Matthew says. “Okay, remember when the gun was the worst-case scenario? That’s not the case anymore.” “And now, the day you’ve all been waiting for,” Mr. Odes says as the cast of Chicago takes the stage behind the orchestra. “Did we all win the lottery?” Darren quips. “No, it’s our first rehearsal with the cast, or as it’s known in the business, a sitzprobe. So I expect you all to behave yourselves.” He looks pointedly at Darren as he says this last part, causing him to act offended. Tine sees a familiar blonde among the cast. “April. April—” “What did I say about behaving yourselves? No talking. We’re already behind.” “It’s so annoying when teachers say that,” Darren whispers. “You created the schedule. You’re the reason we’re behind.” “Zip it.” “I’m starting to lose my—” Astra doesn’t finish her sentence as a masked thief darts into her section of Bridge Outlet and steals a topaz ring. “Hey, get back here!” She tries to draw herself an elongated arm to catch the thief as he heads for the exit of the store, but she narrowly misses him even with that. Shaking off her now-normal-sized hand, she tries to draw a wall in place of the automatic door, but the thief takes out a controlled explosive and destroys it. “Oh, come on,” she says, coughing. “What’s the plan now?” Phil’s voice goes up with every word as he evades gunfire from the shorts thieves. “Just sit tight,” Matthew says over comms. “Not really an option right now.” “Someone will get you out.” “Someone? So not you?” “Me? No, I have to watch the Armory. Think you can hold out a little longer?” “Do I have a choice?” Phil says as he hides in an aisle to avoid more bullets. “Come out, come out, freak,” one of them taunts. “We know you’re in here,” another adds. “Yeah, real original, guys,” Phil snarks as they force him to come out and hide behind a tattered old couch. “How’s that evac coming, Firewall?” “Get outside,” he says. “Outside?” “There’s nowhere to go.” “Not true. Teletranspuerto!” He successfully teleports himself outside, where Sabine is waiting in the Vaniant, the team’s van. “Took you long enough.” “Sorry. I’m not used to driving,” comes the response. “I don’t have to do it very often.” “Just as long as you can get me out of here.” “Hold on, wizard.” Phil initially doesn’t, but then quickly changes his mind as Sabine quickly reverses and peels out away from the warehouse. Darren does the solo again, and he nails the ending this time. “Impressive, Darren,” Mr. Odes says. “Let’s take five, everyone.” “Of course you’d get it,” Tine says. “Because of your superhero instincts,” Darren says. “Right.” “And no other reason.” “Hey, April,” Tine says, ignoring him. “Can you believe it?” April Bradbury says. “I’m Roxie. I’m the lead.” “I can. You’re short, blonde, and annoying. It’s not that much of a stretch.” She scoffs. “Oh, you’re just jealous.” “I can assure you, that’s not it. Hey, Astra wants to talk to you.” “So?” “So you know how she is.” April sighs. “Where is she?” “Bridge Outlet. If you’re lucky, you’ll catch her before her shift ends.” “Shift?” “Ask for Janis. Hey, gotta go,” she says as the other musicians get ready to resume rehearsal. Astra cautiously steps through the hole in the wall and looks for any sign of the thief, finding none. What she does find is Sabine and Phil. “Need a ride?” the former says. “Don’t we have deceptive shorts to find?” Phil asks. “Yes, we do,” Sabine says, “but Sherman needed our help. And when your teammate needs help, you help them.” “Copy that.” “What do you mean, deceptive shorts?” Astra says. “Oh, turns out the shorts are actually a front for a drug-smuggling operation.” Astra’s eyes widen. They return to the Army, where Corinne and Matthew are understandably disappointed. “So basically we struck out on two fronts,” the former says. “Yep,” Astra says. “Unless you happen to know where in Wes a bunch of newly stolen jewels would be,” she adds, referring to their small Connecticut town of Wesaeec. “Actually,” Matthew says, “I do. Ivan Abakumov. He’s a Russian billionaire. He already had a good amount of jewels, but he just got a lot more.” “Let’s go pay Ivan the Greedy a visit,” Corinne says. “Sabine,” Twist says once they are in the van, “why don’t you go scout the place out for us?” “No problem,” Sabine says, then returns not a second later. “Silver. So much silver. You guys are on your own.” “Should have seen that one coming,” Sherman mutters. “What?” Twist asks. “Nothing. Where were the jewels?” “Basement storage room.” Twist and Phil are fighting Ivan’s goons. They are numerous, and they have guns. “Where is she?” the former asks. “I didn’t realize he would have so many goons,” Phil says. “I am certainly getting my goon sea legs.” “I just hope she gets here before they—” She cuts off when the goons’ guns are jammed by small objects flying into them, and are just as suddenly snatched away from them by an elongated arm. “That works.” “That’s the last of them,” Sherman says. “Let’s get the rest of the jewels and go.” “Ah, you thought it would be that easy?” Ivan tsks. “Americans. Always so arrogant.” He thrashes at them with a silver chain. “Okay, plans—” She cuts off when Twist shifts into a giant stained-glass sculpture and draws the chain. Sherman uses this opportunity to snatch the chain from Ivan’s hand with her extended arm. Twist shifts back into human form and places handcuffs on Ivan. “How did you know that would work?” “Turns out I was wrong,” Twist says. “Mr. Summers’ environmental science class actually was good for something. Silver doesn’t scratch glass. Now, don’t we have some drug-laced shorts to find?” Sherman’s phone dings. “You do.” She touches her comms. “I need to go to Bridge Outlet.” Sabine arrives and speeds her away, leaving Twist and Phil confused. “This time,” Phil says once they are outside of the warehouse, “we need a plan.” “I have one.” Phil turns around to see Valiant and Darren. “They already know we’re coming, so my plan is to have you get all of us inside as soon as possible.” “Copy that.” He takes Darren’s hand. “Teletranspuerto!” Once they are all in, Valiant uses her spikes to take out three of the assailants. “Whoa, cool move,” Darren says. “Yeah, but I’m all out of spikes,” she says. “But I’m not,” Darren quips as Phil throws him a large box, which he sends at the head of one of the assailants, knocking him out. “Okay, now that one was terrible.” Valiant is stunned out of this moment by a gun being pressed against her head. “You forgot one.” “And you forgot I’m a wizard,” Phil says. “Noquea!” He knocks him out. “There you are, Janis,” Astra’s supervisor says when she arrives at the Bridge Outlet. “Your break was supposed to be ten minutes, not an hour.” “Astra, thank God,” April says. “Wait, Janis?” “Long story,” Astra says. “Can we talk?” “This isn’t social time, Janis,” her supervisor says. “You’re still on the hook for that hour.” “Give me a minute, Gary.” She takes April aside. “What do you want to talk about?” “You. I mean, us,” Astra stammers. “I mean, I thought we had a connection, that day when the Graffhams attacked. I thought you let me in.” “We did.” “But ever since then, you haven’t said a word to me. It’s like I’m not even there.” “I’m sorry. It's not you. I’ve been in my own world ever since I got the part of Roxie. I’m not like you and your level-headed superhero friends.” “We’re not that level-headed. One time, we had an actual super-villain on our team.” “Seriously?” “Yeah.” They start to walk towards the now-walled exit. “I can’t wait for Tuesday. I know you’ll be great.” “Thank you. And I’ll check in. Make time for friends. Promise.” “Hey!” Gary says. “Where do you think you’re going?” Astra takes off her nametag. “I quit.” “What about your uniform?” She walks through the hole in the wall. “I want to remember my time here. All I have under here is my suit,” she whispers to April, who snickers. “So? Are you gonna join the club?” Darren asks Phil while they are walking to their next class.
