At the Summit, Rowena is pacing. “So we have a telekinetic with a grudge, who knows our moves, and is planning something terrible. Does that about sum it up?”
“Don’t forget that she has the metahuman cure,” Quiana says. “How are we supposed to defeat Meena if we don’t even know where she is?” Orland says. “We might,” Sol says. Ginny catches on. “Officer Traitor.” “Bingo. I bet he can tell me where Meena’s lair is.” “What if he doesn’t tell you?” Sasha asks. She seems grumpier than normal. “Dilbert can put a truth spell—” Dylan starts, but then stops. “We don’t need Dilbert,” Sol says. “Landry only allied with Meena because he was scared. I can exploit that. Trust me, he’ll spill.” Promontory goes to confront Officer Landry. “Landry. I have a proposition for you.” “Ms. Goswani said not to listen to anything you hero scum have to say.” “If you do this, you’ll be out from under Meena’s thumb. If you don’t, well, we’re gonna have to have another talk,” she says, fangs bared. “Very well,” Landry says, “but no more bothering me after that.” “Promise.” Promontory, Defender, Tanuki, and the Reg arrive at the address that Landry gave. However, Meena and Landry are ready for them, and they have police backup. “Oh, great, he brought the whole station,” Defender grouses. “Doesn’t matter,” Promontory says. “Meena, surrender! Your forces are no match for us!” “I disagree, Streaky,” Meena says, “and the name’s Tanzanite.” A fight breaks out, and Meena soon gets the upper hand, telekinetically moving Defender behind a police car. She lands with a thud. “We may have underestimated her,” the blonde says, pained. Meena then moves one of the cops’ guns so that it hits Tanuki in the head, and does the same with the Reg’s rock so that it catches him in the chest. She then slams Promontory into a nearby building. “Yep, we might need Dilbert after all,” the heroine says. “How did it go— oh,” Quiana says upon seeing the state that our heroes are in. “Can you get Dilbert?” Sol asks. “We could have used a forcefield from him out there.” “He still needs time,” Orland says. “He’s had two weeks,” Sasha says. “Drag him out of his room if you have to. I’m not getting my a** handed to me again.” “Fine.” “Do we have a mission on Friday?” Rowena asks at school the next day. “I wasn’t gonna make you come in,” Sol says. “Why?” “Because we always go to Heliotrope after missions,” Orland says, “and they’re having a thing.” “What thing? What are you two up to?” “They’re doing a karaoke night,” Rowena explains. “Except it’s not an ordinary karaoke night,” Orland says. “It’s a couples’ mashup karaoke night. Tara and I had our songs all picked out. That is, before they started avoiding me.” “I have a good feeling about you two,” Sol says. “You’ll work things out.” “Or you won’t,” Sasha says. “What is up with you? You’ve been acting even more Sasha-like than usual.” “She almost died,” Rory says. “Dylan’s gonna be out of commission for the next six weeks. She has a right to be sullen.” “It’s April 26,” Rowena says. Sol is confused. “So? Finals are coming up on us pretty fast, but we still have a bit of time.” “No, it’s the one-year anniversary of her and Anna’s breakup.” “Oh, c**p. I didn’t realize. I’m sorry.” “That’s fine,” Sasha says. “It sounds like you could use a distraction,” Orland says. “I’m perfectly fine with blasting Rob Thomas and feeling my feelings, thank you,” comes the response. “You actually gave me an idea,” Rowena says. “No.” “Come on. You love to sing.” “I told you that in confidence. Besides, who would I even sing with?” “Quiana. We know you like her.” “Wait,” Sol says. “I don’t think that’s such a good idea.” Sasha’s apathy quickly turns to anger. “You have a problem with that?” “No. I just don’t think you should date someone on the team.” “You did. Three times.” “And each time it ended badly.” “I still don’t see what the harm is in just talking to her,” Rowena says. “Hey,” Orland says, “I thought you said she had a girlfriend.” “I did,” Sasha says. “Then what is she doing with Perfect Teeth Roberts?” Sure enough, Quiana has her head on Noelani’s shoulder. “I’m sorry,” Quiana says. “Here I am talking about my problems, and I haven’t even asked you how you’re doing after Sam.” “I’m fine,” Noelani says. “It’s a blow for sure, but we don’t need Sam or Indigo.” “Yeah.” “You know why? Because we’re both mixed-race smokeshows.” “You’re right. We’ve had broken hearts before. We’ll probably have them again. No reason to get all bent out of shape over it.” “Yeah. I’m sure there’s a great girl out there for you, just as I know there’s a great guy out there for me.” “And I might know who that girl is.” “Really? Who—” She cuts off when Sasha pins her against the wall. “Roberts.” “Sasha? If you want to talk to me, you don’t have to go to all this—” “What were you doing with Quiana?” “We’re friends. I was comforting her. She just had a really bad breakup.” “So she’s single?” She lets Noelani go. “Thanks. You’ve been a great help.” She leaves. “I don’t know how Mike put up with her,” Noelani mutters. Later that day, Orland finds Tara in the halls. “Tara, wait.” They do not. “I shouldn’t have tried to ask you to join the team. My life’s been sort of hectic lately, and I missed you. But I realized now that I shouldn’t have tried to change you.” Tara turns around. “And I shouldn’t have pushed you away. I think I was afraid you would leave, so I did it myself. But I should have known you wouldn’t do that.” “Never. You’ve been a dream this whole time, Tara. All my life, people have called me weird or tried to change me. You never did. I should have known better than to do the same to you. Do you forgive me?” “Of course I do, O.” They hug. “So, karaoke night is back on?” “It was never off. I was gonna do both parts. You wouldn’t wanna see that.” That afternoon, Orland arrives at the Silverclouds’ house. “How is he?” “You know how he is,” Adelaide says. “Doesn’t say much, but I can tell he’s hurting.” “Can I talk to him?” “Yeah, but good luck getting anything out of him.” Orland moves to go in, but is stopped by Trevor. “Booties.” “Right,” Orland says. “I know you’ve got this,” Lisha says. “He looks up to you.” Orland nods. Orland knocks on the door. “Go away,” Dilbert says. “It’s me.” “That could be anyone.” “You know who it is.” “I don’t want to talk to you.” “We could have used you yesterday.” “You don’t need me. You have a super strong vampire, not to mention a mind reader and an aerokinetic. And I haven’t even gotten to you.” “We all bring something unique to the team. Without you, how are we supposed to protect ourselves from Meena’s attacks?” “You’ll come up with something. I thought you, at the very least, would be on my side.” “There are no sides. We’re all—” “Friends? That’s just it. When we broke up the first time, we were still friends. And then with Addie, it was the same thing. I don’t know how to do this. I don’t know how to not have her in my life.” “But you’re still in my life. I miss you.” “You only came because you needed the Prestidigitator’s talents. Not Dilbert. You can’t have one or the other.” “I want both of them. Come on, we all miss you. Well, Row won’t admit it, but—” He stops. “You can’t just sit around watching TV all day and feeling sorry for yourself.” “It’s gotten me this far.” “You don’t want to be known as the guy who sat on the bench when everyone else saved the world.” Dilbert opens the door slightly. “I hate the bench. Spent enough time there in PE.” “Then come with me. I have a mission that’ll be perfect for you.” We open at a tech conference, in which visionary businessman William Dodds is revealing his latest invention to the masses. “Have you seen the news lately?” William begins. “There’s been an awful lot of shootings in coffee shops. It’s quite sad, really.” He pauses. “But, there is a solution. May I present: the CoffeeProtector, or CoffeeProt for short.” He reveals a coffee mug with a sleek gray coating. “Each mug is outfitted with state-of-the-art protective armor. It gives a whole new meaning to the phrase mugshot.” The audience chuckles. “And, for those of you who wish you had bottomless donuts to go with your nine cups of protective coffee,” he says, to more chuckles, “I have something for that as well. The Mugwai regenerates a donut under the mug for each one that is eaten, provided it is on.” The audience laughs. “Thank you for your time. And don’t forget to wake up and smell the coffee!” William departs in triumph. “What does this have to do with us?” Dylan asks once Orland shows them the clip from the tech conference. “Yeah, we’re superheroes, not Steve Jobs’ secret police,” Rory quips. “Although, working for the head of Apple wouldn’t be a bad gig,” Dilbert says. “That way, I could finally get the free U2 album back on my phone.” “I’m glad you’re back, Dilbert,” Ginny says. “This place wasn’t the same without you.” “Thank you.” “Have you guys seen any superhero show?” Orland asks. “Whenever a billionaire invents a new piece of technology, it is almost always acquired by criminals for nefarious uses.” “Key word being almost,” Sasha points out. “Maybe this isn’t one of those times.” “You seem oddly chipper,” Rory says. “How was your talk with Roberts?” “You talked to Noelani?” Quiana asks. “I didn’t think you two ran in the same circles.” “I generally try to avoid her circle,” Sasha says, “but it was fine. She gave me the information I needed.” “It is our duty to be on call for whatever Dodds’ inventions may or may not have in store for us,” Sol reminds them. “I’ve been a cheerleader for four years now. Don’t lecture me on duty.” “In case you haven’t noticed, she’s the boss,” Orland says. “Lecturing is kind of part of her job description.” “Whatever we do or don’t do, it's up to Sol,” Dilbert continues. “That’s a lot of power for any one person to have,” Ginny opines. “Well, she deserves it. She’s smart, funny, and pretty, not to mention one of the most kick-a** vampires in the Western United States,” Dilbert says. “Is that— is that okay to say?” “Yes, it’s okay. He did a study,” Sol says, and everyone chuckles. “And by the way, Sasha, we’ve been in marching band for four years now, so don’t try and lecture us about commitment,” Orland points out. “And I’ve been in the band for—” Dylan starts. Ginny says, “Best not to start that debate, Dylan.” Dylan reluctantly shuts up. “So we agree to be on call for any technological mishaps,” Quiana says. “Sounds like a normal day at my grandparents’ house,” Dilbert quips. “Tell me about it,” Rowena agrees. “Which reminds me, I’ve gotta go. I’ll meet you guys at City Hall.” “What exactly are we doing here?” Officer Landry asks Tanzanite. “The Metamorphosis needs funding and an army. Who better to provide those than the Council of Magical Creatures?” Tanzanite asks rhetorically. “I don’t know, the city Treasury? Council of what now?” “You’ll see.” “Remind me again why we are assembled here today?” centauric representative John asks of the Council. “This human—” pixie representative Tina starts. Joseph interrupts her. “Enhanced human.” “—has summoned us here to ask for our aid in a massive undertaking,” she finishes. “The Metamorphosis,” Tanzanite speaks up for the first time. “And why should we help you?” Danielle sneers, fangs bared. “I hate superheroes,” Meena begins, removing her mask. “Don’t you? I know you do, Councilwoman Torres.” Danielle nods cautiously. “They say they have our best interests at heart,” Meena continues. “But all they do is destroy our cities. Look at Ocean City. Anita Grayson’s rampage was only brought on because Promontory decided to take up the cowl. Kira Bay’s attack was triggered by Humberto Diaz’s reappearance. Wesaeec was ravaged by the Jacobs siblings, who were angered by Valiant and her team of misfits. The centaurs took American politics by storm, all because of Promontory’s meddling.” John glares at her for this. “Bad example. But, anyway, superheroes cause destruction.” “What do you propose?” Tina says. “I don’t want to kill them. I want to cure them. I have a serum that removes any and all superhuman abilities.” “If this cure is so great,” at-large goblin representative Ralph says, “why haven’t you taken it yourself?” For the first time, Meena stutters. “I’m … sorry?” “You have superhuman abilities. It’s a fair question.” “I only have a limited amount of the cure. I want to save it for known threats. All I’m asking for is an army and some funds to fight them. Take your time,” she says. “We will think about it,” Danielle promises. “That was super cool how you made those raccoons leave,” Felicia says to Dilbert at their grandparents’ house. “You really sent them packing,” Josephine adds. “I love raccoons,” Catherine says. “Why did you have to make them leave?” “They were being a nuisance,” Graham says as he enters the room. “They were attracting the Taotaomona,” Henrietta opines. “No, they weren’t,” Dilbert counters. “How do you know?” Henrietta asks. “Oh, toca si Dilbert. You’re gonna bring them back.” “I wouldn’t start that argument if I were you,” Graham whispers to Dilbert. “Noted,” he responds. “I wish I could make the raccoons come back,” Catherine announces. “Now why would you—” Josephine starts, but is interrupted when the raccoons suddenly appear inside the house by Catherine’s side. “This is the opposite of getting rid of them,” Graham points out. “Dilbert, do something.” “Yeah, I know, Papa,” Dilbert responds. “I’m trying.” But before he can do so, Felicia unknowingly evicts the gaze of raccoons by focusing her innate magical abilities. “Did I do that?” she asks innocently. Suddenly, Josephine turns into a raccoon, and Felicia moves to evict her as well. “Lisha, I think you forgot one,” Catherine says, indicating her sister’s new form. However, she is stopped by Dilbert, who puts his arm in front of his sister. Just then, Dilbert receives a call. “Really?” he asks incredulously. “Yes, I’m on my way,” he confirms. “Guys, I have to go,” he announces hurriedly. “We’ll unpack all of this,” he indicates the still—procyonine Josephine, “later." Minutes later, the Prestidigitator joins the team at City Hall, where Victoria Langham is shooting up the place in an attempt to test the CoffeeProts. “What did I tell you?” Lighthouse says over comms. “Something always goes wrong.” “Victoria again?” Promontory asks. “I thought she agreed to not do anything stupid.” “And you trust her? A criminal?” Tanuki asks. “This would’ve been so much easier with Fleet,” Defender adds. “With her, we would’ve been done already.” Just then, Promontory whips out a sword and yells, “Victoria! Drop your weapon!” Dilbert looks on in shock. “You drop yours first,” Victoria replies, in typical villain fashion. While Sol has Victoria distracted, Defender moves to knock her down, and succeeds. Meanwhile, the Council is debating whether or not to give Meena fiscal support for her nefarious plans. “I say we do it,” Joseph says. “Yeah, those ‘superheroes’ sound like they aren’t very heroic,” Sofia opines. “They are heroic,” Addie counters. “Crime was way up in Ocean City before Team Tory showed up. Now, it’s virtually nonexistent.” “It sounds like someone here is biased,” John sneers. “Does little Addie have a soft spot for the heroes?” Tina asks, in a maddening baby voice. Addie hisses at her. “She used to be one of them, you know,” Danielle says, making everyone except Addie, Aubrey, and Marie gasp. “Aubrey, you like Dylan, right? You have to back me up on this,” Addie implores. “You had a relationship with one of them?” Tina asks incredulously. “It wasn’t a relationship,” Audrey practically spits the word. “Words were said, and feelings were felt. But it’s done. I don’t feel anything for him.” “Then, you will have no problem voting to give Meena her funds,” John says. “Yeah, of course,” Audrey affirms, causing Addie to give her a look. “I love what you haven’t done with the place,” Victoria snarks at the Summit. “I have to say, I’m disappointed in you, Victoria,” Sol says. “Yeah, I thought you were better than this,” Rory says. “I didn’t think so,” Quiana says. Sasha chuckles. “Welcome,” Ginny says in her best tour—guide impression. “I will be your guide to the Ravine this evening.” “Wait. First, she has to tell us about Meena. We know you’re working for her,” Dilbert says. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Victoria replies. “Don’t bother,” Orland advises. “Man, you’ve had some bad luck. First Kira, then Rapture, and now Meena. It’s almost like you’re gullible or something.” “I suggest you watch it,” Victoria threatens. “Or what?” Sol asks, revealing Victoria’s gun in her jacket. “Careful with that thing,” Dilbert says. “Hey, why didn’t you bring that to the precinct when you interrogated Landry?” Dylan asks. “Ignore him,” Rowena suggests. “He sometimes asks dumb questions.” “More like most of the time,” Rory corrects her. “Hey,” Dylan says. “Where is Meena?” Ginny inquires. “I told you, I have no idea,” Victoria persists. “You must know something,” Quiana says. “Anything you could tell us would be helpful,” Dilbert says. “She did mention something about … the Metamorphosis,” Victoria reveals. “But that’s all I know. I wasn’t sure what caterpillars had to do with her evil plan.” “That is her evil plan,” Orland says, realization dawning across his face. “The Enhancement, Tau Protocol. It’s all happening again.” “I feel it coming together,” Quiana sings. Sol stares at her, dumbfounded. “Fame,” Sasha explains. “It’s a classic dance song.” “I love it when a plan comes together,” Dylan says, referencing The A-Team. “No, you don’t, not this plan,” Dilbert says. “Come together, right now, over me,” Sasha sings. Just then, a water pitcher teleports onto Ginny’s head, and she falls to the ground. “This is why I don’t sing,” Sasha says loudly. “Is it Meena?” Orland asks. “Is she starting the Metamorphosis?” “Oh, something tells me the Metamorphosis has already begun,” Dilbert says. “But I don’t think that’s her. The pitcher appeared over Ginny’s head, suddenly.” “Almost like it teleported there,” Rory catches on. “Just like Gordon,” Orland says. “Or Nightcrawler,” Dylan adds. “Don’t forget Glimmer,” Quiana says. “How do we fight someone that can just yeet water pitchers at us at any time?” “We have something that the Princess of Bright Moon didn’t have,” Sol says, taking out her gun. “If Victoria does anything else stupid, we can shoot her. And this telekinetic meta, too.” “Hey, Sol,” Dilbert says, “can I talk to you for a second?” “What is it?” Sol asks. “You don’t like my plan? Don’t tell me you’ve developed a soft spot for Victoria. Lord knows it wouldn’t be the first time.” “No, that’s not it,” Dilbert says. “What is it, then?” “We don’t use guns.” “We do now. It’s the best way to maintain our advantage over Victoria.” “You should have told me.” “We’re not together anymore. You know that, right? I don’t have to tell you everything.” “When it comes to Team Tory stuff, you do. We’re in this together, whether you like it or not. Me, you, and Orland. The core three. Everything has to be approved by all of us.” “Yeah, but we all know I’m the clear leader.” “You could have told me.” “You could have trusted me.” “I do trust you. I just don’t trust that thing. Guns are a recipe for disaster. If it gets into the wrong hands, it could be tragic.” “Then I’ll make sure that doesn’t happen. Do you approve of that?” Sol leaves. “How do we stop—” Quiana starts. Orland interrupts her. “Row? Are you getting a donut?” “Not a donut,” Rowena replies, donut all over her face. “This is my third so far. They just keep appearing. It’s like magic.” “Or science,” Rory says. “This must be another of William Dodds’ inventions, like the CoffeeProt.” “And the pitcher,” Dilbert adds. “Okay, we have to find this guy,” Sol says. “But one of us has to stay here and watch Victoria. Sasha, I choose you.” She hands her the gun; Sasha’s expression is one of befuddlement. “Because I sang ‘Come Together?’” Sasha asks, although she knows the answer, and the team is already gone. “We are gathered now to vote on the resolution to grant resources to Meena Goswani in her anti—superhero crusade,” Joseph declares. “The Metamorphosis,” Meena corrects. “I vote aye,” Joseph votes. Meena’s face lights up; Addie is dismayed. “I vote nay,” Addie votes loudly. “Aye,” Tina says. “Of course those two vote together,” Addie mutters. “What was that, Councilwoman Quick?” John asks. “Nothing, Councilman Quinteros,” she says at normal volume. “Good. Moving on,” he says. “I vote aye.” “Aye,” Ralph says. “Aye,” Aubrey votes. “What? I thought you were with me on this, Aubrey,” Addie says, shocked. “I support you,” Aubrey whispers to Addie, “but I can’t do anything about it. You’re gonna lose anyway.” Addie pouts. “Aye,” ubir representative Sofia votes, followed by Danielle and Marie. “It is decided,” Joseph declares. “Miss Goswani, you will have the full support of the Council of Magical Creatures.” “Excellent,” she replies matter-of-factly and starts to leave. “Wait,” Tina commands. “Take this.” She gives Meena a summoning device. “This will help you retrieve your army.” “Thank you,” Meena says, bowing, and departs. “Okay, let’s be cautious about this,” the Prestidigitator advises once the team is in position at Dodds Industries. “Yeah,” Quiana agrees. “We wouldn’t wanna go in there like—” “William Dodds!” Promontory yells. “Like that,” Defender finishes. “What did I do? And who are you?” Dodds asks. “Your inventions, they’re causing havoc all over Ocean City,” Promontory continues. “You have to recall them.” “I don’t know what you’re talking about—” Dodds begins, but is interrupted when a teleporting water pitcher appears over him, and is caught by Tanuki. “Man, these things are heavy. Do they come pre—filled?” she asks. “Why, yes, they do, actually,” Dodds says, surprising everyone except Tanuki. “It saves my customers a bit of work, since they paid so much for the First Pitch.” “How much?” Tanuki asks. “And why is it called that?” Lighthouse chimes in over comms. “This whole side chatter is really not helping,” the Prestidigitator says annoyedly. By this point, everyone has a water pitcher in their hands, and the regenerative donuts start entering the place in force, followed by gunfire that targets said donuts to create force fields, encapsulating several Dodds Industries employees. “Meena,” Promontory says under her breath. “We have to get you out of here, Mr. Dodds,” the Prestidigitator says. “I couldn’t agree more,” he responds hurriedly. “Wait,” Promontory says. “What about the employees?” “Oh, that’s light work,” Quiana says. “I’ll take Dodds,” Tanuki says. “Cover me, Promontory.” “Presto, I’m gonna need a boost.” She throws her syringes, and the Prestidigitator enhances them to penetrate the force fields. “Meena, if you’re listening, this isn’t over,” Tory yells in the direction of the firestorm. “I heard about what happened on the news,” Josephine tells Dilbert. “I’m glad you’re okay,” Felicia says. “That’s sweet,” Dilbert replies. “What kind of donuts were they?” Catherine asks. “I don’t— That’s not important right now,” Dilbert says. “We need to figure out how your guys’ magical abilities work.” “I just wished for the raccoons to leave,” Felicia explains, “and then they did.” “Then, I wished for them to come back, and then they did,” Catherine continues. “It’s not that hard to get.” “Okay, Catherine. What about you, Josephine?” he asks. “I was thinking about the annoying raccoons,” she emphasizes the word, “and then I was one.” “Well, then how are you—” “I thought about how great being a human is, and then I wasn’t a raccoon anymore,” she explains. “Whoa, that’s just like that episode of Star Trek,” Orland says. “‘Where No One Has Gone Before,’” Sol adds. “That was a good one.” “I found it too confusing,” Sasha opines. “You find everything too confusing,” Rowena points out. “That’s true,” she admits. “Guys, get out of here,” Dilbert requests. “I’m trying to have a chat with my sister and cousins.” “Fine,” Sol says. “You don’t have to be so mean about it,” Sasha points out. “I’m not— Okay, your powers are unlike anything that we’ve encountered, and we’ve seen some stuff,” Dilbert says. “So, as you can imagine, I’m very excited to explore them.” Josephine and Felicia express their excitement verbally. Catherine does not. “Rest up,” Dilbert advises. “Training starts tomorrow.” The next day, Sasha catches Quiana at school. “Quiana, wait.” “What?” She steels herself. “I don’t care what Sol says, I’m just gonna say this. I like you. I’ve liked you ever since I met you. I want to be the Bow to your Glimmer. I want to be your girlfriend.” “Finally.” Now it’s Sasha’s turn to be surprised. “What?” “You weren’t exactly subtle.” “I’m a cheerleader. Subtle isn’t my thing. So what do you say?” “I’d like that.” They kiss. “So, Heliotrope has a karaoke night on Friday. Got any more slightly obscure musical knowledge in there?” “I might have something.” At Heliotrope, Orland and Tara treat the crowd to a rousing mash-up of Toto’s “Afraid of Love” and Night Ranger’s “When You Close Your Eyes.” “Nice job,” Sol says. “You’ve got pipes, Orland.” “Thank you,” he says. “That mission sure was something,” Ginny remarks. “Understatement of the millennium.” “I thought it was exciting,” Quiana says. “Like we were in an X-Men movie or something.” “Yeah, what a feeling,” Sasha says. She and Ginny share a look at the second Irene Cara reference. “And it’s only getting started,” Dilbert adds. “Hey, Sol, thanks for supporting me back there.” “Of course,” Sol says. She indicates Orland. “Core three, right, Orland?” “I don’t know what this is,” Orland says, “but it’s nice to be included.” “Orland,” Dilbert says, “why did you say that this mission would be perfect for me?” “I know you hate coffee, and would enjoy seeing people’s obsession with it backfire on them.” “That’s true.” “Where did Meena even get those weapons?” Dylan asks. “There’s only one possibility — she has a 3-D printer,” Rory says. “Or she got the support of the council,” Sol says. “My head still hurts,” Ginny says, “but I think you said that Meena has the Council of Magical Creatures on her side.” Sol nods. “Man, that’s a sobering thought.” “She just became public enemy number one,” Quiana says. “But we’re not giving up,” Rowena declares. “We’re gonna give her hell.” “I’ll drink to that,” Sol says, and raises her glass of lemonade. The others do the same. “But first,” Sasha says, “we have something else to give you.” She and Quiana perform a mash-up of Rob Thomas’ “Lonely No More” and Rixton’s “Me and My Broken Heart.” In the Deposit (her lair), Meena says to Landry, “Get Dodds on the phone.” “Yes, ma’am.” He does so. “William Dodds?” Meena asks. “This is he.” “I have a proposition for you.” “I’m listening.”
