“When are they getting back?” Melanie asks at the Armory.
“I don’t know,” Corinne says. “Soon.” “Not helpful, Twister.” Corinne doesn’t bother to correct her. “I need a nice, blue-collar crime after last week,” Tomás says. “Yeah,” Corinne says. “No supernaturals, no explosions. One of those convenience store robberies would be pretty good right about now.” “Well, then you’re in luck,” Matthew says. “Someone just took a buttload of cream from the Deal Mart on 5th.” “A cream bandit?” Humberto says. “Is there anything sadder in 2023?” “Maybe they just like their cream,” Tomás says, and starts humming the bass guitar riff from “Sunshine of Your Love” by Cream. “Oh, no.” Corinne is confused. “What?” “He’s gonna make Cream puns the whole time.” They suit up, and find the cream bandit in the parking lot behind the Deal Mart. He didn’t get very far. He was transporting too much cream. “Sir,” Twist says. “You have to return those.” The cream bandit refuses. “You’re not the cops. I don’t have to listen to you.” Legend speaks up. “Sir, I know you wanted some fresh cream” — Timeless rolls his eyes — “but I have to ask you to take it back.” Timeless shakes his head. The bandit does too. “I will do nothing of—” “If we have to ask you a third time, you will be in a world of pain.” “I’m a black belt. Bring it on.” The three heroes fight and defeat the bandit. “You may be a black belt,” Timeless says, “but we trained with vampires.” “I didn’t,” Twist says. “Still, you can suck it.” “Was that really necessary?” “Sleepy time time,” Legend says. “Congratulations,” Matthew says at the Armory. “You took a thief off the streets and prevented a crisis in the local cream economy. You should be proud of yourselves.” “I do feel proud,” Tomás says. Humberto’s phone rings. He takes it in the corner. “Well, that’s not gonna last,” Melanie says. She gestures their attention to the computer, where a news report is covering a giant bug descending upon the local DiCenzo’s restaurant. “Oh, no,” Corinne says. “I don’t do bugs.” Humberto comes back. “Well, you’re gonna have to. Daniel’s in there right now.” “Can’t you two handle it yourselves?” “What if one of us is out of commission?” Tomás says. “Then we can’t time-travel. Don’t worry. I have a plan.” “Oh, dang it. You’re not supposed to be the logical one.” The field team arrives at the DiCenzo’s. “Oh, thank God,” Daniel says. “We’re gonna get you all out of here,” Timeless says, and starts leading people out. “Flyswatter,” Legend says. “What?” Twist asks. “Twist into a flyswatter. A big one.” “That’s your plan?” “Do you have a better idea?” She does so, and Legend keeps missing the meta, hitting the empty lot next to the restaurant. “We’re gonna destroy DiCenzo’s if we’re not careful.” “What’s this I hear about destroying DiCenzo’s?” Matthew chimes in via comms. “That’s my favorite pizza place.” “Nothing.” Timeless makes his way back to the restaurant. “Legend, this isn’t Beauty and the Beast. Stop dancing with your fork.” “It’s a flyswatter, I’ll have you know,” comes the response. “Well, whatever it is, it’s not working.” Just then, the sky opens up, and rain comes pouring down. The bug flees into the nearest enclosed space, which happens to be the now-empty DiCenzo’s. “That’s it.” “What’s it?” “This thing is an aphid. Aphids hate rain.” “So?” “So we get it out here, it should fly back to where it came from.” “And how do you propose we do that?” “Same thing you do with any animal. Get it mad.” “Okay, I’m gonna have it on record that you advised me to enrage the giant insect.” “On the record,” Matthew confirms. Legend hits the bug, and gets it outside into the rain, where it promptly turns to dust. All that remains is a computer chip with a mysterious “HB” emblem on it. “HB?” Matthew says. “That mean anything to anyone?” “How ‘bout it?” Tomás jokingly suggests. “There’s the Tomás I know,” Corinne says. “In any case we should be thankful for Taylor Swift.” “What?” “Pouring rain?” “Oh, you mean ‘Sparks Fly’?” Melanie says. “No. Pouring rain.” She starts scatting. “Yeah, rain.” “No, not you too,” Humberto laments. “And it’s ‘red,’ not rain.” “Pouring red? That doesn’t make any sense.” “I got it,” Matthew says. “Henry Blau.” “Dilbert’s favorite author?” “No. The other Henry Blau. He was a scientist. I think this bug was one of his experiments.” “I don’t like how you phrased that, ‘one of,’” Corinne says. “Yeah,” Melanie agrees. “There’s more of them?” “We need to get them here.” “They haven’t been answering my calls,” Tomás says. “Let me try,” Melanie says. “Astra won’t ignore me.” “You seem very confident about that,” Humberto says. Melanie makes the call, and moments later, Tine, Percy, and Astra appear. Humberto is impressed. “Okay,” Tine says. “Who put something in the wrong beaker?” “We heard about the scientist,” Percy says. “How was your trip?” Melanie asks. Astra hesitates. “It … was fine.” “Did you have a good time, at least?” “No. Yes. I had an average time. Excuse me. I have to use the bathroom.” She leaves. “Okay, was that weird to anyone else?” “It was weird,” Tomás says. “Can confirm.” “A new place, new scenery, new people to draw,” Matthew says. “Astra should be stoked.” Humberto gives him a look. “You know what I mean.” “I’ll talk to her,” Tine says. Tine catches up to Astra in the hallway. “Are you okay?” “Yeah. I’m okay,” Astra lies. “No, you’re not. What was that in there?” “So you know how Melanie and I are a thing?” Tine doesn’t, but says, “Sure.” “Well, I flirted with Ruth in the OC.” “Okay, that I didn’t know about. But it’s just some harmless flirting. What’s the problem?” “What if it wasn’t?” “What?” “What if I’m not as committed to Melanie as I thought I was?” “That’s ridiculous. I’ve seen the way you look at her. It was the suits. They activated our hormones or something.” “Right. That makes sense. I’m glad we had this talk.” “Happy to help.” Matthew comes up to them. “Girls, there’s another one.” Astra looks at the computer. “Is that a ragamuffin?” Humberto shakes his head. “Just say ‘cat.’” “But it’s so cute,” Melanie says. “It’s a little — giant — ragamuffin.” “It’s not cute,” Percy says. “It’s taking out buildings all across town.” Humberto takes out a bucket. “What are you doing?” Tomás asks. “Cats don’t like water, either,” Humberto says. “Right,” Tine says. “I’m not helping you with that.” “Be careful out there,” Matthew advises. “The Super Friends lost to a magic cat.” When they arrive, Timeless tries to dump the bucket on the ragamuffin, but it vanishes. No dust, no chip, no ragamuffin. “How am I supposed to go to band class like nothing happened?” Tine asks at school the next day. “They don’t know anything, you don’t know anything,” Percy says. “As far as we know, it was a VR stunt run amok.” “It was amok all right,” Corinne says. “I’m sorry about before,” Astra says. “That was weird.” “Yeah,” Melanie says, “it was.” “I did have a fun time in the OC. Maybe too fun, actually.” “What?” “I may have flirted with someone.” “So?” “It’s just that we’re … a thing.” “We’re not a thing.” Astra frowns. “Do you want us to be a thing?” “Very much.” “Okay, we can be a thing.” She kisses her on the cheek. A mysterious smell roams around and stinks up the band room at Wesaeec High, commonly known as Wes High. The blame is initially placed on freshman percussionist Stephen James, and people start calling him names that reference a famous actor. Of course, Tine was the real culprit, but since she had asked for a bathroom break, she had been effectively exonerated. One of the other percussionists seems to realize that Stephen couldn’t have done it, as he was in registration when it occurred. “It was you!” Arielle Scott accuses Tine loudly. “Me?! But I just got back from the bathroom!” “The scent took up residence long before you went to the bathroom,” Arielle points out. “As a matter of fact, the scent has been here for the entire rehearsal,” Sabine emphasizes with attitude. “I don’t think I like your tone,” Tine says. “Her tone is fine. It’s her nose that needs work. It was her!” accuses Stephen. “Seriously, Steve? We’ve already thrown the blame off of you,” Arielle reminds him. “But I think I know who it is!” he protests. “Tine, confess before I do something I’ll regret!” “It wasn’t me. I’m gonna call an expert to solve this once and for all.” “And who would that be? Your dog?” Arielle chides her. “You know I don’t have a dog,” replies Tine indignantly. “Excuse me.” A minute later, two familiar faces enter the rehearsal. “One expert, at your service,” Addie says. “Marvin! I’ve heard so much about you,” says Tine, like he is some lost cousin or something. “And Addie, long time no see,” Percy says. “Who’s Marvin? The name is Olfactory Man,” declares Marvin, still in his mask. “Whoa-ho-ho!” Sabine interrupts them. “You’re the guy that saved Team Tory in Absaroka.” “It was a team effort,” says Marvin. “And you’re modest, too?! This one’s a catch.” “Do we have a vamp in the house?” Marvin questions. Sabine reveals her fangs. “Guilty as charged. How did you know?” He points to his nose. “Also, no one says catch anymore, not in that context.” “For sure, for sure,” Sabine says. “Well, do what you came for,” Arielle prompts him. “We have a massive smell reverberating around the room. We need you to pinpoint it for us.” “Gladly,” says Marvin with that ever-so-slight hint of Marvin confidence, “but I’m sure it’s not as dramatic as you make it out to be.” “Oh, I’m sure it is,” counters Arielle in a highly cliché manner. “I’ll be smelling it for days.” “Source detected,” Marvin announces. “See? Told you he was an expert!” “Shut up, Tine. Who is it?” Arielle demands. “It was you!” Marvin points at Sabine dramatically. “Me? I told you I was innocent!” “I suspected even before my nose went to work,” Marvin continues, “because you were being too nice. No one is that nice, especially not a vampire. Believe me, you folk can be extremely mean. Anyway, I traced the smell to a certain pair of black leggings.” Sabine looks down, and says, “C**p! How did that happen?” “Sometimes it is an accident. Other times it is a sign.” “It’s probably a sign. Please excuse me.” “You are excused,” says Marvin, in a very Dilbert-like fashion. “Hold on. I’m detecting another smell. It’s a … cat?” Suddenly, the ragamuffin appears outside the door. “Addie, can you—” He makes a weird gesture with his hand. “He wants her to put gloves on it?” Tomás asks in disbelief. Addie changes into her suit and phases her hand through the ragamuffin, making it turn to dust as well. She catches the chip. Astra gasps. “You killed the cat!” “It wasn’t a real cat,” Marvin says. “Sometimes smells can lurk in plain sight, and strike when we least expect it. I will smell you at our next meeting.” He gestures to Addie, who is busy talking to a musician. “Addie! That was your cue!” “Sorry!” Addie says. “I’m just learning about Joyce’s love life.” “You can text her. I’ve got plans.” “But I didn’t get her nu—” Marvin drags her out, and the two depart. “Really? Your new friend?” Corinne chides Tine at the Red Tiger. “Any friend of this one is bound to have a wild side,” Matthew posits. “It wasn’t a wild side,” Percy points out. “It was an accident. A wild accident, nonetheless, but an accident.” “Oh, Percy, always the saint. Sometimes you just have to let people take the blame.” This was Astra. “When the Marauders win the Super Bowl,” he responds. As you might suspect, this means never. Astra is visibly dismayed. She turns around, only to have a knife to her throat. “We need to talk,” Arielle Scott says. “What the hell is your problem with us?” Tine asks. “Oh, I’ll tell you what my problem is,” Arielle responds. A flashback informs us that Arielle Scott was just ending the eighth grade when she was caught in the South Corner attack of 2019. Sol could have helped her escape to safety, but was “too busy” taking on Grayson. As a result, Arielle suffered a sprained ankle and fractured pride. “2019. South Corner. You and your team could’ve helped me, but you were too self-absorbed in your mission.” “She is dead wrong,” Percy argues over comms. “They were focused on saving the city. Not to mention that self-absorbed is completely the wrong word there.” Tine and Corinne turn him off as the latter relays his statement to Arielle. “That’s all you wanted? A chat? You’re not a villain?” Corinne asks incredulously. “Nope. I just wanted to see where you guys were coming from. You are free to go.” “We were free to go before. We don’t have to listen to you,” says Tine. “You’d better watch it, or I could become a villain again.” Their faces turn white with fear. “Kidding. See you in class tomorrow, Tine.” “Well, that experience was less than desirable,” Percy comments at the Red Tiger. “Yeah, unless you desire a bunch of fisticuffs on a Thursday night,” Astra agrees. “Fisticuffs?” Corinne asks. “Well, let's be glad that that didn’t happen,” Matthew proposes. “Did we ever find Dr. Blau?” Tine asks. “That's tomorrow's team’s problem.” Corinne raises her glass. “To the plan!” “To throwing away the plan!” Percy adds.
0 Comments
We open on a gas station convenience store, where a kid is trying to convince his mom to let him have some Ogre candy. “Come on, Mom. Just this once?”