“Are you even in the club? Are you a member?” Phil counters. “I’m a member-adjacent,” he clarifies. “And, anyway, I don’t know. It’s not like I’m excited to risk my life every day, especially after the Climacteric.” “That’s true,” Darren concedes. “But wouldn’t it be cool?” “I suppose so.” “And you would actually have friends, which I know is what you want.” “Who told you that?” “It’s not exactly a secret, man,” Darren says before he and Phil are interrupted by a blast sending them to the ground. “What was that? Tine asks Matthew and Corinne from the cafeteria. “Yeah, I thought you said it was a dispersal device,” Corinne adds. “That sounds more like a destruction bomb.” “That is terribly redundant,” Matthew comments, “but I think that the dispersal device made an impact when Paige put it in the ground.” “Seems like it did a bit more than that,” Tine opines. “We need to find Astra and Sabine,” Corrine says. “Then we can have a chance at figuring out what Paige’s master plan is.” “Everyone stay calm,” Astra urges her and Sabine’s history class after the blast. “You know, when you say that, it makes people not calm,” April yells back. “Don’t worry,” she says earnestly. “We’ll keep you safe. I promise.” “Have you ever dealt with something like this before?” April says. “Well, not exactly.” Sabine is thrown off by this sudden change in tone. “Sheesh, let’s bottle up all of that negativity and direct it at the source of this chaos.” “And why should we listen to you? You’re just a sophomore,” a student opines. Sabine is in advanced history due to her extensive knowledge acquired through the years. “Trust me, I know.” “I would listen to her,” Astra insinuates. Just then, Tine, Matthew and Corinne arrive, and another blast causes several institutions around the room to collapse, trapping our heroes and April on one side of the classroom apart from everyone else. “Maybe I can speed over there,” Sabine says. She tries to do so and fails. “Nope.” “Let me see if I can get a spike through the bookshelf,” Tine suggests. “No, that’s too risky. It could collapse more,” Matthew points out. “Wait. It’s you guys,” April says aloud. “You’re Team Valiant.” “Yeah, it’s you. That’s why you were stalking me last month,” she continues, indicating Matthew,” and that’s why you’re doing and throwing all this weird stuff right now.” “We’re researching for a play for the drama department,” Matthew tries. “I’m in the drama department,” April says. “I would know.” “You promise you won’t tell anyone?” Astra asks. “I won’t, if I get to be a part of the team,” she proposes. “Temporarily, I mean. I hear you’re looking for a new member after Percy Johnson’s passing.” “He was murdered—by that stupid school and its dumb lasers,” Matthew corrects her. “Seems like I struck a nerve.” “Anyway, we don’t accept just anyone,” Tine says. “There’s a rumor going around that Phil Morose is being considered.” “Who told you that?” Sabine inquires. “I heard from Darr—” “Darren. I knew we couldn’t trust that scheming son of a b***h,” Corinne opines. “Wait. There aren’t any lasers here, right? That wasn’t part of Paige’s master plan or anything?” “We can’t rule it out. Come on, let’s get back to the Armory,” Tine urges. “What about Phil?” Astra queries. “He’ll come if he wants to. Darren knows the spot.” “Really?” Corinne questions. “What’s the Armory?” April asks. “You’re about to find out,” Matthew responds hurriedly as the team exits the chaotic history classroom with April in tow. Paige’s father, Carson Graffham, is revealed as the architect of the dystopian school that was the site of Percy’s death. A map of the scholastic dystopia can be seen in Paige’s lair. “Are we gonna make Wes like your pet project there, Dad?” Paige asks. “No, I have something else in mind,” Carson replies. “Good, because I couldn’t stand not being able to curse, d**n it,” Paige reveals. “You take after your old man in that way,” Carson says. “Did you get rid of the radicals?” “I believe so. Everyone’s hunkered down after the initial blast.” “I disagree,” Carson says. “There’s two heading toward the south side of town as we speak. Can you deal with them?” “Gladly, Father.” Paige sends another blast, deliberately this time, at Darren and Phil while they are trying to get to the Armory. “They’re targeting us. That’s impossible,” Phil says. “She’s caught on. That makes our lives harder,” Darren replies. “Everyone else isn’t moving. Maybe they have the right idea.” “No. We have to get to the Armory, so you can use your wizarding powers and help Team Valiant stop Paige.” “I’m not sure if that’s how I want to spend my high school years.” Another blast. “You’re not sure? You’re not sure?! You don’t have any choice,” Darren yells. “Here, try one of the teleportation spells. Uh, Muevalo, I think it is.” “Okay,” Phil replies hesitantly. “Wait. Don’t I need a magic wand?” “Do you have one?” “Great point. Muevalo.” The car in front of them moves up and out of the way. “Is that what you intended?” “No. I thought it would take us somewhere. Guess I got them mixed up. Let’s try something else.” “Hold on. Have you ever been to this Armory?” Phil inquires. “Well, no, but Tine gave me directions,” Darren responds. “So how do you expect me to be able to teleport somewhere that I’ve never been?” “That’s a great point. We need someone who has been there. Luckily, Tine also gave me an emergency contact.” “Wow, she really hooked you up.” “Yeah, let me just call this number.” “You know, the leader of Team Valiant wouldn’t do this for just anyone.” “What are you saying?” “I think she likes you, dude.” “That’s what you’re thinking about right now?” “It’s a nice distraction.” Rolling his eyes, Darren calls the number, and Addie Quick answers. “Can you come to our location and take us to the Armory?” he asks. “Who are you?” Addie says. “Darren. Tine gave me this number. Can you come or not?” “The Armory? You Wes peeps are really pushing your luck. That’s two favors this month.” Another blast is heard. “Yeah, we’re kind of in a jam here, and we would really appreciate a lift.” Addie groans. “Fine.” She takes Darren and Phil to the Armory, where the rest of the team and April are stunned. “Delivery for Tine Multmoff. Is there a Tine here?” “I’m so glad you made it,” Astra starts to say before Addie leaves abruptly. “Well, I guess we’re on our own,” Corinne says. “They escaped? That’s impossible,” Paige says in anger. “What do you mean, they escaped? I gave you one job,” Carson replies. “Well, they had some help.” “What help? Was it the same help that freed them from the Northern Field Academy?” “I believe so.” “And you didn’t get rid of him?!” “She’s a her,” Paige responds. “How do you know that?” Carson asks indignantly. “I had one of my associates bug them three weeks ago.” “Didn’t they destroy that bug?” “Nope. They were too busy with my associate.” “And where is this associate of yours?” “They defeated him.” “Do we need to rescue him?” “No, that would expose us. He did his part. Now, it’s up to us. Soon, the city will be ours.” “Okay, now that we’re all together, we can start working on a plan to defeat Paige,” Tine says at the Armory. “You didn’t start yet?” Darren asks indignantly. “I started,” Matthew speaks up. “Wait,” April says, and indicates Sabine. “Isn’t that the girl who bit me?” “Well, that depends,” Sabine starts to say, but is interrupted when April suddenly punches her square in the nose. Her fangs descend. “That’s right, I did my homework. I’m not working with her. How do I know you didn’t Turn me?” “I sucked the venom out,” Sabine responds. “I would never Turn someone without their consent.” “You didn’t have time to suck the venom out.” The vampire proceeds to speed around the room. “Not a problem.” “Bet you didn’t do your homework on that,” Corinne says. “I trust her,” Astra says. “If she says she didn’t Turn you, she didn’t.” “You know what?” April says. “I strangely trust you.” “So, Matt, tell us all about your big plan.” “It’s a two-part plan,” Matthew says. “First, we have to deactivate the dispersal device. Then, we go after Paige.” “Won’t Paige be protecting the device?” Tine asks. “If I’m right about this, Paige will be going after us, leaving the device unguarded.” “And how do we know that you’re right?” Phil inquires. “He’s always right,” Tine says loudly. “Suit up!” “But I don't have a—” Phil puts on Percy’s old suit. “This suit smells like it hasn’t been washed in two weeks.” “I’m guessing that’s because it hasn’t been,” April says. “April and I don’t have suits,” Darren says. “We could get recognized.” “Oh, take a chill pill. No one knows you,” Twist suggests. “I’m the second-best trumpeter in the school, and April is a decent drama— drama-tist?” “Actress,” April supplies. “And I’m not gonna need a suit, since I won’t be doing this full-time.” “Oh, and I will?” “You seem pretty committed.” “We should split up,” Valiant proposes. “I’ll take Matt, Sabine, and Darren, and we’ll take down the device. Sherman, you take the others and get Paige.” “Wow, you’ve grown. The Tine I moved here with would’ve gone for all the glory,” the blonde observes. “Yeah, well, we’ve all grown. Now, go!” They do, and Valiant’s team encounters Carson. “Stop right there!” he yells. A fight breaks out, but Sabine speedily incapacitates Carson, only to have his army emerge from behind him. “Oh, come on!” Valiant yells. Tine and her team start fighting Carson’s army. “Did you really think he wouldn’t have an army?” she asks indignantly. “Matt’s plan,” Darren emphasizes the word, “didn’t account for it.” “We’ve never faced an army like this on our own before,” Matt reveals. “Even last year, the Jacobs siblings did things on their own.” “Melanie Jacobs? She was in my history class,” Darren says. “The one and only,” Sabine answers. “Quick, they’re going to the device. Someone—” She narrowly fails to stop the device, and the army begins to turn into clones of Paige. “Well, that’s terrifying,” Matt opines. “Tine, you weren’t kidding when you said—” Darren starts, but is interrupted when he and Matt, too, begin to transform into Paige lookalikes. “Give it up, Paige!” Astra