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A wolf rampages through an Ocean City park at night. Citizens run away in terror as it trashes the place, seemingly attacking everything in sight, including people and dogs. Someone takes out their phone to call Animal Control, but before they do, the wolf reverts back to its original form: Ophelia, who looks on, horrified, at the extent of damage she has caused.
At the Summit, Sol, now with red-orange streaks in her hair, is once again trying to determine the cause of her mysterious lack of speed. “Have you had any suspicious contact lately?” Orland asks. “‘Suspicious contact,’” Sol repeats. “I don’t really like people touching me.” “I can attest to that,” Dilbert says. “It’s almost annoying, like, I walk up to her and—” he goes to touch Sol, and she turns away. “See?” “Dilbert, we talked about bound—” “Boundaries, right. I like the streaks. Can I—” She turns away again. “Okay.” “When did you first notice that your speed was gone?” Rory says. “I think it was in November,” she says. “November 25,” Dilbert says. “How do you remember that?” Rowena asks. “I’ve always been blessed with a great memory,” Dilbert says. “Great. Knows everything and has a great memory,” Sasha says. “We all might as well leave. Dilbert can do this all by himself.” “Now, you know I can’t do that,” Dilbert responds. “Can you think back to that day?” Ginny asks. “Anything you could tell us might be helpful,” Quiana adds. She is wearing khaki shorts that reach almost to her knee and the same orange socks from before. “Why are they even here?” Orland asks. “They might be working with Meena.” “We’re not—” Ginny starts to say. Sasha cuts her off. “Wait. I know you. You’re the one who—” Sol makes a “finger across neck” gesture. “Killed herself? Yeah, multiple times.” “No, not that. You’re not the first dead girl here. You’re the chick who almost blew up the performing arts center sophomore year.” “I was hoping you forgot about that.” “I have a great memory for events when I almost died. Of which there have been way too many.” “Don’t be so hard on her,” Quiana says. “It wasn’t her fault.” “How do you know? Do you have some empathic powers we don’t know about?” Sasha says, with a mischievous look on her face. “No. But I have a keen emotional acuity.” The mischievous look turns into a smirk. “Oh, really? And where’d you get that? The Girl Scouts Emotion badge?” “Yes, actually.” “Anyway, I was out on patrol,” Sol begins. “It was a Thursday night,” Orland jests. “It was dark and stormy,” Dylan adds. “Can you let me tell the story?” Sol says. “Sorry.” “Anyway, it was dark, but thankfully not stormy,” Sol continues. “I went out on patrol for Rapture agents, and was caught by a cop. He was extremely patronizing.” “Was it Officer Landry? I remember that guy,” Sasha says. “I didn’t catch the name.” “What’s the matter with Officer Landry?” Dilbert asks innocently. “He’s not the most receptive to our little vigilante initiative,” Orland answers. He nods knowingly. “Ah.” “He gave me his whole ‘these streets are very dangerous’ speech,” Sol continues, “and then he patted me on the shoulder.” “Ooh, physical contact,” Sasha teases. “Yeah, that must’ve been terrible for you,” Quiana says. “You’re a vampire. Isn’t physical contact your whole thing?” “Well, this is something that we can work with,” Orland says. “Yes, Officer Landry could’ve injected something that dampens your speed,” Dilbert agrees. “But it didn’t hurt or anything,” Sol says. “It was just extremely annoying.” She notices Sasha’s smirk returning. “You know what else is extremely annoying?” Sasha says. “Being interrupted all the time?” “Your mom.” Quiana smiles. “Then it would have to be a magical speed dampener,” Dilbert reasons. “But where would Landry get his hands on such a thing?” Sasha asks. “Meena,” Ginny thinks aloud. “She’s been under our noses the entire time.” “While we were out fighting the centaurs and assembling the Council, Meena was making friends in the police force,” Sol says. “It makes me wonder who else she’s friends with,” Orland says. “We should look into that,” Dilbert agrees. Just then, Ophelia walks into the Summit, clearly distraught. Her clothes are all torn. She talks very quickly, running her words together, but Dilbert is able to make out “What is happening to me?” among them. “Slow down, Ophelia,” Dilbert says. “Talk us through it.” “Well, I was walking home from cheer practice,” Ophelia begins. “Wait, they have cheerleading in the spring?” Rory immediately asks. Sol looks at him. That’s your main hold-up with this? “The school decided that the baseball team needed more support. Anyway, I was walking home,” she continues, “and I suddenly started changing.” “And you got mad at your clothes?” Sasha says. Quiana chuckles. “Well, I was no longer in control, you see,” Ophelia tries to explain. “Do you think it’s the centaurs?” “I don’t think so,” Dilbert says. “Remember, the centaurs can’t give someone magic. I think there’s another possibility.” “What is everyone not saying?” Dylan says. “Are you … a werewolf?” Sol asks. “That would explain why I attacked those people’s dogs,” Ophelia reasons. “Oh, no,” Orland exclaims. “There’s canine collateral damage? I don’t think I can do this.” He rushes out of the room. “Can you go after him?” Sasha asks Dilbert, like it goes without saying. “Yep,” he says, and departs. “Wait. Hold on a second,” Ginny says. “Werewolves exist? Is no one gonna take a second and let that sink in?” “We knew about them since last year, when Aubrey Tennyson became the first werewolf-vampire hybrid,” Rowena explains. “Well, those are three words I’ve never heard together, and never want to again.” “Who are they?” Ophelia asks. “These are the new recruits, Ginny and Quiana. Guys, this is Ophelia, our resident … wolf. We can help you through your transition. Row’s a shifter. She can help you control it.” “And Dilbert has a bunch of books on everything,” Sasha adds. “So there has to be one for magical transformations,” Quiana reasons. Sasha bites her lip. “I bet I can find it before you, Girl Scout.” “Quiana,” Sol says, “you and Ginny can help Dilbert find a book for Ophelia. Sasha, I need you here with the rest of us to help me get my speed back.” “I wasn’t sure about moving here at first,” Rory says at school the next day, “but I love Ocean City in April. The flowers, the cool breeze.” “Oh, no,” Sasha says. “It’s April.” “It’s been April for eight days, Sash,” Rowena says. “Why? What’s the problem?” “April comes with Girl Scout cookies.” “I’m sure Quiana will save us some.” “I wouldn’t want to bother her.” “Bother?” Dylan says. “Your whole thing is being a bother.” “Well, it might be against Scout code—” “I knew it,” Rory says. “You were flirting with her, weren’t you?” “I was not.” “Oh, give me a break. You bit your lip. That’s about the s*xiest thing a girl can do is bite her lip.” “It’s true,” Dylan says. “Okay, fine, even if I was, I’m so out of practice after Anna. I don’t even know if she’s gay.” “I do,” Rowena says. “See her socks?” “They’re orange. So what?” “Those are Velma’s socks. They’re a well-known symbol of sapphic sisterhood. Who’s the bi one here?” “Alright,” she says derisively. “Sorry I’m not a nerd.” “Plus, no straight girl would be caught dead wearing those shorts.” “So your theory is based on clothes? Strong theory.” “Clothes and intuition,” Rory says. “And a superhero’s intuition is never wrong,” Dylan adds. Sasha is not convinced. “Yeah, I don’t know about that. But let’s say you’re right. What if she doesn’t like me? I don’t want to mess up the group dynamic any more than I did last time. Or like Sol and Dilbert did - again.” “Of course she likes you,” Rory says. “She laughed at your jokes, even though they were bad.” “Plus, you have a secret weapon,” Rowena says. The blonde is skeptical. “The school got even stricter after the Climacteric. I can’t even bring my favorite knives anymore.” “No, Sash. Your smile. It draws people in. It drew me in. That’s why I went to Connecticut, because I knew if I had to face you again, I couldn’t leave.” “Just talk to her,” Dylan says. He notices Quiana standing very close to another girl. “Oh, no. Looks like you’re too late.” “Not necessarily,” Rowena says. “Maybe they’re just frien—” She cuts off when the two kiss. “You don’t need to be a super-sleuth to deduce that one.” “The book should be around here somewhere,” Dilbert is saying in his study. “I’d be more worried if it isn’t,” Ginny opines. “Yeah, we’d be dealing with our first thief—” Quiana starts, then changes her mind — “second thief. First book thief, though.” “That was a great movie,” Dilbert says. “The Book Thief.” “Never saw it,” Ginny replies. Dilbert gives her a quick quizzical look. “I just hope your mythical book can help me make this go away,” Ophelia says. “Otherwise I’d have to deal with my transitions” — she emphasizes the word — “forever.” “I know we’ll find it,” Dilbert says. “This is the type of thing I can handle. I can’t do…” — he pauses — “human stuff very well. But magic, supernatural creatures such as yourself, that’s my jam.” “Here it is,” Quiana says, as if on cue. “The Troubles of Transformation,” Ginny reads. “Snazzy title.” “All the best titles are alliterative,” Dilbert agrees. “You two are gross,” Ophelia says. “Rude,” Ginny responds. “Oh, here we go. Lycanthropy is a genetic condition, and it activates when the person is scratched.” “I was definitely scratched, all right.” “How are we gross?” Dilbert and Ginny both say at the same time. “You can deny it all you want, but I know there’s a connection between you guys,” Ophelia says. “But you’re with Sol, right?” Ginny says. “No, not anymore,” Dilbert reveals, causing Ophelia to gasp. “I promise you, there’s nothing going on between Ginny and—” He is interrupted by a call from his grandfather, Graham Murphy. “Sorry. I have to take this.” He leaves. “Raccoons?” Dilbert is asking incredulously. “I’ll be right there,” he says. “I have to go. My grandparents have a gaze of raccoons in their backyard.” “Is that what a group of raccoons are called?” Quiana asks. “Well, I’d best be taking this,” Ophelia says. “I’ll call if I need any more help.” “You know the way out. Ginny, Quiana, with me,” Dilbert says, and they depart. “How are we gonna get Officer Landry to give Sol her speed back?” Dylan asks. “What if he can’t control it?” Orland says. “That’s ridiculous. He put in the device. He should be able to take it out,” Rowena says. “No, Orland could be right. What if Meena never briefed him on the rest of the plan,” Sasha says. “Well, then he must know something,” Sol says. “I’ll go down to the station tomorrow and see what he knows. Orland, with me.” “Why me?” he asks. “You said you wanted to be out in the field more,” Sol reminds him. “This is your chance.” “What’s the sitch?” Ginny asks upon entering Dilbert’s grandparents’ yard. “I’ve always wanted to say that.” “The first one showed up two weeks ago,” Graham says. “We thought it was harmless. Dilbert’s cousins even named him Rocky.” “But then came Rebecca,” Henrietta chimes in. “And then they started chasing away the native wildlife. We had to do something.” “Did you have an exterminator inspect the site?” Dilbert says, super—formally. “Of course we did,” Henrietta Silvercloud says. “April is a low month for exterminators,” Quiana reveals, as if to say, Duh! “The exterminator was unable to trap the raccoons,” Graham Murphy informs them, “the wily creatures.” “You said that the raccoons had been there for some time,” Ginny says. “How come you didn’t notice them sooner?” “I—” “Well, you know, his vision is poor,” Henrietta says. “Oh, I’m familiar,” Dilbert says. We cut to Graham driving Dilbert to school for a music rehearsal. “Okay, we’re gonna wanna stay in the right lane,” the latter says. “Why?” the former asks. “It doesn’t matter, does it?” Apparently, he didn’t see the cones that were dividing the two lanes. “Well, it doesn’t exactly matter—” So, he drove over them. People were waving at them, but they didn’t know why. It was very nerve-racking. Once Dilbert started to catch on, he rolled down the window. They were pointing toward the cones under the car. Dilbert got out, and took the cones out from under it with significant effort. He then made his way to rehearsal as if nothing had happened. We cut back to the Murphy household. “They called me Conehead for a week,” Dilbert reveals. Quiana stifles a snicker. “So what do you want us to do?” “Use your magic,” Henrietta answers. “Make them go away.” “I don’t know if I have a spell for that,” Dilbert says. “Just do your standard obfuscation spell,” Ginny suggests. “Obfuscation?” Graham frowns. “With this spell, the raccoons will—” Dilbert starts. “Make themselves scarce,” Henrietta finishes. “That’s the idea,” Dilbert confirms. “Are you okay?” Henrietta asks, stunning Dilbert. “Yeah, I’m fine. The raccoon gaze was a little wrench in my plan, but other than that—” “No, I mean about Solara.” “Oh, that?” Dilbert hesitates. “I’m okay. Nothing to talk about there,” he finally manages, not sounding convincing even to himself. “Well, if you change your mind, you know where to find us.” “Thank you.” Dilbert turns to Quiana. “You got them all over here?” “Yes,” she affirms. “Fuscus nobis,” Dilbert chants, and repeats it several times. Nothing happens. “Why didn’t it work?” Ginny asks. “I’m not sure,” Dilbert states. “Well, you gave it your best effort,” Henrietta says. “I guess we’ll just have to gaze at the raccoon gaze for the rest of time,” Graham adds wistfully. “No, we’re not done yet,” Dilbert promises. “We’re not?” Quiana asks quizzically. “Nope. I know someone we can ask,” he says, “although I wasn’t hoping to use her. We didn’t end things on the best of terms, you see.” Ginny and Quiana look at each other, perplexed. Sol and Orland are outside the police precinct. “You sure we shouldn’t wait for Dilbert?” Orland says. “He has a way with cops.” “Nah,” Sol says. “We’ve got this.” They enter the precinct. “How may I help you?” the secretary asks politely. “We’re looking for an Officer Landry,” Sol replies. “Is he around here?” “Yep, Landry is in today,” the secretary answers. “Right this way.” She leads Sol and Orland to Landry, who is at his desk struggling with paperwork. “Paperwork. She’s a b***h, am I right?” Orland jokes, and is met with a cold reception from the officers. “Who are you—wait, I feel like I know you,” Landry says to Sol. “Why do I feel like I know you?” “You must have me mistaken for someone else,” Sol says sweetly. “But on an unrelated note, can we talk to you, privately?” “About,” Landry asks before Orland nudges a very convincing-looking fake gun into his chest. “Now,” Sol says. “We know about your stance on vigilantism,” Sol tells Landry once they leave the main floor of the precinct. “Yeah. I’m not shy about it—wait, are you those heroes who—” Sol pushes Landry against the wall, baring her fangs as she does so. “Why did you take away Promontory’s speed?” she growls. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Landry replies, before Sol places her fangs extremely close to Landry’s neck. “I think you do. From the moment you touched her, she couldn’t use her speed. What are you and Tanzanite planning?” “I don’t know what she’s planning,” Landry answers. “She just told me to touch Promontory, and put this chip in her shoulder, disconnecting her from the speedverse, for lack of a better term. She said she wanted her out of commission for the Metamorphosis, whatever that is. Please don’t tell anyone. If my friends find out that I was extorted by a teenage girl, I’ll never hear the end of it.” “Look around,” Orland tells him, before Sol nudges him. She says, “We won’t tell, if you don’t make us tell.” “Deal,” he promises. “You don’t know anything about the chip?” Sol asks. “Anything at all?” “I said no,” Landry says, clearly annoyed. “Good day, Officer Landry,” Sol says as they exit the precinct. “Stay safe, miss,” he yells back. “See? We don’t need Dilbert after all. That was a fake gun, right, Orland?” “Yep,” Orland says proudly. “Not too shabby, huh?” “I’m impressed.” “Well, it’s mine. You can’t have it.” “Not that you need it. You have me. And all of us.” “I know, but I want to at least project an image of toughness, not just the lame sidekick.” “You’re not lame. I need you, too, you know, to come up with some genius plan to stop this Metamorphosis.” “You mean you need Dilbert to come up with a plan, and I can just sit in the Summit and do nothing.” “I don’t know,” she says thoughtfully. “Be ready. You might have to step up.” “So what’s the deal with this meta?” Ginny asks Dilbert. “Her name is Jane Goodman,” Dilbert explains. “We named her Coati. She had extended claws that she used for nefarious purposes.” “But everyone’s powers changed after the Climacteric,” Quiana recalls. “So why are we coming to her now?” “Ah, you’re a quick study. Most people’s powers did change. But she still has knowledge of how to act like a coati—” “A close relative of the raccoon,” Ginny finishes. “Exactly.” “Jane. Lovely to see you again,” Dilbert lies. “Again? You’ve never visited me,” Jane says, her words dripping with disgust. “I’m sure one of us has. Anyway, we need a favor,” Dilbert continues. “Dilbert here has a gaze of raccoons in his grandparents’ yard, and he has to lure them away,” Ginny explains. “What, is he afraid of them?” Jane asks incredulously. “They’re becoming a bit of a nuisance,” Dilbert says. “What makes you think I’m gonna help you?” Jane inquires. “You want to feel useful for once, instead of rotting in this cell for the rest of time,” Quiana says. “I’m not so sure about that. I don’t know what use the world has for me anymore, now that I’m a convicted criminal,” she reminds her. “We’ll give you a tarp and some pillows,” Dilbert promises. “Fine. You have to find something scarier than the raccoons, and use it to lure them away,” Jane says. “Like a bear? How are we gonna be able to—” Ginny starts. Dilbert says, “I have an idea.” “You’ve got to bribe them,” he says to Quiana. “I see,” she says. “So, what’s the plan here?” Quiana asks once they get all situated. “On my mark, Ophelia is going to run up the hill like Max Mayfield,” Dilbert says, “and the raccoons will follow. Simple, really.” “With you guys,” Ophelia says, “nothing is ever simple.” “She’s right,” Rowena agrees. “You came?” Dilbert asks excitedly. “Of course we came,” Sol affirms. “You needed someone to watch your back.” “A clear diss, but I’m gonna ignore it,” Ginny says. “On three, Ophelia. One, two, three,” Dilbert commands, and Ophelia begins to transform. She does so, and is able to lure the raccoons into a neighbor’s yard, though not entirely without difficulty. A few are reluctant to go, so the rest of the team helps herd them. “Man, it’s like herding cats,” Sasha yells. “Worse. It’s herding raccoons,” Dilbert yells back. Ginny chuckles, but the rest of them are too busy evading Ophelia and the raccoons to hear his joke. They return to the Summit, where Rory is distraught. “Come on, Rory, we’re going out to celebrate.” “The cure,” he says. “It’s gone. All of it.” Sol and Sasha are walking to Heliotrope. “Hey, about before,” Sol says, “I wasn’t trying to keep you away from Quiana. You know I support you.” “I know.” “I just wanted her away from the research because Meena might have turned her, too.” “I don’t think she did.” “I hope you’re right.” She bares her fangs. “I’m gonna go and scare up a table for us.” Sasha notices Rowena smiling. “Why are you so chipper? We go to Heliotrope all the time.” “True,” Rowena says, “but we’ve never gone with her.” She indicates Quiana. “Are we still doing this? She doesn’t like me.” “There’s one way we can find out for sure,” Rory says. “Use the Andi Mack test. If she looks back when she leaves, it means she likes you.” “Does that work?” “It has for me.” “Damn. I really thought I was being subtle with her before.” “Nope,” Rowena says. “You were about as subtle as a brick.” “Well done, Ophelia,” Dilbert compliments her at Heliotrope. “We couldn’t have done it without you,” Quiana adds. “That’s for sure,” she says, and drinks from her glass of lemonade. “Hey, thank you for helping me. I wasn’t sure you would.” “Why wouldn’t we?” Sol says sincerely. “Well, aren’t vampires and werewolves supposed to be bitter rivals?” “I judge people’s character rather than things they can’t control.” “I should be going. I have a big exam tomorrow.” “Good luck,” Ginny says. “I could help you study,” Sol says. “We could make it a group study sesh,” Rory says. “Great,” Dilbert says. “I’ll come too.” Everyone is silent. “Dilbert,” Orland says, “I don’t think that’s such a good idea.” “Yeah, you’re right. What was I thinking? You all are too busy focusing on Sol to support me. I expected this from most of you, but Orland?” He departs. “Give him time, O,” Rory says. “Ophelia seems nice,” Ginny comments after she leaves. “So, any progress on your speed?” “Some,” Sol says. “We found Landry, but he didn’t know anything about the chip or how to get her speed back,” Orland says. “Why don’t we just take it out?” Sasha suggests. “It might be connected to her,” Rory points out. “Part of her biology,” Quiana adds. “That’s a nasty trick,” Rowena opines. “I’ll have to run a complete scan,” Rory says. “I’ll help you with that,” Quiana says. She looks outside. “I have to go. My mom’s here.” Rory gives Sasha a look. Quiana leaves, but — wait for it — she looks back. “You didn’t tell them anything, did you?” Meena asks Landry in her evil lair. “No, of course not.” “Good. Because the next stage of the Metamorphosis is about to begin,” she says darkly. Content warning: violence