The mom refuses. “There are so many healthier options here that you can choose?” “But it’s Ogre, Mom. Please?” “Fine. Just this once.” They buy the candy and go back to their house. As the kid opens the candy, we cut to the outside of the house as it promptly explodes. Team Valiant watches a news report of the explosion in the Armory. “And you said this was gonna be a quiet town,” Percy says. “I thought it was,” Tine replies. “In the past three weeks,” Astra says, “we’ve had a shifter, a crazed superfan, a criminal ice skater, and now this.” “Not to mention Portion,” Melanie says. “See? I’m not sure it’s the location that’s the problem.” “It’s me,” Humberto quips, “hi. I’m the problem, it’s me.” “Well, the problem is that we might have an amateur bombmaker on our hands,” Tine says, “and I have band practice to get to.” “Since when are you in band?” Tomás asks. “I figured that telling everyone about my secret vigilante extracurricular would be suspicious, so I used the Andante Symphony Band as my cover. Problem is, now I actually have to go.” “What instrument are you playing?” Corinne queries. “Please say something bad*ss like trumpet.” “Clarinet.” “Why?” “There’s a sort of elegance to the clarinet. I don’t have to explain myself to you. In the meantime, get working on this explosion. Percy, you take point.” “I can’t,” Percy says. “I have my internship, remember?” Tine nods. “Your big-time gig at Wilkinson Industries. Alright, Matthew and Corrine, you guys take point. You can work with WPD.” “Why can’t Astra take point?” Melanie asks. “Thank you!” Astra says. “You’re still coming into your powers,” Tine says. “We can’t have you drawing the green wire when it was supposed to be a red wire, and then boom.” “But we don’t have any leads,” Matthew says. “It’s winter. Look into large fertilizer purchases. Trust me. Geez, do I have to do everything around here?” At the Andante practice, Tine is surrounded by unfamiliar faces from all around the Wesaeec CSA. She refuses to let her guard down. As a result, not many of these faces come up to her. The ones that do, she is even more suspicious of. One person in particular, Sabine Chu, strikes Tine as overly friendly. She has pretty shoulder—length black hair and braces that cover some above average—sized teeth, and is clad in a black t—shirt, black jeans and weirdly blue NB shoes. Being a freshman, she is one year younger than Tine. She introduces herself. “Nice to meet you, Sabine. I’m Tine,” says Tine, and she shakes her hand. “Is that short for something?” Sabine asks cheerfully. “Photine,” Tine responds. “Never heard that name before. Your parents not like you?” “No, well, not at the time. It was a combination of their magic names. They were big Harry Potter fans,” replies a stunned Tine. “What do you mean, not at the time?” asks Sabine. Tine struggles to ascertain what this girl’s deal is. “We kinda had a falling out last year. I’m living with my aunt and uncle now.” “Oh. Sometimes my parents annoy me, too. I think we’re gonna be great friends.” Tine is not so sure. “Are you sure you haven’t had any weird fertilizer purchases?” Detective Nevill asks the local hardware store manager. “It’s winter. Any purchase would be suspicious. The ground is frozen for several months. Who are they?” the manager says, indicating Matthew and Corinne. “Oh, they’re from 5H. They’re shadowing me for some extra volunteer hours.” “Right. Why do you ask?” “Most fertilizers these days” — the manager looks at Matthew skeptically. What the hell do you mean, ‘these days’? — “contain trace amounts of ammonium nitrate.” “Ammonium nitrate, as in bombs,” Corinne adds helpfully. The manager’s demeanor changes. “You mean like that house that exploded? That poor family. You mean there’s another bomb out there?” “We don’t know for sure,” Nevill says. “We just have to cover all our bases.” She gives him a card. “If you do see anything, give me a call.” “I thought that would be more fruitful,” Matthew says. “I agree,” Corinne says. As they leave, Matthew spies a customer snagging a bag of Ogre candy at the checkout register. Percy gets out of his Uber at Wilkinson Industries. A sign reads, Wilkinson Industries. The future starts with a will. “Name?” The receptionist asks when he enters the building. “Johnson,” he says. “I’m the new intern.” “Second floor.” “Thank you.” He gets in the elevator, but there is no “2” button, just “1” and “3.” “Oh, very funny. Hazing the new guy.” He gets out. “I’ll just take the stairs.” “Stairs?” The receptionist is shocked. “This is a tech company, boy. There are no stairs. Don’t worry, our elevator guy’s the best in the biz.” “Right.” He gets back in the elevator and presses the button for “3.” “That’s weird, right?” Tine says at the Armory. “She just wants to be friends,” says Astra. “It pays to let your guard down,” Tomás tells her. “Really? Because I don’t have any money coming in,” Tine observes sarcastically. “Let’s make a bet,” Matthew proposes. “If you make another friend, I will pay you five bucks.” “All right. Deal.” He checks his wallet. “Oh, I don’t have any cash on me.” Humberto hands him a fiver. “Sometimes I wonder how you would survive in the wild.” “You know what’s weird?” Astra says. “Percy should be back here by now. He said he was getting off at 6.” “Gee, I hope nothing happened to him,” Melanie says. “He’s a wizard, right?” “He prefers the term sorcerer,” Tine says. “Whatever he is, I’m sure he can handle whatever Wilkinson Industries throws at him.” The elevator stops. “Okay,” Percy says. “Here’s to hoping that whoever made this thing goofed and they actually meant ‘2.’” The doors open to reveal not an office floor, but what looks like a very futuristic city, complete with flying cars and weird, asymmetrical white architecture. “What in the Minority Report?” Percy looks back for the elevator, which has disappeared. He checks his phone, which conveniently has no service. Narrowly avoiding a descending car, he finds a stranger on the street and asks him, “Excuse me, where am I?” “You’re in Eltopia, my dude,” the stranger says before starting up his hoverboard and leaving. “No, wait. How do I get back— Nevermind.” He spots a kid. “Excuse me, kid. Do you know how I can get back to Wilkinson Industries?” “Stranger danger!” The kid runs away. “D**n it to hell. Okay, Percy, you can do this. You’re a sorcerer. You just have to Jedi mind-trick someone into giving up some directions. It’s easy.” He spots someone. “Escuch—” What turns around is a very human-looking robot. “Greetings, fellow humanoid. How may I assist you?” A robot. They can’t turn me down. “I’m trying to get back to Wilkinson Industries.” “We don’t mention that name.” Well, so much for that. “I really need to get back there. Is there another elevator that I can use?” “I think I know someone who can help you. Come with me.” “I guess it was more I, Robot than Minority Report,” Percy mutters. “How may I assist you?” “Nevermind,” he says at normal volume. That afternoon, Tine approaches fellow bandmate Darren Siu, and tries to strike up a conversation. “So, you like sports?” “Which sports?” “Any. Whichever you like,” says Tine, scrambling from his follow—up question. “I like golf,” he responds. “How was the golf game last night?” Before Darren can tell her that golf doesn’t have games, but rather tournaments, Sabine steals her away. “Hi, Tine. How was your day?” “Fine, until you pulled me away from that conversation. I was gonna be his friend,” says an annoyed Tine. “Trust me, that conversation was going nowhere,” Sabine tells her, which was true. “Which is your favorite piece?” “Oh, I like ‘Joyful Meadow.’ It’s nice and peaceful.” “My favorite is ‘Sparrow’s Run.’ I like the different melodies coming together. Okay, bye, then,” says Sabine, and goes off to join her old friends from whatever town she resides in. Tine notices her rubbing the inside of her mouth as she leaves. “I’m telling you, she’s a vampire. First the clothes, and then the rubbing?” Tine proclaims at the Armory. “That’s exactly how Sol started out, with the clothes.” “I’m not so sure. We should call a specialist,” Astra ventures. “Wouldn’t we know? We’ve been around them for over a year now, some of us,” Humberto says. “Yeah, but the specialist has been studying vamps for longer. If anyone would know, it’s him,” the blonde insists. “Plus, her grammar was oddly formal,” Tine says, “as if she’s been around for a bit more than 14 years.” “That sounds like the specialist,” Astra wryly observes. “Fine,” Tomás relents. “But I won’t be the one to do it.” “Yeah. He hates telling anyone that he doesn’t know the answer. He would rather kill himself,” says Humberto. “Unfortunate choice of words,” Corinne says as she directs the group’s attention to the TV, which is covering a second explosion, this time in an apartment complex, ruling it an apparent suicide. “Wait. I know that guy,” Matthew says. “He was at the hardware store. He bought something. I remember because it was unusual. He bought a bag of Ogre candy.” “Oh, I love Ogres,” Melanie says. “Me too,” Astra says. “The commercials are horrible, but the candy is so good.” “You said Ogre?” Tine says. Matthew nods. “That name sounds familiar.” She takes out her phone. “Detective Nevill, didn’t you say you found an Ogre candy wrapper at the first explosion?” “Yeah,” Nevill says. “It was mostly rubble, but that ‘O’ is quite distinctive. We traced the mom’s credit card to a convenience store. Why? Do you have a lead?” “I just might. I’ll let you know if we need sirens. Thank you.” She hangs up. “It’s always the convenience stores, man,” Tomás says. “So who is this person who’s gonna help me get back?” Percy asks the robot. “He is one of the few who know the truth,” the robot responds. “That helps me not at all.” They enter a building, where the robot says to the receptionist, “We’re looking for James.” “Yep. James is in,” the receptionist says. “Optimal.” He leads Percy up the stairs. “James.” “Bob. What brings you here?” James says. “This gentleman was asking about getting back to Wilkinson Industries.” “Why the hell would you want to go there?” “I have an internship there,” Percy says. “I was actually looking forward to it, before all this happened. What is so bad about Wilkinson?” “Will you stop saying that name? Bob, can we take this outside?” “Certainly,” Bob says. “You didn’t tell me your name was Bob,” Percy says. “It was not relevant information.” “Wilkinson Industries is a contentious name around here,” James says once they are out of sight of the building. “I gathered that,” Percy says. “Why?” “He really doesn’t know?” Bob nods. “Know what?” “Eltopia was founded by Julian Ellison,” James begins. “He built it from the ground up using a new alternative fuel source he called Agile. But Wilkinson Industries somehow breached the dimensional gap and started s—” He is interrupted by machine gun fire. “You are a threat to the safety of Eltopia,” a larger, terrifying robot repeats over and over. “I was wrong again,” Percy says as the fearsome robot continues to drone about his status. “This is frickin’ Terminator.” “I do not understand this term, ‘terminator,’” Bob says. “No time,” James says. “Run!” They try to escape, but encounter several more Terminators and are forced to surrender. “Any luck finding the Ogre factory?” Tine asks the next day. “Nope,” Matthew says. “Ogre, along with several other brands, is owned by Jupiter. They have twelve factories all over the country. I don’t know which one produces Ogre.” “It’s too bad Astra can’t just draw the factory,” Humberto says. “I can’t—” Astra starts. “Can’t draw something you haven’t seen before,” Tomás says. “We know.” “I wish you could draw a dragon,” Humberto says. “That would be bad*ss.” Astra looks down at her phone. “Oh, yeah, I saw that on Games of Thrones,” she says intentionally to draw out the specialist. “I think you mean Game of Thrones,” says vampire specialist Dilbert Silvercloud. “Dilbert! It’s so nice to see you. How’ve you been?” Tine greets him. “Oh, fine. Just middle—aged superheroes and evil distant vampire cults. The usual,” he deadpans. “We have a problem that we think you might be able to help us with,” Astra tells him. “We think that Tine’s new music friend might be a vampire,” Matthew says. “Well, that is a serious accusation,” says Dilbert. “You’d better have evidence. But, Tine, you took up music? Good for you.” “Yep. I’m a clarinetist now.” “Huh. Not the instrument I would’ve pegged you for.” “What would you have pegged me for?” “A percussionist. You’re a wayward spirit, and you’re fiery, like me.” “I’m not sure that’s the term I would use,” Astra teases him. Tine takes the odd compliment. “Well, we just added a new percussionist, so they needed more woodwinds.” “I have formulated a plan,” Matthew announces. Corinne mimics a robot. “I have formulated plan. I am robot.” He ignores her. “Dilbert - as Max Greenwood - will infiltrate the practice, armed with his mind and his wand, which will be in his stick bag.” Dilbert holds up the stick bag. “Can we pick a different name?” Dilbert asks. “Why? You don’t like Max?” “Nope. No reason. Max is fine.” “Astra and I will be watching,” Tine says. “Should something go wrong, we will pull you out.” “I love this. Guest—starring on another adventure,” Dilbert says, referencing the two shows in the Toryverse. “It really broadens my horizons.” “When is he leaving? He gets on my nerves,” Corinne remarks. “When we reach a conclusion,” Dilbert declares, and Corinne groans. “Hi. I’m Max Greenwood, the new percussionist,” “Max” says to Tine and Sabine. “Wow! So many percussionists. They’re popping up like beavers in a field,” Sabine jokes. The other two chuckle. “So, what brings you to Andante?” Tine asks. “Well, I’ve always been a fan of walking, and I wanted to broaden my horizons,” he says cockily. “Oh my God, is that the only thing he says?” Corinne says with incredulity. “No; he said it to maintain his cover. You’re a hero; you should know about cover,” Astra chides her. “I’ve never had to pretend to be something I’m not,” Corinne responds. Astra rests her case. “Man, my teeth are really bugging me,” Sabine complains. “Braces, man,” ”Max” says. “I remember those days.” “That was less than two years ago!” Tine exclaims. “She doesn’t know that.” “I do now,” Sabine says. The rehearsal progresses. “I need to run that section again. I need the flutes, oboes, and clarinets at 11,” Mr. Odes commands. “Man, Mr. Odes is out for blood,” Sabine remarks. “Out for blood! That’s a sign!” says Astra over comms. “Stay calm,” Tine tells her. “We don’t know anything yet.” The Terminators bring Percy, James, and Bob to Julian Ellison’s rooftop office. “We found these insubordinates discussing forbidden matters.” “What forbidden matters?” Ellison is nonplussed. This obviously happens all the time. “Who’s the new guy?” “Wilkinson Industries.” “I just need to get back—” Percy starts, but Ellison interrupts him. “Why do you bring up that name?” “I have to get back there. My boss is probably worried sick.” “I know for a fact that’s not true. Paul Wilkinson only cares about one thing — himself. He stole