yells as her team closes in on Graffham’s lair. “We have you surrounded,” Phil adds. “Why would I? My plan is just beginning,” Paige asks. “What plan?” Corinne returns the question, and is shocked when Astra and April begin to turn into Paige lookalikes. “This is your plan?” Astra-as-Paige inquires, stunned. “One of you is too many, let alone 20 million,” Corinne quips. “How do we know who’s who?” Phil queries. “They’re still wearing the same clothes, you dope.” “Oh. Right.” “Why did it only affect them?” The scene switches to Valiant’s team. “I think, since we’re metahumans, whatever the device dispersed doesn’t affect us,” Sabine says. “Well, you are. I’m—We’re—” “Evolved,” Valiant finishes. “We’re evolved humans. So all we have to do is take out the device and everything will go back to normal.” “I wouldn’t do that if I were you,” Matthew-as-Paige advises, and the fight resumes. “We have to take out the device,” Valiant says over the chaos of the fight. “Do you have any ideas?” Sabine yells back. The scene switches to Corinne and Phil. “I’m gonna try something, but it didn’t work last time,” the latter says. “Whatever you got, man,” the former replies. “We’re up to our necks in Paige, and I’m quite frankly sick of it.” “Okay, here goes. Teletranspuerto.” Phil turns up on the other side of the lair with Tine and Sabine. “Phil? How did you do that?” the former asks, awed. “I just teleported here,” Phil responds. “Well, can you take out the device?” Sabine inquires. “Let’s see. Reviertalo.” Fluids can be seen heading back into the device, and Astra, Matt, Darren, and April return to normal. “Good job, man,” Matthew compliments. “Thanks,” Phil replies. “Matthew, do you want to do the honors?” Valiant asks. “Sure,” he says, and then moves to a waking Carson. “Carson Graffham, you are under arrest for conspiracy and collusion.” “Collusion?” April inquires. “I heard someone say it on TV. Sounded fancy.” “You did a great job out there, Phil,” Matthew says at the Red Tiger. “I think that you are worthy of replacing Percy. Well, no one can replace him, but you know what I mean.” “Thanks, man. I didn’t know there was a test,” Phil responds. “So? Are you going to join us?” Tine asks. “We could definitely use someone of your caliber,” Astra adds. “I think I will. It’s risky, but it’s a good risk. Besides, those spells were fun,” Phil says. “Where did you come up with those, anyway?” Darren inquires. “Most of them were just Spanish words. Since magic is a centuries-old art, I figured the spells would probably be in Latin, and Spanish is based on Latin.” “You figured that out all by yourself?” Astra says. “You’re a frickin’ genius.” “Lots of things are borrowed from Latin, like plays,” Corinne says. “I prefer Astra’s explanation,” Phil says. “Speaking of plays, Tine, Darren, and I still have Chicago to worry about,” April remembers. “Oh, yeah, I’m sure lots more people will come to opening night after this,” Darren points out. “But, in the meantime, let’s celebrate. We deserve this,” Tine says emphatically, and raises her milkshake. “To new beginnings.” “To new beginnings,” everyone else agrees, and they drink. “Speaking of new beginnings,” Darren says, “I think one thing is clear.” “What’s that?” Tine says. “You like me. Why else would you trust me with sensitive information when I wasn’t on the team yet?” “So you are joining the team.” “Did you hear what I said?” “Yeah, I heard you. Did you have a question?” “She has trouble letting people in,” Corinne says. “But she’ll get there.” Astra looks at April. “Sounds like someone else I know.” “Careful,” April says. “Keep this up and I’ll make you pay for my shake. And I don’t think being a hero pays well.” “We get paid in gratitude,” Matthew says. April arches an eyebrow. “Ah, who am I kidding? Pay’s terrible. But that’s not why we do it. It would be nice, though.” “So, you decided to take up acting, huh?” Sabine asks Tine on the way to the WHS rehearsal for the spring production of Chicago.
“Yeah, to quote Dilbert Silvercloud, I wanted to broaden my horizons,” Tine responds. “Why are we talking about him now?” Corinne inquires. “Alright, we gotta go. See you later, Twist-tie,” Tine says. “Hate that nickname,” she yells back. In the rehearsal, Sabine observes from the pit as April is scolded by the drama teacher for having her phone out during a rehearsal. “Put it in your pocket. I shouldn’t have to tell you,” Mr. Jepsen says. “Oops. My b,” April says, and does so. Later, Tine also has her phone out during the rehearsal, and refuses to put it away. “I don’t wanna ask a second time,” Mr. Jepsen says. “He doesn’t wanna ask a second time,” stage manager Paige Graffham repeats. “Well, that was redundant. Well, that was redundant,” Sabine whispers to trumpeter Darren Siu, who chuckles. “No talking!” Mr. Jepsen yells. “I don’t like her,” Tine whispers to April. “That goes for you too.” “That’s crazy that Percy’s gone,” Astra says at the Summit. “Thanks for coming to his service, by the way.” “Of course,” Dilbert Silvercloud says. “No problem,” Ophelia Toadstool says. “I didn’t expect to see you guys again so soon, though I’m not sure I was wanted by everyone.” He steals a glare at Corinne, who glares back. “I’m really gonna miss that guy,” Matthew says. “We all are,” Tine agrees. “But let his death serve as a lesson to all of you. No one is invincible, not in this business.” “Except me,” Sabine says. “No, not even you,” Astra chimes in. “Someone comes up behind you with a stake, that’s it. We don’t have time-travelers anymore.” “Shutting up now,” Sabine promises. “What do you mean?” Dilbert asks. “What happened to Berto and Tomás?” “You didn’t hear? Apparently, our heroic stand against the centaurs was against the rules of bureaucracy, and now Humberto and Tomás have to argue our case with the Department of Time Management.” “Dang. Gotta love bureaucracy.” “ ‘Department of Time Management’?” Ophelia says. “Could they have picked a more TVA-sounding name?” “Anyway,” Tine says, “we have an open spot on the team now. Anyone have any candidates?” Matthew immediately dismisses the idea. “No, we can’t replace Percy.” “No one said we’d be replacing him,” Corinne says. “But we might need all the help we can get if Paige Graffham is who I think she is,” Tine posits. “We’ve talked about this, Tine,” Astra reminds her. “You can’t just go around suspecting everyone you don’t like of being a villain.” “In my experience, everyone—” Tine starts. “Everyone who you think could be a villain, is a villain,” Corinne finishes. “We know.” “That sounds a lot like someone else I know,” Ophelia says. “But we’re happy to stick around if you need us,” Dilbert says. “Yeah. My soccer game got postponed, so it’s not like I have anywhere else to be.” “Unless the pixies come back. Which they won’t. Maybe.” “That point of view is awfully cynical,” Matthew opines. “Me, I’m an optimist.” “Thank you,” Sabine agrees enthusiastically. “You’ll see,” Tine says. “So what exactly are we doing here?” Sabine asks Tine when they arrive early to the rehearsal the next day. “We’re seeing if Paige Graffham proves my suspicions,” she responds. “Ooh, suspicions,” Darren says from behind them. “I love a good mystery.” “Who is that?” Dilbert says. “That’s Darren,” Sabine says. “What’s his power?” “He doesn’t have any,” Tine says. “Civilian love interest,” Ophelia says. “I see.” “Love— Did you invite him, Sabine?” “Well, he sort of invited himself,” Sabine reveals, “but he seems determined to help us suss out Paige.” “‘Suss out,’” Tine repeats. “God, I hate that phrase.” “Why?” Darren inquires. “Whatever. I’m gonna try and get a closer look at Paige from backstage. You guys tell me what you see from the pit,” Tine says, then mumbles to herself, “Suss out. What does that even mean?” “I don’t think that we need to replace Percy, myself,” Corinne opines. “Sabine already kind of did,” Matthew adds. “But what if we need another sorcerer?” Astra counters. “Dilbert’s not gonna be here forever.” “Thank God,” Corinne says. “Sabine brings a different skill set, one that we didn’t even know we needed.” “Yeah, the vamp skill set. Why didn’t she go through the lasers?” “She was nervous,” Matthew responds. “We’ve all been there.” “I think you’re still there,” Astra jests. “You’re still there,” he snarks, before all three are caught off guard by a student who seemingly “pushes” his binder towards himself telekinetically. Sabine, Dilbert, Ophelia, and Darren watch from the pit as Tine tries to inspect Paige’s backpack backstage, but is caught. “What were you doing with my stuff?” Paige asks annoyedly. “I was looking for an extra script,” Tine lies. “I lost mine.” “I don’t know if I believe you,” she replies hesitantly, “but I do have an extra. Just one, OK? No more." “Thank you.” “And I don’t wanna catch you snooping around in my stuff anymore.” “You won’t.” She doesn’t tell her that it will be because she will employ stealthier methods (Dilbert and Sabine) so as to avoid detection. “How should we approach him?” Matthew asks from the other side of the hallway. “Have you never had a conversation with another human being before?” Corinne responds indignantly. “The first step is the greeting,” Astra explains mockingly. “An example is—” “Salutations,” Phil greets them. “Astrophel Morose, but you can call me Phil.” “You seem awfully chipper for a wiz—” Matthew starts, but Astra nudges him. “I have to counteract the stigma from my name. Everyone thinks that I would be this closed-off, typical teenager, but I think that all any teenager really wants is to make friends,” he explains. “True statements,” Corinne affirms him. “Come with me.” “Did you see anything from the pit?” Tine asks. “Negatory,” Darren responds. “Who talks like that?” Sabine inquires. “I have another assignment for you,” Tine says before Darren can respond. “I don’t know if I’m comfortable doing any more snooping,” Sabine wonders aloud. ‘Well, it didn’t work when I did it. But she won’t even see you.” “Why won’t she see you?” Darren queries. “Ooh, are you like Invisi-Girl or something?” “Or something,” Sabine responds. “Try and see