Previously on: While out on patrol, Promontory is caught by a police officer, who touches her on the shoulder. She soon finds that her superspeed is gone. In the midst of the final battle of the Climacteric, Promontory spots the centaurian leader. “There! That’s the one we want! Everyone, close in! We can’t let him get away!” “Impressive leadership skills. I take it you’re heading this whole operation?” Sol turns around to see a woman in a … server’s outfit? “And I take it you’re not really a server.” The “server” pulls out a gun and shoots one of the controlled humans. “No, I’m not.” “And yes, I am the leader of this gang of teenage misfits. I’m not from here, though.” She offers her hand. “Promontory.” “Hey, if you’re interested, we’re always looking for recruits like you. We pay for your college, you know.” “Thanks. I’ll keep that in mind.” “I don’t see any Rap—” The Prestidigitator is interrupted when they are ambushed by Rapture agents led by the one they saw in Greenwood, who knock him down and knock Fleet unconscious. Promontory tries to fight them, but finds that she isn’t used to fighting without her speed. She allows one of the agents to get the drop on her and break her arm. “Okay, that’s not normal. Ow.” “All right. We’ll be tackling the famous Precision store on 5th and Marsh,” Sol says. “You know the drill. We’ll give Ruckus a five-minute head start. Suit up.” “Wait a minute,” Dilbert says. “You’re not going.” “I’m sorry?” “You have to rest. You should be at home right now, relaxing on your couch.” “Do I have to remind you whose team this is?” “It’s my team, too, and I’m just trying to help you. I don’t want anything happening to you out there.” Orland pulls Dilbert aside. “What’s the matter with you?” “Nothing,” Dilbert says. “It’s a beautiful day. I aced my math test.” “No, I mean you’ve been acting all weird around Max, almost like you don’t want him around.” “I don’t.” When Orland doesn’t say anything, he says, “Promise me you won’t tell anyone any of this?” “Of course.” “When I broke up with Sol, Max was just waiting for his shot with her. And I have this irrational fear that he’ll try to weasel back in again. Especially with Sol’s new title. That enhances his status.” “Max is a good guy. He won’t do anything dishonorable. But I’m not the one you should be talking to about this.” “Yeah, I know.” “What is it, Dilbert?” Sol asks. “I must confess I’ve been acting weird these past couple of days,” he says. “It’s just, I lost you once, and then Max swooped in. I was afraid that that would happen again. I know it’s stupid.” “It’s not stupid. It’s called being human. Or close to it. But you don’t have to worry about that. Max is out of the picture. And you know I swooped in on him, right?” “Really? I don’t know why I’m surprised,” he then says. “I’ve seen you swoop in on criminals for three years now. Sometimes literally. I just didn’t think it would help you to be thinking about this on the battlefield.” “It helps me to know what my boyfriend’s thinking. It helps me be a better girlfriend.” At the Summit, Dylan grows increasingly bored without the rest of the team. That is, until two familiar faces walk up to him. “Dylan, good to see you,” Ariana Hunter says. “Ariana, Bells. What brings you to the OC?” Dylan asks. “I told you not to call me that,” Bellona Meadows says. “We were investigating some unusual weather patterns,” Ariana explains, “and the trail led us here." “Have you encountered anything like that?” “I haven’t,” Dylan replies, “but I can’t say that I’ve been looking.” “You can’t say?” Bellona is furious. “Where’s Dilbert? He would know.” “Dilbert’s not here right now,” Dylan says. “He’s actually on a college visit with the rest of the team,” Quiana adds. “You just missed him. What unfortunate luck,” Ginny opines. “Yeah, unfortunate luck seems to follow me around,” Bellona replies. “Who are you?” “Oh, these are the new recruits,” Dylan says. “Quiana and Ginny. These are my friends, Bellona and Ariana, or as they’re also known, Thunderbird and Stratus.” “ ‘Friends’ is a bit much,” Bellona snarks. “She’s mean sometimes.” “And I’m going by Lightning Bird now.” “Well, it’s nice to see that someone got their team right,” Ariana says upon noticing that they’re all girls. “Hey, what’s that supposed to mean?” Dylan asks, bewildered. “We have arrived,” Dilbert says upon arrival at the main campus of Southern Pierce State University (SPSU). The GPS echoes him. “Yep, that’s why we call him GPD,” Orland says. “Greenwich Police Department?” Rory guesses. “Global Positioning Dilbert,” Sol corrects him. “That makes more sense,” Rowena says. “You make more sense,” Sasha snarks. “I like to think that I make more sense than any of you,” Dilbert responds. “No, that’s not what I— never mind,” Sasha gives up. “So, where should we go first?” Orland asks. “How about the science department,” Rory suggests. “This guy, all about science. How about art?” Sasha counters. “We’ll get to them all, but we’ll start with science, because it’s closer,” Sol decides. “How come we didn’t invite anyone else?” Rory asks. “Yeah,” Sasha says, “I’m sure Ari would love to see the art department, and there’s a great soccer team for Phel.” “I don’t know. Call them,” Sol says hurriedly. “Ari can tornado them here. Now let’s go.” They do so, Sasha slightly annoyed (although, to be fair, she is always slightly annoyed). Ophelia “Phel” Toadstool is taking a walk through a neighborhood park. Her phone lights up, but she doesn’t see it. She presses a button on her earbuds to change the song when, out of nowhere, she is viciously attacked by a wolf. She fumbles for her pepper spray, which the wolf swats away. The wolf eventually leaves as a crowd of onlookers amasses around the unconscious Ophelia; someone calls 911. “Love what you’ve done with the place,” Ariana says. “Yeah, very Batcave chic,” Bellona adds. “Thanks,” Dylan replies. “It was all Orland,” Ginny reveals. “Dylan here just likes to take credit for other people’s work,” Quiana says. “Hey, where’s Meena? I thought she was going to come for this. It could be important,” Dylan asks. “She had to go home,” Ginny responds. “Said it was some family stuff. She’s another recruit,” she explains to the newcomers. “That’s a shame. Anyway, feel free to take control of our state-of-the-art computers,” Dylan urges. “That stuff is really more Orland’s domain anyway.” “I will. So, you’re sure that you haven’t encountered any strange weather phenomena?” Ariana asks again. “Actually, we did, but that was Mina Sorenson in Mahogany Grove,” Dylan says. “Other than that, no, I don’t think so.” “Here’s something,” Ariana spies. “A mysterious tornado.” “We don’t usually get tornadoes in Pierce,” Bellona agrees. “Suit up,” Dylan and Ariana say at the same time. “Sorry,” Dylan apologizes. “I thought, with Sol gone, that I would be the one to say it. You go ahead.” “Thank you,” Ariana says graciously. “We move out in 10.” “So, this is where the supposed tornado is?” the Reg asks. “Yes,” Stratus says. “Wouldn’t be our first opponent to be a no-show,” Lightning Bird comments. “Well, a tornado is not exactly an opponent, per se,” Ginny begins before being interrupted by the sudden emergence of a specialized tornado. “Whoa, it’s like the tornado is just there,” Quiana says, awed. “Like in The Truman Show,” the Reg says. “I don’t know where it’s coming from,” Stratus says. “Maybe we can—” Lightning Bird starts, but stops when the tornado ceases to appear. “Well, that was weird,” Ginny says. Esteban Foxglove goes to check on Ophelia in the hospital. She is surprisingly alert despite several stitches in her face, neck, and arm. “Couldn’t keep the wolves at bay, huh?” “Too soon.” “You know, we’ve been in some spots in the past three years, but out of all of us, I think you’ve had the worst luck. First you got shot, then your arm, and now this.” “I’m sorry. Were there any well wishes in there?” “Yeah, yeah. Feel better and all that. You seem fine to me. No signs of infection?” “Nope. The doc says I should be out and ‘free to resume my normal walking habits’ by tomorrow.” “Are you sure that’s a good idea? Don’t they usually keep you an extra few days for observation?” “Not in this case. They know exactly what kind of wolf it was. D**n thing caught me without my sword. Otherwise, we would be in a much different situation.” “Still, you had a traumatic experience. It’s okay to take a few days off.” Esteban picks up her phone from a nearby table. “You have a missed call from Sasha.” “What does she want?” “Hell if I know. She didn’t leave a voicemail.” “Because she knows I don’t listen to them. Hand it to me.” He does so. “I’ve gotta go. I have a family dinner. See you tomorrow, Phel. Careful with the door.” A beat passes. “Oh, wolves at the door. Get out of here.” She shakes her head. “This science department must be really expensive,” Rory says in awe. “Its reach is quite expansive,” Dilbert jokes. “Always with the puns,” Sasha says. “I could see myself going here,” Sol says. “No, you can’t,” Orland says somewhat loudly, shocking everyone. “What do you mean, she can’t?” Rowena asks indignantly. “I mean, she has to stay local and guide the new Team Tory. Dilbert and I need to, too,” Orland explains. “Says you,” Sol says. “No, it’s a good idea,” Dilbert agrees. “So you agree with him?” “Of course Dilbert agrees with him,” Sasha replies to the question that was addressed to Dilbert. “They’re kind of a package deal,” Rowena adds. “You’re a package deal,” Dilbert snarks. Sol leaves in disgust. “I need some air.” “I’ll go after her,” he says, and departs as well. “ ‘I need some air. Isn’t that a stupid expression?” Orland says. “We have air right here. Otherwise, she wouldn’t be breathing.” “Well, that was a bust,” Ariana comments once they return to the Summit. “What was a bust?” Meena pipes up. “Oh. Didn’t realize you would be waiting for us,” Dylan reveals. “Of course she would. Anyone taking on this gig probably doesn’t have much of a life,” Bellona comments. “Hey,” Dylan snaps back. “I resemble that remark.” With Dilbert gone, no one cares enough to correct him. “Social life,” she clarifies. “She’s right,” Ginny chimes in from the other end of the room. “So, what are we going to do now?” Quiana asks. “We should redefine our search parameters,” Ariana says, already walking over to the computer. “How do you know all this stuff?” Dylan asks, bewildered. “Bells and I have been doing this on our own. I’m no Lighthouse, but I acquired some basic computer skills,” Ariana says. “Seems more than just basic,” Dylan opines. “I got a hit.” “Where?” Ginny asks. “The North Hills,” she replies, stunned. “Something a little closer to home,” Bellona says. “I like it.” “It does make transportation much easier, especially with Addie gone,” Dylan agrees. “Who’s Addie?” Quiana asks. “She was our resident speedster. She took us anywhere within seconds.” “Seems like that’s a hot spot for nefarious activity,” Ariana says. “They need more protection.” “What kind of protection?” Dylan says. “Like the cure?” “What cure?” Meena asks. “My friend Rory came up with a cure that removes someone’s powers.” “Isn’t Sol a speedster, too?” Ginny says. “Uh,” Dylan begins, but is unable to come up with an answer before the rest of the team leaves for the North Hills. “Come on, Sol, you know I didn’t mean that,” Dilbert says, slightly out-of-breath from chasing Sol down the hallway. “I thought we were past this sort of thing. Aren’t I allowed to choose where I want to go to college?” she asks. “Of course. I just thought that you would want to stay because of me.” “I have my own desires. I’m not Kelly Clarkson. Not everything is because of you.” “Okay, sure. But I really am trying to help you.” “I know, and I appreciate it. But, just like the thing with my arm and with Max, some things are beyond your help, and you need to remember that.” “Okay.” “Plus, I might not even stay in Pierce. You remember the soldier I told you about?” “You mean the one in the final battle of the Climacteric?” “She offered me an opportunity, and I’m really considering taking it.” “I thought you wanted to go here.” “I’m keeping my options open right now.” “Well, what if I don’t want to go out of Pierce? Am I one of those options?” “I don’t know, Dilbert. You were a good first - and third - boyfriend, but I think we’ve both come to depend on each other too much. I need to figure out who I am without you.” “So, that’s it? You’re breaking up with me?” “I guess I am.” “What are we gonna tell the team?” “Nothing yet. I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to have that awkward car ride. Now, let’s go visit the art department.” They leave to join the others at the art building. The team arrives in the North Hills. “I’m getting nostalgic,” Lightning Bird says. “So, what are we looking for?” Meena asks. “Anything out of the ordinary,” Stratus responds. “Like that,” Thunderbird says upon seeing another tornado. “Let me see if I can trace it using my powers,” Stratus says. “Now she’s just showing off,” the Reg mutters to Ginny before Stratus is suddenly whisked into the tornado and out of sight. We see Meena do it with her powers, but the Reg and the team don’t. “Where did she go?” Lightning Bird asks. “Don’t worry,” the Reg says. “We’ll find out.” We open on the main team in the SPSU art building. “This is impressive,” Sasha says. “For a state school, they’re really going all-out,” Rory adds. “You know, state schools have been getting a bit of a bad rap lately,” Orland points out. “They are actually comparable to the more prestigious private schools in terms of quality education.” “Which is the only criterion that matters, yes?” Sasha says. Rowena gives her a look. “I memorized the Dilbert Dictionary, at least up to C.” “There’s also athletics,” Rowena points out. “Location,” Sol adds. “Legacy,” Orland continues. “Social life,” Rowena says. “Alright, I get it,” Sasha says annoyedly. “But I could see myself going here.” “Again with this?” Orland grumbles. “Does what we’ve built mean nothing to you guys?” “Well, excuse me if my education matters more to me than a gig I’ve only had for the last two years,” Sasha replies indignantly, and storms off. “You haven’t built anything. We’re the ones doing all of the work,” Rowena says. “You know, I would like to be out in the field more,” Orland reveals. “We’ll see about that,” Sol says. “How are we going to find Ariana?” Ginny asks once the team returns to the Summit. “Ariana set up her algorithm to run automatically,” Lightning Bird explains. “We should be able to use it to track the tornado that—” she hesitates before saying this “—took her.” “Like Felicity Smoak’s Archer, but for the weather,” Quiana catches on. “Imagine if they had this in 1939,” the Reg says. “There would be no Wizard of Oz.” “No Wizard of Oz? What a travesty,” Meena says upon entering the room. “Well, Dorothy would still have to follow the Yellow Brick Road. She would just have some Kansan detectives with her as well,” Ginny theorizes. Everyone looks at her quizzically. “What? I love '30s films.” “Anyway,” Lightning Bird segues, “I think I found her. She’s in—oh, Greenwood Village. Not too far.” “We can take the van,” the Reg says. Lightning Bird declares, “I’ll drive.” “Of course,” the geokinetic replies sheepishly. “Sure. We won’t be helping Ariana if we’re stuck in a ditch.” “Let’s move.” They arrive in Greenwood Village, and the town looks shockingly ordinary. That is, until a fearsome tornado materializes from the ground, like an airy geyser. “That’s where Ariana is trapped,” Thunderbird says, and rushes towards it, disappearing from view. “I can’t believe I’m the one saying this, but don’t we need a plan first?” the Reg asks. “That’s a good idea,” Ginny agrees, and scans her surroundings upon noticing that someone is missing. “Where’s Meena?” “Did she go into the tornado too?” Quiana asks. “Sol’s gonna kill me,” the Reg says, his volume increasing with every word, as he leads Ginny and Quiana towards the terrifying tornado. Once they reach its base, they are greeted by a fellow costumed teen in a blue supersuit with an emblem of a tanzanite stone in place of Promontory’s mountain or Dylan’s reg. “I’m afraid I can’t let you go in there,” the costumed teen says. “But our friends are in there,” the Reg protests. “I don’t care. As Tanzanite, I have a sworn duty to protect this town and everyone in it. Right now, that includes you. I don’t think I need to tell you what travesty would result if you or your friends went in there,” Tanzanite explains, and this is when Quiana catches on. “Meena? Is that you? I can’t believe you would do such a thing,” she exclaims, shocked. “I thought I recognized your voice,” Ginny says. “Who is this Meena you speak of?” Tanzanite asks in a disguised voice, but she knows that her cover has been blown. “When you said the word travesty, you gave yourself away,” Quiana explains. “There are so many other choices — disaster, cataclysm, catastrophe.” “I don’t believe this, either,” the Reg says (and everyone is yelling, mind you, due to the swirling tornado behind them), “mostly because I don’t see how it’s possible.” “With my powers, I’m able to push a great amount of air to this exact location,” Meena explains, “And you can’t stop me.” The camera zooms out to reveal a jail cell encasing the protagonists. Ginny uselessly tugs on the bars. Quiana throws a syringe through the bars at Tanzanite, but she uses a piece of the already-deformed building from which she got the bars to deflect it, and pushes four walls onto the bars, thereby hermetically sealing the enclosure. “I can’t believe this is the second time I’ve been trapped this year,” the Reg says. “Look on the bright side. At least Sol won’t kill you,” Ginny suggests. “Yeah, she won’t kill me, because we’ll all suffocate to death in this hell-rectangle.” “Stratus and Lightning Bird will think of something,” Quiana says. “What about me?” the Reg says. “Actually, that’s fair.” “I have an idea,” Stratus says. “I’m gonna try to use my powers to separate the tornado and create a clean spot for us to land on.” She does so, and once they land, Lightning Bird tries to zap Tanzanite with her wings while Ariana directs the left tornado at the enclosure in order to free her teammates. She deftly brings them down from the natural phenomenon after doing so. The team is freed in time to see Tanzanite fleeing the scene, just as local police arrive. “What the heck happened here?” the lead officer questions. “Oh, it’s one of those vigilante squads,” another notices. “Take them in for questioning,” the first officer says. “And put them where? Our jail is in the middle of the street,” a third officer points out. “We had nothing to do with this, officers,” Stratus says. “Well, we did, but we were trying to minimize the damage,” Ginny adds. “Optimization. The bane of my existence,” Quiana cuts in. “Anyway, we’ll get out of your way, and we’ll send a report on what happened here once we—” the Reg stalls before he is snatched up by Lightning Bird, who flies him to the departing van. “—are all settled,” he finishes, yelling by this point as his voice fades. “You did what?” Sol asks incredulously at Heliotrope. “We may have leveled Greenwood Village,” Dylan says. “It wasn’t entirely our fault,” Ariana says. “Actually, it was mostly Meena’s fault,” Bellona points out. “Meena? What about her?” Rowena asks. “She went full villain,” Ariana explains. “She’s gonna be quite the obstacle for you guys.” “You guys? You mean you’re not going to stay with us?” Sol asks. “We have more important stuff to do,” Bellona reveals. “Besides,” Ariana says, “you and Dilbert will be fine. I know you two lovebirds have faced worse than her and come out on top.” Dilbert starts to say something, but Sol stops him. “Yeah. We got this.” “We wish you the best of luck,” Bellona says, and they depart. “Listen, Sasha, I’m sorry for snapping at you earlier,” Orland says. “Thank you,” she replies. “I’m just very protective of what we have going on here.” “It is pretty great,” Rowena says. “It is, isn’t it?” Sol agrees. “To Team Tory,” Dylan toasts with his lemonade, and they all raise their glasses and drink from them, except Dilbert. “Hey, Dilbert, what’s wrong? You didn’t say anything the whole ride home,” Orland says. “I mean, I know you’re a quiet guy, but—” He notices Dilbert looking at Sol. “What is it? You know you can tell me anything, right? Why are you looking at her?” “Sol and I broke up.” “I may have toasted prematurely,” Dylan says. “That’s my bad.” It doesn’t break the tension. That night, Ophelia walks alone to her house under a full moon. She begins to notice a strange morphing of her features, and soon finds that she is turning into a werewolf. The team discusses adding a new member to fill the vacancies produced by Matilda and Addie’s departures. “So, who are your candidates, Dilbert?” Sol asks.