my designs. All of them. The WilPhone, the WilMap, the WilPC — all mine. All property of Eltopia. But somehow, he breached the dimensional gap and took them. We still don’t know how he did it. You’re really from that other world?” “To me, you’re the other world.” “And you used their elevator?” “Yes. He was quite perturbed when it disappeared seemingly of its own accord,” Bob says. “I wouldn’t have used so many words,” Percy says, “but yes.” “Come on,” Ellison says. “I’ll show you the secret backup elevator he uses.” “All this practicing really sucks the life out of me,” the suspected vamp says after a half-hour of running and re-running the same few sections. “Ok, that’s it. I’m pulling out the big guns,” says “Max,” which puts everyone on edge. “What does that mean?” Corinne asks. He pulls out a knife, and stabs himself. The rehearsal stops. “Are you OK, Dilbert? Do you need a doctor?” Tine asks. “No doctor needed. I’ll save him,” says Sabine, and she begins sucking Dilbert’s blood. “I ... knew ... it,” says Dilbert between labored breaths. She licks the wound closed. “I knew you were one of them!” All eyes turn to Sabine, who denounces his claim, despite her fangs being extended and her face streaked with his blood. “On a totally unrelated note, I have to go. See you all Tuesday!” She departs abruptly. Tine and “Max” follow. “Why didn’t you tell us?” Tine asks. “Poor Dilbert had to stab himself to bring out the real you.” “Oh, it was nothing,” he claims. “I’ve done it before. Never fails.” “I’m here anytime you need me for Team Valiant heroics,” Sabine promises. “Wait, you know us?” Astra says. “Yeah, you’re the ones who saved the city from Portion two weeks ago and Kieran Moro last week. This guy is new. None of those heroes would be dumb enough to stab themselves.” “Rude, and I won’t be sticking around. I am needed back in Ocean City,” Dilbert says, matter-of-factly as always. “Wow! That’s far. How are you not jet-lagged?” Melanie says. “Magic,” says Dilbert. “And who might you be?” “Melanie. I’m new.” “Right. Now, I understand you had a series of explosions here.” “Yeah, we were looking for the Ogre factory,” Tine says. “Well, we’re pretty swamped back in the OC, but we put Orland on this. He traced Ogre to their factory in Greater Boston.” “At least it’s close,” Astra says, “but it’s still far.” “Right, which is why we’re gonna get there a little faster than the Acela Express.” “So this is the speedster we’ve heard so much about,” Matthew says. “Guilty,” Addie Quick says. “That’s quite a coincidence that our specialist happens to have a speedster girlfriend,” Corinne points out. “Oh, we’re actually not together anymore.” “Really?” Tine says. “What happened?” “We just weren’t right for each other,” Dilbert says. “Where’s Percy? We could use him on this, and I need him back in Ocean City for some magic stuff.” “He’s been busy with his internship at Wilkinson Industries,” Astra says. “Come to think of it, he hasn’t shown up to school for a few days.” “In our line of work, that could be problematic. Matthew, start a sear—” He is interrupted when Percy walks in. “What did I miss?” “So what exactly is the plan here?” Twist asks once they are outside the Jupiter factory. “We found a secret compound that Jupiter puts in all the Ogres to make them explode,” the Prestidigitator says. “So all we have to do is trigger all the Ogres here, before they can get out,” Valiant says. “That is where Fleet comes in.” “The rest of you will evacuate the workers while I will trigger the explosives,” Fleet says. “Matthew and Melanie will be on comms the whole time.” “And Sabine,” Sabine chimes in via comms. “But how will we get them out in time?” Thaumaturge asks. “The building has a panic room,” the Prestidigitator says. “Get them there,” Valiant says, “and have Twist shift into a shield for added protection.” “But what about the Ogres that are already out?” Sherman inquires. “I’ll do a perimeter sweep afterwards,” Fleet says. Sherman looks flabbergasted. “Of the world?” “Yep. Wouldn’t be the first time.” “That’s bad*ss.” “Thank you for what you did back there,” the Prestidigitator says. “What?” Sherman asks. “Giving me an entrance line. I tend to get nervous about meeting new people, so I appreciate it.” “We meet a lot of new people in this job.” “Yeah, but the one in purple usually does all the talking,” he says, referring to Promontory. “Who’s Melanie? You didn’t tell me about her. Why isn’t she here?” “Melanie is someone I wasn’t expecting to find. She’s sort of an adjunct member of the team at this point. We haven’t really put labels on it.” The team is able to evacuate the workers while Fleet takes out the Ogres. “No offense, Dilbert,” Addie says at the Armory, “but the next time you ask for a favor, it’d better be a bit less explosive.” “It’s a deal,” Dilbert replies. “Well, we’d better be getting back. Percy?” “Yeah?” he says. “We need you too. We could potentially be going up against a dark wizard. We need to be at full strength.” “Roger that.” “Can I come too?” Astra says. Dilbert is surprised. “I’m sorry?” “Can I come to Ocean City with you guys? I wanna see Sol and Vicky and all my old friends, and I can help. I have powers now.” “She does,” Tine confirms. “What kind of powers? Because we probably already have somebody,” Addie says. In response, Astra draws a computer, and a stunned Dilbert catches it. “Is … is that an AMD chip?” “Yeah, we don’t have that. Congratulations, kid.” “Yes!” Astra exclaims. “Will you be gone for long?” Melanie asks. “I’ll be back before you know it,” she promises. “I’m gonna hold you to that.” “Brace yourself,” Fleet advises. “What? Why—” Astra is cut off as they speed away. “What the hell, Tine?” Humberto says at the Red Tiger. “You adopted another one?” “I wasn’t trying to,” Tine says. “It just sort of happened. And she volunteered.” “She certainly has the stuff, saving Dilbert like that,” Tomás says. “That was crazy!” Matthew remarks. “I didn’t suspect her at all.” “The signs were all there. We just had to piece the puzzle together,” Humberto says. “And who better than Dilbert Silvercloud, the greatest puzzle solver of our time?” Tomás asks. “To Dilbert!” Tine says, and they all raise their glasses and then drink from them. “I still don’t like him,” Corinne remarks. “You don’t like them, do you?” Officer Sally Nevill says. “The vigilantes.”
“It’s not about me liking them,” Captain Pembroke says. “They took Portion off our hands,” Nevill points out. “Yeah, that’s a huge amount of paperwork that they now have to do,” Officer Mansfield, the sleepy one, feels the need to point out. “Paperwork? Why is it always about paperwork with you?” Nevill questions him. “Paperwork. You forgot to turn in your paperwork,” says Mansfield in his best impression of Roz from Monsters, Inc. “And the worst part is, I did turn in my paperwork. I do,” says Sally, with obvious chagrin in her voice. “We can’t trust them,” Detective Garvey states matter-of-factly. “Remember South Corner? No? How about Fladdermusvarg? These could’ve been avoided if vigilantes hadn’t existed in the first place.” “That’s not true. Anita Grayson would still have attacked South Corner, and Fladdermusvarg was a powder keg. Anything would have set it off. And there would be no one to stop them,” points out Sally, with much more reason. “And what about the countless other metas that plague both Ocean City and our own streets? We would be majorly inconvenienced if it weren’t for the vigilantes,” says Officer Negroni. “Oh, Negroni, you’ve always had a soft spot for the heroes ever since Promontory saved your niece’s life at South Corner,” says Officer Brian Peralta, an ambitious young recruit who has evidently established a rapport with Officer Negroni. “Peralta, that’s enough,” says Captain Pembroke sternly. “What do you think, Ricci?” The new recruit is hesitant to answer. “He doesn’t know. He only got this job because he had been volunteering at parades, and you saw him interrogate that skater, Armand Lee,” posits Garvey, ever the debater. “I got this job because of my merits,” Officer Ricci assures him, “and it’s Fire God. I think that the vigilantes should be welcomed into the city with open arms. They do so much for us, and we do so little for them in return.” “Well put, Officer Ricci,” says Pembroke, and Ricci smiles slightly. “Do so much? It doesn’t matter how much they do, if we could do it ourselves,” declares Garvey. “Could you take down a crazed robot-fang person in Downtown?” Ricci retorts. “I could, if I had the right tools and enough prep time.” “Oh, Batman over here thinks he can defeat anyone if he has enough prep time,” Peralta remarks with a sneer. “Well, I got news for you, Garvey,” Mansfield says. “You don’t have the tools. You don’t have superpowers. If you went up against Portion, you would die — and you would die hard. Yippee-ki-yay, motherf—” “If you finish that sentence, I’m putting you on probation,” Pembroke warns. Everyone in the room turns silent, except for Ricci, who clacks at his computer as he feverishly tries to finish his online report. “This all sounds like it came out of a telenovela. Armand, Kieran, Andy. AKA Telenovela,” says Officer Nevill. “Yeah, or that one detective show,” Ricci says. “I can’t remember the name.” “Nevill, you’re a writer. You should write a TV show about that,” remarks Garvey sardonically. Nevill glares at Mansfield. “I would, actually, but I’m too busy doing my paperwork.” “Don’t look at me, I’m just doing my job,” Mansfield tries to feign innocence. He fails miserably. “All right, back to work, everyone,” orders Captain Pembroke, and everyone obliges. The camera pans to Team Valiant, who is watching transfixed in the Armory as the AKA Telenovela scandal occurs on live television. “I can’t believe someone would have the audacity to do something like this,” Tine declares dramatically. “I know, especially after that time in the ‘90s with those other skaters,” Astra points out insightfully. “Yeah, like in that movie,” Matthew avers her, and everyone glares at him. “Those events actually happened, Matthew,” says Corinne once she stops glaring. “Yeah, that’s why they say Based on a True Story,” adds Percy. “But sometimes when they do that,” Matthew says, “it isn’t actually based on a true story.” “Where? Where have you seen that?” “I can’t remember, to tell you the truth,” says Matthew sheepishly. Percy gives him a look. See? The scene cuts to a few days later, when the team is hanging out at the Red Tiger. “Guys, look at this,” implores Astra. “Really? Known assaulter and cryokinetic Kieran Moro escaped?!” asks Tine with incredulity. “Just when I think we’ve caught a break,” says Humberto. “There are no breaks for us,” Tomás says. “You should know that by now.” “Crime never sleeps,” says Matthew in his best Batman impression, “and neither should we.” “Just to be clear, we should still maintain appropriate sleeping habits,” Percy clarifies. “Not what I meant, Percy.” “We need a plan. Meet at the Armory in 15,” orders Tine. “Mansfield, you are getting on my last nerve,” Pembroke says. “Why?” Mansfield says. “What did I do?” “Moro escaped,” Garvey says. “How is that my fault?” “You put him away.” “The skater?” Nevill asks. Pembroke nods. “We’re gonna need a soundtrack for when we arrest him,” Mansfield says. “Something classical-sounding. Peralta, what’s that Britpop song you like?” “‘Bitter Sweet Symphony,’” Peralta says from the other end of the room. “You know,” Ricci says, “I’ve never liked the term ‘Britpop.’ Or ‘Latin,’ for that matter. We don’t call it ‘American’ or ‘Ameripop.’ There’s no ‘Canadapop,’ either. It doesn’t make sense.” “I don’t care for Latin music very much,” Garvey says. “Yes, you do,” Mansfield says. “You like that alarm clock song. I heard you listening to it on the radio.” “What alarm clock song?” Mansfield starts singing — or humming, I guess you would say — “El Sonidito” by Hechizeros Band. “Oh,” Garvey says, “that one.” “That song has no substance. It’s just noise.” “It’s fun. First you’re negligent on the job, and now you attack fun? It’s a wonder you’ve lasted this long.” “Let’s go,” Pembroke says. “I’ll call Negroni, have her meet us there.” “And if any vigilantes get in my way, I will not hesitate to shoot them.” “Yes, you will. We do not discriminate at the WPD.” “Then let’s hope they don’t get in my way.” Peralta, still away from everyone else, looks in the break room fridge. “Anyone know what happened to my yogurt?” They meet at the Armory, and begin to discuss plans to combat Moro. “What do we know?” Melanie asks. “We know that you’re not technically on the team,” Percy says. “I would’ve thought that, after everything we went through last week, I would’ve earned a spot on the team. Wouldn’t you agree, Matthew?” “That’s not up to me to decide,” Matthew says. “Tine?” “We know that he has a bat, but we have something better,” Tine says eagerly. “As a matter of fact, we have three things.” She taps her shoe and takes out the stripes. Everyone nods in approval. “Guess this will be easier than we thought,” says Astra thoughtfully. Tine’s phone dings. “Oh, hold on. I gotta take this.” “What could be more important than this?” Tomás asks. “Who was it?” Corinne says. “Remember when I said I had the WPD on speed dial? I have to do some official police business.” “Now?” Humberto says. “If we want to get in the WPD’s good graces, we have to take whatever they give us. Now, I need one of you to come with me.” “I’ll do it,” Melanie says. “Anyone but you.” “Consider this my audition. If it goes well, I can be on the team.” “If not, you’ll stop hounding me?” “Promise.” “Fine. Let’s go. Humberto, you take point on Moro.” “Joy,” Matthew says over comms once the field team gets into position. Thaumaturge is confused. “Sadness.” “No, Joy is a movie that says it’s based on a true story, but really isn’t. It’s almost entirely made-up.” “Really? That’s what you’re thinking about right now?” “Focus,” Timeless says. “Moro should be here any second.” Narrator’s voice: It was not easier than they thought. Since his breakout, Moro had acquired not only another bat so that he can go all Darth Maul on any assailant, but a crew to back him up. All five members were armed to an alarming point. I won’t say armed to the teeth because they remained human and lacked any dental implants. Still, they were difficult to contend with, especially with the cops there, too. “What the hell are they doing here?” Legend asks. “Nevermind that,” Twist says. “Why is that one shooting at us?” “Shield people, we could use some shields here,” Thaumaturge says. “Did I mention how much I hate guns?” Matthew says over comms. “Yeah, you mentioned it,” Sherman says as she draws a shield and manifests it. Twist transforms herself into a shield. “What is that music?” “Bitter Sweet Symphony” plays as we hear Negroni from our heroes’ POV. “Garvey, don’t do this.” “I have to,” he says. However, his firing at Team Valiant allows Moro and his crew to lose Pembroke and Mansfield. Eventually, Garvey hits one of the shields, forcing a wounded Twist to put up her hands in surrender. The others do the same. We