what you can see from backstage, and report back,” Tine commands. “Ok. But I can’t use telekinesis on something I can’t see.” “Well, good thing we have a magic user with us.” “I thought it was funny,” Tine says to Darren after Sabine leaves. “See?” Ophelia says. “I told you you liked him.” “I do not.” “Sure.” The camera switches to Dilbert and Sabine looking for Paige’s bag. “Encuentre!” Dilbert’s spell reveals the bag, and Sabine telekinetically brings it away from prying eyes. She finds something of consequence, but must quickly return when Paige shows up. “It was a dispersal device,” she tells Tine. “She’s gonna remake the world in her image,” Tine replies. “Well, I’m not sure if I’d go that far,” Darren opines. “Don’t tell anyone,” Paige says from behind them. She quickly knocks out Tine, Ophelia, and Darren. She then uses a mirror to reflect Dilbert’s knockout spell back onto him, and spritzes some holy water on Sabine’s face. Sabine promptly becomes unconscious as well. “Would you go that far now?” Sabine says to Darren irritatedly some time later. “I would, yes.” “So how are we going to get out of here?” Darren queries. “Yeah, I’m working on it,” Tine tells him. “When Promontory and I got trapped by Maria Hernandez, she used her fangs to nullify the restraints,” Dilbert says. “Now, obviously, we’re in a locked cage, so you can’t do that, Sabine.” “Her what?” Darren inquires. Sabine bares her fangs at him. He recoils in shock. “I think I have an idea,” she then says. She proceeds to phase through the bars of the cage and take out the lock. “You can do that?” Tine asks in awe. “I can do lots of things.” “I’ll say,” Darren mutters. “Okay, now get us out of here before Paige comes back,” Tine commands. “Copy,” Sabine responds. “So you’re superheroes,” Phil says slowly. “Yes,” Astra affirms. “And I’m a wizard?” Phil asks. “I believe so,” Matthew responds. Corinne suddenly breaks her pencil. “Now say Enmendio,” she asks Phil. “That’s not a word, but okay. Enmendio,” he obliges, and the pencil is fixed. “That’s so cool. So, what are your powers?” Corinne twists into a screw, her preferred form. “That’s insane. And you two?” Phil says. “I can make my drawings come to life,” Astra says. “And I help them out from the Armory,” Matthew explains. “That’s our base.” “So, you’re the tech guy?” Matthew nods. “What do you think? Do you want to join us?” Astra queries. “We could use you,” Corinne adds. “I’ll think about it,” Phil responds. “It sounds time-consuming.” “We’ll take it,” Matthew declares. “Well,” Dilbert says at the Armory. “That was fun, but I’m afraid we have to go back to the best coast.” “Oh, no,” Corinne says sarcastically. “Don’t go.” “I’ll miss you too.” “Now you’re just messing with me.” “Good luck with you and Darren,” Ophelia says. They leave. “What did she mean by that?” Astra asks. “Nothing,” Tine says quickly. “There is no ‘me and Darren.’” “Right.” In an end tag, Paige motions to her accomplice. “Now that Multmoff and her friends have been taken out of the picture, we can move onto phase two.” “What about the other two?” the accomplice asks. “They shouldn’t be a problem,” Paige opines. “That was pretty good, how we beat the Thesaurus,” Percy says at the Armory.
“Yeah, we sent him running for his life,” Matthew says, “with my technical genius.” “Wait! You don't get to take all the credit,” Astra remembers. “It was a team effort.” “Yeah, Team Valiant and her Sidekicks,” Corinne adds mockingly. “If you don't feel recognized, my advice is to change your attitude. Otherwise, you know where the door is,” Tine says. She sees Sabine coming in and adds, “And if you don’t know, now you know.” “Mr. President,” Astra finishes her sentence. “Oh my God,” Tine complains, “another Hamilton reference.” “You want to be in the room where it happens,” Matthew adds. “The room where what happens?” Sabine asks. “We don't have time to explain to you. We have an alert coming from the Northern Field. Someone reported an illegal use of technology in a school setting.” “The Northern Field? That’s out of our jurisdiction, right?” Corinne says. “There are lasers,” Matthew says, as if this would convince her. “Come on!” Tine orders. When our team finds the site in the Northern Field, Percy is the first person to realize that something is wrong. “To quote every Star Wars movie ever, I have a bad feeling about this.” “I haven't found any lasers in real life,” Matthew reveals. “He's excited,” Sabine says. “He won’t be excited when someone dies,” Percy responds. “That won't happen,” Astra says. “It's our tenth adventure together, and no one has died.” “You’ve been counting?” Corinne asks. “It's true. We’re venturing into unknown territory. We need to keep our guards up,” Tine says. “I volunteer as tribute.” “Man, I loved that movie,” Percy says. “I thought it had too much violence,” Astra argues. “Plus, it was just depressing,” Sabine says. “You guys! All of us are going there,” Tine yells. “And The Hunger Games was a great movie.” “What’s the plan?” Astra asks Tine. “The plan is, Corinne and I will enter the school to do some recon and report to you when we return,” Tine responds. “Why does Corinne always go on recon missions?” Sabine asks. “Because she can twist into a shield to protect us from a surprise obstacle.” “You make a good point.” They explore the school and discover some very nice buildings. They then guide the rest of the team through the center of it. “Good, there are a lot of straight lines,” Percy observes. “Straight lines can represent order in chaos,” Matthew adds. “There's a curvy painting here,” Astra says. “It’s very beautiful. It may mean that real beauty exists in the lack of a planned design,” Tine claims. “But where are the lasers?” Sabine asks. “Yeah, what the hell,” Astra says. Suddenly, a laser zooms past our heroes. “Finally! I was starting to wonder,” Matthew says. “Why didn't they show up when we first got here?” Corinne asks. “It's not the first time a f**king cursed piece of technology hasn't obeyed us,” Percy says, and suddenly he's shot to death by a laser. "We need to find the source of the lasers before more of us become like Percy here,” Tine says. “Is he ...?” Astra is afraid to finish her sentence. “Yes, unfortunately, Percy is no longer with us.” A moment passes. “I have a theory. What if a laser appears every time we curse?” “That would be terrible,” Corinne says. “Half of my vocabulary is cursing.” “That's sad,” Sabine responds. “Shut up!” Corinne says, a little too loudly. “It’s very dystopian,” Astra observes. “I have a lot of experience reading dystopian books.” “Yes, because reading a book is the same thing as experiencing that thing in real life,” Corinne says drily. "And do you have current experience in a dystopia?” Astra responds. "No, I have no experience with this,” she relents. “But, in my defense, no one has ever experienced that in real life.” “So how do we deal with her?” Sabine asks. “First, we need to deal with the secret police of this dystopia,” Tine says with an air of uncertainty as men in dark uniforms with red emblems charge the protagonists with hideous swords. “We forgot about the secret police that always accompanies a dystopia,” Astra says the obvious after the fight and he quickly runs away from the scene. “And how do we beat it?” Corinne asks. “It is not possible and we have to avoid it. But the problem is, there is it everywhere. Oh, we have good oblique angles here,” Astra says. “But, I digress. We must proceed to the source of the lasers. It's probably close to the director. Let's go!” “I think the angles are a bit disturbing,” Sabine says as they walk silently to the principal's office. “What shall we tell the director? ‘Your school is very terrible and you must remove the lasers’?” Corinne asks. “They say that honesty is the best policy. Now, I'm not so sure,” Astra says. “Why don't we come to this from a business standpoint?” Matthew suggests. “We will come up with a more lucrative use for lasers,” Tine announces. “I can guess where the principal is based on what we know about the buildings at this school,” Matthew says. “He must be in a small room with the same red emblem we saw on the cops.” “Good job,” Corinne says. “It's amazing that you can get all of that with just his eyes.” Matthew opens the door, only to discover a picture of lasers in the room. “Come on!” Tine complains. “Who is the most athletic among us?” Tine asks. “It was Percy.” Astra says. “Another person? I don't want to have to avoid lasers.” “It's not me,” Sabine answers. “I'll go,” Corinne says. “I can change my shape to one that is more fluid.” “Yeah, how did we forget that?” Matthew asks. “You tend to forget a lot of things,” Corinne responds. Matthew glares at her. Corinne bypasses the lasers and takes them down for the others. “Well done! You were the Elongated Man there,” Astra says. “Or Elongated Woman,” Corinne says. “Who is that?” Astra asks. “I don't care. Now we can discuss with the principal about removing the lasers. Let's go!” “Who are they?” the director asks. “We are entrepreneurs, and we have a purpose for you,” Matthew tells him. “They’re kids. What can they possibly offer me?” “We have a contact who works in security, and he's in the market for a new laser system,” Tine continues. “Get lost,” the headmaster orders, and the cops arrive and take our heroes to the dungeon, minus Sabine, who escapes before the headmaster can move. The headmaster arrives to explain his point of view. “For me, lasers and all straight lines, vertical especially, signify my power over this school. No one will take it from me.” They think they are trapped forever. But fortunately, one of their team members is a speedster. Sabine arrives quickly and frees the protagonists from the dungeon. “We are so happy to see you,” Tine says. “Anytime,” she responds. “Let’s get you out of here.” “Aren’t we missing something?” Matthew says. “What?” “Don't we have to get the students out of this dystopia?” “That’s a problem for another day.” At her Farfalle Feast concert at the WMS cafeteria, Tine notices someone odd. She dismisses him as a trick of the eye.