“Well, there’s this one—” He is cut off by Dylan, who says, “What about Cassie? She’s got the spunk.” “Didn’t you break up with her?” Dilbert asks. “That Thing You Do!,” Sasha says as she enters the room. “What thing?” Row asks. “Real Genius,” Sasha continues. “I think there’s something wrong with Sasha,” Rory says. “And I think I know what it is,” Orland says. “Who did this to you?” Orland asks Sasha. “Unknown,” she responds. “Do you know how it all happened?” “So Weird,” she replies. “That’s it. I have a theory,” Orland announces. Rowena groans audibly. “First Dilbert, and now you? What are you, spouting theory trees in your brains?” “If you would listen,” says Orland with a slight edge to his voice, “I would tell you. I think that Sasha was enchanted, and can now only speak in film or TV show titles.” “How do we know that she isn’t doing this all by herself?” Rory says. “Yeah, like on a dare or something,” Dylan adds. “I Am Not Okay With This,” Sasha responds. “That settles it. Orland, Row, you’re with Sasha. Fix her. It’s unsettling. Dylan, Rory, you’re with Dilbert and me. We need to vet potential team members,” Sol orders, and then departs. “So, who did you have in mind, Dilbert?” Sol asks. “My first candidate is Ginny Gaso,” he replies. “No,” Dylan says bluntly. “She d**n near tried to kill us.” “That was over a year ago,” Dilbert says. “She’s normal now. Plus, she’s got wind powers. We could use someone like that.” “You only want her because she’s Catholic,” Dylan says. “Those who pray together stay together.” “No. What? No.” “We don’t need to replace Addie and Mat. We have Sol. She could do this all by herself,” Rory opines, “with a scientist, of course.” “I absolutely could not,” the vampire says. “Plus, I’m going to college next year. We need heroes here to continue the team. We’ll interview her. Anyone else, Dilbert?” “Yes. My new friend, Quiana Ross. She has a lot of potential,” Dilbert says. “Does she have powers?” Dylan asks. “Not as far as we know, but—” Dilbert starts. Sol cuts him off. “We’ll find out. Put her on the list, and have Orland run a background check. Dylan, anyone else besides Cassie?” “She was my only idea,” he reluctantly concedes. “Fine. I have a candidate,” Sol announces. “Her name is Meena Goswani. She’s super smart. She’s in advanced math. She also wears blue almost every day, which could only mean that the color holds some sort of special significance for her.” “Like relating to her abilities,” Dilbert says. “I invited Chimney, too. She expressed interest.” “Sounds like we have our set,” Sol says. “Now we just need to schedule the interviews. When’s everyone’s next free day?” “I can do Saturday,” Dilbert announces. “No can do,” Rory says. “College application workshop.” “You’re still applying?” “I’ve been busy,” he says. “Hah,” Sol says. “Nerd.” Rory ignores her. “I can do Sunday.” “Same,” Dilbert says. “Sunday it is,” Sol says. “We’ll work it out with the rest of the team. We don’t all need to be there.” “Are you sure you don’t want to interview for the team?” Orland asks Tara at school the next day. “Yeah, I’m sure,” Tara responds. “I really think you’d like it. You’d get to go outside. You’d get to spend more time with me.” “I just don’t know if I want to be part of the team that couldn’t stop the centaurs. They hurt a lot of people.” “We feel really bad about that, but we tried as hard as we could.” “It just doesn’t sit right with me. I’m sorry.” They walk away, leaving Orland with a befuddled expression on his face. “So how do we fix her?” Rowena asks that afternoon. “Do we take her to a doctor?” “Doctor Strange,” Sasha comments. “She says that a doctor who could possibly be able to help her would have to be very, you know, strange,” Orland translates. “We could see a therapist,” Rowena suggests. “Doctor Strangelove,” Sasha responds. “Apparently, Sasha likes that idea, but I don’t. A therapist isn’t gonna help her get out of this; they’re just gonna try to get her to get over it. We have to think of something else,” Orland says. “Enchanted,” Sasha suggests. “Of course! This was a magical enchantment, so it requires a magical solution. It was right under our noses the entire time. We’re gonna have to get Dilbert in on this.” He departs. At the Summit, Sol, Dilbert, Dylan, and Rory are interviewing potential team members. “State your full name for the record,” Sol begins. Ginny is dressed in a graphic tee and ripped jeans, and has a nonchalant expression on her face. “Ginny Elizabeth Gaso. I don’t know why I’m here. I assumed, what with my connections to you and Dilbert, that I would be a shoo-in.” “Connections?” Dilbert says. “You mean the fan club?” “The Daywalkers, yeah. We had to disband after the centaurs, but I’m still a fan, I assure you. I know that you tried your best, and you eventually stopped them.” “So, Ginny,” Sol says, “what makes you think that you are the right person for Team Tory?” “Well, I have powers, as you know,” Ginny responds. “Here on Team Tory,” Dilbert says, “we're not just about having powers.” “I don’t, for example,” Rory says. “I bring my scientific knowledge to the table.” “Although, having superpowers does help,” Dylan counters. Sol lightly punches him in the ribcage. “Ow.” “This job has a lot of after-school commitments. Two hours a day is the norm, probably more on Wednesday nights. Are you sure you’re ready for that?” Sol asks. “I’m not sure. I have percussion practice on Wednesdays. If you give me a schedule, I’m sure I can work it out.” “Okay, we’ll be in touch,” Sol says, and motions for Rory to escort her out. “I didn’t like that schedule comment,” Sol says to Dilbert. “Too demanding.” “That’s exactly what I would say,” Dilbert replies. “I would like to have all the information I need in order to make an informed decision, something that we know about all too well, what with college acceptance day coming up.” “Was that a knock at me?” Rory asks. “I feel like that was a knock at me.” “No knocks,” Dilbert assures him. “Just facts.” “Dilbert is always ‘just facts,’” Dylan says. “He’s no fun. It makes me sick.” “Well,” he mutters, “excuse me if—” Orland asks for him. “Coming,” he yells. “Your verbal fulmination will have to wait,” he says to Dylan at normal volume. “See? What does that even mean?” he asks. “Explosion,” Sol says. “It means explosion. Do you remember the Dilbert Dictionary that he gave us? You should memorize that. Every now and then he throws us a curveball, and even I don’t know what it means.” “Memorize it?” Dylan asks indignantly. “I took this job to get away from school.” “You took this job because you were the only other superhero around, and we needed help defeating a rogue vampire,” Sol counters. “What?” Rory asks, shocked. “You didn’t tell me that.” “In this job, you have to be prepared for anything,” Sol replies. “Shutting up now.” Just then, Meena Goswani enters the room. Dressed in a blue blazer and matching slacks, she looks to be taking the interview a lot more seriously than Ginny did. “Right on time, Meena,” Sol says. “That’s very important for a job interview.” “No problem,” Meena says sweetly. “Although, this isn’t a job, per se,” Rory says. “We don’t pay you for this.” Sol lightly punches him in the elbow. “What? I don’t want her to get the wrong idea.” “Moving on,” Sol continues, “what makes you think that you could be a valuable asset to Team Tory?” Meena promptly lifts up her hand and snatches a pencil that Dylan had been fidgeting with. “Impressive,” Rory notes. “Why do you even have a pencil, Dylan?” Sol asks, with genuine fascination. “To take notes,” he replies, “obviously.” “We could use someone like you on the team, someone who isn’t distracted,” she says in what is an obvious knock at the boys. “We appreciate your punctuality.” “I’m not distracted,” Dylan opines. “What did I just say?” Sol asks. “We appreciate your ... fun wallaby?” “Nope. Do you see what I mean?” “Can I have my pencil back?” Sol gives the pencil back to him. “We’ll be in touch.” Sol walks into the room, and is surprised to see Dilbert’s friend sitting there across from Dylan. “Ren?” she asks. “What are you doing here?” “This is where the interview for the … superhero job is, right?” Ren says. “Keep your voice down, and yes. What brings you here, Ren?” Rory says. “I need a job, and all the other companies are filled with incompetent people. Plus, they didn’t hire me.” “Do you have any experience?” Dylan asks. “No, I guess not. How does one get experience in this field?” “Tell me why you think you’d be a good candidate for this job,” Sol says. “I have a desire to do good.” “Congratulations. So does everyone else here.” “I have a solid work ethic.” “Got that covered, too.” She glances at Dylan. “Mostly.” “I have good people skills.” “Great,” Rory says, turning to Dylan. “Maybe you could teach him.” “I’m good with horses.” “I’m sorry,” Sol says. “I don’t see how that’s relevant.” “I heard you had some problems with centaurs.” “Talking to them wasn’t the problem.” “Maybe it wouldn’t be if you had a horse whisperer on the team.” “We’ll reach out to you within the week.” Chimney walks in as Sol shows an annoyed Ren out. “You didn’t do well?” “I think I blew it,” comes the response. “Did I blow it? Right, professional protocol or whatever. But I think I did.” “Should I be worried?” “Not about him,” Sol says. “Just focus on you. Why do you want to be a part of Team Tory?” “I like you guys and I want to hang out with you. Isn’t that enough?” “Do you have any special skills?” “I’m a great driver.” “How about any unique skills or abilities?” “I don’t have powers, if that’s what you mean. But I can crochet. I can make you a very cute penguin.” “Chimney, we appreciate you coming in—” “No, wait. I’m good at PR. You guys need some help after the centaurs, right? I can help you.” “We think the work we do stands, and should stand, on its own.” “With all due respect, it doesn’t seem that way.” The silence lingers for a beat before Sol says, “We’ll see you at school.” “Have you decided?” “We’ll see you at school.” “That’s it, right?” Dylan asks. “Get back in here,” Sol says. “We have one more.” “I don’t see anyone else,” Rory points out. Just then, Quiana Ross walks in. “Oh, you’re Dilbert’s girl, right?” Dylan asks. “Yes, I am,” Quiana affirms. “But I hope to distance myself from Dilbert’s endorsement.” “Everything okay with you two?” Sol says. “Yeah. I just want to get this job on my own merits.” “And how are you going to do that?” “Well, I can’t exactly do it now,” she says hesitantly. “And why is that?” “Well, I am a medical expert, and no one here is injured.” “Ah. We already have a scientist on our team,” Dylan says whilst indicating Rory. “No, not a scientist,” Quiana clarifies. “A medic. Those are two very different things. The last thing a superhero team needs is a scientist playing doctor.” “I am very good at my job, I’ll have you know,” Rory says. “I’m sure you are, but being the team medic is not your job,” Quiana continues. “I like her,” Sol says quietly in a sidebar outside of the room, which doubles as the interrogation room. “She’s not afraid to say what she wants.” “You’re not going on a date with her,” Dylan says. They return to the interview room. “So, you want to know about my accomplishments,” Quiana asks, “or does anyone want to tell me why this looks like the interrogation room on every cop show, ever?” Dylan takes out his pen. “She’s smart, too.” Sol ignores him. “That’s a great idea. Tell us more about your experience, Quiana.” “Well, I was first to get the medical badge in my Girl Scout troop,” Quiana begins. “Then I excelled at first aid as a junior lifeguard. And finally, I enrolled in Medical Careers this year in order to further pursue my passion.” “Last question. What made you think of us,” Rory says, “besides Dilbert?” “Like many people, I lost someone when the centaurs took over. I lost my dad. I wanted to make sure that never happened to anyone else.” “We’ll be in touch,” Sol promises. “I like her, but, geez, brag much?” Dylan says after the interview ends. “That’s a job interview, Dylan,” Sol tells him. “You have to make yourself look good without sounding cocky.” “I’d be great at that,” he opines. “Everyone’s always telling me I’m cocky.” “I think they’re onto something,” Rory snarks. “Enough,” Sol commands. “We’ll sleep on it and convene tomorrow to decide.” The three leave the Summit. “So, this is where the person who enchanted Sasha lives?” Orland asks Dilbert when they come up on a very dilapidated—looking house. “Monster House,” Sasha comments. “I think she means—” Dilbert starts. Rowena says, “I think that one’s pretty self-explanatory.” “Goosebumps,” Sasha adds. “Gotta agree with you there,” Orland avers her. The heroes enter the monster house. However, there do not seem to be any actual monsters. As a matter of fact, the host is rather friendly. “Hello, my friends,” he says, offering his hand. “I am Christopher Watson, the owner of this lovely dwelling.” He seems too friendly, Dilbert notes. “Are you into magic, Mr. Watson?” “Why, yes, very much so. Ever since I was a boy,” Mr. Watson responds. “Have you been continuing your studies more recently?” Orland asks this time. “Why do you ask? I’m the one in the shoddy house, and I’m suspicious of you,” Mr. Watson points out. “We were just wondering because—” Rowena starts. Sasha interrupts her. “Charmed.” “Someone charmed our friend Sasha here,” Dilbert says, “so that she can only speak in movie or television series titles.” “Using a tracking device,” Orland continues, referencing the Rednifyaw, “we traced the origin of the enchantment here.” “Do you have anything to say for yourself?” Rowena finishes. “Wow,” Mr. Watson exhales. “I’ve been practicing, but I didn’t think that my spells had made it past this house.” “Well, they did,” Dilbert says again. “The Help,” Sasha says. “I’m afraid I cannot help you,” Mr. Watson declares. “Why not?” Orland asks. “I have never performed such a spell, or even heard of one, frankly,” he replies. “But you do know how to get rid of one?” Rowena asks hopefully. “I don’t think so,” comes the response. “But we still traced the origin of the spell to this location,” Dilbert reminds him. “Are there any other tenants of this house?” “Nope, just me and my cat,” Mr. Watson says sadly. “Come here, Dexter.” A gray Burmese cat enters the room. “Say hi, Dexter,” Mr. Watson implores. Dexter refuses to do so. “He’s just a little shy. You four are our first visitors in a long time.” “Good day, Mr. Watson,” Dilbert says, “and Dexter.” “Good day to you too. Come visit us again!” Mr. Watson exclaims as the four heroes depart and return to their road trip van. “Well, that was no help,” Rowena remarks drily. “Yeah, we still don’t know where the spell came from,” Orland adds. “Time After Time,” Sasha suggests. “That’s a great idea, Sasha,” Dilbert says, and Sasha smiles. “Maybe we shouldn’t be searching for a place of origin, but rather a time.” “Someone in 1835 could’ve made an error and enchanted someone in a completely different time period,” Orland continues. “The act of magic is very volatile,” Dilbert says. “If you mess up even one syllable, the whole spell could go wrong and you could end up petrifying your best friend.” “Best friend?” Orland asks skeptically. “Oh, shut up,” Rowena says. “Dilbert doesn’t know what that term means. Anyway, looks like we have some time wizards to call.” “We can’t, remember?” Dilbert says. “They’re not on this plane.” “Plane?” Sasha says. “Plane of existence.” “Wait,” Rowena says. “Can’t you go back in time?” “Not that far.” “And Sol and Addie are out, too,” Orland says. “It’s fine. We’ll think of someone.” Back at the Summit, Sol, Dylan, and Rory have to determine who will fill the vacant spots on Team Tory. “I liked Meena the most,” Sol opines. “Of course you liked Meena the most,” Rory counters. “You picked her.” “Where did she say she was from, by the way?” Dylan says. “New Jersey.” “I forgot there were powered people elsewhere.” “Who do you think should fill Addie’s spot, Rory?” “I say Quiana,” Rory says. “Why? Because she was a top-of-the-line Girl Scout? She doesn’t have any powers,” Sol retorts. “Ren didn’t have any powers, either.” “I didn’t care for him. I didn’t get that hero sparkle from him. He thought of this as just another job.” “Plus, his horse whisperer comment rubbed me the wrong way.” “Not as much as Chimney’s ‘I don’t see it that way.’ I thought she was on our side.” “Me too. Actually, now that I think about it, Meena’s the only one who didn’t mention the centaurs.” “You know, we could leave it vacant,” Dylan suggests. “I didn’t really like any of them.” “We didn’t give them a proper chance to test their abilities,” Sol responds. It’s reasonable that you would feel that way.” “Oh, my God,” Dylan grumbles. “You’re starting to sound like Dilbert.” “Well, I think he has a point on this one,” Sol starts, but is interrupted by the Summit alarm. Rory says, “We have an alert. Bank robbery on 5th and Merced. Four robbers.” “That’s the new Absquatulate Bank,” Sol recalls. “Man, those guys can’t seem to catch a break.” “They will if we help them,” Dylan says. “Yeah, you’re right. This could be a good field test. Rory, call up Meena, Quiana, and Ginny. Tell them to meet us at the scene. Dylan, suit up. We’ve got some crimefighting to do,” Sol orders. The crime scene is active when the heroes arrive at Absquatulate Bank. “Hurry! They’re getting away!” Dylan exclaims. “Not on my watch,” Sol grumbles. She moves to take out the lead robber, but is whipped off of her feet by an unfortunately-timed windstrike. “Oh, crud,” Ginny says. “I’m coming, Promontory,” Quiana yells. “It’s all up to you, Dylan,” Sol says quietly. But, in fact, it wasn’t. Ginny and Meena were also on the scene, though the former was disillusioned by her accidental toppling of Sol. Dylan conjures a reg, and attempts to throw it at the robbers, but it drops to the ground. “What the hell?” he asks, bewildered. “The Climacteric must have messed with his powers,” Rory says back at the Summit. Dylan tries again, and the rock drops. “I have an idea,” Meena yells over the din. “You make the rock, and I’ll push it over to them." Dylan does so, and it works surprisingly well. They manage to knock out two of the robbers. Ginny pushes a third to the ground with a better-aimed windstrike. However, the fourth robber is making a break for it. “Don’t let him get away!” Meena yells, and attempts to push a reg onto him, but she misses and shatters the door instead. “Oh, great. That’s our third door this month,” the store manager moans from the sideline. Ginny attempts to strike down the robber, but fails. Dylan chases after him, and almost catches up to him when he is knocked out by a well-timed syringe to the head. He looks back at Quiana, and gives her the thumbs-up, which seems very informal for a superhero. “What is he doing?” Rory asks over comms. “Give him a break, Rory,” Sol requests. “We did good today, team. And new team. We may have a race on our hands.” “No. No more races,” Dylan says hurriedly. “I need to sit down.” “Thanks for taking us all the way back here,” Dilbert says to Ruth. “I know it takes a lot out of you.” “No problem,” Ruth says. “I’m happy to help. So, what’s the situation here?” “We’re looking for the person who put a spell on Sasha,” Dilbert informs him. “Ooh, what kind of spell?” Ruth asks inquisitively. “Friends,” Sasha responds. “The one that makes her speak in movie or television show titles,” Orland explains. “That’s rough,” Ruth says. “Rough is what it’ll be if we don’t find the temporal scumbag,” Rowena says. “Hello, anyone seen a wizard here?” Dilbert asks a commoner, who looks at him skeptically. “Any peculiar occurrences lately?” Orland asks a woman. She replies, “There was a hailstorm, but that happens every so often.” “These people are no help,” Rowena grumbles. “There was this one guy,” an old man said. “He always said he wanted to be in a magic show.” “Where can we find him?” Dilbert asks. “Up the hill. He’s the last house.” “Thank you, sir,” Orland says. “Anytime. Now, who did you kids say you were?” the old man asks, but the heroes have already departed. “Are you the magician?” Rowena asks once they ascend the hill. “Geez, I hope so,” Orland says. “I’ve met my quota on hills for the day.” “Who’s asking?” he asks quizzically. “Concerned citizens,” Dilbert informs him. “We think that you put a spell on our friend here,” Orland adds. “Can you undo the spell?” Rowena asks. “I’ve never had to undo a spell before,” the magician says. “I never made it to the big time. I got stage fright.” “Can you think of something?” Dilbert asks. “We’ve traveled a long way, and we don’t want to come back empty-handed,” Ruth adds. “I have a spell. But we have to make a circle,” the magician says. “Why?” she asks, and the magician refuses to tell. “The Secret Circle,” Sasha says, and Dilbert chuckles. The magician is able to perform the spell, and Sasha’s normal vocabulary is restored. “Well, that’s a relief,” she opines, with her signature dry wit. “Can we take you back now?” Orland asks, and Dilbert and the others nod enthusiastically. “I have an idea,” Sasha says once they return to 2023. “Let’s make them think that the spell didn’t work. It’ll scare the c**p out of them.” “I don’t like pranks,” Dilbert says. “Pranks are fun.” “They’re mean. If you want to make someone laugh, just tell a joke.” “You don’t have to do anything.” “Fine.” “We had quite an adventure,” Orland says at the Summit. “So did we,” Sol reveals. “So I take it the interviews went well?” Sol nods. “I knew they would.” “The rookies impressed us today,” Rory says. “Especially Meena Goswani,” Dylan adds. “She should get the spot, if you ask me.” “That’s the girl who wears blue all the time, isn’t it?” Dilbert says. “Rookie Blue,” Sasha says, nodding. “Wait, it didn’t work?” Sol says, her voice catching in her throat. “Psych! It did. You getting all emotional on me, Boilweed?” “Well, excuse me for caring about my friend. I didn’t want you to lose your acerbic wit forever.” “Why should there be only one spot?” Rory asks. “All three of them were great.” “Then why aren’t they here, celebrating with us?” Dilbert asks. “We let them go home,” Sol says. “They deserved a break.” “You know, all of us except Dylan are going to college,” Orland says. “Oh, way to single me out,” Dylan complains playfully. “I’ll be going eventually. I think. That’s the plan, anyway.” “Some of us are gonna be pretty far away,” Rowena adds. “We’re gonna need fresh blood,” Sol agrees. “Speaking of college, we should go on a college visit,” Sasha suggests. “That’s a great idea.” “But who’s gonna protect the OC?” Dilbert wonders. “Dylan and the rookies have it covered, don’t you, Dylan?” Sol asks. He nods reluctantly. The six seniors depart to make arrangements for their trip. “How was it?” a mysterious figure asks. “My plan worked perfectly,” another voice responds. The camera pans out to reveal a blue door with an emblem of a tanzanite stone on it. An unknown human is seen on one of Dilbert’s reality shows, National Celebutante, saying that she “literally just died” after meeting her idol.