open on Garvey and Negroni, standing opposite a seated Humberto and Tomás in an interrogation room. “Do you kids have any idea how much trouble you’re in?” the former says. “Why are we in trouble?” Tomás asks. “We didn’t do anything.” “Tomás, shut up,” Humberto whispers. “We were only trying to help.” “Tomás, shut up,” he repeats, slightly louder this time. “If you wanted to help,” Garvey says, “you should’ve just stayed at home with your video games and your clock app.” “Clock app?” Negroni says. “I don’t know what it’s called.” “I said I’d be watching you, Mr. Johnson,” Captain Pembroke says in another room. “Which I still think is illegal to say to a child as an officer of the law,” Percy points out. “Don’t lecture us about what’s illegal,” Mansfield says. “Oh, can it, sleepy dwarf,” Astra says. “Let me tell you about a little thing called obstruction of justice,” Pembroke says. “I’m familiar with the concept,” Percy says. “In fact, I would argue that you guys were obstructing our operation.” “Oh, the attitude on you two. You’re lucky, Mr. Johnson. I don’t want the press all over this. Ms. MacKenzie, I suggest you get real familiar with this station.” “Say goodbye to your little friend,” Mansfield quips as they leave. “D**n. And I thought Dilbert’s references were outdated,” Astra says. “Thanks for patching me up,” Corinne says, “Officer—” “Nevill,” Nevill says. “It’s no problem. Ever since Garvey found out I went to med school, he gives me all the idiots who would prefer to sue the WPD over actually healing.” “Oh, I’m not going to sue. I realize that my chosen extracurricular has some dangers associated with it.” “Extracurricular, huh? Is that what you’re calling it these days?” “I take it you know us.” “You and your friends are kind of a hot topic around here.” “Good or bad?” “Depends on who you talk to.” “And who am I talking to?” “We’re a small town. Most of our revenue comes from tourism. And that’s taken a big hit in the past couple of years, not entirely because of the crime rate, but not not because of it, either. So any way we can get that down, I’m for it. I just wish my colleagues would see it that way.” “Do either of you know anything about where Moro could have gone?” Negroni asks. “Why are you asking them?” Garvey says. “They’re suspects. For all we know, they were working with him.” “We’re not working for him, Damage Control,” Humberto says. “We don’t know where he went,” Tomás says. “We were following him, but then your coworkers lost him.” “Alright,” Garvey says derisively. Negroni leans close to Garvey, whispering. “Do you think we should bring her in?” “You think it’s time?” “I don’t think we have much of a choice.” “I’ll tell the captain. She won’t be happy about it.” “It’s not Pembroke you have to worry about.” “What are you talking about?” Humberto asks. “Who’s ‘her’?” They leave without answering. “Bunch of pricks,” he mutters. “Wait,” Corinne says as Nevill removes her handcuffs. “You’re letting me go?” “Shh! Lower your voice,” Nevill says. “But yes. As far as I’m concerned, all you did was defend yourself. If it were up to me, I’d let you all go.” “Thank you.” “Now, do your polymorph thing and go.” “Poly-what?” “Aren’t you the Twist-Tie or something?” Corinne chuckles. “Just Twist.” “Well, then twist into something. Preferably something that could leave unnoticed, like a sheet of paper in the wind.” “Good idea. Wait, Tine? Melanie?” “Corinne?” Tine looks around to see Humberto and Tomás in the other room. “What are you guys doing here?” “Oh, it’s no big deal. We just got arrested. What are you doing here? I thought you’d be going undercover or something.” “Yeah. Turns out the ‘official police business’ is a lot more boring,” Melanie says. “Wait, back up,” Tine says. “You got arrested?” “Hey, Valiant, focus,” Officer Peralta says. “Right.” She sighs. “When was the last time you saw your yogurt?” “Right here.” “And can you think of anyone who would want to steal it?” “Unfortunately, yes. It’s key lime pie-flavored, so it’s kind of a hot commodity.” “Okay,” Melanie says. “Is there anyone you can rule out?” “Garvey’s out. He hates sweets. It’s probably Negroni. She’s always trying to get one over on me. We have this sort of playful rivalry thing. Or it could be Ricci. He looks like he appreciates good yogurt.” “This is going to take longer than I thought,” Valiant laments. The elevator door opens, and a woman enters. Dressed in jeans, sunglasses, and a black leather jacket to match her hair, she looks like she should be passed out on a park bench somewhere, not a cop. “Monica Moss. Long time no see,” Garvey says. “That’s Detective Moss to you,” Moss says. “Not anymore,” Pembroke says. “Thanks for coming, Monica.” “Oh, it’s Stumptown,” Humberto says from the interrogation room. “That’s the reinforcements they called?” Tomás says. “We’re doomed.” “So,” Moss says, “Garvey tells me you have a hero problem.” “A vigilante problem,” Garvey corrects. “Yes,” Pembroke says. “We were hoping you could get them off of our hands.” “What exactly did they do that was so heinous?” Moss says. “We were about to catch Moro,” Garvey says, “before they attacked him—” “It sounds to me like they were just trying to help.” “They were interfering in an active investigation.” “Let me talk to them.” “I’m not sure if that’s wise—” Moss cuts him off. “Captain?” “Let’s go,” Pembroke says. “They’re in rooms 1 through 3.” “Can we get them all in the same room?” “It’ll be a little crowded, but sure.” “And, Captain, do I have full authority to resolve this situation how I see fit?” “That’s absurd,” Garvey says. “You’re a consultant—” “Yes,” Pembroke says. “You have full authority.” “Thank you.” Moss spies Nevill. “Sally.” “Monica!” Nevill says. Moss puts two fingers to her heart. Nevill returns the gesture. “Is this everyone?” Moss says. “They took Corinne off separately,” Percy says. “We haven’t seen her.” “They shot her,” Astra says. “Who shot her?” Moss asks. “I don’t know his name,” Tomás says. “The one who looks like he went to an Ivy,” Humberto says. “Garvey,” Moss says. “Of course. That tracks. So, let me get this straight. You were trying to make a citizen’s arrest, and then they fired on you and arrested you and not this Moro guy. Well, the way I see it, the WPD has no legal right to hold you here. But knowing Garvey, he’s gonna find some bulls**t charge to keep you another day. Or more. And this Moro case is a very time-sensitive one, so we can’t have that happen. Come on.” She leads them out. “Why are you being so nice to us?” Percy says. “I was like you once. Young. Idealistic.” “Then what happened?” Astra says. “Life happened.” They get to the door, where Nevill is coming in. Moss puts two fingers to her heart. Nevill does the same. “Thanks, Sally. I owe you one.” “Where are the suspects?” Garvey asks. “I don’t know who you mean,” Moss says. “Oh, you mean the heroes. I let them go.” “You let them—” “The Captain gave me full authority.” “That doesn’t trump American law.” “Actually, since you shot one of them, you’re the one who’s legally in the wrong here.” “I told you not to do it,” Negroni says. “But you never listen to me.” “I don’t need some P2 telling me how to do my job,” Garvey says. “I don’t want to step in the middle of whatever this is,” Moss says, “but even if you hadn’t done that, you have no legal authority to hold them.” She walks off. “No legal authority? They interfered in an active— Don’t walk away. Captain, tell her to get back here.” “Monica doesn’t work here anymore,” Pembroke says. “From what I’m hearing,” Valiant says, “this Negroni seems like the most likely culprit.” “The question is,” Melanie says, “how do we get her to confess?” “I might have an idea,” Peralta says. “And it’s pretty genius, let me tell you.” He goes over to Negroni’s desk and takes her stapler. We cut to a few seconds later, when Peralta has taken all of the staplers on the office floor. “This is your genius idea?” Valiant says in disbelief. “Now she’ll have to go down to booking in order to staple something. And everyone knows booking hates it when you use their staplers.” “Really?” Melanie asks. “Everyone?” “It’s a known thing,” Ricci chimes in. “You’re a known thing.” Negroni marches up to Peralta. “Give it back.” “Tell me you took my yogurt.” “Give it back. Now.” “Say it.” “Well, Office Land, here I come.” “D**n it. I didn’t think about that.” Negroni starts to walk towards the elevator. “We can’t let her leave,” Melanie says. “We need to do something fast. Isn’t there a speedster you can call?” Valiant takes out her phone. “Addie, I need a favor.” Seconds later, she throws a spike at Negroni not to wound, but to disorient, and the cop lands face first on a fluffy mattress. “Now will you admit it?” “Fine,” Negroni says. “It was key lime. I’d never heard of that flavor before. I was curious.” “Ask next time.” “Ricci asked. You told him no.” “I was just hazing him. Isn’t that right, boot?” “I don’t like you,” Ricci says. “The feeling’s mutual. But I do like my new friends here. I’m gonna put in a good word for you and your friends with the captain.” “We appreciate it, Officer Peralta,” Valiant says. Peralta offers his hand. “Call me Brian.” “How are we going to take him down?” Astra asks as the team watches news of Moro attacking another skating rink in the Wesaeec combined statistical area (WCSA) — there is a good amount relative to the amount of people that use them regularly. “Well, he likes ice, doesn’t he?” Percy reasons. “We can get Ariana to counter his ice using heat-kinesis while Tine goes in for the kill,” Matthew posits. “We can’t rely on Ariana to solve all our problems,” Humberto says. “Yes, we can,” Astra says. “If there’s anything I learned as a prepubescent art thief, it’s that you have to use any and all resources at your disposal. Plus, she’s hot.” The blonde quickly realizes her mistake. “I meant her powers. Her heat-kinesis, like you said. You know what I mean. Don’t tell Melanie I said that.” “You’re not wrong,” Tomás says. “But we aren’t killing anybody,” Astra says with a slight tremble in her voice, “because Sherman will counter Moro and his crew with paint-based weapons to back up Valiant.” “Oh, our fate hinges on Astra’s paintball skills. We’re doomed,” Percy grumbles. “Is that a challenge?” “I don’t know. What would you do if it were?” Percy responds, slightly scared. “Challenge accepted!” she thunders. “And that’s what I was afraid of.” “Meet me at WesPollock at 10 on Saturday,” she orders the group, “and we’ll need an eighth. Anyone have any ideas?” “I got a guy,” Tine says. It turns out, Dylan was the eighth, and he joins Tine, Humberto, and Percy against Astra, Corinne, Tomás and Matthew. “So are we gonna have a team meeting first, like a huddle or—” He is interrupted when Astra opens fire. “Oh, Miss Larceny came to play.” At the beginning, Tine’s team uses their superior aim to knock out Corinne and establish dominance (“Not even steel can hold up when it’s being pelted from four sides”). Astra later uses her knowledge of art-based weapons to knock out Dylan (“And it’s Sherman!”) and Matthew, but is taken out by Percy (“Desarmo!”). “You can’t use magic,” Astra says. “That’s cheating.” “Yeah, that’s cheating,” comes the response. “Looks like it’s just you and me,” Tine declares. A cry of “You might take my life, but you may never take my freedom!” is heard as Percy tumbles into the field, knocking out Tine with a well-placed shot. “Well, I guess it’s just me, then.” Just then, Percy gets hit. “People have got to stop assuming things,” Humberto says. “Don’t you agree?” Tomás gets him. “I do. Sorry, buddy. It had to happen.” “I want a do-over.” “That’s not how paintball—” “I don’t care. Do-over.” “Fine.” They go back in time, and return to the same place. “You still lost.” “How are you guys so good at this?” “We have an artist and a CompSci kid on our team. Creative minds.” “And then there’s you.” “Very funny. I still beat you.” “We need a rematch.” “You just had one. But I’d be happy to beat your a** again. Next week.” They shake hands. Sherman convinces everyone of her paintball plan, and they put it into action against Moro. Valiant takes point on Moro, while Sherman plays live paintball and has Twist and Thaumaturge on the sculpting — they throw sculpture pieces in the air at just the right points so that they assemble and place their full weight on an assailant. “Give up! You’re outnumbered and outgunned!” Moro yells. “Never!” Valiant says, together with Matthew over comms. “No one told me we were playing paintball,” he declares after the battle progresses. “I would’ve brought my vest.” “Fat lot of good a vest will do,” Thaumaturge yells. “What are you, British? ‘Fat lot of good’?!” Moro says. The teen wizard has no time to answer, though, because he is pelted with a throwing weapon from the other side and forced to retreat. Luckily, the police arrive, having been called in by Matthew. “Captain Pembroke. I thought you didn’t like us?” Valiant says. “Someone” — she points to Mansfield — “opened my eyes to all the good you heroes do for the city.” “She forced the rest of us to come,” says Garvey drily. “Yeah, I was still doing paperwork,” Mansfield adds. “No, you weren’t. You were pretending to, but you were actually writing your shopping list. I saw you,” Nevill reveals. “You’ll never defeat me,” Moro declares, “because you don’t have the power of revenge!” “You’re right, we don’t, but we have the power of justice,” says Thaumaturge. Matthew says, “Man, that was so cheesy, but I loved it.” Moro says, “I’ll escape again. You haven’t seen the last of me!” angrily as he is being led away. “We will assist you anytime,” promises Captain Pembroke. “Reluctantly,” Garvey adds. Nevill glares at him. The team celebrates at the Red Tiger. “That was awesome, the way you jumped at Moro with all you had, and penetrated his armor,” says Corinne. “How about you two on the sculptures? That stuff isn’t easy,” Matthew says. “It was a real Leipzig moment,” says Percy, referencing the famed airport battle from Captain America: Civil War. “To Leipzig!” Astra toasts. “To Ant—Man!” Percy adds. “To us!” Tine concludes, and they all drink their beverages. “So?” Melanie says. “Am I on the team?” “That was a good idea you had with Fleet. You know what? Why not.” “Yes!” “I never doubted you for a second,” Astra says. “This all sort of did play out like a telenovela,” Tomás says. “Crushes, adversaries turning out to be allies, everything working out in the end.” “What do you mean, ‘crushes’?” Melanie says. “Nothing,” Astra says. “He was just talking about how I crushed the third guy under a pile of bricks. Andy, I think his name was.” She whispers to Tomás, “We don’t talk about that, remember?” “You know,” Humberto says, “you can’t just adopt every teen you meet and put them on the team.” “Yes, I can,” Tine says. “Watch me.” “Did you even have a vetting process?” Tomás asks. “Melanie passed a very thorough vetting process. She helped me solve the case of the missing yogurt.” “I’m not even gonna ask,” Humberto says. “Okay,” Corinne says at the Armory, “can someone tell me why we’re surveilling the Wild Hogs?”