However, she notices him again. “Guys, 10:00. Potential stalker alert.” “Stalker? That’s a big step,” Astra says. “You better have evidence.” “He’s staring at her,” Corinne replies. “Is that enough evidence for you?” “Maybe he just likes you, Tine,” Percy suggests. “Uh, hello, stalker,” Corinne says. “Yeah, not your finest moment there, bud,” Matthew says. “Shut up, Matt,” Percy requests. “Matt, what’s your opinion on this?” Tine inquires. “We need to gather more data,” he says, “rather than jump to conclusions.” “My man,” Astra says and leans in for a handshake. “Hey, why don’t we have a secret handshake?” Percy asks indignantly. “Shut up, guys. He’s coming over here,” Tine orders. “I saw you up there,” he begins. “You were phenomenal.” “You can barely hear me,” Tine points out. “Well, I thought I heard you,” he stumbles. Tine notes that he is delusional — another red flag. “You’re not well. I have friends. We can help you,” she says whilst trying to remain calm. “I don’t need your help,” he growls, and attempts to subdue Tine; however, he fails due to her lightning-fast reflexes. “Sounds like you could use our help after all,” Astra notes. “That was the whole point, Astra,” Corinne says. “You’re the whole point,” she snarks. “Well, that takes care of that,” Tine summates. “Yeah, you really took him to school,” Percy quips. “You made him face the music,” Astra adds with brio. Just then, Mysterious Stalker Dude charges Tine from behind, and is downed by a spike to the leg. “Wow, you’re on a roll,” Corinne observes. “Enough! Enough puns!” Tine shouts. “He fell right into your snare,” Sabine jests. “I said enough,” she repeats, louder this time. “Wow. You could probably take it down an octave,” Matthew jokes. “Gee, I wonder if he would be dumb enough to come back,” Corinne asks aloud the next day. “He probably would. Those types usually are,” Matthew reasons. “What is this categorization I hear? I don’t know if I appreciate this,” Percy opines. “They’re criminals, Percy,” Matt says. “They aren’t deserving of our respect.” “This is a dangerous argument to get into,” Tine warns. “If the public gets word of this, they could lose trust in us.” “That’s true. We can be bugged at any time,” Matthew adds. “If you’re listening, I value criminals just as much as the next hero,” Corinne yells into a seemingly vacant countertop. “Without them, we wouldn’t be here,” Astra adds. “Well, that’s not exactly true,” Matthew clarifies. “We would still be here, albeit maybe not in the same capacity.” “I beg to differ,” a voice bellows from the countertop, causing Team Valiant to take a collective step back. Percy nearly trips over a speaker on the floor. “You need us.” “Ha! I knew it!” Matthew says with joy. “Who are you?” Astra questions. “Your purpose for being,” the voice replies cryptically. “We are watching you at all times. We are even watching your tones.” “Oh, it’s Mysterious Stalker Dude,” Corinne is the first to realize. “That’s hurtful. Anyway, proceed with caution. We could show up at any time, demanding the sort of heroism that keeps you all waking up every morning,” the voice concludes. “Hello? Mysterious Stalker Dude?” Sabine asks, but the voice has disappeared. “Any progress on identifying him?” Tine asks of Matthew. “Not yet,” comes the response. “But I’ve made some headway.” “Headway?” Percy questions. “Progress. You don’t know that one?” He shakes his head. This strikes Matthew as curious. “Let us know once you have something,” Tine orders, and departs. Everyone except Matthew and Sabine follows. “Do you need help?” Sabine asks. “No, thank you. I appreciate it, though,” Matthew says. “I just wanna help as much as possible, because I don’t really feel like part of the team yet,” she reveals. “Give it time. I didn’t feel like part of the team at first, either,” he responds. “How much time?” she asks. “It’s not quantifiable, but when you know, you know,” Matthew summates. Elsewhere, Percy reflects on Mysterious Stalker Dude. “I should’ve seen him coming,” he opines. “I know everyone.” “Vain much?” Astra asks. “Obviously, you don’t,” Matthew says. The next day, Percy and the team attempt to gather intelligence on MSD. “Do you know anyone suspected of stalking?” Matthew asks bluntly. “That could be anyone,” his classmate, April Bradbury, says. “Half the dudes at this school are shady, including you. I don’t trust anyone except my friends.” She moves to pepper-spray him, but he runs away. “Coward,” she says to no one in particular. “Well, that was a bust,” Tine summarizes. “Yeah, no one knows anything. And I almost got sprayed - multiple times,” Matthew adds. “Sprayed? Who sprayed you? I’ll stab them.” Percy gives her a look. “I mean, give them a stern talking-to.” “April Bradbury.” “You talked to April Bradbury?” Astra asks. “Why did she spray you? What the hell did you say to her?” “Nothing.” Upon seeing her look, he adds, “I may have intimated that there was a stalker in our midst.” “You have to be more subtle. Especially with April. You can’t just go up to her like that. You have to win her trust.” “And have you won her trust?” “Not yet. But I intend to.” “We need a new tactic,” Corinne says. “I have an idea. There’s someone back in the O.C. who’s great at reading people. We need to bring in Rowena Lonemace,” Percy suggests. “No. We can do this by ourselves,” Tine opines. “We can read people.” “No, obviously, we can’t, and frankly, some outside help would be nice,” Corinne says, speaking up for the first time. “But you didn’t like our specialist last time,” Tine points out. “She sounds better than Dilbert,” Corinne opines, causing Tine to jab her lightly. Sabine looks at her, bewildered. “But how would we explain Row coming to our school?” Astra asks. “Don’t worry, Matthew will take care of all the technical stuff, won’t you, Matthew?” Percy asks. He nods his head in agreement. “So, it looks like we’ve got ourselves a guest coming,” Tine says. “Everyone, be on your best behavior. Who wants to pick her up from the airport? I know I don’t.” “Actually, Addie’s just gonna speed her over here,” Percy says. “She doesn’t wanna waste her airline points." “Smart,” Matthew comments. A few seconds later, Rowena enters. “Astra. Long time, no see,” she says and shakes Astra’s hand. “Wow, this place looks — the same as it did last month,” she comments. “You guys should hire a decorator. Oh, that’s right. You can’t. Well, how can I help?” “We’re dealing with a stalker, and we’re having trouble getting our classmates to tell us anything,” Corinne says. “Well, that’s unusual. My classmates would love to see a stalker gone. Why do you need me?” Rowena asks. “We need someone who can read people,” Astra says, and Percy nudges her. “You couldn’t have made it just a little less obvious?” he asks in a harsh whisper. “Oh, I see. You need a mind reader. When do we start?” “First, I need to come up with a fake transfer student I.D. for you, so that you don’t seem out of place,” Matthew says. “You can meet us in front of the main building at 8,” Tine says, and she leaves along with Percy, Astra, and Corinne. “Hey, you’re new to Team Tory, right?” Sabine asks. “Yes, I am. Why do you ask?” “How did you make them feel like you were part of the team?” “Well, I helped them catch some villains,” Row begins. “That’s it?” “No. I also had to fake interest in Sol’s speeches. Sometimes she goes on and on, oh, and Dilbert. God, I love him, but I don’t know what he’s talking about half the time." “Who are those people?” Sabine asks. “Oh, you weren’t on the team at that point, were you?” The vampire shakes her head. “Well, they’re on the team. All you need to know is, they’re my friends, and friends are interested in what each other has to say,” Rowena concludes. “Your I.D. is ready,” Matthew announces, with perfect timing, and hands her an I.D. card. Mia Lane, it reads. “Seriously? That’s, like the most generic name ever,” Rowena opines. “It’s what you got. I’m not doing it again. My printer is running out of ink,” Matthew says, and starts banging on his printer. “Thank you,” Rowena says, feigning enthusiasm, and leaves in disgust. Sabine leaves as well. The following morning, the team meets in front of the main building in order to gather intelligence. “You know the drill. Only one of us asks the questions, with Row here. We don’t wanna spook them,” Tine reminds them. “We know. This is not our first rodeo,” Astra reminds her. Tine, Sabine, and Rowena head off and find April. “I’m so glad you were able to come,” Tine says. “I know senior year is busy.” “It is,” Rowena says, “but honestly, there’s someone in the OC I needed to get away from.” “Everything okay?” “It will be. I’m not ready to talk about it yet.” “Understood. Let’s move on to easier topics,” she says as they reach their mark. “Do you know anything about a stalker around here?” “No, same as I told the other guy. Frankly, I think that he was the stalker,” comes the response. Rowena takes her hand off of her forehead. “She’s lying,” she whispers to Tine. “I think you do,” Tine says. “Anything you can tell us would be much appreciated,” Rowena adds. “Who are you—” April begins, but is interrupted when a speedy blur arrives and begins to drain her blood. “You will tell us what you know,” Sabine says, but it is muffled by her fangs being in April’s neck. Tine springs into action and karate-kicks Sabine to the ground. April walks away, clutching her injured neck. “You can’t just go around biting every potential informant,” Tine says back at the Armory. “She wasn’t gonna tell you guys anything,” Sabine opines. “You were being too secretive.” “We’re