“Figuratively,” her brother, Sean, corrects her. “You didn’t just die, Mina. You’re still here, are you not?” “I hate how he talks like this,” Mina comments. “ ‘Are you not’?! Of course I am.” “She’s mean sometimes.” “I’m sure it’s just because she loves you,” the host, Anthony Ocean, suggests. “Why does this concern us?” Sasha asks. “Because it could mean Ginny Gaso’s return,” Orland determines. “Am I supposed to remember who that—” Rowena starts, but is interrupted by Sol. “Ginny Gaso is a metahuman with the power to temporarily kill herself,” she informs them. “And, this power is transferable. So, you must wear Orland’s anti-Ginny gloves when engaging her,” Dilbert continues. “Can we come up with a better name?” Orland suggests. “Like how about the Gloves of Life? Because they guard against death.” “‘of Life’ is so overused these days,” Addie points out. “Keep working on it.” “Gladly,” he says. “If this Ginny character is such a threat,” Rory says, “shouldn’t we be getting the government involved?” “The government?” Dilbert says. “They’d kill her.” “No,” Sol says. “Team Tory doesn’t kill. Besides, the government isn’t equipped to deal with Ginny. We are.” “Maybe we have too much power,” Addie says. “If a more experienced speedster tried to take out the Vacuum in the first place, maybe the world would be better off.” “You tried your best, Ads,” Sasha says. “It doesn’t do you any good to blame yourself.” “But this new person isn’t Ginny,” Rory says. “What makes you think that this has anything to do with her?” “That’s true,” Orland says. “I hadn’t even considered that possibility. Lots of things changed after the Climacteric. When the Vacuum reset and spat out the metahumans, it may have redistributed their powers.” “So we might be dealing with the same people, with new powers? That’s wack,” Dylan opines. “No one says ‘wack’ anymore, dude.” “Regardless,” Sol says, “we should talk to Ginny, see what she knows.” “Ginny,” Dilbert greets her. “Hey,” comes the response. “Long time.” “So, we need to talk,” he begins. “I don’t like where this is going,” she quips. “About your powers,” he finishes. “What about them?” she asks him. “We think someone else might have them. After the Climacteric, metas came back with different powers,” he explains. “That makes sense. It would explain why I don’t have my powers anymore. I’m glad. If I did, I would kill myself. Sorry, bad joke,” she apologizes. “So, why does that concern me?” “We were wondering what powers you have, so we could maybe cross—reference them with metas from before the Climacteric. We think that the new meta is using her powers for nefarious purposes,” he says. “Well, I can’t help you,” she states bluntly. “I don’t have any powers anymore.” “That’s impossible,” Dilbert opines. “Matter cannot be created or destroyed. It can only be repositioned. Your powers were repositioned into someone else, so it fits that someone else’s powers were given to you.” “I’ll tell you if I find some,” she promises. Dilbert moves to leave, but realizes that band class hasn’t started yet. He moves to start practicing on the marimba. “That’s impossible,” Orland says that night at a team meeting. “That’s what I said,” Dilbert says. “Hello, Department of Redundancy Department. Anyone there? Anyone there?” Rory jokes. “Well, she was no help,” Dylan says matter-of-factly. “Now we’re right back to square one,” Addie summarizes. “Any ideas?” She begins to feel a sharp pain in her chest. “Ow! What—” She touches it, and a message appears in front of her. “What does that say?” Dylan asks. “I think the more important question,” Rowena says, “is how did a message board just appear out of thin air?” Addison Quick, you are needed at El Templo del Zorro at 1900 hours. Come alone, it reads. “I don’t know this ‘Templo del Zoro,’” Dilbert says. “It’s Zorro,” Addie says, emphasizing the rolled r. “I never could roll my R’s. It’s been a constant pain in my side in Spanish class.” “What is even happening?” Rory says. “It sounds like a message from your fellow foxdogs,” Orland says. “Like Jumanji,” Dilbert catches on. “Yes, like Jumanji. You have to go. I’ll triangulate the location for you.” “No, thanks,” Addie says, surprising Orland. “Are you sure? I’ve hacked the NSA. I think I can handle some random foxdog temple.” “I have something called Google Maps. It hasn’t let me down yet. Bye, team.” “You know, they should really come up with another name for your species. ‘Fleet’ sounds so lame,” Sasha opines. “Vulpis canis,” Rory states matter-of-factly. “Vulcans!” Dylan exclaims. “Nope, that name is already taken,” Dilbert says. “Man. No wonder it came to me so quickly. Bye, Addie. Good luck.” “Thanks.” She departs. The next morning, Ginny is running to class from her locker. In her haste, she accidentally collides with a guy holding a textbook. “Oh, I’m sorry.” The guy offers his hand. “Are you okay?” Ginny moves to take it, but a gust of wind releases from her hand and the guy winds up falling as well. On top of her. “Wow. That’s a big textbook. Well, at least this can’t be worse.” She tries to get out, but they end up rolling over and the guy farts. “Yep. This is worse.” The bell rings. “Oh, come on!” Ginny seeks out Dilbert before band class. “Wow. Twice in as many days,” he says. “Does this mean you’re staying in Ocean City?” “Yeah,” she says, “but more importantly, I think I know what my new power is.” “What is it?” comes the response. “I have wind powers,” she reveals. “What?” “Yeah, I can make things fly by creating a gust of wind below them. It’s pretty cool,” she opines, “though not when someone falls and then farts on you.” “That sounds most unfortunate,” Dilbert says, “but thank you. That will help us find our meta.” “You’re welcome. I’m happy to help. You know, I can be part of your team, especially with my new powers that aren’t nearly as bad as before and can actually help people,” she responds. “I’ll think about it. Whoops. Gotta get set up for the piece.” Dilbert and Ginny separate. Elsewhere, Mina is at her job as a barista when she unknowingly comes into contact with a customer while handing him his coffee. “Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean—” She is interrupted when he suddenly falls to the ground. “What did you do, lady?” A bystander asks with incredulity. “What’s in this stuff?” another voice says. “Nothing. Well, not nothing. It has normal stuff in it,” Mina stumbles. “What? This Mocha Latte is just normal? I could’ve gone to Starbucks for normal,” a third customer complains. “Did I say normal? All our drinks are brewed to an exceptional quality. And besides, he didn’t have any of his drink,” she points out. “How else do you explain this?” The second person says. “It’s a long story,” Mina starts. “Well, I’ll make it short,” the third person promises, and turns to the crowd. “This lady has been tampering with our drinks, and I say we make her pay for it.” The crowd erupts in raucous cheers. Mina runs away in a hurry, and barely escapes to the back kitchen. Meanwhile, in Chile, Addie arrives at the mysterious Templo del Zorro. “I’m here. What do you want?” she yells to no one in particular. Just then, a group of foxdogs emerges from an apparently empty and extremely dark cave. “Come, Addison. We are having a meeting,” a reynard, or male foxdog, implores her. “Sure. Why not? I mean, I came all this way,” she reasons. “Excellent. Right this way,” a vixen, or female foxdog, gestures. “Wow, this cave is huge,” Addie observes. “And there are so many of us here. I didn’t know we were so numerous.” “You underestimate us,” a second vixen notes. “This is a mistake. And you know what we do with mistakes?” “No, I don’t. This is literally my first time meeting other foxdogs,” Addie reminds them. “We call ourselves zorreros.” “Dilbert’s not gonna be able to pronounce that,” she mutters under her breath. “And I’ll tell you what we do. We expel them, because mistakes are bad. Mistakes are why our entire population can fit here in this cave.” “That sounds terrible,” Addie says. “But couldn’t we try to learn from our mistakes, instead of unnaturally expelling them from ourselves?” “Why don’t you bring that up at the meeting?” the vixen says. Addie nods the way that someone would if they were in an unfamiliar place and an unfamiliar person said something that sounded more than a little bit odd. “Orland, she had wind powers prior to the Climacteric,” Dilbert says at the Summit. “So the Vacuum did redistribute powers,” Sol says. “But not all of them,” Rowena says. “I still have my powers.” “Searching for incidents with wind powers,” Orland says. “Crud. All of these are either Ariana, Yolanda Ramon, or just plain natural phenomena.” “Well, keep looking,” Sol orders. “We have to find this meta before they hurt someone." “Wait, back up,” Dylan says. “Who’s Yolanda Ramon?” “Oh, she was back from before you joined the team,” Rowena thinks aloud. “She was a weather manipulator, and she had some heroic actions, and some criminal actions.” “So, just like most of us,” Sasha observes. “She can be found in the Ravine,” Rory says in his best museum tour guide voice. “Although, she probably has different powers now,” he notes. “I got her,” Orland says. “Mina Sorenson. 28, barista at Quality Brews in Mahogany Grove. She had an alleged levitation incident in 2016, and just yesterday, she went off the grid after being attacked by an angry mob for alleged beverage manipulation.” “Why can’t you just say she put something in someone’s drink?” Sasha asks. “Because she says she didn’t,” Orland points out. “How do you know all that?” Rowena says. “Hacked the NSA, remember?” “Looks like we’re goin’ to Mahogany, folks,” Sol says. “Although, we don’t have our instantaneous transportation Addie, so we’ll have to go the old-fashioned way.” “Really? We’ve been on so many road trips this year, I’m getting a little sick of it myself,” Rowena complains. “No, I was gonna say we take the train. It goes right through Mahogany, and it’s much more direct than any roads that we could take.” “Can’t you just speed us there?” “Normally, yes, but we just ran the mile in PE today. I have to recharge.” “Oh, yeah, that’s right. Mahogany Grove is that little town that everyone says is so nice, but no one ever drives to because it’s in the middle of nowhere,” Dylan thinks aloud. “Well, it’s not exactly in the middle of nowhere. Anyway, suit up.” “Speaking of Addie, how is she?” Sasha asks. She turns on her comms. “Addie, how are you doing? We’re getting a little worried about you.” “I’m fine. But I can’t talk. I’m at a super-secret meeting,” she says. Her fellow zorreros hiss at her. She hisses back. “Gotta go. Bye.” “We are gathered here today to discuss the election of a representative to the Council of Magical Creatures. But first, we open up the floor to any less important proposals, so as to avoid ending on an insignificant note,” the leader says authoritatively. “Now?” Addie asks. “Yes,” the reynard tells her. “I have a proposal,” Addie speaks up. “Ah, yes. Our newest member. Addison Quick, the floor is yours.” “So, about this mistakes thing, how do you ‘expel’ them? Mistakes happen,” she starts. “When someone is about to make a mistake, we summon them here, much like we did you today, and take them to the MiStick. We press the MiStick to their chest, and suck out the mistake,” the leader explains. “But what if the person has made multiple mistakes?” Addie asks. “The MiStick can only handle one mistake at a time. It processes the mistake, and sends record of it to the logs. That way, they never make that same mistake again." “Okay, so here’s my proposal. We keep the knowledge in the people, so that they can learn from it, instead of unnaturally sucking it out of them so that they make the same mistake again,” she proposes. “Does anyone have any thoughts?” “I like it,” a young, attractive reynard says. “We need more progressive voices like you in government.” “Thank you. You’re hot.” “Why, thank you.” “Keep it professional, Ms. Quick,” the leader says. “Any thoughts from anyone other than Raúl?” “What will the new punishment system be?” someone says. “We’ll decide that later,” the leader says. “We’re running out of time here. And now, we vote on Ms. Quick’s proposal.” “All in favor, raise your hand." A surprisingly large amount of the congregation raises their hands. “And those opposed, do the same.” A slightly smaller portion of the people raises their hands. “The proposal passes. Any other items?” “What do we do with the MiStick, now that it is not being used?” a vixen asks. “All those in favor of storing the MiStick in a museum, raise your hands.” “All those in favor of developing the MiStick as a weapon of war, the same.” “It is decided. The MiStick will be converted into a weapon of war. Any other proposals?” A few seconds pass. “We now move to the reason why we are all gathered here today, to elect a representative for the Council of Magical Creatures. Your ballots are in front of you. Vote now.” After much deliberation, the leader comes forth with the results. “Okay. In third place, we have ... me.” He pauses for applause. “Interesting. I would have to resign from my current post. Good thing I didn’t win. Although, it is nice to know that I’m still popular with the reynards. Anyway, in second place, we have Barbara. Huh. I really thought she would win.” He pauses once more. “And, our representative to the Council of Magical Creatures,” he pauses for a third time out of shock, “Addison Quick.” He looks stunned, and Addie matches this look. “They don’t appreciate me,” Mina grumbles back in the States. “I should steal some of the world’s best coffee supply. That’ll show them. And I can just temporarily [moves finger across neck] anyone that tries to stop me.” “Whom, Mina,” Sean corrects her. “And by the way, I must advise against this. It will only result in bad things, not only for you, but for me, too, for being associated with you." “Go away, Sean.” “I won? That’s impossible. My name wasn’t on the ballot,” Addie exclaims at El Templo del Zorro. “The votes were write—ins. This is unprecedented. A write—in candidate has never won an office of this magnitude. Besides, you can’t win anyway. You’re not of age. We must have another election,” the leader determines. “But what about everything that Addie said about learning from our mistakes? Maybe this age law is a mistake, and the Council needs some fresh fangs,” Raúl points out. “Thank you, Raúl,” Addie says. “Danielle Torres, the Wendigo representative, is just two years older than I am.” All eyes turn to her. “We don’t like the Wendigoes. They have done nothing but try to take our lands. Regardless, we should have another vote. All in favor of amending the law in order to allow Addison Quick to be our Representative to the Council, raise your hand.” The counter counts for a staggering amount of time. “Wow, we never agree that much,” the leader observes. “Ms. Quick, you will leave at once for the Charm Capitol.” “Can I stop somewhere to say goodbye to my friends?” she asks. “By all means. Stop anywhere you like. The first Council meeting is not for a couple hours,” he says. Addie speeds over to Mahogany Grove. “What’s happening?” she asks. “We’re trying to stop Mina Sorenson here from attacking this coffee factory,” Sasha tells her. “Oh. That’s easy.” She brings Mina and her lookout back to the team in handcuffs. “Done. Now I have something to tell you guys. I was elected as the zorrero representative to the Council!” “Zorr— what?” Dilbert says. “The foxdogs. That’s what we call ourselves. I’m so excited. I get to enact real change. And there’s hot guys.” “I’m gonna pretend I’m not offended by that,” Orland quips. “Wow! That’s great. Good for you,” Sol congratulates her. “So, you’re leaving?” Rowena says. “Just when I was starting to like you,” Rory comments. “The feeling is mutual. And now, you guys can get back to actual superheroics and not just me doing your jobs for you,” she quips. “I’m gonna miss you,” Sasha says. “We all are,” Dilbert agrees. “Say it again.” Addie sighs. “Zorrero.” “Zorr— Zorr— Nope. Can’t do it.” “I’ll come back. Probably around May, when we always seem to need help. Team Tory for life!” All respond, “Team Tory for life!” She speeds off. “Wow. Does that mean there’s a free spot on the team?” Dylan asks. “Two spots, actually, with Mat gone,” Rowena says. “If so, I have some candidates,” Dilbert announces. “So do I, of course,” Dylan says. “That’s why I brought it up.” The new team walks away from the scene casually. Content warning: violence, gore
A high school student goes into a dentist’s office expecting a wisdom tooth extraction, but instead gets a tooth modification, such that his canine teeth resemble fangs. Predictably, chaos ensues. “So, you’re cured,” Orland says to Meryl at the Summit. “That’s it? I can leave?” Meryl asks. “Yes,” Rory says. “Enjoy your life,” Sol says. “But don’t do anything stupid. Because we won’t hesitate to find you.” “But call us if you need anything,” Matilda says. “I will,” Meryl promises, and departs. “Another life changed,” Orland says, pleased with himself. “What was that, Mat?” Sol says. “ ‘Call if you need anything?’ She’s a villain. We don’t trust her.” “I was just being nice,” she defends herself. “What, are you guys not about being nice here?” “Well, I’d best be going as well,” Travis says. “Why?” Dylan says. “I did what I came here to do,” he replies. “I have no interest in your villain-of-the-week activities.” “Actually, this year, you could say that there’s more of a serialized approach to our villains,” Dilbert quips. “Let us know if you change your mind,” Sol urges. “Will do,” Travis promises, and departs as well. “Curing Meryl was so invigorating,” Rory says at school the next day. “No offense, but stuff like that is why I took the job. Centaurs, not really my speed.” “None taken,” Dilbert says. “They weren’t really my speed, either,” Orland says. “I don’t know. You did body their leader.” “That was pretty cool, wasn’t it?” “I wish I could do more of that,” Rory says. “Not the bodying, but the epidemiology.” “You know,” Dilbert says, “you can. There’s a bunch of other metas in the Ravine. How’d you like to increase your sample size?” “That’s a great idea. I could write a paper about this.” “Just make sure you credit us,” Orland says. “I still can’t believe you’re leaving,” Sol says to Matilda. “Yep,” she says. “My dad got the job. We’re moving to Wisconsin on Friday.” “Ever since forever, I feel like it’s been the three of us. You, me, and Alex.” “I know. When we were apart, that was the worst three weeks of my life. And I want you to know that I don’t think of you as a killer. I just had to confront my own personal biases.” “It’s okay. I don’t blame you.” “Take care of the boys for me, okay? Especially Dilbert. He’s a bit of a pain sometimes, but I’ve seen the way you light up around him. Don’t screw that up.” “I’ll try. I’ve gotta get to class, but what do you think? Do you wanna come by the Summit after school? One last mission for the road?” “I wish I could, but I have to pack. I’ll see you at lunch.” That afternoon, Orland walks out of English class with Dilbert and Rory. “I frickin’ hate essays, you know that? They’re probably no problem for you, Mr. I’m-Going-to-Write-a-Paper-In-My-Free-Time.” “Actually,” Rory says, “scientific writing is very different from literal analysis.” “As far as I’m concerned, they’re both equal pains in my neck,” Dilbert says. He sees a blonde girl in front of him and ducks suddenly. “Speaking of pains in my neck.” “What are you doing?” Rory asks. “Who is that?” “Don’t look. That’s Freya Withers.” “I thought Freya was your friend,” Orland says. “Not exactly. She’s more of a—” “Frenemy?” “More like a nemesis. She’s my fremesis. She used to steal my hats in elementary school. She was everywhere. It was like magic. She caused a lot of emotional trauma for me and my friends, but we have sort of an uneasy truce now. As in it makes me uneasy to look at her.” “I can talk to her if you want.” “No, Orland, it’s fine—” “No one talks to my friend like that. Hey, Freya.” “Oh, no.” “Is that Dilbert?” Freya says. Her eyes seem unnaturally blue. “I couldn’t see you without your hat. And Orland? That doesn’t surprise me. You’re both dorks.” He takes out his wand. “Olvid—” “Is this yours?” She takes the wand. “Well, if I can’t have your hat, I guess this is as good a consolation prize as any.” “No, you can’t have that.” She runs off, and he tries to chase her, but quickly runs out of breath. “Physical activity. It never was my strong suit.” He sees Matilda, holding a binder. “Mat!” He makes a zap gesture with his hands. “Push?” she says. “What are you saying?” “Zap her.” She tries to do so, but Freya takes the binder from her hands. “I’ll be taking that,” Freya says. “Who the hell was that?” “That was Freya Withers, aka my old fremesis.” “She stole my binder.” “Yeah, well, she stole my wand.” “D**n. Should we go after her?” “Heck yeah, we should.” “Should I text Sol?” “No, this one’s personal. But I do think we should rope in the crew.” “Did her eyes seem really blue to you?” “Yes. I noticed that, too.” In his lab in the Summit, Rory is curing the metas from the Ravine. “You’re good to go. And remember, don’t tell anyone about this. It’s still in the planning stages.” He walks in the command center. “I think that’s the last of them.” “You’re doing a good thing here, Rory,” Orland says. “Yeah,” Sol says. “Even if most of these guys will just go right back to their evil ways.” “You don’t know that,” Sasha says. “Row and I didn’t go back. Second chances don’t come around all that much. Despite the fact that we’re in a town where weirder things have happened.” “Speaking of weird things,” Damian says, “did you hear about Jesse?” “Yeah, he’s lookin’ like a snack.” “He looks like we’re his snacks,” Rowena says. “This is why you never get your wisdom teeth out, kids,” Orland jokes. “What? No. That’s a terrible idea,” Rory says. “Anyway, what does this have to do with us? He isn’t posing a threat to anyone, apart from his dental hygiene.” “But he could,” Sol says. “Just think, if someone were to mistake him for a vampire, we could have a whole mess on our hands. Apart from all the other messes we’ve created lately, of course.” “And that isn’t even counting the Oreos that I had with lunch,” Orland quips. “You had Oreos, and you didn’t share? Not cool,” Addie tells him. He mouths, “Sorry.” “Guys!” Sol yells. “Focus. We have to get out in front of this. I’m gonna make a statement.” “But you’re terrible at public speaking,” Sasha says, and Sol glares at her. “We can practice,” Addie says. “Have you guys heard from Dilbert?” Sol says. “He said he’d be here today.” “No,” Orland says. “Nope,” Addie says. Sol’s phone dings. “It’s Mat.” She sounds out her text before she sends it. “Have you seen Dilbert?” “What did she say?” “Yes. We’re on a mission,” Sol reads. “A mission? Do they need any help?” “No, Dilbert said this one’s personal, and we already have help.” “Personal?” Marie says. “Who the hell is he to decide that?” “And what does he mean by ‘we already have help’?” Addie asks. “Is it Ariana? Phel? Max?” “The crew, whoever that is. Anyone know who ‘the crew’ could be?” “No,” Rowena says. “I’ve got nothin’,” Sasha says. “They’re his friends from elementary school,” Orland says. “Justin, Amara, and Nifu. Nice people, but no powers. One of us should go.” “I’ll do it,” Addie says. “No,” Sol says. “I need you here to help me practice my speech. Sasha, you go.” “You don’t want my help?” Sasha says. “You’re not the best at positive reinforcement.” “That’s fair.” “I am Promontory, and I have an announcement to make,” a costumed Sol proclaims in an auditorium. “There are rumors going around that another student at Ocean City High is a vampire. I can assure you, those rumors are false. Jesse Austin has simply been the victim of a botched dental procedure, and should be treated as such. Thank you.” She departs. We open on Dilbert and friends in a park. “Mat, Sasha, these are my friends, Justin, Nifu, and Amara,” he says. “Guys, this is Matilda and Sasha.” “I take it you’re fellow members of the Lonely Hats Club,” Justin Wang says. “What did Freya steal from you?” “She stole my binder,” Matilda says. “And what about you?” Amara Mekonnen says, indicating Sasha. “She stole my friend’s wand,” Sasha says. “The one from summer camp 10 years ago?” Nifu Suri asks. “Guys, there’s something I haven’t told you about that wand,” Dilbert says. He looks to Matilda and Sasha for approval, who nod. “Come with me.” He leads them to the men’s bathroom, where he takes off his hoodie and shirt to reveal his supersuit. Matilda and Sasha do the same. “You’re him,” Amara says. “The Digit-man or whatever.” “God d**n it, can someone get my name right? It’s the Prestidigitator.” “It’s too long,” Nifu says. “It’s all about branding.” “You’re one to talk, Nifu,” Sasha says. “What kind of name is that?” “I don’t even know. My real name is Riyansh. Someone just called me Nifu one day, and it sort of stuck.” “Okay, guys,” Dilbert says, “Freya always leaves a clue for us. I’m betting it’s here.” Amara looks around. “All I’m seeing is male grossness.” “Like this?” Justin holds up a drawing of a father and son playing catch. Above them are the letters G and O respectively. “What does it mean? Apart from Freya taunting those of us who grew up without father figures.” “I’ve got it,” Dilbert says. “G-O-catch. Geocache. What’s the nearest geocache to here?” “It’s at the Vietnam memorial,” Nifu says. “Sasha, please tell me Orland gave you the van.” “He doesn’t have it today,” Sasha says. “We all have to pile into my Forester.” “ ‘Should be treated as such?’” Rowena asks indignantly at the Summit. “Who are you, Mr. Trujillo?” “I don’t know. It was Orland’s idea,” Sol says. “Wow! Nice. Throwing me under the bus. Women, you know,” Orland says, and looks at Addie next to him. She replies, “I do,” in the meanest tone possible. “Anyway, I thought he deserved some sympathy. Was that so terrible?” “Yes,” Rowena says. “Jesse is an entitled jerk,” Marie says. “Always has been.” “Yeah, he’s been nothing but mean to me since the seventh grade,” Damian adds. “As far as I’m concerned, Jesse Austin can go die in a hole,” Dylan says morbidly. “Well, that got dark,” Addie says. They arrive at the memorial, but Amara is not impressed by Sasha’s driving. “Are you trying to kill us?” “Excuse me for trying to make good time,” Sasha says. “Some of us have other problems.” “Superhero problems?” Justin asks. “As a matter of fact, yes.” “Why are you here, Schaeffer? At band concerts, you never used to give Dilbert the time of day.” “Well, we’re friends now,” Matilda says. “And I told you, Freya stole my binder.” “Must be a really important binder.” “It is. I’m moving schools. I can’t afford to fall behind in my studies. Uh, Sasha, you’re not straight.” “Of course not. I’m bi.” “No,” Dilbert says, “the car’s not straight.” “Oh.” They get out of the car. “Okay, Freya, we’re here,” Dilbert says. “Give me back my wand.” Freya walks up to them. “Oh, you mean this? It has no use to me anymore.” She breaks the wand in half and, just for good measure, telekinetically makes it disappear. She runs away, and Dilbert and Justin attempt to stop her. “You think you can just do that and there won’t be any consequences?” the former says. “That’s not how it works anymore, Freya.” “That was incredibly rude,” Justin says, “even for you.” In response, Freya unleashes a white, airy demon that resembles a cream puff, which trips Dilbert, and traps Justin with some sticky, webbing-like substance. “I’d be more concerned about your friend if I were you.” “What the hell is that supposed to mean?” Nifu asks as Justin starts to expand. “This is normal, right?” Justin’s speech is muffled, but he is clearly speaking rapidly. “This kind of stuff happens to you all the time—” Realizing what’s coming, Dilbert looks away as his friend explodes into pieces. We open on Jesse Austin’s doctor asking him how he feels. “I feel fine,” he assures him. We then cut to his mom asking him the same question the next morning. “I’m so sick of people asking me how I feel,” he rages. “I feel like I want to send a message; then, people will surely know how I feel.” “This is bad,” Sol declares bluntly at the Summit. “If he gets out there, chaos will erupt. As soon as he opens his mouth, before he even starts speaking, he’s gonna be a target.” “But we don’t know where he is,” Addie points out. “How are we gonna stop him?” Marie speaks up. “I know where he is.” “Take me there,” Sol says. “So Freya is a witch,” Matilda says. “I’ve been saying that for years,” Nifu remarks. “God, he’s everywhere,” Sasha says. “Excuse me.” Amara leaves them abruptly, and Dilbert and the others can hear her being violently sick. Sasha goes to hold her hair back. “Can’t you do a cleanup spell or something?” Matilda asks. “I can’t trust my magic without my wand,” Dilbert says. Amara returns, rubbing at her mouth. “Okay, I’m back. Dilbert, what do we do now?” “If either of you want to back out, now would be the time.” “You’re joking, right?” Nifu says. Amara shakes her head. “No, we’re with you. Even more so now. I’ll kill Freya myself if I have to.” “I know Freya,” Dilbert says. “She’s evil, but she’s not a killer. Her eyes were so blue. Too blue. I think the centaurs are at it again.” “What?” Nifu says. “Mind control?” “Yeah, but they happened to pick a powered person, so it’s infinitely worse for everyone.” “What do you mean, powered person?” “The centaurs can control someone, but they can’t bestow powers on someone. So she must have had powers to begin with. Which means we can save her. My friend has a vaccine. If she’s a metahuman, it will cure her.” “If she does have powers, how come we didn’t know until now?” “That was probably by design. Even before the centaurs, the public hasn’t always been receptive to powered people. My teammates and I have seen our fair share of bigotry these past couple of years.” “But she doesn’t deserve it,” Amara says. “It doesn’t matter. Team Promontory doesn’t kill. As superheroes, we have a duty to save everyone.” “Didn’t Promontory kill that idiot Callahan last year?” “That was different. She was being controlled, much like Freya is now.” “And Mike was not an idiot,” Sasha says. “Okay, he was, but he grew a lot.” “Besides,” Dilbert says, “it’s not what Justin would have wanted.” That seems to convince Amara. “So how do we find her?” Sasha’s phone dings. “It’s Row. Jesse’s at the auditorium.” “Jesse Austin?” Nifu says. “What are you doing with that loner?” “Yeah, he’s hot now,” Matilda says. “And the object of supernatural attention.” “And thus Freya,” Dilbert says. “Let’s go.” “And whatever you do, stay away from the cream puff.” Jesse is at the same auditorium where Promontory gave her speech. “I would like to make a statement about my feelings. I’m feeling great, apart from these annoying fangs. If one more person asks me how I feel, I will show them what these nuisances can do.” Defender and Fleet arrive in order to wake him off the stage, but the scene quickly becomes a battleground. The elf-pixie alliance and the Wendigoes both enter the scene and engage in all-out combat. Fleet speeds the civilians out as fast as she could and then joins the battle along with Defender. “We could use some help here,” she yells over comms. Promontory, the Reg, and Tanuki arrive to help out the good guys, but no one knows who the good guys are. “Who are we fighting?” the Reg asks. “Everyone,” Promontory replies. “Both of them are terrible.” “Both?” “The alliance and the Wendigoes.” “Are those centaurs?” Tanuki asks. “Oh, come on.” “They must have struck a deal with the alliance,” Fleet says. “Of course they did.” “It’s not just them, either,” Marie says via comms. “There’s fairies and goblins here, too.” “I’m gonna pretend you didn’t just say that.” The battle is long. There are many casualties, especially when Freya and her cream puff demon enter the mix. “Do you notice something?” Promontory asks. “Notice what?” Fleet says. “The ghost from Ghostbusters is attacking everyone except the centaurs.” The Prestidigitator runs in. “That’s not a ghost. It’s a demon.” “What?” “It’s a demon. And its puppeteer is Freya Withers. Or more accurately, its puppeteers are the centaurs, via Freya Withers.” “Whatever it is, we have to stop it.” “Agreed.” He touches his comm set. “Rory, do you have more of the cure?” “Yeah,” Rory says. “Fleet, can you get a sample?” “On it.” Fleet returns not a moment later with the sample. “Now one of us has to get close enough to him to do it.” “I’ll do it.” “No. I’ll go. It’s too bad I can’t create a spell to sever her connection to the demon without my wand.” “Yes, you can.” Nifu comes up to them, followed by Ampere and Amara. “I know it,” Ampere says. “For Justin,” Amara says. “For Justin,” the Prestidigitator agrees. “Wait,” Ampere says. “How do you know she’s even a metahuman? She could just be a magic user.” “I’m taking a leap of faith here. Separe!” He successfully isolates Freya from the demon. The demon gets a hole through its chest and evaporates. “Go,” Fleet says. “Man,” Freya says, “you just don’t stop, do you?” “Not when I can save someone,” the Prestidigitator says. He fights Freya and, seeing that he is losing, gives Ampere the same signal from before. This time, she successfully zaps Freya, allowing the hero to inject her with the cure. Freya’s eyes return to normal as she wakes up. “How did I get here?” “It’s a long story. Basically, the centaurs mind-controlled you.” “The centaurs are back?” “Not for long, I hope.” Her confident veneer drops for the first time as she says, “What … did I do?” When she gets no answer, she adds hesitantly, “Did I … kill someone? What did you inject me with?” “It’s not your fault. We took away your powers, so this won’t happen again. We don’t wanna see you anymore.” “That was the right thing to do. I’ll be good. Model citizen. I promise.” “And stop stealing people’s hats. And binders.” “I will.” The Prestidigitator walks back to Promontory, Defender, and Tanuki. “Mission accomplished.” The heroine nods. “Where’s Jesse? Hey, Jesse!” For a moment, it seems like Jesse is actually a good person, saving a woman with elfin ears and pink hair. But, then he ruins the moment by kissing her. “God,” Defender says, “he’s still an a**hole, isn’t he?” “Yeah.” Tanuki notices the blonde staring at them longingly. “You wish that you had Jesse’s girl, don’t you?” “Can we get him out of here already? Hey, B-team,” Promontory says via comms, “how’s it going on that?” “Working on it,” Damian says. With the Reg and Marie’s assistance, he is able to evacuate Jesse and his elfin love interest. The battle continues to rage before Promontory says, “Okay, this has gone on too long.” She calls a ceasefire. “You want to have a say in the magical community, right?” She asks the fairies and elves, who nod. “And so do you,” she indicates the Wendigoes. “Well, what if there was an outcome in which you both had a say?” “I don’t follow,” Danielle says. “What if we invent a council, with one member of each of the top magical species, so that they can all have a say in how they are treated, both by each other and by the human populace?” “I like it. What species will populate said council?” the elf leader asks. “Every species will get one seat. Vampires, werewolves, elves, pixies, fairies, centaurs, Ubir, and Wendigoes will all be represented.” “When can we start?” Danielle asks. “You may elect your representatives now, while I have my associate clear space and bring in a table,” she says. “Wow, sentences I never thought I’d say,” she mutters to Defender next to her, who laughs softly. “So it is decided,” Sol says. “Danielle will represent the Wendigoes. Joseph will represent the elves. Tina will do the same for the pixies.” “I will represent the werewolves,” Aubrey Tennyson announces, to the shock and bewilderment of all. “Audrey,” Dylan breathes. “I’m glad she’s okay.” “Told you you had a crush on her,” Addie teases. “Shut up.” “Man, those werewolves were quiet,” Rory says to Orland under his breath. “I know. I feel like I haven’t seen any of them in over a year,” he remarks in a meta way. “I will represent the Ubir,” a woman declares in Turkish. “John will represent the centaurs,” a voice proclaims. “I will represent the fairies,” another voice says. “Okay, John,” Danielle says. “That just leaves the va—” Promontory looks at Marie. “I officially abdicate from the throne and appoint Marie Liu as both my successor and representative,” she says. Marie nods. “What about us?” The heroes turn to see a ghost - an actual one this time. “Yeah, what about the small species?” This was from a goblin. “And us,” a kitsune chimes in. “Fine,” Promontory says. “There can be an at-large seat for the ghosts, goblins, and kitsune.” “And the Vodyanoy,” a voice says from the back of the room. “And the Vodyanoy. Now I know that this system isn’t perfect, but for right now, it’s the best we got. I appreciate your cooperation. Good day to you all,” she concludes, and follows her team into the open sunshine outside the door to the new Charm Capitol. “What a strange name,” Tanuki opines. “How did it get there so fast?” Ampere asks. “I had to name it something,” Fleet says. “No one wants to come to the Building with No Name.” “Fair point.” “We did well today, team,” Promontory compliments them. “Except for Dilbert going rogue.” “Don’t worry,” the teen wizard says. “I’ll never do that again.” “Are you okay? Did your mission not go well?” “No, I got my wand back. But it turns out I didn’t even need it.” “Then what’s the problem?” “I lost someone. I thought it’d get easier after three years, but it never does. And he wasn’t one of us. He didn’t sign up for this.” “It’s always hard. But that’s why you have a team. You can lean on us. You can lean on me.” “Thank you. I’ll try to remember that.” “So, how was that for your last mission, Ampere?” “It’s a good one to go out on, that’s for sure,” the electrokinetic says. “I’ll definitely remember it, even when I form my own team in Wisconsin. Kidding. But maybe not. I bet they have crime over there.” “Yeah. Lots of dairy thieves, I’m sure. Just don’t make another best friend.” “I could never.” They hug. “Okay, now I really have to pack.” She leaves. “So, this is normal for you?” Amara says. “A bunch of non-human bad guys is just a walk in the park?” “Just a normal Wednesday,” the Prestidigitator says. “Yeah, you can keep this part of your life to yourself, Dilbert,” Nifu says. “But you have to hang out with us more,” Amara says. “I will,” the Prestidigitator says. “I promise.” Dilbert and Ophelia return to the Summit after going to Percy’s memorial service. “How was the trip?” Sol asks.