“For the last time,” Matthew says, “they’re not the Wild Hogs. The squad goes by the name Molesicletas, and—” “Ew,” Astra says. “That’s their real name?” “It means something different in Spanish,” Tine says. “Okay, if anyone else has a stupid question, it will be their last,” Matthew says. “Anyway, one of the squad members has ties to Wesaeec, so we’ve been monitoring them in case they decide to return. However, one of them has just hopped onto a plane headed to the country of Herbovia.” “Oh, I’ve heard of that place,” Astra says. “Um,” Percy says, “shouldn’t it be ‘(H)erbovia’?” He pronounces the word with a silent h, like herb. “Yep, shutting up now.” Matthew continues. “An island off the coast of Western Europe, it boasts a good amount of Spanish speakers and political insurgency to rival that of 1930s Spain.” “Good thing we have these two, then,” Tine says, indicating Humberto and Tomás. “I don’t anticipate any time travel, but given that our missions rarely go according to plan, yes, your presence would be much appreciated.” “Wait,” Humberto says, “we’re not required to come?” “Yeah, I thought that this was mandatory,” Tomás says, “just like every other mission.” “This one is different,” Tine says. “We’re going overseas. We won’t know the terrain. Our enemies will be at an advantage.” “They usually are,” Humberto says. “I’m in.” “Me too,” Tomás says. “Never been out of the country before. Should be fun.” “Tell us about this ‘political insurgency,’ as you call it,” Tine says. “Wouldn’t want to be caught on the wrong side of a guillotine.” “A guillotine doesn’t have sides,” Corinne says. “The loyalist side,” Matthew says, “whose militant wing is the Herbovian Liberation Force, or HLF, desires to rejoin the monarchy of Spain, claiming that they are ‘imprisoned’ by increasing debts and unemployment. They are opposed by the Authority for the Preservation of our Rightful Land, or APRiL. APRiL is supported by the southern part of the country, while HLF gets most of its backing from the north. Northern Herbovia is also noted for its conservatism and subsequent lack of support for progressive policies that have been adopted the world over. It’s almost like a whole other country.” “Sounds like Ireland,” Corinne says. “There are some similarities. Okay, here are your tickets. Have fun.” “Wait,” Astra says. “You’re not coming?” “As much as I’d love to visit my ancestral homeland, my passport is expired.” “Plus,” Percy says, “it’s RobotGridiron night.” “What did I say?” “It wasn’t a question.” “Gah. Someone has to stay here. It might as well be Percy and I. I’ve told you everything you need to know. You’ll be fine. If you have any technical issues, you have my number.” “Matthew?” “Yes?” “It’s ‘me and Percy.’” “What?” “Earlier. It’s the predicate of the sentence, so it’s ‘me and Percy,’ not ‘Percy and I.’” “Do you want me to go with them?” Percy shakes his head. The team journeys to Herbovia on a commercial airline, AlisonAtlantic. The airline, a subsidiary of a known European low-cost airline, was established fairly recently in the aviation world, and is known for its conveniently low fares for decent service and seats. “You good up there?” Tine asks. “Need to switch?” “Nope,” Humberto says. “Ten-four, boss,” Tomás says. Tine turns to Astra and Corinne. “How about you guys? Any complaints?” “I’m fine,” Astra says. “I’m excited to travel to exotic lands with my best friends.” “I’m okay, but the flight attendants got to their seats too slow,” Corinne says. Tine responds, “First of all, that would be slowly. And second, we should be coming up with a battle plan for the MSCs. Yes, that’s what I’m calling them.” “Thought there was only one,” Humberto observes astutely. “Yes, but I am assuming that he’s gonna meet up with his friends in the H—B. And yes, that’s what I’m calling this country.” “It’s nice. One fewer syllable,” Astra compliments him. “Bloody lazy, you lot,” Tomás says, in a horrible British accent. “What’s wrong with you?” Tine asks. “Me?” Astra says. “Yes, you. You’re a lot more chipper than usual.” “I may have an ulterior motive for coming on this mission. Have you ever heard of the old show Acquainted with the World?” “Yes, and the fact that you called it old makes me want to take a spike to the heart.” “Do you remember the Ireland episode in season 4?” “I don’t. You said season 4?” “They moved it to a new network, and marketing was terrible. But anyway, when they went to Ireland, Miley realized something about herself that she hadn’t considered before.” Humberto turns around. “I don’t think that’s something that you can force, Astra.” “I can try.” “Are you saying what I think you’re saying?” Tine asks. Astra nods. “I’m gonna have my foreign gay awakening.” “That … sounds wrong,” Corinne says, “but we support you. Just don’t get in our way.” “Uh, excuse me?” Tine says. “Who’s the newbie here? How about you don’t get in our way?” They touch down, and pretend to be tourists, obtaining a taxi in the form of a 7-seater Bbandold Vanderbilt. The driver asks, “Aren’t you lot a bit underage to be purchasing a taxi?” In response, Tine pulls out a shoe spike and says, “So? You gonna drive us or not?” “Where to,” he relents, “determined riders?” “Tallister,” says Astra from the backseat. “Come on, Percy,” Matthew says. “It’s gridiron time.” “Coming,” Percy responds. Meanwhile, Matthew and Percy are sitting in the Armory living room, watching their favorite TV show, RobotGridiron. The show consists of glorified robots taking part in boxing—like matches of prowess. One of their favorite robots from last season, Portion, was making its highly anticipated debut in this episode. The robot, which fits in the “crusher” category, consists of a single fang—like primary weapon that towers above and then comes down upon its opponents, separating them into portions. Occasionally, it gets stuck to them, as they would find out tonight. They watched the fight, and found it anticlimactic, because of the above. “Man, not much of a debut, huh?” Matthew and Percy turn around to see Melanie. “How did you get in here?” She holds up her knife, causing both boys to recoil. “Breaking and entering. Kidding! Astra gave me the passcode. God, you should’ve seen your faces. You really shouldn’t post everything you do on social media. Every Instagram story has a location attached to it that you can track.” “You posted about this?” Matthew asks. Just then, some chatter is heard from the main room. The team goes on a Maroon Taxi ride in order to get a little more context on the insurgency. “Tallister,” the driver says, “is where the center of the conflict between the HLF and APRiL lies. It was here that the riots first broke out during the Bothers” — Tine and Humberto share a look — “in the mid-twentieth century, and it is here that the insurgents” — more looks — “would try to provoke a rehash of the long and costly war.” Satisfied, they find some of Dilbert’s relatives in a phone book (much to Tine’s chagrin) and hole up. “How lovely to see you! We haven’t seen Dilbert in ages, much less any friends of his,” one of the relatives, Siobhan, says. “You are very welcome here,” says the other, Taodg, “as long as you don’t mention that bloody American football stuff.” “I apologize for him,” says Siobhan sincerely. “He was raised to be forthright.” “Ah, a fellow Gryffindor,” says Humberto. “Respect.” “It’s not real football,” Taodg mutters as he leaves the room. “10-32, all units—” “Is that a police scanner?” Melanie asks. “Yeah,” Matthew replies. “How else am I supposed to find crimes? I don’t have the Torycave’s fancy satellites.” “It’s the Summit,” Percy says. “Should be the Torycave,” Melanie says. “It’s more bad*ss.” “Oh, great,” Matthew says. “What?” “Ever since Promontory came out, the police have been hyperfixated on supposed ‘vampire sightings.’ Judging by this description, they won’t treat this case any different.” “But we know better,” Percy says. “If this meta were to share the properties of Portion, wooden stakes would do little good against it.” “Suit up,” says Percy dramatically. “We move out in 5.” A pause. “Oh, wait. Guess it’s just me. We move out in 0.” After they are shown to their rooms (yes, Siobhan and Taodg have more than one guest room), Matthew complains, “You can’t say the word ‘respect’ and have it be a complete sentence. Percy says, “It is totally possible.” The door between them morphs into Corinne. “Shut up.” Corinne uses her powers to distort into a mural, the likes of which populate the Tallisterian walls to an immense degree, and the others hide behind her as they zone in on a supposed MSC contact. “Fan out,” says Valiant. “Secure the premises.” “Clear,” says Sherman from one room. “Clear,” says Timeless from another. “Looks like they left,” observes Valiant. Thaumaturge kicks down the door, and they proceed to the address given on the police call. “Portion! Hands behind your back.” A local police officer turns around. “Mister. Mis— Hey! You need to leave.” “Listen here, Officer” — he looks at her uniform — “Pembroke, I see you haven’t forgiven us for the incident with Officer Mansfield.” “It’s Captain Pembroke, and we did,” remarks Pembroke, “but this is still an active crime scene.” “Oh, man. I hate these kind of cops,” Matthew says via comms. “The ones who think that vigilantes can’t do their jobs better than them.” “Not all cops are the same,” Melanie points out. “Whatever. This is our suspect. This’ll be much easier if you tell us who you are.” Portion says nothing. “Nope.” “Not in my precinct,” Pembroke responds. “Isn’t the entirety of Wes just one precinct?” “Yes, and it is mine.” “Well, Cap, you don’t know what it’s like to work with a metahuman suspect.” “And you do?” Captain Pembroke retorts. “Yes. We come from Ocean City. Over there, we dealt with metas all the time,” Percy explains. “Oh. I didn’t realize.” Captain Pembroke seems to have forgotten to do her research. “Fine. But we’ll be watching you.” Thaumaturge doesn’t like the sound of that, but he accepts, and leaves with Portion in tow. Siobhan and Taodg treat the team to a fancy dinner at Edison at the Ward Hotel. “This steak is amazing,” Tomás says. “Really?” Corinne says. “I think it’s terrible.” “You’ve been complaining about the menu ever since you first saw it,” Tine says. “Yeah, why did we even bring you?” Humberto asks. “Hey, Corinne was helpful with the mural earlier,” Astra says. “This hake is better than I expected,” Tine says. “My meal is exemplary,” Humberto says. “Oh, look at you, Mr. Thesaurus,” Tomás jokes. “What? It is. Am I supposed to dumb down my vocabulary for you?” “Okay, I have a name,” Matthew announces. “Kelly Weiss. Before now, she had only one arrest for drunk and disorderly. She is a RobotGridiron superfan - yes, it says that in her rap sheet - and won a piece of Portion in an online auction. Once she touched it, her maxillary incisors seemed to merge together to form a single fang, like that of Portion.” “‘Maxillary incisors’?” Percy asks. “Didn’t peg you for a dentist.” “I can be many things. I would’ve thought after the cheerleader incident with Astra, you would’ve stopped putting people in predetermined categories.” “Speaking of putting people places, where are we gonna put her?” Melanie says. “I know this is the basement, but does this place have a secondary basement?” “Let’s see,” Percy says, taking out his wand. “Revelio!” Nothing happens. “Okay, plan B. Can you create a pocket dimension?” “That’s Plan B? Fine. I’ve never done anything like that before, but here goes. Cree!” He creates the pocket dimension, and Matthew tosses a reluctant Weiss into it. “Now, the only question is, what are we going to call it?” “How about the Sheath?” Melanie proposes. “It keeps with the weapons theme.” “Works for me.” “As the resident namesmaster, I approve.” “That’s a made-up title.” “Okay, you’ve just eliminated yourself from the namemaster line of succession.” The next morning, they zone in on another possible MSC location, and find something. What they found was a bunch of armored guards, who fired rapidly at them so as to distract them. “Let's get out of here,” says Corinne/Twist. “Working on it,” responds Valiant in a stressed manner. She is able to hit some of them with her spikes, but they escape. “Why are they running?” “I think I know why,” Timeless says. “Is that what I think it is?” Legend asks. “Yep.” “It’s a literal time bomb. Great.” “We didn’t know the MSCs had this kind of advanced technology. It changes everything.” “We can marvel at it later,” Valiant says. “First we need to—” She is interrupted when the bomb goes off, and the atmosphere around them rapidly changes to that of war. “—get out.” “What the hell happened?” Twist asks. “We appear to have traveled back to the height of the Herbovian conflict,” Timeless says. “I don’t like it here,” Legend says, ducking. “These people have no aim.” “I hope Astra has better luck with the locals,” Valiant says. “A gelato place? In Herbovia? That’s weird,” Astra says. “I have always wanted to try gelato, though.” She walks up to the counter. “What can I get for you?” “Oh, my gosh, you look just like that actress—” “Amybeth McNulty from Stranger Things. Yeah, I get that one a lot.” “I actually liked her better in Acquainted with the World.” “Acq— Oh, I see. You’re thinking I’m gonna awaken something in you. I won’t. But you will be doing a lot of sleeping in the near future,” she says as two more employees emerge from the kitchen. One of them injects Astra with something, making her unconscious. “They have explosives, too?” Legend asks. “This is not good. This is very not good.” Just then, they are saved by someone brandishing a green-and-orange circular shield with a star emblem on it. “Come with me. This is no place for new recruits.” “Who are you?” Valiant asks. “Captain Ireland.” “After what happened in my country, I wanted to stop something like that from ever happening again,” Captain Ireland explains, “so I came here. I didn’t think they’d be sending new recruits out into the field this early.” He hikes an eyebrow. “Unless you all wandered here by yourselves.” “We’re not new recruits,” Valiant says. “You won’t believe this, but we’re actually from the future.” “We found a time bomb, and it put us here,” Timeless says. “You’re from the future?” Captain Ireland says. “Tell me, does this war ever end? Does all war end in the future? No, wait. You can’t tell me. I get it.” “It’s a lot better here in the future,” Legend says. “The steaks are amazing.” “They could use some work,” Twist says. “In the meantime,” Timeless says, “let’s get out of here.” They take hands, and return to 2022. When she gets back to her room, Valiant finds a note saying, We have her. Unless you want blonde roast, I suggest you do as I say. “We have to get her