vigilantes. It’s part of the job description,” Rowena adds. “Plus, now you’ve turned her. You have to assist her through the transition process.” “What do you know about that?” Sabine asks. “I work with Team Tory, remember?” Rowena reminds her. “Right. My memory must be fading. Occupational hazard.” “How old are you?” Percy asks, and Sabine hisses at him. “Never ask a lady that question,” Matthew says, spinning around in his chair. “Anyway, while you guys were doing nothing, I was narrowing down our list of suspects based on info from Percy and Corinne here. I think that I have two possible names.” “Hear that?” Corinne asks. “We were productive.” Sabine sticks her tongue out at them in response. “Keep your tongue in,” Rowena advises. Sabine is clearly still petulant. “Who are you, my mom?” “They are Ray Stewart and Brian Strickland,” Matthew concludes. “I say we find Stewart first. He should be hanging out with his exclusive study group,” Percy adds with disdain. “It’s on 5345 Maplehurst Street. Wait. Isn’t that an apartment building?” Astra wonders aloud. “So entitled he rents out an apartment. Sounds like our guy,” Tine comments. “We meet back here in 5. Suit up.” “Man, I love it when she says that,” Matthew says. Astra rolls her eyes. “Ray Stewart?” Tine yells. “Yes? You’re trying to get into my study group? All the spots are filled. Should’ve thought about it in September,” Stewart advises. “You’re coming with us,” Corinne informs him. “Why? So I can tell you how lame your little costume party is? I don’t think so,” Stewart says, but is knocked out by a well-placed palette from Astra. “We know you’ve been stalking people at our school. The question is why,” Tine begins after removing Stewart’s blindfold upon entrance to the Armory. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Stewart says. “Oh, I think you do,” Percy opines. “No, I really don’t,” Stewart says again. Just then, a wooden stick comes crashing through the Armory windows and almost hits Matthew. He ducks. “Am I free to go?” Stewart asks. “Yes. Rowena, show him out,” Tine orders, and she obliges, remembering to put the blindfold back on. As she does so, a marquee with a prominent car brand on it enters the Armory. Astra catches it in midair. Realizing that that didn’t work, Strickland flees. “Why did we just get attacked by a stick and a Chevy marquee?” Tine asks. “Those don’t seem like very effective weapons to choose,” Percy says. “Thank you, Captain Obvious,” Corinne snarks. “Maybe they weren’t his chosen weapons,” Matthew says. “Maybe he wanted other weapons, but those are what he got." “Sol told me about a villain like this,” Rowena remembers. “They called her the Dictionary.” “Yeah, she could conjure up whatever she was thinking of,” Percy adds. “Sounded terrifying.” “What if Brian Strickland is like this Dictionary person, except he conjures up a synonym of whatever he’s thinking of,” Matthew posits. “So he sends a stick instead of a stake, because he was targeting Sabine here, and a brand instead of a sword,” Astra catches on. “How do we fight this guy?” Corinne asks. “We don’t. I do,” Sabine says. “Are you sure about that?” Percy asks. “You do remember what happened last time?” Rowena adds. “It’ll be over before you can say thesaurus,” she promises. “That’s it. Thesaurus,” Matthew says triumphantly. “What? Oh, he’s the names guy,” Rowena realizes, and Corinne nods. Sure enough, Sabine is able to defeat Strickland very quickly and send him to the Sheath. “To Sabine!” Tine toasts. “Now, you are officially part of the team,” Matthew adds. “Really, I couldn’t have done it without you guys,” Sabine says. “I think you could’ve,” Astra opines, “but you didn’t; so, thank you.” “You’re welcome,” she responds. “Yeah, you were like a one-woman band out there,” Tine compliments. “And that accelerando,” Matthew says, and makes a circle with his thumb and index finger. “Well, I’ve gotta get back to Ocean City. I’ll go out there and look for my extraction,” Rowena resolves. “Thanks for helping us,” Tine says. “Anytime,” she promises. Addie arrives. “I should get a key to the city at this point.” “There isn’t much to open,” Matthew says. “Good luck with your someone,” Tine says, and Rowena nods. “Farewell, friends,” Addie says. They wave. “Thesaurus, huh? That’s one of your best ones yet,” Percy says. “Well, I try,” he replies modestly. The students of the small Connecticut town of Wesaeec, known as Wes, are stunned when they all seem to have full stocks of binder paper. “We must investigate this,” Percival “Percy” Johnson determines.
“The binder paper? It’s not harming anyone. Quite the opposite, in fact,” Astra MacKenzie points out. “Yeah, there’s no Climacteric here,” Coriníon “Corinne” Morris says. “But there could be,” Photine “Tine” Multmoff responds loudly. Humberto Diaz gets a call. “Hold that thought.” “I’m serious. We need to get out in front of this binder paper surplus before it turns into one. Wow, sentences I never thought I’d say.” “I agree,” Matthew O’Leary says. “Sometimes things look fine on paper, but turn out to be a big deal.” “Alright,” Tine says annoyedly. “What’s with Berto? He’s been getting a lot of calls lately.” “I don’t know,” Tomás Guerrero admits. “I’m trying not to think about the possibility that he might have another secret group of friends.” Humberto comes back. “So are we investigating this or not?” “I don’t see why not.” “I don’t like it. Sounds like a real paper chase.” Tine rolls her eyes. The next day, the team investigates the surplus. “Where did you get that binder paper?” Matthew asks. “From the store, you weirdo,” comes the response. Their classmate’s face is obscured by a hoodie. “I don’t think that you did,” Percy ventures. “Well, I did. Do you want some or not?” The classmate is perturbed now. “No. That’s the thing. I have enough. Everyone has enough. We suspect supernatural elements,” Matthew clarifies. “Oh, are you guys the heroes who saved the town last year? And then you and the Pierce-based heroes let everyone drop off the face of the earth for six weeks. I remember you. Well, I remember this dude.” The classmate points at Percy. “I don’t remember you,” she says to Matthew. “You must be the tech guy.” “That would be me,” he reveals. Percy pulls him aside. “Dude,” he whispers forcefully. “What?” Matthew asks. “We don’t just go about revealing our secret identities to everyone we see,” Percy tells him. “Oh. That makes sense,” he realizes. The stranger reveals herself to be Sabine Chu, the overeager vampire who assisted in the takedown of the Jacobs brothers the previous May. “So you are doing missions without me. I knew it,” she says. “That was a test, and you failed. What if I didn’t know you guys?” “That would be bad,” Percy clarifies. “Luckily, we don’t have to deal with that.” “But now I can be on the team, right? For real?” “Fine. Meet us after school at the Armory.” “The where?” “The secret base,” Percy whispers. “Copy that. Ten-four, Thaumaturge,” she whispers back. “Don’t do that.” Sabine frowns. “So, what’s our first mission?” Sabine asks. “We have to investigate the sudden binder paper surplus that took Wes by storm the other day,” Percy informs her. “Oh, wasn’t that great? Now I never have to borrow from other people again,” she says. “We suspect that unnatural elements are behind such a sudden change in supply,” Matthew says bluntly. “Or, the cost of production went down immensely,” Corrine speculates, “and all the sellers are capitalizing on it.” “That’s why it’s called capitalism,” Astra jokes, and Percy groans. “Really?” the teen sorcerer says. “She just started her Econ class, and has been waiting for the right time to make an economic pun,” Tine explains. “I see. They had to wait for the right opportunity cost,” Sabine quips. “Not quite. But keep working on it,” Astra suggests, and Sabine gestures in the affirmative. “I have information on the Binder Paper Meister’s next move. It seems like he, or she, is intending to bomb Precision’s binder paper supplier in order to become the sole supplier of binder paper for the area,” Matthew declares. “That’s smart. Take out the competition,” Astra says, and Tine punches her lightly. “I mean, that’s terrible. We have to do something about it, obviously. I was testing you.” “Did we pass?” Matthew asks. “Of course you passed, you nerd,” Astra teases him. “Anyway, how are we gonna stop this guy? I can speculate that he’s a guy,” Percy asks the group. “It’s not that hard. We’ll just cut off his access to the supplier,” Tine says. Humberto’s phone dings again. “Speaking of cutting things off, I’ll be right back.” “Okay, what is with you, man?” Tomás asks. “We have to go. Tine, you can handle this, right?” “Of course,” Tine says. “When will you be back?” “If all goes well, soon.” They try to cut off the BPM’s access, but are unpleasantly surprised when the Meister throws explosive paper airplanes at them and escapes. “Well, who has a better plan?” Corinne says. “I have an idea,” Percy says at the Armory the next day. “Paper airplanes rely on aerodynamics. What if we alter the composition of the room so that he can’t throw them?” “That wouldn’t work,” Matthew realizes. “If he can’t throw them, they’ll just drop on the floor and explode still.” “What if we use the Green Vacuum, but modify it to suck all the paper out of the room?” Astra suggests. “Why not use a regular vacuum?” Corinne counters. “Have you seen a regular vacuum? Those things are impossible to tweak,” Matthew points out. “There’s practically no tech in them at all.” “Of course I’ve seen a vacuum. What kind of question is that?” “A rhetorical one,” Tine sighs. “We need to put this plan into action.” “But what if we don’t want to use the Vacuum? That thing hasn’t always worked for us.” “Yeah, it’s 1-for-2,” Percy adds. “Well, let’s make it 2-for-3,” Tine says. “Suit up!” Once they meet at Elmhurst, Astra says, “This feels a lot like last year, when we had this plan, and it was great, but it totally backfired and half of us literally dropped off of the face of the earth.” “There are no centaurs this time. There’s no possible way this can backfire. We can do this. We will do this,” Percy assures her. Sure enough, they are able to shrink the Vacuum down to portable size using its motherboard and bring it to the Meister’s lair, which Matthew was able to trace. “How did you find this?” Astra asks him. “Don’t question the genius,” he responds coolly. “Meister! We’ve got you surrounded,” Tine yells. “What did you call me?” the Meister says. “Never mind. I don’t care. And as for the other thing, that hasn’t stopped me before.” He throws his paper airplanes, and they all go into the Vacuum, which contains the explosion. “Well, I see you brought some new tech,” he states. “Well, we’ll just have to do this the old—fashioned way.” He raises his fists. Tine stabs his left wrist with a spike. “You really don’t know us at all, do you?” Astra asks. “Yeah, you’re super violent,” the Meister realizes. “Says the dude who throws paper explosives at his problems,” Percy points out. “Fair point,” he concedes. “Mansfield! Got another one for you,” Tine yells. Team Valiant has continued their great relations with the WPD after the Extraneous Event. “Great. We’ll take it from here,” Officer Perry Mansfield replies. “You have the right to remain silent,” he begins while leading the Meister away from the scene. “Another job well done,” Corinne says at the Armory that afternoon. “Good job, team,” Tine commends them. “I couldn’t do this without you.” “Yeah, we know,” Matthew says. “Humberto, Tomás,” Percy says, “you’re back.” “We are back, briefly,” Humberto says. “Briefly?” Astra says. “We have to go again,” Tomás says. “Probably for a bit longer this time.” “Apparently, the Climacteric was a fixed point,” Humberto explains. “By defeating the centaurs and bringing everyone back, we fundamentally changed history and angered the Department of Time Management.” “The Department of Time Management?” Sabine says. “Yep, they exist, and they are pissed.” “Wait,” Tomás says. “Maybe that’s why we couldn’t transport TOM back to Absaroka. They were messing with our powers.” “Well, good luck,” Tine says. “Holler if you need us.” “Yep, you too,” Humberto says. “But it seems like you guys had this one handled.” “It wasn’t that hard, right, team?” “Definitely not,” Astra agrees. “We’ll miss you guys.” “Until next time,” Tomás says. The two depart to an unknown time. “I’m just glad you guys could antitrust me enough to let me have this one.” “That was even worse than Sabine’s,” Percy says. Tine glares at him. “Yeah, you’ve really found your place on this team, Matthew,” Astra points out. “All because of you guys,” he credits them. “To us!” They all participate in this salutation. When walking around school, Tine hears reports that someone was “shot in the eye” and lived to tell the tale. She initially considered this absurd; the team agreed with her.
“That’s absurd,” she recalls Percy saying. “Hey, be nice,” Matthew says. “I’ll look into it just to be sure.” “We might be dealing with some sort of healing factor freak,” Astra posits. “Careful. We don’t want to get on the bad side of the next Wolverine,” Corinne cautions. “Relax. He’s not here, is he?” Tine says. “Wolverine is dumb,” Percy says. “His movies were boring.” “What’s wrong with him?” Corinne asks. “Oh, it’s his time of the month,” Matthew says. “Who says it’s a he?” Astra remarks. Corinne counters, “We girls aren’t usually that stupid.” “You’d be surprised.” Tine turns to Astra. “We found this one trying to steal a rug.” Astra gasps. “You said you wouldn’t tell them about that.” “Wow,” Tomás says. “You really ripped the rug out from under her, didn’t you?” “Oh, ha-ha.” “You’ll have to excuse him,” Humberto says. “He’s still in cheesy pun mode.” Percy and Matthew have grown sick of this constant arguing between them. “Well, I’m off to do some prestidigitation,” the former says. Matthew follows him. “And I’m technical support, so see you guys.” “Doesn’t technical support stay here?” Corinne asks. “And I have a date,” Humberto says. “Good for you,” Tomás says. “I’ve got homework.” They depart as well. “Well, that was uneventful. We failed to formulate the slightest ounce of a plan,” Tine complains. “Welcome to the real world, Tine. Life isn’t always some battle that you can punch your way through,” Astra chides her. “Shut up, Astra.” “I’m out. I’m going somewhere where I’m actually appreciated.” She emphasizes the last word. “And then there were two,” Corinne says in a faux melodramatic voice. “We can do two. Sol and Dilbert did two when they first started out, before I came on.” Corinne doesn’t really want to make a plan without the others, but she doesn’t wanna be rude, so she indulges her. “You can meet me on the west side of the school, and we’ll see if we can find our regenerating culprit.” “I’m not seeing anyone,” Corinne states, which is rather obvious. “Be alert,” Tine cautions her. “She didn’t look suspicious at first.” “Ah, so you admit the suspect is a girl,” Corinne notices. “Fascinating.” “Yeah, I just didn’t want to do it in front of Astra, because she gets all uppity about that sort of stuff—Wait! That’s her!” “It was crazy, Gina. I thought I was gonna die,” the suspect tells her friend. “Still on the same story, I see. Not very creative,” Corinne says sardonically. “Wait,” Tine says. “Is that Melanie?” “But you didn’t, Melanie, because you’re still here. How are you still here, by the way?” Gina responds. “Shhh. I don’t want the cameras to see us,” Melanie cautions. “Oh, so she’s slightly crazy,” Corinne points out. “Should’ve expected that, being that she’s perpetuating a crazy theory.” “It might not be just a theory.” Corinne turns around to see Astra pop up behind her. “Astra, you scared me.” “Oops. My bad. That’s just what I do. I’d suggest getting used to it.” She sees Melanie. “Mel—” “Shush. We’re trying to catch someone here.” “Who, Melanie? She doesn’t pose a threat to anyone,” Astra points out. “She’s on our side.” “For now,” Tine agrees, “but my experience in the OC was when someone could be a threat, they usually were.” “But not always.” Tine sighs. Astra storms off in a huff. “Did you get her, Matthew?” Corinne asks. “Affirmative,” comes the response. “I’ll alert you guys if I see her do something suspicious.” The next morning, Corinne gets a text from Matthew. I saw our suspect do something suspicious, it reads. She heads to the Armory. “What’s our game plan?” Percy asks. “This will surprise no one,” Tine says, “but she’s at a warehouse. We’re gonna flank her from all sides. I’ll take north, Corinne will approach from the west, Matthew from the east, and Astra will come in from the south.” “What about us?” Humberto says. “You guys are backup, in case something goes wrong.” “Aw, we’re always backup,” Tomás complains. “It’s an important job.” “Wait,” Corinne says. “What did she do that was suspicious, Matthew?” “She grabbed her friend by the backpack and made her walk in a certain direction,” Matthew says. “That could mean anything. Maybe she just wants to show her her new locker decorations,” Astra posits. “Yeah, but she wouldn’t be that forceful if it was that,” Percy says. “Good thinking, Percy,” Tomás says. “No, not good thinking, Percy,” Astra says. “Yeah, it made her want to rethink her hypothesis,” says Corinne in her faux dramatic voice. “This is America. What happened to innocent until proven guilty?” “There has to be a trial for that,” Tine says. “Suit up.” “I decided on my codename,” Matthew says outside of the warehouse. “Firewall. Because I’m the tech guy.” “I’ll allow it,” Sherman says. “What have you got there?” “Oh, these?” He takes out two metal balls. “I call them my Fireballs.” “Do they actually have fire?” “Not yet. But I’m working on it.” “Darn. It’s probably for the best. Wouldn’t wanna accidentally light the first girl who’s ever shown an interest in me on fire. That would not be wise, no.” “You’re rambling. It’s gonna be fine. We got this.” “I hope so.” “You look nervous,” Valiant says. “It’s just,” Twist says, “what if Astra’s right, and Melanie is innocent? We don’t have a reason not to trust her.” “And yet, for some reason, I don’t. Trust me, back in the OC, we ran sting ops like this all the time. It was never a simple misunderstanding.” “You talk about your time there a lot. Do you miss it?” “Sometimes. Mostly, I miss how easy everything was there. I knew what my place was. I was Sol’s trusted lieutenant. Here, it’s all on me. If this op goes bad, or any other one, it’s my fault.” “That’s not true. You didn’t force any of us to be here. We can make our own decisions. And if anything goes wrong, we can blame the boys for giving us bad directions.” “I like that idea.” A short time later, they arrive at the warehouse, and find Gina tied very hastily to a chair and an angry-looking Melanie. Sherman comes in first. “You don’t have to do this, Melanie.” “Yes, I do. Gina never appreciated me. Now she will pay!” Her voice rises, and she produces a large knife, so large that you wonder how it fits in her pocket. “It folds, see?” she tells Matthew when he asks. “That’s the knife,” Humberto says via comms. “What