back,” Valiant says. “I didn’t really like her that much,” says Twist, causing everyone to glare at her. “What? She was just too happy all the time. The world isn’t all sparkles and rainbows, you know.” “This one,” Captain Ireland says, “I’m not sure she has what it takes to make it in the hero world.” “Really? I don’t get the Irish bias?” “We’re working on her,” Valiant says. “You don’t have to come,” Timeless ventures. “I’ll come. You guys need me,” she says in a very Han Solo—like fashion. “Do I have to?” Matthew asks. “I’m not doing it,” Percy replies. “Where’s Mel—” Matthew looks around, but Melanie is gone. “Of course.” Matthew goes to feed Weiss, who escapes by jumping through the pocket dimension at the last second. She knocks him out. “My shield won’t protect all of you,” Captain Ireland says. “It doesn’t need to,” Twist says. She is able to distort into another, larger shield, and protects the team as they journey under heavy fire to the place where Astra is seated in a chair, which is dangerously close to a hole in the floor. They get to the place, and Astra is seemingly unperturbed. “What are we waiting for?” Captain Ireland asks. “Yeah, let’s go save her,” says Timeless. “No, we need to protect ourselves. She has a plan,” says Valiant as she observes Astra’s facial gestures. Sure enough, Astra leans back, then gets up and gets her feet on the ground with the chair still tied to her back. The guards that come to restrain her are knocked down by the chair. “Spike me,” she says confidently as everyone stares at her in shock. Valiant gives her a spike, and she frees her hands and all of her body from the chair. “Well, it looks like this is where we say our farewell,” Captain Ireland says outside of Siobhan and Taodg’s house. “I really must be getting back to my … time.” “We’re on it,” Timeless says. “I might have been wrong about you, recruit. What is it they call you? Twist? I could see you becoming a great hero one day. Listen, before I go, I have to try some future gelato. They have to have more flavors than they did in 1985.” “Looks like there’s a place right there,” Legend says. “Oh, no,” Astra says. “Not that one.” “There’s another place a couple blocks that way,” Taodg says. They say goodbye to their hosts. Siobhan says, “Say hi to Dilbert for me.” Valiant’s phone dings. “It’s the Armory. They need us.” As the team enters the Armory, Valiant looks down at the unconscious Matthew. “The hell happened to him?” “Portion happened,” Percy says. “I don’t … I don’t know what that means.” Matthew gets up, holding his head. “It means … ow” — he gestures to the computer screen — “that.” Weiss positions herself in the center of the city and moves to take out the fountain, an action that would cause a great amount of destruction. Before she could do this, her single fang seemed to morph into two fangs of a quarter of the size, revealing her maxillary central incisors once more. “Portion! You don’t wanna do this!” Valiant yells. “Yes, I do. The people of Wesaeec must feel the pain that I feel.” “I don’t see that happening,” Sherman says. She was right; it did not happen. They took Portion down by using two of Thaumaturge’s magic lassos to pin the fangs down, and then they gave her to the cops to deal with. Weiss was subsequently put on probation. Upon arrival at the Red Tiger, Astra is greeted by Melanie. “Astra! I missed you!” “I was always coming back,” Astra says. “You know that, right?” As they hug, Astra’s eyebrows go up, and she shoots a look a few feet away at Humberto. “That was impressive, what you did back in Tallister,” says Tine over the Red Tiger’s specialized northeastern tater tots. “I’ve been reading up on spy moves,” says Astra casually, “and watching The Avengers.” “I was gonna say,” says Humberto, “that was a total Nat move right there, may she Rest In Peace.” “To Nat,” Tine says, and they all celebrate the life of the most storied Avenger who never got a feature film in Phases 1—3 and drink from their various beverages. “How about what you two did with Portion?” says Percy. “Yeah, the way you two manhandled her like Wonder Woman,” Matthew says, “it was exemplary.” “What is it with everyone and that word?” Tomás asks. “Uh, I think you mean womanhandled,” Corinne says. “That’s not a word,” Humberto points out. “It is now.” “Let’s put it to a vote,” he suggests. “All in favor, say aye.” All four voters say “aye.” “Well, d**n. Looks like the dictionary needs a new entry.” “Call her up,” says Tine. “Are you assuming the dictionary’s gender?” asks Matthew as the screen fades to black. Content warning: strong language
“Okay, team,” Valiant says as the team enters a convenience store, “this is an easy one. We should be in and out.” “Last time you said that,” Sherman says, “we ended up locked in one of these places.” “Very inconvenient, if you ask me,” Thaumaturge says. The team encounters a new meta on their latest mission, surprising them and knocking Sherman to the ground. “What the hell was that, Matthew?” Valiant says. “I didn’t see anything,” Matthew says over comms. Sherman gets up off the floor. “Well, there was something there.” “That wasn’t there before?” Legend says. “All I see is a screw,” Timeless says. The meta can distort themselves into abnormal shapes and change their color to match the shapes. As such, they have difficulty apprehending them. Valiant and Thaumaturge stab things — mostly air — and do spells, but Sherman has only her fists. She misses the meta and falls to the ground once again. “Screws don’t usually do that, right?” “Not that I know of,” Thaumaturge says. “Unless…” “What’s unless?” Valiant says. “I don’t like unless.” “Unless it’s a magical screw. Revelio!” A pipe suddenly bursts, sending water cascading everywhere. “That’s not good.” “Timeless, Legend—” “On it,” Timeless says. They time-travel out of the store. “We’re gonna have to pay for that, aren’t we?” Humberto says. “I’m working on getting us in with the local cops,” Tine says. “Mansfield’s a tough one to crack. We’ve never seen a meta who can do that before, have we?” “Rosie Valeri came close last year, but no, nothing like this,” Astra says. “Yeah, she was like the freakin’ Wasp,” Tomás says. “So how do we track them?” Tine asks. “If they see a security camera, they can just distort themselves into an ordinary bottle, a pencil, a screw, anything.” “Screw that,” Astra quips. “Oh,” Percy says, “she’s got jokes.” “But,” Matthew says, “here’s the thing — I didn't see any screws leave this place.” “That’s impossible,” Tine says. “Not even in someone’s bag. Nothing. But I did notice a clump of sand exiting the store.” “So we’re dealing with the Sandman,” Humberto says. “Great.” “Based on their previous changes, we can determine that they are heading toward Stamford. We can track the sand for any unusual changes,” proposes Matthew. “Or,” Astra says, “we can just get these two” — she indicates Humberto and Tomás — “to go to when we catch her and bring her back.” “Great,” Tine says. “You can do it tonight. Astra, you can go with them in case their powers go on the fritz again.” Tomás frowns. “I can’t do it tonight. I have art class.” “Neither can we,” Humberto says. “We’re a bit busy tonight.” Tomás gives him a look. We are? “Too bad we don’t have a Weather Wizard to help us,” jokes Tine. “Or do we?” asks Percy. “So you want to tell me what I’m doing tonight?” Tomás asks. “You’re having dinner with me and Miguel,” Humberto says. “Great! I’ve been wanting to meet the guy who’s been taking up so much of your time. Well, besides your boss at Yogurt Town, that is. Wait. Why aren’t you more excited?” “My mom’s gonna be there.” “And you want me to be the buffer.” Humberto nods. “Are you sure you’re ready for that?” “I’ve gotta do it at some point. Might as well be now.” Astra sits down in art class. “Well, if it isn’t another member of the famous Team Valiant.” She turns to see Melanie. “Another?” Astra says. “Wait, let me back up. How did you know I was— Let me back up again. Who are you?” “Oh, right.” She offers her hand. “I’m Melanie. I had quite the adventure with Mr. Diaz and Mr. Guerrero last week. It felt like I went back in time. Metaphorically, of course. And in answer to your second question, there aren’t many freshmen who go around saving convenience stores with Wolverine and Harry Potter on a regular basis.” Astra frowns. “The mask didn’t help at all?” “Oh, MacKenzie, the mask does nothing if you know who you’re looking for. What are you drawing?” “A watermelon.” “Interesting choice.” “The assignment was to draw a fruit that you most identify with. I chose a watermelon because it’s a burden to the other fruits, it’s never as good as you think it is, and it has balance issues.” Melanie touches the drawing. “Well, I happen to think this drawing is amazing.” “Thank you.” “As for the balance issues, I can’t comment on that.” Astra chuckles. Just then, the watermelon emerges from the drawing and collides with Astra’s chest. Melanie looks down at the supine Astra. “I guess this is what you meant.” “There,” Ariana Hunter/Stratus says, inspecting a seemingly-inconspicuous pile of sand. “This sand is a bit lighter than the others.” “Well done, Ariana,” Thaumaturge says. “Thanks. I’ve gotten a lot better at this hero thing since you all found me that day in May.” “It’s true,” Valiant says. “We went to another planet. She wasn’t scared at all.” “D**n,” Matthew says. “I want to go to another planet.” “So, can you capture them for us?” “Yep,” Stratus says. She is able to encase the meta in a wind vortex. “I need to put this thing somewhere.” “Put it in the Vaniant,” Matthew says. “The what?” Valiant says. “Oh, Vaniant,” Stratus says, “like the Team Valiant van. That’s clever.” She transports the vortex into the van, and the sand immediately morphs into a humanoid shape. “Guys.” “Her name is Coriníon Morris,” Matthew says. “Goes by Corinne. She’s a fiery Irish redhead—” “It can’t possibly say that,” Ariana says. “Okay, you caught me. Anyway, she acquired her powers in an unfortunate accident with a screw as a preteen.” Just then, Corinne shifts back into the screw, before returning to human form. “Okay, that’s wacky.” “This is unlawful imprisonment,” Corinne says. “You know that, right?” “On the contrary, a citizen’s arrest is well within our rights,” Percy says. “You’re lucky we didn’t turn you in to the cops.” “What were you doing in there, Corinne? Why were you after that convenience store?” asks Tine. She shifts into the screw and reverses again. “Sorry. I still can’t control these powers all the time. And I was looking for a Coke.” “Is that why you hit several subsequent stores and then the beach?” “I needed to relax.” “We have a job offer for you, but it’s not very relaxing.” “Oh, are you like that vamp and her Merry Men out in Ocean City?” “They aren’t all guys, you know,” Ariana points out. “Yes,” Tine says. “We want you to join Team Valiant.” Percy initiates a sidebar. “Are you sure?” “We can’t always rely on Humberto and Tomás to get us out of tough situations. It would be useful to have someone who could shift into any method of transportation we could need.” Matthew steps in. “That’s why we have the Vaniant.” “I’m not calling it that. And what if we can’t reach you?” “Is there money involved?” Corinne asks. “No, there isn’t. I already went through this,” Matthew says. “You’ll get experiences that will last a lifetime,” Ariana says. “Oh, not this pitch again,” Percy groans. “I’ll do it,” Corinne decides, surprising everyone. “I’ve always wanted to be part of a team.” “What about PE? You were never picked?” asks Matthew, very insightfully. “I was, once, but I turned into a screw the moment the ball hit me. After that, they all called me Screwball.” “Well, you won’t have to deal with that here,” Tine assures her, “because we hate dodgeball.” Corinne chuckles. “Miguel, this is my friend, Tomás,” Humberto says. “Tomás, this is my …” “You can say it,” Miguel says. “This is Miguel, my boyfriend.” “Nice to meet you.” “You too,” Tomás says. The two perfectly execute a handshake, despite having never met. “How?” Humberto splutters, bewildered. “Oh, come on. Everyone knows that one.” An impressed Humberto knocks on the door, and is met with a giddy “Berto! So glad you could come.” “It’s Thursday family dinner, Mom,” Humberto says. “Why would I miss it?” “I see you brought some friends.” “Yeah, I hope it’s okay. You know Tomás.” Tomás gives her a hug. “Hi, Alice.” “And this is—” “I’m Miguel,” Miguel says, kissing Alice’s hand. “I’m his—” “He’s my boyfriend.” “That’s great!” Alice says, bewildering Humberto once more. “Berto, I had no idea you were part of the el jibbity community.” “Mom! It’s the LGBT community.” “That’s what I said. El jibbity.” “No, it’s an ac— nevermind. Let’s just go inside.” “So we should test this, right?” Melanie asks. “Test it?” Astra says, slowly getting up and covering her stomach as if it was a magnet that attracted the watermelon. “You can bring drawings to life, and you don’t want to test it?” “I just want to go home before I blab another personal detail to someone I just met.” “I hope I’m more than that.” Astra takes out her phone. “What are you doing?” “Calling my mom to give me a ride home.” “Come on, draw something. I’ll catch it, I promise.” “Fine.” She draws an apple, and as promised, Melanie catches it when it emerges. “See?” she says, taking a bite of the apple. “All those years of softball paid off.” “Softball and art? Someone’s multitalented.” “Tell your boss.” Off of Astra’s bewildered look, she adds, “I’m sure Team Valiant is always accepting new members.” “Actually, we just added someone, so I’m not sure we have any openings.” “I wouldn’t be so sure about that. I mean, I heard Team Promontory was adding a new hero a week. Draw something else.” Astra draws an orange, and Melanie catches it. “An orange? Seriously? Think bigger.” Astra draws a notebook. “Bigger.” Astra draws a TV, and Melanie drags out a nearby chair in order to catch it. “Jesus Christ, are you trying to kill me?” “You said bigger.” “So what do we do now?” Corinne asks. “Usually, we just sit here and wait for something to happen,” Percy says. “And by something,” Tine says, “we mean a convenience store robbery. Thanks for following the trend, by the way.” “Happy to help,” Corinne says. “So, what was it like on the other planet?” Matthew inquires. “Did you see any aliens?” “No aliens,” Ariana says, “but I did get to see Tine fall on her a**.” “Alright,” Tine grumbles. “I still don’t understand it. If gravity was reversed, wouldn’t I have fallen upward?” “Not necessarily. You can’t think about it in terms of Earthly physics. You’ve got it all a**-backwards.” “Something’s happening,” Matthew says. “Convenience store?” Ariana says. “No, a bookstore this time. And here’s