do you mean, ‘the knife’?” Matthew says. “The Rembrandt,” Tomás realizes. “Don’t let it touch you. You might end up in the past.” “That’s why she didn’t puke when we jumped the first time,” Humberto says. “She had done it before.” “Why the hell am I not down there?” Percy asks loudly over comms. “Because Matthew requested to be part of the field team,” Valiant reminds him. The camera shifts back to the action. “Let her go! We already asked nicely,” Valiant demands. “No!” Melanie shouts, and begins to lower her knife. At the last possible second, Matthew throws one of his Fireballs into the line of fire, and it knocks the knife into the wall. Melanie drops down to retrieve it, but is stopped by Valiant. The two wrestle before the latter is able to secure the handcuffs on our culprit. “Red Tiger?” Valiant says at the Armory. Twist nods. “Red Tiger.” As they celebrate, Melanie is broken out of the Sheath by an unseen figure, who then leaves. We find out that the rescuer of Melanie Jacobs is none other than her brother, Karl Jacobs. He has had an axe to grind with Tine ever since their father’s company headquarters was destroyed in the battle against Anita Grayson. He was then going to attack the team himself, but realized that his little sister, with her accelerated healing and enthusiasm, would prove useful. At school, Melanie sees to it that Matthew passes his Fireballs around the class for their perusal. With them out of the equation, she is able to quickly overpower him and take him to their base of operations. Darren and Daniel are captured as well. Darren awakes first. “What am I doing here?” “You’re bait,” Daniel says. “We all are.” “For what? I don’t understand.” Melanie and Karl enter. “Oh, classic villains,” Matthew says. “Kidnap the tech guy. Well, I won’t do it.” “Do what?” Karl asks. “I know you want something.” Melanie raises her knife. “We hope you’ll reconsider.” He does, seemingly, and a wicked new weapon is created. Called the Extraneous Thing, it sucks its victims into an alternate dimension where they can never solve any of their problems because the solutions are extraneous. Karl and Melanie move out with the Extraneous Thing and proceed to their first target, leaving Matthew behind. This was their first mistake. He immediately calls for backup. Thaumaturge notices the logo on the outside of the building. “Wilkinson Industries. Figures.” “At least it’s not another warehouse,” Sherman quips. Before they can enter the building, though, they are confronted by another of Dr. Blau’s ragamuffin creatures. “Another one?” Valiant says. “Seriously?” “And we can’t have Fleet kill it this time.” “I have an idea,” Thaumaturge says. “Noquea!” Nothing happens. “It’s too furry. The spell’s bouncing off.” Just then, a giant wall of ice separates them from the creature. “I’ll hold it off,” Stratus says. “Go!” “How could you let this happen?” Twist asks Matthew once they get inside. “Are you okay?” Valiant says, putting the difference between them on full display. “She overpowered me,” Matthew says sheepishly. “Well, that’s something I never thought you’d say,” Thaumaturge snarks. Sherman nudges him. “Are you okay?” Timeless asks. “I’m fine,” Daniel replies. “Just get the guy.” “Guys,” Matthew says. “There’s two of them.” “Of course there are,” Legend says. “We will,” Timeless says. “I promise.” “Get who? I still don’t know why I’m here,” Darren says. “You’re here because I was an idiot,” Sherman says, “and my partner here cares about you.” She looks at Valiant. “You care about me?” “They went downtown,” Matthew says. “Of course they did,” Valiant reasons. “For maximum collateral damage.” She chooses to not make a plan, as there might not be time for that. They go to open the door, but find that it is locked. When they turn around, they find themselves in an unfamiliar rural landscape. “Where the hell are we?” Darren asks. “You said the Extraneous Thing transports people to another dimension?” Thaumaturge says. “Yeah,” Matthew says. “But I—” “When I went to Wilkinson Industries, I got sent to another dimension. Maybe the Jacobses used their technology to make this door a portal as well.” “But you got out using a back door,” Valiant says, “didn’t you?” “So you can find a back door here,” Sherman says. “I can try,” Thaumaturge says, “but last time I did a spell in another dimension, it didn’t work. Okay, here goes. Devuelvo!” Nothing happens. “Strange. That worked for Dilbert.” “Powers are different for everyone,” Twist says. “What worked for him might not work for you.” She turns to Sherman. “And you can’t draw the portal, because you haven’t seen it before, so we’re stuck.” “This was her plan all along,” Timeless says. “What was?” Daniel asks. “She knew that you and Darren would draw us here.” “And she knew that your powers wouldn’t work,” Legend says, indicating Thaumaturge and Sherman. “But yours might,” Valiant says. “This dimension has time. You can tell by those trees.” The trees have started to lose leaves. “If you guys can take us back to when the portal was created, we would be able to get out on the other side.” “Valiant, you’re a genius,” Timeless says. “Well, I try. It’s gonna be a tight turnaround, so we have to be quick.” “Everyone, take hands. If this is your first time flying Timeless Air, you may experience some side effects.” They do so. “What side effects?” Darren asks. They return to our dimension, and are able to get out through the portal. Darren and Daniel veer off in separate directions to puke. “Oh,” the former says. “That’s what he meant.” “What do you think, Sherman?” Matthew asks as they are fighting the Jacobses. “Do we have permission to apprehend her now?” “Yes,” Sherman says. “In fact, I’ll do it myself.” She charges Melanie, but before she can do anything, Melanie touches her knife, sending them all back to the present. In the present, Karl engages the team while Melanie begins readying the Extraneous Thing. “You don’t have to do this,” Sherman calls out. “You don’t understand,” Karl tells her. “We Jacobses have never been respected by your people.” Thaumaturge gives him a look. “Superheroes.” “And you think blowing up a building will change that?” Twist asks indignantly. “We’re not blowing it up,” Melanie chimes in. “We’re just sending it away for a while.” “And what about the people who work there?” Valiant says. “They’ll be out of a job.” “Only temporarily.” She begins to ready the weapon. “Okay, guys, I designed this Thing with a reactor core,” Matthew informs his teammates. Twist is confused. “A what?” “An overarching weakness. It’s a one-shot deal. It only absorbs one thing. So, if you can get them in front of it, I can send them through it, rendering it useless and them stuck.” “But how?” Percy asks. “I can control it remotely.” He pauses. “No applause? What’s wrong with you people?” Scattered applause follows. “Wait a minute. You said that they would be stuck?” Sherman asks. “Isn’t that against some ethical code or something?” “I’ll make an exception for those good-for-nothing brats,” Matthew says. “Plus, they could get out eventually. Okay, try to get them in front of it, guys.” They struggle initially, and at one time, the fight seems lost, but Sabine joins in with her telekinesis, pushing Karl back. “I didn’t know you could do that,” Valiant says. “Neither did I,” she responds. As the team approaches a disoriented Karl, they are confronted by yet another towering creature, this time resembling a bear. Valiant turns to Stratus. “Can you get rid of that? Permanently this time?” Stratus nods, pokes the bear with a blast of fire, then follows it by way of an ice bridge all the way back to Dr. Blau, and promptly freezes both the doctor and his creation. The team eventually manages to get Karl in front of the Extraneous Thing. Melanie is a bit more difficult. At first, Sherman tries roughing her up a bit, but that doesn’t work because of her accelerated healing. “Was any of it real?” she asks between punches. Melanie is not even winded. “The way you fell for it was.” This enrages Sherman even more, and she kicks Melanie in the knee, giving her the opening to deliver a knockout blow to the head. Sabine brings her in front of the Thing, and Matthew sends them into the alternate dimension. Valiant says, “Does Sol have some secret telekinesis power that she doesn’t know about?” “It’s possible,” Sabine says. “We all have different abilities.” “We won’t tell her. She doesn’t need any more powers.” The group celebrates very enthusiastically at the Red Tiger. There was a lot of root beer involved. “So, this is what you do all day?” Daniel asks. “Yeah, I’mma pass.” “Usually, it’s a bit less high-stakes,” Humberto says, “but pretty much. I didn’t even do much. It was all Astra. Hell hath no fury like a lesbian scorned.” “And I didn’t even need powers,” Astra says. “All I needed was my team, taking care of Karl and the bad doctor for me. Speaking of, where is Ar— Stratus?” “She had to go back to the OC,” Tine says. “But she sends her regards.” “I was more impressed with Eleven over here,” Percy says, referring to Sabine. “I figured, if I was going out,” Sabine says, “I was gonna go out with a bang, or in this case, a push.” “Oh, you mean the Elsa girl,” Darren says. “But seriously,” Astra says, “I couldn’t have done it without all of you. Time bros, if not for you guys, we’d still be stuck in who knows where.” “Hey, it was all Valiant’s idea,” Tomás says. “Hear that?” Corinne says. “Maybe you do make a good leader after all.” “Maybe I do,” the redhead agrees. |
You know the drill. Scroll down for the earliest entries.
|