the weirder thing - the person reported seeing a shapeshifter.” “That’s impossible,” Tine says. “The only shifter we know in the city is here. Suit up.” “Unless,” Percy says. “There’s that unless again.” Percy pokes Corinne. “It’s me,” she says, more than slightly annoyed. “What did you think poking me would do?” “Startle you, I guess,” he says sheepishly. Ariana considers this. The team arrives at the bookstore. “Stop right there!” Valiant says. The villain does not stop right there. In fact, he starts shooting at them. “Why do I hear shooting?” Matthew says over comms. “Why do you think?!” “Why isn’t he shifting?” Stratus asks. Thaumaturge notices the villain morphing a nearby bookshelf to block them from accessing him. “Because it wasn’t him that was shifting.” Valiant uses one of her spikes to cut through the wall. “Did you know you could do that?” “Nope,” she says. She engages the villain and is able to remove his mask, but he twists her arm in a way that it’s not supposed to be twisted. “You need to go to a hospital,” Thaumaturge says as Valiant screams in agony. “No.” “I don’t think you have a choice,” Corinne says. “This almost killed Max Mayfield, you know.” “Thaumaturge, did you—” “No,” Thaumaturge says. “Come on,” Stratus says. “So how did you two meet?” Alice asks. “It was really cute, actually,” Miguel says. “I showed up at Yogurt Town, saw him looking lonely, and the rest is history.” “He stole my gummy bears and my heart,” Humberto says. “That sounds like how your father and I met, actually,” Alice says. “You don’t talk about your dad much,” Tomás says to Humberto. “Not much to tell. Let that be a lesson to you lovebirds: don’t get married. It’s not all it’s cracked up to be.” Humberto leaves abruptly. “Thanks for that,” Melanie says. “That was the most fun I’ve had in that class all year.” “And you got a free TV out of it, too,” Astra says. “Yeah. See? You’re not a burden.” Astra’s phone dings. “Hero business?” “It’s Valiant. She’s in the hospital.” Melanie follows her as she leaves. “What are you doing?” “You need a ride, right?” “I swear, this town is out to get me,” Valiant says. “We need a healer on the team. I told Sol as much, but apparently that’s not a ‘popular’ power in Ocean City. God, doing air quotes with one arm looks f***ing stupid.” “If I may ask,” Corinne says, “what’s your problem with hospitals?” “It’s a bit of a sore subject,” Thaumaturge says. “It’s fine,” Valiant says. “Did I ever tell you about my brother?” Thaumaturge and Stratus shake their heads. “Ambrogio. My parents really hated us. He was 7. I wasn’t much older. He had leukemia. The doctors did everything they could, but I just couldn’t stand the feeling of being so helpless. That’s why I was so thrilled when I got my powers. I could finally save people, like I couldn’t save him. Then when Alex died … that feeling just came right back.” “I’m so sorry,” Stratus says. The silence lingers for a beat. Astra rushes in. “I came as soon as I could. That doesn’t look so good.” “That’s because it’s not. The doctor recommended an experimental double surgery, but it’s too expensive.” “We wouldn’t even be considering the d**n surgery if Magic Man here could remember the healing spell,” Valiant says. “I didn’t have them all memorized,” Thaumaturge says. “Why not?” Matthew says. “Wait,” Melanie says. “I have an idea.” “Who are you?” Valiant asks. “And how did you get in here?” Stratus says. “This is Melanie,” Astra says. “She’s Humberto and Tomás’ friend. My friend.” “And in answer to your other question,” Melanie says, “the security is very lax here. What if you drew Thaum… — whatever your name is — doing the healing spell?” “I don’t think my powers work like that. They’re more Kaela-in-Charmed than Cal-in-Manifest.” “You’ll never know unless you try.” “Hold on,” Stratus says. “You have powers?” “She can bring drawings to life.” “And you didn’t tell me?” Valiant says. “I’ve known for all of 15 minutes,” Astra says. “So what are you waiting for?” Corinne says. “You said the spells are based on Spanish, right?” Thaumaturge nods. <Sí>. Another beat passes. “Does it usually take this long?” Corinne asks. “Not usually,” Melanie says. “But this one is quite involved.” “You’re quite involved,” Matthew says, “for someone who’s not on the team.” Melanie shoots a look at Valiant, who does not return it. “Not yet.” “Done,” Astra says. “Now we wait.” After a few moments, Thaumaturge takes out his wand. “Sane!” Valiant’s arm is healed. “You didn’t tell me it would hurt.” “How was I supposed to have known that?” “Alright,” Matthew says, “let’s get out of here.” “You don’t have to twist my arm,” Valiant says. Alice moves to leave, but Tomás stops her. “Alice, let me.” “I appreciate that, Tomás,” she says, “but I think I can talk to my son.” Tomás puts his hands up in surrender. She knocks on Humberto’s door. “Berto?” Her phone dings. The text reads, I don’t want to talk right now. “I didn’t mean what I said.” Humberto opens the door slightly. “I guess I was just projecting my stuff onto you. If you want to get married, I will support you, whether it’s to Miguel or someone else. He seems like a nice guy.” “He is,” Humberto says. “I love you, son.” “Love you too, Mom.” “What happened to disarming him?” Matthew says. “You were the one who said that was always the first priority.” “I was a little busy getting shot at,” Tine says. “Do we have any information on Mr. Shifter?” Percy asks. “That’s not what we’re calling him,” Matthew says, “and yes. His name is Randy Bogan. 44. History of violence. He worked at a tech company until a couple years ago, when he was fired for ‘irreconcilable differences.’” “Well, it seems like he can reconcile them now,” Corinne says. “How do we know what his plan is?” Ariana says. “With that power, think of the unbridled chaos he could cause.” “I’d rather not,” Astra says. “That can’t be right,” Matthew says. “What?” Tine asks. “I’m detecting a 5.7-magnitude earthquake on Main Street.” “An earthquake in Connecticut?” Corinne says. “That’s impossible.” “Up until yesterday, I would’ve said that shapeshifters were impossible,” Ariana says. “It’s gotta be him,” Tine says. “What’s the plan here?” Corinne asks once they get to Main Street. “Working on it,” Valiant says. “Sherman, can you draw an ice bridge to connect the street?” “Yeah,” Sherman says. “It’s not working.” “Of course,” Thaumaturge says. “What? What ‘of course’?” “You can’t draw things that you’ve never seen before.” “I’ve seen Frozen.” “But you haven’t seen a real ice bridge.” “Stratus,” Valiant says, “can you—” “Yep,” Stratus says, and creates a sand bridge to connect the separated halves of the street. “I knew there was a reason you were here,” Sherman says. “It’s all connected.” Stratus motions to a nearby building adorned with broken glass. “Those people are trapped up there.” “Corinne?” Corinne shifts into the screw briefly before returning to her normal form. “Wait. I got this.” She enlarges her hand and guides the citizens down. “You were great out there, Corinne,” Tine says at the Armory. “We could use you here.” “You sure you still want me on the team,” Corinne says, “given my history?” “Of course,” Tine says. “I got your back. Us redheads gotta stick together.” “What about Melanie?” Astra says. “Does she get to be on the team?” “I don’t know. There was something off about her.” “Off how?” “I don’t know yet. But I don’t trust her.” “One thing,” Matthew says. “If you’re gonna be on the team, you need a code name. How about … Twist?” “Twist,” Corinne says. “I like it.” Ariana moves to depart. “Why are you going? Stay with us!” whines Astra. “You already have a strong woman capable of leading you, and they might need me back in the OC.” “Fair enough.” Everyone waves goodbye, as Ariana departs on Henry Silvercloud’s plane. “I like her,” Corinne says. “Good,” Percy says. “I have a hunch she’ll be coming back around May.” “Why May?” “Trust me,” Tine says. “S**t always goes down in May.” Aspiring superheroine Photine “Tine” Multmoff/Valiant has left Ocean City and is forging a new life for herself in the small Connecticut town of Wesaeec. Sporting a new red hair color to match her suit, she sees a convenience store being held up almost immediately after she arrives in the town. “Seriously?” she says, shaking her head. “Not even five seconds.” She suits up, having learned to conceal her suit beneath her clothes as Sol does. “Stop it right there!”
The robbers do not listen, as expected. One of them turns to her. “Hey, aren’t you Promontory’s sidekick? What you doing so far from home, girl?” Also as expected, she reacts negatively to this, attacking them with more force than necessary and sending them smashing through the glass windows. They get some shots off, but they bounce off of the suit. “Seriously? Do they ever learn?” she questions. Four more thieves converge on her location. “Okay. That’s not good.” She touches her comm set. “Guys, a little help here?” “On it. Agranda!” One of the thieves is knocked out by a masked hero waving what looks like a staff, and we turn to see Percival “Percy” Johnson/Thaumaturge. “Took you long enough,” the heroine says. “We weren’t expecting you to call so soon,” Astra MacKenzie/Sherman says as she engages one of the thieves. “Love the new hair.” “Thank you.” “Great job there by the way, Tommy Boy.” “It’s Thaumaturge, and you know it,” Thaumaturge responds. “And don’t pretend like you’re much better, Sherman.” “At least mine makes sense. Cindy Sherman was a famous artist. Thaumaturge just sounds made-up.” “Can’t we have this discussion another ti— Ow!” Valiant is interrupted when one of the unconscious criminals wakes up and stabs her with one of the glass shards from the window. Sherman winces. “That’s gonna leave a mark.” Valiant ignores her. “It’s times like these when I wish I had Promontory’s healing factor. How’s it going with that spell?” “I still don’t have it yet,” Thaumaturge says. “I can try—” “Nope,” Valiant says swiftly. “Don’t wanna grow a third arm or something. I guess it’s time.” She activates her comms. “Timeless, Legend, come in.” Humberto Diaz/Timeless and Tomás Guerrero/Legend arrive. “What’s going on?” the former says. “We thought you three had it under control— Oh,” he says upon seeing the heroine’s wound. “You want us to go back and make sure that doesn’t happen,” the latter says. “As they say on the farm, bingo,” Valiant quips. “Can’t you just go to the hospital?” Thaumaturge asks. “I don’t do hospitals. They ask too many questions.” “Is that the only reason? I know that you—” Valiant cuts him off. “Can we go back now?” The group links hands, and are transported back to moments earlier, when Valiant first arrived at the store. “Alright, we got this,” Thaumaturge says. His staff is back to its normal shape, that of a magic wand. “Riega!” He opens a water bottle, sending liquid straight at one of the thieves, stunning him and leaving him vulnerable to an attack from one of Valiant’s shoe spikes. “So violent,” Legend says. “I’m sure there was a less stabby way to do that.” “It gets the job done,” the heroine says. “And it doesn’t involve breaking any—” Thaumaturge tries to knock one of the thieves out. “Noquea!” However, the thief ducks out of the way, and the spell hits the window, shattering it. “Windows,” Valiant finishes reluctantly. “Okay, we have to get out of here before—” She hears sirens coming. “The cops come,” Sherman finishes. “Hear the sirens—” Thaumaturge sings. Sherman grabs him by the arm. “Let’s go, Pearl Jam.” “Hear the sirens—” “All right, have a good night, ma’am,” Valiant says to the cashier, and takes some Snickers and leaves, knowing that she would not be charged. We learn through a montage that Tine then starts to believe that being a vigilante in this town, which she abbreviates to Wes, is particularly easy, as every crime that she thwarts is a convenience store robbery of some kind. “How many d**n convenience stores does this town have?” Valiant questions. The town has a surprisingly large amount of convenience stores. “Seriously, get a Target or something.” Then, life happens. The team goes to stop a seemingly mundane robbery, and is thwarted when the steel doors are triggered, locking them inside with the unconscious thieves. “Well, this sucks,” Valiant is the first to say. “I see we still feel the need to say the obvious,” Thaumaturge remarks. “Dilbert is rubbing off on you,” she observes. “Speaking of, can’t you do something to magic us out of here?” “I don’t have a ‘get out of jail free’ spell,” he retorts. “Shame.” She pauses. “Hell, Dilbert wouldn’t have ended up here in the first place.” “I wouldn’t be so sure about that,” Sherman says. He told me about how he got stuck in an alternate dimension one time.” “That was an accident.” “Doesn’t Dilbert have the power to literally wish anything he thinks of into existence, like a d**n genie? He could ‘Friend Like Me’ us out of here like that,” Thaumaturge says, snapping his fingers. “I thought Sasha had that power. Remember, with the minotaur? Besides, if Sol was there, she could have just flown them away. She seems to have a knack for being in the right place at the right time. She probably has some vampiric superspeed power that she doesn’t even know about.” “Ooh, sounds like someone has a girl crush,” Sherman teases. “Your point being?” “We should get out of here before these guys wake up,” Thaumaturge suggests. “Never have I heard a better idea in my life,” Valiant avers. She tries to pierce the door with her shoe spikes; they do not break. “Well, this sucks, again.” In the morning, the cops come, having received Sherman’s 911 call. “Sorry we couldn’t come earlier,” an officer whose uniform identifies him as Mansfield explains, “but we were sleeping.” “Yeah, understandable. Wait, that’s all you got? It’s a good thing we’re here,” Thaumaturge remarks drily. “We look forward to working with you in the future,” Sherman says cheerfully as they depart. “That was obviously a façade.” “Obviously. What do you peg me for, a freakin’ cheerleader?!” “Not anymore. Cheerleaders come in all personalities, you know.” “I know. Just not this one.” “Why aren’t Hum- I mean, Timeless and Legend here with us?” “They said they were having trouble at school.” Valiant sounds thoughtful. “That’s never been a concern for them before.” As they enter Wesaeec High School, Humberto and Tomás are assaulted by a barrage of staring faces. “Remind me why we came here again?” the former says. “We came to support Tine, remember?” the latter says. “Don’t you want to be supportive?” “Of course I do, but I didn’t think ‘supportive’ would mean going to freakin’ Belgium. I feel like I’m in an ‘80s sitcom.” “Maybe it’ll be better in class.” “Yeah, you’re right.” In class, a sleeping Humberto is jolted awake when the teacher calls on him. “What? Could- could you repeat the question?” One of his classmates snickers. “This isn’t Jeopardy, you know.” “Do I need to send you to detention again, Jeff?” the teacher asks. Jeff shakes his head. “Mr. Diaz, I asked, what river has a confluence with its tributary in Uruguay?” “I’m sorry, I don’t…” — he looks over at Tomás, who shakes his head sympathetically — “I don’t know.” “It was in your reading last night. Does anyone know the answer?” She sees a hand. “Janice.” “The Río de la Plata,” Janice says. “Very good.” “I thought you would at least know that one,” Jeff says, “since you’re—” Humberto whirls on Jeff. “I’m what, Jeff? Mexican? Newsflash: Mexico and Uruguay are almost 5,000 miles away.” He storms off. “I’m sorry. I—” “Jeff,” the teacher says. “You’re pushing it.” “Excuse me,” Tomás says, “can I go to the bathroom?” “Sure.” Tomás leaves. Tomás catches up with Humberto in the hallway. “You didn’t do the reading? That’s not like you.” “I know,” Humberto says. “We got in late last night, and I figured that I should get a good night’s rest before starting a new school.” “Seems reasonable.” “I’ve moved before, but I don’t know. This time is different. I wasn’t expecting so many—” “Perfect strangers?” Humberto chuckles. “Exactly. And usually I don’t let people like that get to me. But I guess it’s just—” “Jeff?” says a voice from behind them. “Sorry, I couldn’t help but overhear. You’re the new kids, right? I’m Melanie.” “Humberto.” “Tomás,” Tomás says. “Don’t worry about Jeff,” Melanie says. “He has CDD - chronic dickhead disorder.” Tomás laughs. “If you want, I could show you around.” “Thank you,” Humberto says. “That would be great.” “It’s a small campus. The tour’s gonna be pretty short. Hold on. I have to get something from my locker.” She attempts to open her locker, but it doesn’t budge. “Oh, I hate it when it does this.” She takes out a knife that definitely looks like it shouldn’t be allowed on school grounds, and toggles the lock. “That’s some knife you’ve got there. Is that a Rembrandt?” “Whoa. You know about knives?” “Let’s just say we have a history of hand-to-hand combat,” Tomás says. “Nothing sinister, I assure you.” “Right.” “Can I see it?” “Yep.” Melanie goes to give him the knife, but drops it. As she leans down to retrieve it, she wobbles. Tomás puts his hand on her shoulder to steady her, but he has difficulty finding his footing as well. Humberto puts his hand on Tomás’ shoulder. “Careful there, you two. Wouldn’t want to—” He is interrupted when they are suddenly transported to what appears to be some sort of forest. “—go on an unexpected trip or anything.” “How did you even get this place?” Percy asks as the team walks up to an empty-looking building next to a bookstore. “Owner just gave it to me,” Tine says. We cut to a few hours earlier. “Seriously? Yes, that’s a great price,” Tine says in disbelief. “What’s the catch?” “Do you like noise?” the owner says. “I mean, I’m not opposed—” The owner opens a door to reveal the deafening noise of the freeway. “Why the Armory?” Astra says. “Because it’s where we store our weapons. Quite simple, really,” Tine answers. “Who are you, Jemma Simmons?” Percy questions. “I don’t- Is that bad?” “No, just wondering.” Tine disregards this, and proceeds with her address to Team Valiant. “We need a computer specialist,” she says. “We can’t get ourselves locked in at a crime scene again. Next time, the cops might not be so merciful.” “I think they will, judging by their total incompetence,” Percy reasons. “Well, we can’t bet on that, no matter how sure of a bet it might be. Let’s ask around, see if anyone knows a computer specialist, preferably a teenager. Don’t open that—” she says as Percy opens the freeway door. “Door.” He closes the door. “So where’s the actual armory going to be, then?” “Is there a basement in here?” Astra asks. “Percy,” Tine says, “can you—” “On it,” Percy says. “Revelio!” A square in the tile floor opens up to reveal a stairway. “Where the hell are we?” Melanie asks. The knife is on the ground once again. “I think the real question is when are we,” Tomás says. He looks at Humberto, who nods. “We’re time travelers.” “You’re what?” “We’re from Ocean City,” Humberto says. “We were members of Team Promontory. Well, practice squad, I guess you could say. Anyway, we helped them with any of their time-traveling needs.” “So that’s what you meant when you said you had a history of hand-to-hand combat,” she says, and Tomás nods. “So, we traveled here, right? That means that we can go back.” “In theory,” Tomás says. “Take my hand.” Surprised, Melanie does so. Humberto takes his other hand, but nothing happens. “Strange,” Humberto says. “That usually works. We must be in a dead spot.” “Let’s try to get to town. Reception should be better there, so to speak.” They run out of the forest, and flag down a black Ford Model T. “Excuse me, sir. Can you take us to town?” “Sure,” the driver says. “It’ll be a bit of a tight fit, but I’m sure you can manage,” he says as Melanie squishes in between the two boys. They drive into town, and the driver stops in front of the police station. “Here you go, chief. They came voluntarily.” “Who’s the girl?” the chief asks as the driver hops out of the car. “Don’t know. Best to bring her in for questioning as well.” “Hey! Get your hands off of me!” Humberto says as the driver “helps” him out of the car. “You’ve got the wrong guys,” Tomás says. “You’re going to regret this,” Melanie says. Tine hands a passerby a piece of paper. “Excuse me, sir, do you know any teenage tech experts?” “I’m sorry, no,” the passerby says. “Try the Genius Bar in Stamford,” we hear someone else tell Percy. “Any luck?” Tine asks. “Nope,” Percy says. “No one in this Wojnarowski town knows anything about technology, it seems.” “Well, I’m sure that’s not the case.” “Why didn’t we do this on Instagram or something?” “We don’t have the followers yet.” She gives another paper to an elderly woman. “Tech genius wanted.” “Thanks, dearie. I’ll give this to my grandson. He’s always helping me with my email. But there’s just one thing.” “What?” “He’s quite shy. He doesn’t do well around … girls.” Tine frowns. “I’ll give it to him anyway. Maybe this time he’ll finally get out of his shell.” “Thank you,” Tine says as she departs. “This is hopeless,” she says to Percy. “Sol was always the one who did the recruiting.” She pauses. “When I got my powers, my parents didn’t understand. To them, I wasn’t their daughter anymore; I might as well have been from another planet. So, when Sol and Dilbert took me in, I was excited. I felt like I finally had somewhere that I belonged. But while those two were heroes, I was just the crazy, stabby sidekick. I don’t know why I thought I could do this.” “What is this nonsense I’m hearing?” Percy says. “You’re so much more than just a sidekick. In a matter of weeks, you’ve reduced this town’s convenience store robberies by half.” “There are a lot of convenience stores in this town, aren’t there?” Percy chuckles. “And besides, Titans? Legion of Super-Heroes? Young Avengers? Some of the best teams are led by sidekicks.” A smiling Tine is interrupted when her phone dings. “It’s Astra. She’s got someone.” “Monopoly did not adequately prepare me for this,” Melanie says as she looks around at the bars of the jail cell. “Based on that Model T and the general aesthetic,” Humberto says, “I suspect we are in 1922.” “A hundred years?! Well, now that you know that, we can go back, right?” They take hands, but nothing happens. “It must be something else,” Tomás says. “Was there anything unusual when we jumped the first time?” “The knife,” Humberto realizes. “What about it?” Melanie asks. “When we jumped, it wasn’t because of our powers. It was the knife.” “So, in order to get back, we have to get back to it.” Humberto nods. “Which is gonna be tough, since we’re stuck here.” “Excuse me, officer?” Humberto says. “Is there any chance you could tell us why we’re here?” “Shut up, criminals. You’re lucky you’re not going somewhere worse than this.” The officer leaves. “Well, he was no help,” Melanie says. She spots the station secretary. “Excuse me, miss?” “Yes?” “Why are we here? We didn’t do anything.” “You may not have, dear, but these two” — she indicates Humberto and Tomás — “are very dangerous. The chief caught them plotting to destroy this wonderful town.” She leaves. “Matthew O’Leary,” Astra says, “16. Graduated from Meadows Middle School with a collective 4.3 GPA in STEAM classes. Participated in a robotics extracurricular in the early mornings. Best of all, he’s actively looking for a side business to showcase his computer skills.” “Well, that’s perfect,” Tine says, “Except, we can’t pay him.” “Yeah,” Astra says, “we spent all our money buying this place.” “The Armory.” “Oh, sorry, the Armory,” Astra corrects herself. “Anyway, he’s at his house in the Southern Shores. Let’s go.” “Suit up?” “Yes, but conceal. We want him to think that we’re regular people until we’re sure we can trust him.” “Conceal, don’t feel,” Percy nods, and Astra glares at him. They journey down to the Southern Shores, and find O'Leary’s house. “We’re looking for Matthew,” Tine informs his mother, who answered the door. “Matthew! Some people here to see you!” she hollers with incorrect grammar. “Coming!” He walks noisily down the stairs. “I’m Matthew. What can I do for ya?” “We need a computer specialist. We have a job offer for you.” “What kind of job?” “May we come in?” He indicates yes, and they proceed. “You won’t tell anyone?” Tine asks him. “Tell anyone what?” All three of them take off their jackets to reveal their suits and put on their masks. “You two are part of the team from Ocean City. You, I’ve never seen before.” “I’m new at this. But it pays,” Astra says, and Tine nudges her. “How much?” “It’s not a matter of dollars, it’s a matter of valuable life experience.” “Oh, you’re broke.” “Yeah, pretty much.” “I’ll help you, because I need to see this town crime—free by the time I graduate high school, or I won’t get into college.” “I see. ‘Environmental Context’ hasn’t made it to this neck of the woods yet. Things will change. But we appreciate your help.” “All right, good. So, what do we do first?” What they do is head back to the Armory and regroup. “Search the internet for references to black fox emblems,” Tine says. “Found one!” Matthew says, rather enthusiastically. “You could be a little less excited,” Astra says. “They call themselves the Pack. Rather unimaginative name, if you ask me. They operate in Midtown, where people are trusting and suspicion is light. They seem to be operating in a dodecahedron-like fashion. They should hit Real Bargainz tonight at 11pm.” “Another convenience store,” Tine says. “Figures.” “Then so will we.” “I don’t care what time we go to,” Melanie says, “we have to get out of here.” Humberto looks at Tomás. “Should we?” “It’s too risky,” Tomás says. “What?” Melanie asks. “What’s too risky? Because I’m sure it’s not riskier than being stuck in a jail cell 100 years in the past.” “We’ve never traveled only just seconds in any direction,” Humberto says. “At that level, our powers can be imprecise.” “More imprecise than they already are? No offense.” “She’s right,” Tomás says. “Let’s try it.” They take hands, and travel to the main street of Wesaeec, 30 seconds in the future. “Seems like it worked.” “Let’s get to the forest,” Humberto says. They start to leave town, but spot a couple of evildoers dressed in all black heading into a deserted alleyway. “You’re not gonna stop for them, are you?” “We don’t have a choice,” Tomás says. “It’s who we are.” “This town has cops, you know.” “That’s not a very valid argument.” “I know, but still.” Tomás and Humberto turn to intercept the criminals, and Melanie sighs. The team convenes at Real Bargainz, Matthew in the van provided by the businessman. “One on your right,” he advises Sherman. “Got him,” she responds. “Thanks.” “Anytime. Except from 9-10 on Sundays. Then I’m busy.” “Morning?” “Yeah.” “Then you should be fine,” Valiant assures him. “Stop right there!” Humberto yells. “And who might you be?” “Just a few concerned citizens.” “Well, you can take your concern elsewhere,” the second criminal says. “I’m afraid we can’t do that,” Tomás says, and engages them in hand-to-hand combat. “You’re not bad,” Melanie says. “Oh, sh— is that a bomb?” “We prefer the term ‘cleansing device,’” the first criminal says. “Looks like a bomb to me,” Humberto says while trading punches. He turns to Melanie. “Can you take care of that? I’m kind of busy here.” “Nope,” Melanie says. “I’ve never defused a bomb before.” “Hey. Neither have I. Alright, then. You take him.” Humberto is able to defuse the bomb as Tomás and Melanie take out the criminals, the latter with a second knife. “The hell did you get that from?” Tomás asks. “What kind of woman doesn’t have a backup knife?” Melanie responds. “Let’s get out of here.” “I couldn’t agree more,” Humberto says. They go to the forest, and are able to travel back to WHS in 2022. “So, that was an ordeal.” “Care to do it again sometime?” Tomás says. Melanie gives him a quizzical look. “We could use someone like you on the team.” “TBD on that. Right now, I’m just happy to be back in our time.” “Yeah,” Humberto says. “Us too.” Just then, he gets a text from an unknown number that reads, Team Valiant assistance needed. 9860 Barton. - Matthew. They take down the robbers, and Matthew is able to override the coder who hacked into the doors. Sherman moves to leave. “What are you doing?” Valiant says. “We’re done, right?” Sherman says. “No, we’re not done,” Timeless says. “After we thwart a crime, we go to a hangout to celebrate,” Valiant explains. “There’s no Baldacci’s here, so we have to pick somewhere else,” Thaumaturge says. “There isn’t?” Timeless asks. “I thought that was a chain.” “It is,” Sherman says. “It just hasn’t reached Connecticut yet.” “Add that to the list of things I hate about this state,” Legend says. “Hey,” Matthew says via comms, “no Connecticut slander here.” “Sorry, I forgot that we had a Conne- Connecticutian on the team. Connecticite?” “How about there?” Sherman says, pointing to a restaurant sign that reads, The Red Tiger. Tine says, “The Red Tiger it is.” “What else do you hate about this state?” Thaumaturge asks. “Jeff,” Legend says. “Who’s Jeff?” Sherman asks. “No one,” Timeless says firmly. “We don’t care about him.” Thaumaturge nods knowingly. “I had a Jeff. He called me a half-blood, because, you know.” “That’s kind of fun—” Sherman starts, but Valiant gives her a look. “It’s not.” “You’ve got a good team here, Valiant. You can do this. And we’ve got your back.” “Thank you,” Valiant says. “I appreciate that.” |
You know the drill. Scroll down for the earliest entries.
|