“It was a wonderful service,” Dilbert says. “It seemed like you were gone a long time.” “Oh, yeah. We may have done some light telekinetic larceny.” “Although,” Ophelia says, “is it technically larceny if we didn’t steal anything?” “Speaking of larceny,” Orland says. “Oh, no,” Sasha says. “We have a situation at the jewelry shop on 5th.” “We’re running at half strength today,” Sol says, “so everyone has to be on their A-games. Suit up.” The Prestidigitator tries to attack the jewelry thieves, but his wand suddenly stops working. “What’s wrong, Presto?” Promontory asks. “I got nothing,” the teen wizard says. “It’s okay. You’ve got this.” He just stands there while Promontory, Defender, and Ophelia engage the thieves. It begins to rain, so he takes out his umbrella. “The hell are you doing?” Defender says. “You want me to get wet?” “If I have to be wet, so should you.” “Hmm, that seems fair,” he says sarcastically. The team is stunned by a surge of wind, and his umbrella breaks, leaving a tiny, sharp end. “Ah, great.” Ophelia is losing to her thief. “You’re more than welcome to tag in here, Presto.” “How?” “You’re the genius.” “Okay,” he says hesitantly. He engages the thief with his umbrella, and uses the broken part to stab the perp. “D**n. You really are a genius. You don’t need that wand after all.” “Yep. Rihanna was right. This is all I need and more.” While in Spanish class the next day, Dilbert notices something odd about his new classmate, Danielle Torres, at the table opposite him. She appears to have two large fangs in a very odd location — the first molar space on either side of the maxilla. “I’m so excited for our date tomorrow,” Cassie says to Dylan that afternoon. “Me too,” he says. “Even though you haven’t told me where we’re going.” “I haven’t decided yet.” “Can we go to Baldacci’s? I’ve always wanted to go to that place.” “I can’t.” He quickly adds, “I mean, I can’t in good conscience go to Baldacci’s when DeMedici’s is so much better. How about 7?” “Sounds like a plan.” “Do you think there’s another phenotype?” he asks Sol that evening at the Summit. “No, that’s impossible,” Sol says. “I’ve never seen a vamp like the one you’ve described. This has to be something else.” “Or maybe it’s nothing,” Rowena says. Sol looks at her. “Have you thought about the possibility that maybe Dilbert is just seeing what he wants to see, and this is just some girl he’s crushing on, and he wants her to be special?” “It’s not that.” “How do you know?” Rory asks. “Because Dilbert would tell me if he had a crush on someone else. We tell each other everything.” “It’s true,” Dilbert says. “We do. Communication is the key to a good relationship.” The two kiss. “Ugh,” Orland says. “Gross.” “Could it just be gum?” Rory says, and Dilbert looks perplexed. “Yeah, everyone is chewing gum in class these days. It’s actually quite problematic,” Addie adds. “Says the girl who’s always doing her chemistry homework during band,” Rowena counters. “My statement still stands,” she replies, somewhat sheepishly. “I don’t think it’s gum,” Dilbert posits. “The fang never moved from its place.” “Well, maybe she likes to chew her gum there,” Orland ventures. “Even I don’t have that kind of chewing preference.” “Are you absolutely sure about this?” Matilda says. “This isn’t you trying to be useful since your wand shorted out?” “Yeah, what even happened there?” Ophelia asks. “I don’t know,” Dilbert says. “I took it to the shop. They were as lost as us. But I’m right about this. I know it.” “Dilbert was right last time,” Sasha says. “I say we give him the benefit of the doubt.” “Plus,” Addie says, “we all know that Spanish classes here are a hotbed of supernatural activity.” “Alright, then,” Rory says, “Prove it to us. If you’re right, this could be a huge scientific development. We could be famous.” “I can see the headline: Teen Computer Scientist and Friends Discover Groundbreaking New Humanoid Species,” Orland adds. “Wait. Why do you get all the credit?” Dylan says. “Just let him have this one,” Addie suggests. “I gotta get to Heliotrope,” Matilda says, “but good luck with this.” “They’re really giving you weird hours there, aren’t they?” Sol says. “Not as weird as my dad’s. He’s been working overtime a lot lately, trying to get a promotion. See you guys.” “I’ll do some recon,” Dilbert says, “and I’ll have an answer for you by tomorrow.” “We’re looking forward to it,” Sol adds. The next day in class, Dilbert spies on Danielle, with less-than-desired results. <¿Qué estás haciendo? > Danielle asks him. What are you doing? <Investigación,> Dilbert replies. Investigation. <¿Investigación de que?> Danielle persists. Investigation of what? <Investigación científica de otras personas,> Dilbert clarifies. Scientific investigation of other people. <Pues, yo preferiría si continues su investigación a su mismo,> Danielle tells him, and ends the conversation. Well, I would prefer if you kept your investigation to yourself. Meanwhile, Travis and Rory make some substantial headway on Meryl’s cure. “I think we might have a winner here,” the former says. “Are you sure?” the latter asks. “I am. It passed all the necessary tests.” “What are we waiting for? Let’s give it to her.” “She’s having second thoughts,” Travis explains. “Sounds like we need to talk to her.” “So, that didn’t go well,” Sol summarizes for the group that evening at the Summit, based on what Dilbert said. “On the contrary,” Dilbert begins, “I now have confirmation that she does indeed have fangs in the spots that I have described.” “Oh, really?” Sasha asks. “She wasn’t chewing when we were talking, and her fangs never moved once. Her tongue also gravitated towards them, as one would with such a large fang,” Dilbert reasons. “ ‘As one would,’” Rowena repeats sardonically. “I love how he’s so casual with this stuff.” “He has to be,” Dilbert says, referring to himself in the third person, “otherwise, we wouldn’t stand a chance. I’m the glue that holds this team together.” “Really? All this time, I thought I was the glue,” Orland thinks aloud. “Anyway, we have another topic to discuss when Dilbert stops bragging,” Addie speaks up. “This new species, Danielle’s species, they might be trying to fill the power vacuum left by the centaurs. We have to have a contingency plan for this.” “Wait a second. Hold up,” Sasha says. “More vacuums? I thought we were done with all that." “We are done with literal vacuums, but we are apparently still dealing with metaphorical ones,” Rowena clarifies. “We have to gather more intel on Danielle, and see if she is of high standing within her species, so she can persuade them to abandon their plans, should they exist,” Dilbert announces. Dylan and Cassie arrive at DeMedici’s, and both try to open the door for the other, resulting in a collision. “Oh, I’m sorry,” they both say at the same time. “So, what are you gonna get?” Dylan asks her. “Maybe some water for your head? The fettuccine looks really good.” “I’m gluten-free,” Cassie reveals. “Oh. Well, how about the chicken?” “I’m a pescatarian.” “I’m sorry, I didn’t know. The Ceasar salad here is pretty good.” “No, pescatarian, not vegetarian. It means I like fish.” “Why? It’s so slimy.” “I don’t question your choices.” Dylan raises his hands in surrender. “So, Meryl, we heard you’re having doubts about the cure,” Rory says. “Yeah, you could say that,” she agrees. “Do we need to remind you what could happen if you don’t take it?” Travis asks. “No, I just thought, What if this is the only thing that makes me special?,” Meryl explains. “Like, what if I could channel it into something good?” “All our evidence suggests that your condition does not come with morals,” Travis says, and Rory lightly jabs him in the arm. “That was one time. You’re scientists. That’s not a big enough sample size.” “It was big enough for us,” Rory opines. “You hurt a lot of people that day, including my friend Sasha. And most were worse off than her.” “I’m sorry about your friend,” Meryl apologizes. “I really am. But I don’t know if I’m ready to take something that will change my life so drastically.” “Okay. We can respect that,” Travis says, and departs with Rory. Meanwhile, back at DeMedici’s, the server gives Dylan the check, and both he and Cassie put their cards in. “Oh, you go,” Cassie says. “No, I picked the place,” Dylan says. “I should pay.” “Fine.” She reaches for her water glass, but so does Dylan, and he causes hers to spill all over her blouse. “Fantastic.” “Cassie, I don’t think this is working.” “Why? Because you’re a jerk, or because you’re a klutz? You know, for a guy who throws rocks, I thought you’d have better coordination. But the other thing? That doesn’t surprise me.” “You’re still upset about the centaurs?” “I lost my dad because of you. Apparently, he wasn’t worth anything to them, because they walked him straight into oncoming traffic. And the worst part is, I didn’t even know until three weeks later.” “I’m sorry. That’s horrible.” “That’s what happens when you heroes are allowed to run amok without consequences. Thanks for dinner, Dylan. I’ll see you around.” She leaves. Dilbert is able to get Danielle to open up, surprisingly. It turns out that she is a member of a very wealthy family within the Wendigo community. “Oh, those guys are bad news,” Sasha informs the team at their meeting at the Summit. “Wait, how do you know? We’ve never met a Wendigo before,” Rowena says. “I met some back when I was working for Anita. I was lucky I wasn’t killed, or worse.” “You know I hate that about our field, the fact that dying is not the worst thing that can happen to us,” Orland says drily. “I love that you can be so open about your past,” Rowena compliments her. “Anything for the team,” Sasha says. “I’m so glad y’all are friends again,” Sol says, “but how do we defeat them?” “Well, first off, we don’t know if they’re a threat,” Orland reminds the team. “We can’t be making up problems if they don’t exist.” “Oh, I’m pretty sure they exist,” Addie counters. “Vampires, centaurs, the EPA, Kira. Every magical creature that we meet is against us.” “You should be sure, though, Dilbert,” Rowena advises. “Yeah, I don’t wanna go in guns blazing and chip my fang again. That super-sucked,” Sasha says. “Noted,” Dilbert says, and departs. He is able to confirm that the Wendigoes are, in fact, malicious, although Danielle is not part of their nefarious plot. <Veré lo que puedo hacer para cambiar su rezago,> Danielle promises. I'll see what I can do to change their backwardness. “She’s on our side,” Dilbert announces triumphantly at the Summit that evening. “How ‘bout that?” “Gotta hand it to you, Dilbert. You had faith when none of us did,” Addie compliments him. “Hey, it’s what I do.” “What do we do now?” Dylan asks. “We wait for Danielle to exercise her ‘powers of persuasion,’ as she calls them.” “Those can be very effective,” Addie says. She catches Sasha’s look and adds, “Not those kind of powers. Get your mind out of the gutter.” “The gutter would be a paradise compared to where my mind is right now,” Dylan says. “Things didn’t work out with Cassie?” “No. But it wasn’t because of anything I did. Well, it wasn’t because of anything Dylan Cassidy did.” Sasha nods knowingly. “You’ll find someone. For some reason I can’t figure out, people like you. You’ll be back out there in no time.” “I hope so. But man, she was cute.” “How cute?” Upon seeing his look, she says, “I’m just messing with you, dude. Lighten up.” “Yeah, lighten up,” Rowena says. “We’re gonna be freedom fighters.” “She was able to stall them, but they are still proceeding with the coup,” Dilbert says at the Summit the next day. “I don’t know about this Danielle character,” Orland thinks aloud. “It sounds like she’s not doing everything in her power to fight this.” “Why don’t you tell her yourself?” Dilbert says, and Danielle steps into the room. “Ah, the famous Danielle,” Rory says. “We’ve heard so much about you, love.” “What’s this guy—Oh, he’s British. I forgot that they do that sometimes,” Danielle comments. “She walks in here, and right away starts throwing shots at people,” Sasha says. “Welcome to the club.” “I like this one,” Dylan opines. “She’s feisty.” Addie punches him lightly. “Ow.” “So, what’s the plan? How do we defeat these woeful wendigoes?” Rowena asks. Danielle bares her fangs at her. “Got it,” she nods. “The insurgency will attack the seat of government, here. We will enter from here and counter them,” Danielle says. “I don’t know. Last time we tried to be counterinsurgents, it didn’t go so well,” Sasha recalls. “Yeah, we almost got defanged,” Sol says. “I’d prefer not to do that again. But we won’t have to, if we play this right.” “We won’t have to, even if we play this wrong,” Danielle corrects her. “Wendigoes don’t do that. We prefer a quick and easy death.” “Well, that’s a relief,” Dylan says. “Oh, wait. Still scared.” “You’ll be fine, Dylan,” Sol assures him. “We gotchu.” “Okay,” says an unconvinced Dylan. “Suit up.” Meryl pushes the assistance button in the Summit, and Travis arrives. The button was Orland’s idea, and he gets constant flak for it. “Have you made your decision?” Travis asks. “I have,” she says. “And?” Rory inquires, causing Travis to jab him again. “I have decided to take the cure,” Meryl reveals. “Good,” Travis says. “I’ll go and prep it.” “It was an easy decision, really,” she realizes. “I don’t want to be a menace to society who’s locked up in here for the rest of her days.” “What about all that stuff about channeling it into something good?” Rory queries. “I realized that what I was before was good enough.” “Are you ready?” Travis asks, and Meryl indicates her agreement. He injects her with the cure. “Did it work? Do you feel anything?” Rory inquires. “I feel like myself,” Meryl answers. “No predatory instincts. I feel like — what’s the word? — a champion.” “I see what you did there.” At the seat, the counterinsurgency initially goes according to plan. However, things take a side turn when Danielle decides to sell out our protagonists. “These people are conspirators! They were contesting your power,” she blares. “Take them away!” “Seriously? I knew we couldn’t trust you,” Addie says. “Why, Danielle? Why now?” Dilbert asks. “Those ‘woeful wendigoes’ are my family,” she responds. “These are the consequences of your actions, Dilbert. You shouldn’t have messed with us.” Dylan looks around at the cells that our heroes are in. “How are we gonna get out of this?” “You’re like my mom watching Toy Story 3,” Rowena groans. “The aliens got them out, if I remember correctly,” Dylan says. “Well, we don’t have aliens,” Addie reminds him. “Maybe not the kind you’re thinking of,” Dilbert says casually. “Hello? It’s me, hi. I’m the alien. I can time-travel us out of here.” “What are you waiting for?” Sasha says. “Do it.” “Revierto!” Nothing happens. “Revierto!” “Maybe you said it wrong,” Sol says. “No, I didn’t. I’m not very good—” “So you’re him,” Danielle sneers. “The magician.” “Prestidigitator.” “Not much of a wizard without your magic, are you?” “That was you?” “Wendigoes turn off magic wherever we go. One of our many perks.” “I don’t even wanna know what the other ones are,” Orland says. Sol bares her fangs. “You can’t keep me here. I’m the vampire queen.” “Oh, no,” Danielle mocks. “Is Queen Baby Fangs gonna have a hissy fit?” She leaves as Sol hisses. Sasha notices Dylan pressing his Tory Watch. “What are you doing? All our friends are here. Except Orland and Rory. But they don’t count.” Addie tries to phase through the cell bars, but finds that she cannot. “D**n. It’s speedster-proof.” Rowena shifts into a mouse, but the bars change into a solid wall. “And it’s shifter-proof, too,” she says once she gets back to human form. “Maybe you should try one more time,” Sol says. “Like I was trying to say earlier,” Dilbert says, “I’m not so good without the wand. But I’ll try. Rev—” He is interrupted when the wall is blown down in front of them, revealing weather manipulator Ariana Hunter. “Heard you guys had some stormy weather.” “We did actually have some rain earlier.” “Oh, thank God you’re okay,” Marie Liu says. “F**king wendigoes, man. Nasty sons of b***hes.” “Yeah, I’d agree with that,” Sol says. “Thank you for coming.” “When your queen’s in trouble, you don’t hesitate.” “Hey, Bridgerton.” Ophelia is fighting a wendigo with a sword. “Can we get out of here now?” Addie and Marie speed our heroes back to the Summit. “Special delivery,” the former says. “I was wondering what took you so long,” Orland says. “Ariana,” Rory says. “You’re here.” “I go where the wind takes me,” Ariana says, “and today the wind blew me back here.” “You haven’t been responding to my texts.” “I’ve been busy.” “I’m just glad you’re okay. I miss having D&D nights with you.” “I’m in town for a few days. We should get one going.” “Great. I’ll text the guys.” “Well, that was fun,” Dylan says. “Not.” “Let’s turn on the news,” Orland says, “see what’s brewing in Wendigo Town.” “The Wendigo monarchy makes a statement to the world,” Veronica Watson says. “ ‘We’re coming for you, magical community,’ it seems. Watch out. You never know wen dise terrifying creatures will strike next.” “I’d venture sooner rather than later,” Dilbert says. “We made an enemy of some powerful people today. That doesn’t go away lightly.” Sol turns the TV off. “Well, looks like we’ve got our work cut out for us.” Previously on:
“Back in 2016,” Team Tory’s ally, time traveler Humberto Diaz, says, “in North Carolina, me and this girl, Kira Bay, were tween grease cops. Rival restaurants went around stealing their competitors’ grease, and the cops were stocked with the night shift, so they hired us. We were the best in the state, that is, until Kira left.” “Row’s our best hope of finding her.” She goes back to Rowena. “Kira Bay.” “Never heard of her. But that doesn’t affect my craft.” “Sure hope not.” A few seconds pass. “I’m not finding any mentions of that name. Who’s the newbie?” “Anna,” Anna says. “We have history together.” Sol steps in. “She’s Sasha’s—” “She’s my girlfriend,” Sasha says. “We’ll talk about it later, I promise. Right now, we have to save the city.” “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about us, Row,” Sasha says. “I’ve been so busy, between the team and everything, but I should have.” “I get it,” Rowena says. “I just thought we were a team.” “We are. And I’ll try to remember that.” “All superheroes must die,” one of Kira’s lieutenants says. “Agreed,” Kira says. “Looks like I’m gonna have to do some recruiting.” Kira’s forces engage the team in the hills of Ocean City. Promontory uses her superhuman speed to plow through the melee to face Kira. “Kira, you don’t have to do this. We’re both vampires. Work with me.” “Yes, I am a vampire,” Kira says, “but I’m not like you. I’m a tetrabrid, a part vampire, werewolf, elf, and fairy.” “She just handed us her weakness. It’s her ears. Tetras rely on their ears to maintain the balance between all of their sides. If your venom is released into them, all the sides will break out at the same time, and she will knock herself out,” Fleet explains. Promontory does so. Sol, Dilbert, and Tine escort Kira to prison. “You’re not putting me in your stupid Pipeline, are you?” “Nope,” Dilbert says. “You’re too dangerous.” “I really want to kill her,” Sol says, “but I won’t. She could prove useful to us in the future.” “Summit to field team,” Orland says over comms during the first battle with the centaurs. “How’s it going out there?” “Not great, Lighthouse,” Promontory says. “We’re getting our a**es kicked here.” “You can do it,” Max Tillman says. “You saved the world twice. This is no big deal.” “Is that Max?” the Prestidigitator says. “Why aren’t you out here?” “I figured I had enough s*xy scars for a while. Thought I’d focus on staying alive instead.” “You can’t turn it off,” Orland says, “can you?” “Turn off what? It’s not my fault that I ooze s*x appeal. Why? Does it bother you?” “I just don’t like hearing about that stuff.” “Why not? There must be someone you’d want to get a scar for.” “I’m ace, if you must know.” “Oh. I feel dumb.” “It’s okay. Only you, Dilbert, and Tara know.” “Who’s Tara?” “They’re the one I’d get a scar for.” Sasha Alejo and a returned Rowena go back-to-back while fighting the centaurs. They are surprised at the implications of this. The moment doesn’t last long, though, as Sasha has to break off in order to save Matilda from one of the centaurs. She uses her sword to cut through the centaur’s left legs, sending him toppling down. Rowena watches as all the centaurs do the same thing. “That was pretty bad*ss, what you did.” “Oh, that?” Sasha says. “It’s nothing. If you had a sword, I’m sure you would’ve done the same thing.” “It was special. Mat certainly thought so.” “Yeah, I think she has a girl crush on me now.” Rowena chuckles. “But seriously, I know I couldn’t have done that.” “But you’re a shifter. That’s so much cooler than a chick with a sword.” “Not here, it’s not. If I transformed, one of those things would’ve yeeted me to Rhode Island faster than Max’s bat.” “Well, I for one am glad you’re here, again, with me.” “Me too.” The blonde leans in for a kiss, but Rowena backs away. “That was stupid. I don’t know why I did that.” She walks off. Team Promontory is still searching for the all-elusive elf-pixie alliance. “Okay, good news, guys,” Sol says at the Summit. “Orland has found a possible location for the alliance. But, someone needs to watch Lacey.” “Who?” Dylan says. “Manic pixie elf girl,” Dilbert supplies. “Any volunteers?” Sol asks. “I’ll do it,” Sasha says, stunning everyone. “What? I’ll take any excuse to get out of school,” she reveals, which comes across as slightly less shocking. “We could have the cops do it,” Dilbert suggests. “Perfect. That’s, like, their thing,” Dylan adds. “They may have infiltrated the police,” Orland points out. “‘Infiltrated?’ Maybe we should cancel Orland’s Disney+ subscription,” Addie advises. “He’s obviously been watching too much Alias.” “You can never have too much Alias,” Rory opines. “Really? I never got into it,” Matilda reveals. Dilbert gives her a stunned look. “Anyway, Sasha, you should get going,” Sol says. “Row will be with you.” “Seriously?” the blonde says. “Seriously. This has gone on long enough. I can’t have two of my best assets not on speaking terms. Addie, if you would.” The speedster promptly runs Sasha to Lacey’s house. “I can’t believe you never got into it,” Dilbert says to Matilda, who shrugs. The next day at school, Max Tillman is walking with Dilbert, Orland, and Tara Fowler. A former full-time member of Team Tory, Max is Dilbert’s former Confirmation classmate and Sol’s ex. His hero name is Harrington, because he doesn’t have any powers, just a bat like Steve in Stranger Things. “You’re sure you don’t need any help with this alliance stuff? I have the day off for some random holiday. So I’m free for” — his voice drops to a whisper — “Team Tory shenanigans.” “It’s okay, dude,” Tara says. “I know.” Tara is Orland’s partner who recently (albeit inadvertently) found out about his extracurricular activities. “You must be Tara. I’m Max.” “What’s your power? Are you the rock guy? The X-ray guy? The guy who makes people panic?” “I don’t have one. But people say I’m good with a bat, which I guess makes me Batman.” “Oh, so you’re the himbo.” “Which one?” Dilbert says. “What?” Max says. “Which holiday do you have off?” “I don’t remember. And I don’t care. But I feel like beating up some bad guys, so put me in, coach.” “Not guys,” Orland says. “Elves.” “And pixies,” Dilbert adds. “I appreciate your offer, Max, but I think we’ve got this. The elves and pixies aren’t magic users, and in case you forgot, my girlfriend’s a vampire.” Sol walks up to them. “The vampire queen, actually.” “Well, let me know if you change your mind.” Max leaves. “Will do.” “What was that about?” Sol asks. “Oh, he just wanted us to invest in another one of his startups. You know how he is. We call him Internet Explorer, because they always take forever to start up.” Sol nods, unconvinced. “Who are you?” Lacey asks upon seeing Sasha park her conspicuously nice Cadillac in front of her house. “I’m here to protect you. Dilbert Silvercloud sent me,” Sasha replies. “I don’t want anything to do with that prick.” “It’s for your own good, I can assure you. And you won’t be seeing him anytime soon, if all goes well.” “What do you mean, ‘if all goes well?’” “Well, Dilbert and the team are currently searching for the alliance.” “What do you mean, the team?” Rowena walks up to them. “We represent an organization that has Ocean City’s best interests at heart.” Lacey suddenly realizes. “You’re with Promontory, aren’t you? Go away.” “Wouldn’t be the first time,” Sasha mutters. Rowena ignores this. “Excuse me?” she says to Lacey. “I lost six weeks of my life because of you ‘heroes.’” “We think that the alliance might be looking to activate you,” Sasha says, “so Promontory sent us to protect you.” “‘Activate’ me? ‘Alliance?’” What does that mean?” “Why don’t you let us in,” Sasha insinuates, “and we’ll tell you.” “This worked out great,” Harrington says outside of a sketchy-looking warehouse. “I’m so glad you changed your mind, Promontory.” The Prestidigitator is clearly annoyed. “Yes. So glad.” Promontory ignores them. “Is this the location, Lighthouse?” “Affirmative, Promontory,” comes the response. “Then let’s kick some elfin’ a**.” She kicks down the door. Harrington says, “I can’t wait to beat up some bad … guys.” He looks around at the empty room. “Where are they?” “So, that mission was a bust,” Matilda says at the Summit. “It was probably faulty intel,” Max says. “My intel was not faulty,” Orland says. “Any more leads, Lighthouse?” Sol asks. “Not yet. By the way, we should come up with another name for them.” “Why? ‘The alliance’ is effective, yet mysterious,” Rory opines. “Yeah, but what if we have to refer to other alliances, like the one we had with Marvin last year,” Dilbert points out. “How about the elf-pixie alliance,” Matilda suggests. “The EPA, for short,” Dylan says. “That’s an omen for sure,” Addie opines. “What’s an omen?” Before Addie can answer, Orland says, “EPA it is. I’ll keep a lookout for them. Sol?” “Do I have to?” Sol says. “I think we need to.” “And I know someone who can help,” she says reluctantly. “Can I come?” Max says. “I thought you only had one day off,” Dilbert says. “I’m the night manager, remember? I can show up a little late if need be.” “Okay, Max, you’re in,” Sol says. “Addie?” They leave. Orland pulls Dilbert aside. “What’s the matter with you?” “Nothing,” Dilbert says. “It’s a beautiful day. I aced my math test.” “No, I mean you’ve been acting all weird around Max, almost like you don’t want him around.” “I don’t.” When Orland doesn’t say anything, he says, “Promise me you won’t tell anyone any of this?” “Of course.” “When I broke up with Sol, Max was just waiting for his shot with her. And I have this irrational fear that he’ll try to weasel back in again. Especially with Sol’s new title. That enhances his status.” “Max is a good guy. He won’t do anything dishonorable. But I’m not the one you should be talking to about this.” “Yeah, I know.” “You really think Kira will help us?” Addie asks. “As evil as she is, we have to try,” Sol says. “So Kira’s not in the Ravine, right?” Max says. “No, we deemed her too dangerous,” Sol says. “So we have to go to prison.” “Ooh, like on that show about the Giants colors?” Sol looks puzzled. “I think he means Orange is the New Black,” Addie says. “Sure,” Sol says. Sol, Addie, and Max show up at Kira’s cell, and are met with immediate sarcasm. “Oh, great, it’s the vamp and her lackeys.” “The only thing I’m lacking is a reason not to punch you in the face,” Addie retorts. “We just want some information,” Sol begins. “We want to know if you know where the EPA headquarters are.” “The EPA? Isn’t that that government agency that no one likes?” Kira asks. “Don’t play coy with us,” Addie warns, leaning in close and baring her fangs. “We know you know something.” Kira too bares her fangs as she says, “What is this, good cop, bad cop? You think I’m intimidated by this? I invented good cop, bad cop. I was the bad cop, of course. Except when Humberto wanted to switch off—” “The alliance,” Sol says, cutting her off. “I don’t know,” Kira replies. “I never associated with them. They were too scared of my enthu—” “Your volatile nature,” Addie corrects her. “One bite to the ear was enough to take you down,” Max says. “How did you not prepare for that?” “What makes you think I didn’t?” Kira asks cryptically. “How dumb do you think I—” Sol turns to Addie. “Do the thing.” Addie phases her hand through Kira, who doesn’t budge. “I’m a speedster too, remember?” “I’ll do it,” Addie warns. “No, you won’t. And besides, I don’t know anything,” Kira insists. “Sidebar,” Sol commands. “She’s lying to us,” she whispers. “How do you know?” Addie asks. “I’ve been at this for longer than you,” she reminds her. “Trust me, I know.” “So, what do you wanna do now?” Max asks. “We need to bring in Tanuki,” is her response. They depart. “Nice talk,” Kira yells after them. “The alliance sounds pretty scary,” Lacey says. “The EPA,” Rowena corrects her. “Boy, that’s a lovely name,” she comments. “What if you’re wrong about them?” “But we’re not,” Sasha says. “Literally every magical creature that we’ve ever encountered has been against us — the vamps, the centaurs, not to mention last year’s greatest hits.” “D**n. That’s bleak.” “It’s the truth. But I know a thing or two about magical species, elf, pixie, or otherwise.” “What do you mean? Are you two— no offense.” “It’s fine. And to answer your unanswered question, yes and no.” Sasha reveals her fangs. Lacey stands up and takes a step back. “I’m human. Was human, anyway. I gained my attributes” — she pauses — “as the result of an experiment by Anita Grayson.” “The maniac who attacked the South Corner two years ago,” Lacey catches on. “And what about you, Row?” In response, Rowena says, “Think of a number.” “Why?” “Just do it. Do you have one?” “Yes.” “Is it 42?” “How?” “I’m a telepath. Now think of an animal.” Lacey does, and Rowena shifts into a tortoiseshell cat. “That’s amazing.” “Show-off,” Sasha mutters. “Do you ever … wish things turned out differently?” Lacey says. “I am at peace with my new self,” Sasha says, “but sometimes, I remember what it was like to be normal.” “None of us are normal,” Lacey says, “least of all me, from what you’ve been telling me. So, I have like these dormant elf genes, and the alliance—” “EPA.” “EPA—can activate them just by biting me. I’m glad I have you here.” “Anytime,” Rowena promises. “Even if we are stuck here. Let’s watch something about other not-normal people,” Lacey suggests. “How about Friends? Because we’re all friends now, right? I’m pretty sure we are.” “I thought we were,” Sasha says. “Okay, what is going on with you? You’ve been on Row’s a** since she got here.” “Why don’t you ask her? She’s the one who’s been avoiding me.” “Sash,” Rowena says, “I—” Her Tory Watch dings. “Let me guess. It’s your new friends in Connecticut.” “No. It’s Promontory. I’m sorry. I have to go.” She leaves. Dilbert catches up with Quiana after school. “‘Sup, Quiana,” he says, with a level of confidence that he did not have two years prior. “Hey,” she responds. Dilbert gets right to the thick of it. “So, you don’t see me any differently because of my” — he tries to find the right word — “condition?” “Nope,” she assures him. “All my life I’ve encountered people who perpetuate the stigma surrounding autism,” he reveals. “It’s refreshing to meet someone who doesn’t believe in that sort of thing.” “I don’t tend to believe in something that isn’t true,” Quiana replies. “I just wish there were more people like you in the world,” Dilbert says wistfully. “Me too,” says a not-very-stealthy Dylan from behind them. Dilbert notices Quiana’s orange socks. “I like your socks. They’re pretty.” Quiana is surprised. “Thank you.” “You know, many people don’t appreciate orange.” “Well, then many people are missing out. I’ll see you.” “See you.” We cut to Comrade Ferreira and the pixie in the tree. “We need to be careful. The humans are getting closer. They talked to Kira Bay.” “So?” the pixie responds. “She’s not with us anymore, Comrade Ferreira.” “True. But she still knows too much. And I told you before, you can call me Maria.” “They have no reason to trust her, Comrade Ferreira. No one does.” “They might have no choice, Chad.” “I really hate when you call me that. My name is Cheslav Dorokhin.” “That’s too long. Names have to be short and grab your attention. You know, they’re calling us the EPA.” “What an unimaginative name. The Alliance for the Preservation of Woodland Creatures is not going down like this. We will find them, and we will bathe the trees with their blood.” Maria shakes her head. “You’re so emo, Chad.” “It’s not emo. It’s vengeance.” “It’s emo.” “Agree to disagree.” Sol, Addie, and Max enter Kira’s cell once again, with Rowena in tow. “Brought the cavalry, did you?” she taunts. “We know you’re not telling us something,” Sol reveals, “and Tanuki here will tell us what that is.” “Tanuki, huh? Serves her right, that little scoundrel.” “Look who’s talking,” Max says. “We know that your EPA headquarters are in the Taconic Mountains,” Rowena says. “Taconic? That’s in Connecticut,” Orland replies over comms. “They must’ve had to relocate after Virginia,” Rory says. “Wait. Take me with you,” Kira implores. “And why would we do that?” Addie asks, her voice dripping with contempt. “The alliance doesn’t welcome outsiders,” Kira explains. “If I come with you, I might be able to get us in.” She reveals her pointed ears. “And why should we trust you?” Rowena asks this time. “Those guys are afraid of me,” Kira reminds them. “I want to get rid of them as much as you do.” “We don’t want to get rid of them, per se. We just want to prevent them from filling the power vacuum left by the centaurs,” Sol says. “If they’re afraid of you, why would they let you in?” Addie points out. “I’m not gonna show my face right away,” Kira reveals, like it’s obvious. “What do you think I am, an amateur?” There is a slight pause. “So, are we going or not?” Max says. Dylan is playing volleyball in PE class. This is his best sport, but he wouldn’t call himself excellent at it. “Wow. We are cancer,” one of his classmates remarks after a loss. “Yeah, because you guys were autistic,” another opines. “We all have cancer, but only one of us is autistic,” Dylan thinks. “So, do you want to play another game,” the first classmate asks Dylan. “Actually, I think I’m good,” Dylan says, considering their feelings about these conditions. “What’s the matter? You’re too scared, Cassidy?” the second classmate asks. A third boy begins making chicken sounds. Several others follow suit. “No. I’m just counting my options,” Dylan replies cautiously. “Looks like you don’t have very many options,” the third classmate counters, “unless you want to play with the girls.” Dylan shakes his head. “So, I guess you have to play with us,” the first classmate summates. “No. You guys clearly have no respect for autistic people,” Dylan declares valiantly. “What is he talking about?” someone asks. “It’s a real condition, and it deserves to be treated with respect,” he continues. “I’ll show you respect,” the first classmate thunders, and almost knocks Dylan to the ground before Addie comes and speeds him away. “You saved me,” Dylan says. “Of course I did,” Addie says. “It’s what I do.” “Does being a hero pay well?” Lacey asks. Sasha is confused. “What?” “Your car.” “Oh, yeah. It was my mom’s.” “Lucky. The only thing my mom gave me was my half-sister’s c**ppy hand-me-downs.” “Been there,” Rowena says. “Man, this sucks. It’s basically like quarantine,” she quips. “Except there’s no disease,” Sasha points out. “And yet,” Rowena says, “I’m still stuck with you.” “Okay, that’s it,” Lacey says. “I can’t take this anymore. You two have to talk things out.” “She has to talk first,” Sasha says. “Sash, I’m sorry,” Rowena says. “You surprised me, and I didn’t know what to do.” “So you closed yourself off? I’d been working up the courage to kiss you for—” “I don’t like you like that.” She sees Sasha about to leave. “No, wait. I want my friend back. My whole life, people have been leaving me. Eventually, I learned to be the one to leave. But I don’t want to leave you.” “I don’t want that, either. We’re a team, right?” “Always.” They hug. “See? Don’t you feel so much better?” Lacey says. “I still want to go out, though.” “You can’t,” Sasha insists. “Not with the EPA looking for you.” “I’m starting to believe that you and your weird friends are just making this EPA c**p up.” She exits the house, only to fall victim to one of Orland’s elaborate booby traps. “We anticipated this.” Lacey frowns. “So, what’s the plan?” shapeshifter Corinne Morris/Twist asks once the two teams have assembled in front of the Taconic Mountains. “Yeah, why did you call us here?” Astra MacKenzie/Sherman adds. The youngest of the Connecticut-based team, Sherman has the power to bring her drawings to life. “We’ve seen you and the rest of the team take on armies before,” Connecticut team leader Tine Multmoff/Valiant points out. She uses saber-like stripes that come from her shoes. “Heck, we even helped you defeat armies before.” “Before, we had loads of research in our arsenal,” Promontory explains. “This time, we’re going in blind.” “We have no idea how many of them they’ve amassed inside those mountains,” Fleet adds. “Or whatever nefarious nonsense they’re planning,” the Prestidigitator continues. “‘Nefarious nonsense.’ Man, I’ve always wanted to say that.” “Can we get on with it?” Kira asks. “What’s your hurry? You go back to your cell when we’re done with this,” the Reg points out. “You brought a known convict on this mission?” Sabine Chu asks incredulously. A vampire, Sabine recently started assisting Team Valiant. “You guys need me to get through the door,” Kira reminds them. “Alright. Once we get up there, Kira will attempt to secure our safe passage,” Promontory says. “Then, we find out what they’re planning and we stop it. Fleet, it’s time.” Fleet and Sabine begin transporting people up to the alliance’s base. Once Fleet and Sabine finish with transporting the heroes, the plan begins. “Hello. I’d like to return to base,” Kira asks the guard. “You don’t look like you belong at base,” the guard argues. Kira moves her hair back to reveal her ears. “My apologies. Proceed.” Kira does so. “I’ll look for a secret window. Walk to your right,” she says over comms. She is able to find such a window, and the team comes up over it and begins to spy on the elves and fairies. “They’re Russian?” the Prestidigitator asks. “Why are the bad guys always Russian?” “D**n,” Fleet says. “Guess the EPA wasn’t far off after all.” “Anyone know Russian?” Promontory asks. “Yes!” Orland’s voice is loud in the heroes’ ears. “I knew this day would come. We’ll start with Hartford,” he translates for Chad. “The human capital is easy to topple; we’ve seen it fall to the centaurs. But first, we have to find those annoying heroes, starting with the vampire playing dress-up as a human. After we cut her like a power line, we’ll move on to the others. They call themselves Gen Z. When we’re done with them, they’ll be more like Gen U, as in you can’t see them anymore. God, it’s so emo.” “Focus, Lighthouse.” “From there, we’ll branch out to the rest of the country. Go!” “Wait! I’m afraid I can’t let you do that.” “And who are you to stop us?” This was from Maria. “You couldn’t stop the centaurs.” “This is them. We’ve been tracking them for some time now. Do you wish to proceed with the recruitment?” a henchelf asks Maria. “C**p. He means Lacey,” Fleet realizes. “Affirmative,” Maria responds. “Lighthouse, can you patch through to Defender and tell her to evacuate the asset?” “Roger, Fleet,” Orland says. “Patching through now.” “You’ll never stop us, vampire!” Chad yells, and the army begins to charge our heroes. Meanwhile, Sasha and Rowena are in the midst of evacuating Lacey when APWC members storm the house. “This is not good,” Sasha says, and engages them while the fight in the Taconic Mountains continues to rage. “Fleet, you’re our best asset. You have to go back to the OC and help Defender,” Sol says. “Copy that, Promontory,” she responds. Fleet is able to speed back to Pierce and evacuate Sasha, Rowena, and Lacey to the Summit, though not before one of the pixies bites Lacey. Lacey’s fangs extend, and she attacks them. “Lighthouse to Summit,” Orland says. “Asset is here, and has been activated.” Sasha raises a fist to fight her, but Fleet stops her. “Wait. We don’t want to fight her.” “Why not?” Rowena asks, sidestepping to avoid Lacey’s oncoming attack. “Isn’t that what we do?” Sasha says. “She’s not our enemy,” Fleet says. “The alliance is.” “What do you propose we do then?” Orland looks at her. “Do the thing.” “What thing?” “According to Dilbert,” Fleet says, “since I’m a magical creature, I have a trace amount of magic in me. Not as much as he does, but enough for a basic knockout spell.” Sasha steps to avoid another strike. “What are you waiting for? Do it.” “I don’t have much practice with this. I don’t want to hit you instead.” “That would be bad.” “Okay. Here goes. Noquea!” She successfully knocks out Lacey. “Sasha!” “What?” She speeds over to catch Lacey before she hits the ground. “You were supposed to catch her.” “How was I supposed to know that?” She then returns to Connecticut and assists in the battle. Promontory eventually gains an edge over Chad and stabs him in the chest with a stake. “Lights out.” The alliance retreats. “I suppose we’ll be on our way, then,” Valiant says. “Thanks, team,” Sherman says. “It was fun.” “We should do it again sometime,” Twist suggests. “Until we meet again,” Sabine says, and they leave to join their other team member, “guy in the chair” Matthew O’Leary in the van. “How was it?” he asks. “It was awesome,” Twist says enthusiastically. “Okay, there’s no need to bum him out,” Astra says. “I actually would want to be in the field sometime,” Matthew reveals. “We’ll talk more about that later. Sabine?” Valiant asks, and Sabine arrives to transport them back to Wesaeec. “That was intense,” Rowena says at the Summit. “Understatement of the year,” the Reg opines. “We all would’ve died if not for Addie here,” the Prestidigitator says. “Yes, I am awesome,” Fleet responds. Lacey comes to. “How did I get here?” Sasha points to Fleet. “The speedster did it.” “I can’t believe you didn’t catch her,” Rory says. “What? You were there the whole time?” “Yeah. It’s kind of common sense.” “I suppose, as a criminal,” Matilda says, “you missed that class.” Sasha is furious. “You were here too?” “Hey, Dylan, Rory told me about what you did for me in PE,” the Prestidigitator says. “I have to thank you.” “It was nothing, really,” the Reg says modestly. He then whispers to Rory, “I thought that was between us.” “I thought that he deserved to know,” Rory responds. “So, that's it, then?” Lacey says. “Until the next magical crisis,” the Prestidigitator says. “Which will probably be next week,” Orland says. “Well, I for one hope there won’t be a next time,” Promontory says. “See you around, Lacey. I like your hair.” “Thank you. Until next time, weirdos.” She leaves. “Oh, no,” the Prestidigitator says. “What’s wrong?” Promontory asks. “I forgot to throw you a birthday party.” “I got you, dude,” Fleet says. She speeds off. The team walks into a party in one of the conference rooms, complete with streamers and everything. Even Tara is there. Pixies’ “Where Is My Mind?” plays from the speakers. “Thank you.” Addie is now in her civilian attire. “No problem.” “D**n, this is much better than the party I had Brad throw,” Max says. “You tried, though,” the Prestidigitator says, “and that’s what’s important.” Orland nudges him. “Good job out there today, Max. The way you took out that elf was really impressive.” “Thank you. Was it Batman-worthy?” “Yes. It was Bat-worthy.” He notices Orland’s look. “Hey, Sol, there’s something I need to talk to you about.” “What is it, Dilbert?” she asks. “I must confess I’ve been acting weird these past couple of days,” he says. “It’s just, I lost you once, and then Max swooped in. I was afraid that that would happen again. I know it’s stupid.” “It’s not stupid. It’s called being human. Or close to it. But you don’t have to worry about that. Max is out of the picture. And you know I swooped in on him, right?” “Really? I don’t know why I’m surprised,” he then says. “I’ve seen you swoop in on criminals for three years now. Sometimes literally. I just didn’t think it would help you to be thinking about this on the battlefield.” “It helps me to know what my boyfriend’s thinking. It helps me be a better girlfriend.” She gives him a kiss. “Now, shall we get back to my party?” “Lead the way.” “I hope Addie picked a good cake.” “Thanks for coming on such short notice,” Orland says. “No problem,” Tara says. “Truth be told, I didn’t really have anything else planned.” “So,” Rory says, “we’ve had centaurs, elves, and fairies. What next, werewolves?” “You know, we actually encountered werewolves last year in Fladdermusvarg,” Orland points out. “Oh, now you have to tell us about that,” Rowena says. “Well, the vampires were the real pests that day,” he begins, and continues indistinctly. Previously on:
We open on a brown-haired boy of average build, if not slightly taller. “My name is Dilbert Silvercloud,” Dilbert says via voiceover, “and I am what you might call a nerd. I am also autistic.” Dilbert and Sol arrive at Dilbert’s home to find that three mysterious adults have entered. “I don’t know who you are,” Dilbert starts. “Oh, but we know you,” one of the men says. “Dilbert Silvercloud, 15.” “Lives at 194 Sycamore Street, Ocean City,” a second man continues. “They got Dilbert’s personal information from the Dark Web,” Promontory says. “Soon, the world will know all about Dilbert Silvercloud and his girlfriend Promontory, the vampire.” “Not if I have anything to say about it,” Jeremy Reynolds, the hero known as SpazzPanic says, and shoots his energy arcs at Anastasia. “So, what exactly is the plan here?” Addie asks the next day at school. “We have to recruit a scientist for the team,” Dilbert says. “If we come across any other gravitational phenomena or anything like that, we’ll need an expert. And who better than Travis?” The team captures recurring villain — and annoyance — Victoria Langham. “How do I know you won’t just put me in your Ravine or whatever?” she says, and Sol is shocked. “Yeah, that’s right. I know about your secret prison for metahumans.” “How about we make a deal?” Sol proposes. “You tell us who hired you, and we won’t let you rot in here.” “Deal.” They shake hands. “They call themselves Rapture.” Dilbert and the team overhear a secret meeting between humans and centaurs. “Now that we’re here, we can start.” “Start what?” he wonders aloud. “Rapture is very pleased to have you here,” an old man begins. “A war is coming, and we need you centaurs on our side.” “They had to bring this thing back for a reason. We need to figure out why, and shut it down,” Valiant explains once the two teams rendezvous. “Here at Altered Oxygen, we are committed to a fully sustainable Earth by 2030. As such, today we are proud to unveil the latest in anti-pollution technology, the Green Vacuum. The Green Vacuum will suck all the toxins out of a 5-mile radius,” Senator Mussburger declares, and is met with thunderous applause. “He doesn’t mean the toxins! That’s not scientifically possible! He means us,” Rowena Lonemace says incredulously. Addie Quick tries to get to the Vacuum, but is stopped. Rowena disappears before the heroes’ eyes. “Where did she—” Humberto cuts off as he, too, disappears, followed by Dylan, Tomás, Valiant, Corinne/Twist, Olfactory Man, and Chest Guy. Addie runs off before the others can ask her what happened. Sasha Alejo and a returned Rowena go back-to-back while fighting the centaurs. They are surprised at the implications of this. The moment doesn’t last long, though, as Sasha has to break off in order to save Matilda from one of the centaurs. She uses her sword to cut through the centaur’s left legs, sending him toppling down. Rowena watches as all the centaurs do the same thing. “That was pretty bad*ss, what you did.” “Oh, that?” Sasha says. “It’s nothing. If you had a sword, I’m sure you would’ve done the same thing.” “It was special. Mat certainly thought so.” “Yeah, I think she has a girl crush on me now.” Rowena chuckles. “But seriously, I know I couldn’t have done that.” “But you’re a shifter. That’s so much cooler than a chick with a sword.” “Not here, it’s not. If I transformed, one of those things would’ve yeeted me to Rhode Island faster than Max’s bat.” “Well, I for one am glad you’re here, again, with me.” “Me too.” The blonde leans in for a kiss, but Rowena backs away. “That was stupid. I don’t know why I did that.” She walks off. “I saw you on TV,” Cassie says to Dylan at school the following week. “Yeah, I was pretty great, wasn’t I?” he says by way of response. “What do you say we have lunch together sometime?” “I’d like that.” “You’re really leaving?” Orland asks Travis. “Yeah,” Travis Allen says. “I just don’t feel like this is the right fit for me.” “Whew, that was quite a rush last week,” Dylan Cassidy, the hero known as the Reg, says at the Summit. A geokinetic, the sophomore Dylan is still getting used to all the ups and downs of superherodom. “Why? Did you suddenly join track?” the team’s British scientist, Rory Ashman, asks. “No, you dope. The whole thing with Cassie and Ruckus gave me a rush,” Dylan corrects him. “Now, Dylan, that is not how we treat our resident scientist,” team leader Solara “Sol” Boilweed, aka Promontory, reminds him. “Yeah, our scientists have historically had a very low breaking point,” teen wizard Dilbert Silvercloud, aka the Prestidigitator, points out. “Yeah, after the whole T+1 thing last year, Travis just left,” speedster Addison “Addie” Quick/Fleet explains. “He didn’t come back? Not even for the Climacteric? Wow, seems like this dude wasn’t a good fit for us,” tech support Orland Crysanthe, aka Lighthouse, opines. “Sitting right here,” Travis Allen yells from across the room. Travis was Team Promontory’s first resident scientist. It didn’t work out well; he didn’t even last two weeks. “He wasn’t the only one,” Dylan says, ignoring Travis. “Rory did the same thing.” “Dylan, that’s not fair,” Addie says. “Wait. Rory?” “Yes. Rory has done much better work for us, except when we have an actual villain problem. Where are you then?” “What is it, Put Rory On the Spot Day? I freaked when my best friend, Ariana, literally disappeared off the face of the Earth. It’s a perfectly natural response,” Rory defends himself. “Yeah, perfectly natural,” enhanced human Sasha Alejo, also known as Defender, says, “for a coward.” “Whoa! We do not use the C-word around here,” Sol shouts. “You’re yelling,” Dilbert says. “C-word,” the blonde mumbles. “You’re a C-word.” “What was that?” Sol asks her. “Nothing.” Sol raises her arm. “If I could have your attention, please.” “I still can’t believe your arm is already healed,” Sasha grouses. “Stupid vampire healing factor.” “Dilbert has an announcement to make. Listen up.” “Thank you. There’s a girl at school whom I think could be at the center of a multi-species plot. Her name is Lacey Solstice, and she has pink hair and oddly sharp canines,” Dilbert announces. “Speak up,” Dylan says. “I can’t hear you over your drumming.” “Ignore him,” Addie says. “He apparently woke up this morning and decided to be a jerk.” Dilbert notices that there’s something behind that statement. “What do you mean, multi-species?” Rory pipes up. “I mean, like an elf-pixie alliance to retake the magical throne that has just been vacated by the centaurs,” Dilbert clarifies. “Do we need to call the Centaur Corps?” Orland asks. “That’s what I’m calling everyone.” “Meh, I think it needs work,” Sasha opines. “You think all my names need work.” “True.” “It’s not your best,” Addie agrees. “It makes it sound like we’re the centaurs,” Sol says. “I’ll keep working on it,” he promises. “In the meantime, everyone keep an eye out for Lacey. She might not even know that she is a product of the alliance. We don’t know what devices they have at their disposal,” Dilbert concludes. “What, like brainwashing?” Dylan asks. “No, like blow dryers. Yes, brainwashing,” Dilbert jokes. “Not again,” Matilda groans. “Where did Ariana go, anyway? She hasn’t texted me in two weeks,” Rory asks. “She and Bellona went off on their own,” Addie says. “Bell’s mom got a new job, and she said that she could use some help.” “I just wish that this would happen on any other week,” Dilbert says. “Why?” Sol says. “Your birthday. I’ve been so busy with school, I haven’t had time to plan anything.” “You don’t have to throw a big party.” “Yes, I do. As your boyfriend, it’s my duty to upstage Brad's party from last year. Plus, then I can lord it over him in class.” “Let’s focus on finding this Solstice girl first. That’s a bad*ss name, by the way.” “It is. But it doesn’t hold a candle to Promontory.” At school the next day, Dilbert is the first to encounter Lacey. He is very direct, as usual. “Lacey, you may be in danger. You need to come with us.” “No, I don’t think I do. How do you know my name, weirdo? How do I know I can trust you?” Lacey asks. “All valid points, which I will go into on the way. Come on,” he urges. “Another day, dude. I’m not feeling like I want to be taken to some strange house by some guy who touches himself in weird places.” She leaves at a brisk pace. Dilbert tries to catch up to her, but stops, knowing that he would risk being late to his English class if he followed her any further. “You did what?” Addie asks him at the Summit that evening. “Have you learned nothing from us? Women like subtlety from guys. If you’re too direct, you’ll just piss us off,” Sasha tells him. “Dilbert only has one way of doing things,” Sol says. “It’s part of his charm.” “Aw, thank you,” Dilbert says. The two share a kiss. “Gross,” Sasha groans. “Groan on your own time. Okay, who wants to try and convince her next? I’m open to bright ideas.” “I’ll do it,” Addie volunteers. “We have science together, and I am known for my persuasive skills.” “Yeah, you are,” Dylan avers her. “No, not like that,” Addie clarifies. “What is wrong with you lately?” She leaves in a huff. “Hey, Dilbert, why can’t you just try again with all your knowledge from today?” Orland asks him. “I have a test tomorrow, and I need all the time I can get,” he informs him. “Like extra time?” “Yes, like extra time.” Dilbert is able to get the extra time; unfortunately, others are also in the classroom for other reasons. One of them asks him about why he needed space from everyone else during the work period. “I was taking a test,” Dilbert says. “Why? Mr. Mortensen never lets people take tests outside of class — except,” the questioner, Quiana Ross, starts to piece together. “What I’m about to tell you,” Dilbert begins, “you can’t tell anyone.” “Got it. I’m good at secrets,” Quiana assures him. “Okay. Here goes. I’m autistic,” Dilbert reveals. “So, you learn differently? That's it? You could’ve just said that,” she tells him. “But then you would’ve asked more questions,” he opines. “Yeah, you’re right,” she concedes. “You promise you won’t tell anyone about this?” he double-checks. “My lips are sealed,” she assures him. Exiting the classroom, Dilbert catches up with Addie. “Were you able to convince Lacey?” “I was,” she replies. “How?” “By appealing to her common sense instead of scaring her. All women have it, you know. All mortal women, that is.” He notices her leaving. “Hey, I wanted to talk to you about something.” “I have a class—” “It’s about Dylan.” “What about him?” “You’ve been acting weird around him for days. Did he … do something?” Addie is once again taken aback. “What? No. Well, not exactly.” “What does that mean? You’re confusing me.” “I had a dream. Dylan was mad at me about the Climacteric. He said it was all my fault. He hit me.” “I’m so sorry, Addie.” “What do you think it means?” “I think it’s fairly obvious. This dream is a manifestation of your guilt.” “Can’t you make it go away? With magic?” “My magic doesn’t work on feelings. You have to talk to him.” “I was afraid you’d say that,” she says without humor. “Dylan’s a good person. He’ll understand.” “You told someone?” Sol asks incredulously at the Summit that evening. “It’s okay. We can trust Quiana,” Dilbert adds. “Quiana. That’s an untrustworthy name. I bet she has some tricks up her sleeve at this very moment,” Orland surmises. “Nope. No tricks. And I would know.” “Told someone about what?” Sasha asks. “And why the hell is Quiana an untrustworthy name?” “I don’t like Q’s,” Orland says. “If we were meant to trust them, more words would have them.” “In other news, I got Lacey to hide out until we figure out where the alliance is,” Addie speaks up. “Yeah, let’s focus on that instead of this annoying treacle,” Sasha suggests. “This is my life, you know. And how the heck do you know the word treacle?” Dilbert asks. “What, is there only one person who can have a good vocabulary on this team?” Sasha ripostes. “All we have to do now is triangulate the location of the alliance,” Orland summarizes. “So, two people,” Sasha clarifies. “So, do it to it,” Matilda suggests. “We aren’t here all day.” “Actually, we could be. During the Climacteric, some of us slept here,” Dilbert reminds her. “Well, I got things to do. So gimme something or I walk.” “I got it! They are hiding out near the base of Progressive Peak,” Orland says. “Really? All the way in Virginia?” Addie asks. “Road trip!” Dylan shouts. “But I don’t want to,” Sasha whines. “Doesn’t matter. I called road trip. You should know that by now.” She groans. After Orland clears their absences with the OCHS secretarial staff under the guise of “independent study,” Team Tory proceeds to Virginia. Once there, they have to decide how the rest of the team will ascend the mountain, as not everyone is a skilled climber like Sol, and Addie was unable to participate due to extenuating personal circumstances. “We didn’t bring Grandpa Henry,” Dylan points out. Dilbert glares at him. “Grandpa doesn’t do mountain trips anyway,” he says. “Guess y’all will just have to learn,” Sol concludes. “This is gonna be fun,” Sasha lies. “‘This is gonna be fun,’” Sol repeats mockingly. “Of course it’s gonna be fun.” Once they get up there, Rory is able to find a structural weakness in the allied base and cause it to crumble into the mountain. Addie arrives during this time. “Dylan.” Dylan is just as curt. “Addie.” “That’s new,” Rory notes. “Usually, things crumble down, not into other things. I will take note of this.” “Oh, God, we have another Dilbert,” Sasha groans. “Speaking of Dilbert, people are gonna expose him. We have to get back to the OC, stat,” Sol yells. “Addie, do your thing.” “Gladly,” Addie says, and begins speeding the team members back to Ocean City. “You don’t have to do this,” Quiana is telling the instigator, Mark Marigold. “Yes, I do. He’s not like us, and he expects to get off scot-free,” Mark says angrily. “That’s very low of you, attacking him when he’s not here.” “When who’s not here?” Quiana turns around to see Dilbert. “You’re here, good. Prepare to witness your downfall. Soon the entire world will know that Dilbert Silvercloud is autistic,” Mark rages. Dilbert quietly whispers, “Addie, you are needed, stat,” before saying to Mark, “I will tell people on my own terms.” “Oh, so you’re just gonna keep living a lie? Isn’t that against your morals or something?” Mark asks, before Addie comes and places handcuffs on him. “Mark Marigold, you are under arrest for attempted conspiracy,” she begins, before finishing offscreen. “Thank you for having my back,” Dilbert says to Quiana. “Anytime,” she responds. “Aww, that’s sweet. Dilbert made a friend,” Dylan says. Sol punches him lightly in the elbow. “Ow.” “Man, between Anastasia and now Mark, I’m getting sick of people trying to expose me,” Dilbert opines. “Maybe you should wear sunblock,” Addie quips. That evening, telepath and shapeshifter Rowena “Row” Lonemace, aka the hero known as Tanuki, enters the Summit. “What did I miss?” “We found a pixie and caught a jerk trying to expose Dilbert,” Sol says. “I caught a stalker.” “Sounds like we were both productive.” “Yeah. Speaking of, I have a biology project I have to work on. See you, Sol.” “But you just got—” Dilbert sees Sasha come in from the other room. “Oh.” “I missed her again, didn’t I?” the blonde says. “You’ll work it out. Eventually,” Addie says. “Or not,” Dylan says. “Dylan, can I talk to you?” “Dilbert,” Sasha says as the two of them leave the room, “what did Sol mean when she said Mark was going to expose you?” “What?” Dylan says once they are in the hallway. “It’s about the Climacteric,” Addie says. “I don’t want to talk about that—” “Do you blame me?” “Of course not. We all did the best we could, but sometimes, it doesn’t go our way. That’s the job.” “But it was my responsibility to stop the Vacuum.” “No more than it was mine. And I’m sorry that I’ve been a jerk lately. My teammates in PE are dicks. Plus, this whole thing with Cassie has me on edge.” “Things aren’t going well with you guys?” “They are. But I’m still terrified I’m gonna screw up and confirm her biases that superheroes are bad people.” “You won’t. You know how I know?” Dylan shakes his head. “Because you, Dylan Cassidy, are a good person. Even if you keep beating my high score in Mario Kart.” “It’s the one time I’ll ever be faster than you. What, I’m supposed to not take advantage of that?” Addie laughs. “So, that’s why you drum on your leg?” Sasha says. “Yeah,” Dilbert says. “It’s called stimming. You don’t think I’m weird?” “We all have something that makes us different. Except Orland. He’s annoyingly normal. But no, I don’t think you’re weird. If anyone’s weird, it’s Mark Marigold. Getting off on trying to ruin people’s lives? That’s not normal.” “I just hope we didn’t ruin Lacey’s life by making her go into hiding for no reason.” “I don’t think we did. You’re not usually wrong.” “Thank you. I appreciate that.” “We need to be careful,” a mysterious person with fiery red hair and elf-like ears says to her companion in an equally mysterious room inside of a tree. “The humans know about our plans for the girl. They found our Virginia base.” “So they found the base,” the companion says, in a thick Russian accent. He has two sets of fangs in place of his maxillary canines and first premolars. “As you Americans say, so what? They don’t know about this one, Comrade Ferreira.” “I think it’s only a matter of time until they do.” Previously on:
“Who’s Tara?” Max asks. “They’re the one I’d get a scar for,” Orland says. “Can I meet them?” “I don’t know. I prefer to keep my hero life away from my personal life.” “Separation of church and state. I like it.” At the Summit, Team Tory is struggling to adjust to their new worldview that they have gained after the Climacteric. “So, it’s all over, right?” Dylan asks. “What?” Sasha says. “Your social life?” “No. Everything.” He gestures vaguely. “With the centaurs. Are we finally back to normal? Or whatever passes for normal around here.” “No,” Dilbert is quick to respond. “Rapture is still out there.” “Those dopes?” Sasha asks. “I thought they left with the centaurs.” “And you thought that because ...?” Rory chides her. “We never have to deal with residual villains.” “It’s true,” Orland says. “Our adventures are usually one-and-done.” “Elena Trujillo came back,” Addie points out. “That’s a fair point.” “Anita came back, too,” Matilda says. “Not to mention Kir—” “Okay, you can stop now.” “The point is,” Sol says, “we might not be so lucky this time. So be vigilant.” “I’m always vigilant,” Dylan says. “See?” He starts slicing the air to practice his fighting skills, but ends up hitting Sasha instead. Sasha hisses at him, revealing her fangs. “Oh, my fangs are back. Awesome.” She bares them once more for effect. Dylan recoils. “You have to talk to her, you know,” Sol says to Rowena at school the next day. “No, I don’t,” Rowena says. “I can move. Actually, with any luck, she’ll move.” “You messed up the group dynamic,” Addie says. “Without you to balance her out, Sasha’s just mean.” “I messed it up? She tried to kiss me.” “And instead of talking to her about it,” Sol says, “you’ve been avoiding her. Slinking around like a ta— like a tan—” “Tanuki.” “Yep. That.” “If you can’t talk about your problems,” Matilda says, “sometimes it helps to sing about them. Heliotrope’s having a karaoke night on Friday. We could use you.” “Wait,” Addie says. “You’re working at Heliotrope now?” “Oh, yeah. I guess I forgot to tell you. They were short-staffed after the Climacteric, and I applied.” “Don’t screw this one up for us,” Rowena says. “I don’t want to move restaurants again. I was just getting used to the lemonade at Heliotrope.” “Ignore her.” “So, what do you think, Row?” Matilda says. “Will you give it a shot? Your best shot, perhaps?” “Oh, no,” Rowena says, “I don’t sing.” “I’m in,” Sol says. “Excellent,” Matilda says. “Row, if you change your mind, you know where to find me.” Dylan sees Dilbert’s former Econ classmate Ruckus’ sister, Cassie, when they enter the school at roughly the same time. He approaches her and tries to strike up a conversation. “So, doing some history, huh? Modern World? I can tell you all about the modern world.” Ruckus sees him, and crosses the room into the cafeteria in order to confront him. “I can tell you all about my sister,” Ruckus states loudly, “namely, that she is off limits.” “I wasn’t trying to ask her out,” Dylan lies. “We were just having a conversation.” “He was having a conversation,” Cassie says. “I hadn’t chimed in yet.” Dylan likes her already. “Well, in my experience, anyone who wants to ‘have a conversation’ with my sister, they usually want something more,” Ruckus continues. “Well, you don’t have to worry about that with me,” Dylan says. “Fine. But if I see anything that looks like you mistreating my sister, I’m coming for you, Dilbert’s friend.” “Dylan! It’s Dylan!” he shouts to Ruckus’ retreating back. “I was lying. I totally want to go out with you,” he reveals to Cassie. “I caught that,” she remarks drily. “So, what do you say?” “Let me think about it.” “You let me know.” He walks away casually. At the Summit that evening, Dylan explains his predicament. “And that’s my plan.” “Didn’t you have a crush on that hybrid girl?” Addie asks. “Aubrey?” He pauses. “It’s been a year. She’s stopped answering my texts. She obviously must have moved on, so why shouldn’t I?” “Just don’t let him see you,” Sasha says. “Who?” “Ruckus, dumba**. If he’s like that today, how do you think he’d react if he saw you kissing Cassie?” “Oh, so now you want to talk about kissing,” Addie says. “That’s not the same thing, and you know it.” “Just talk to her. This tension isn’t good for either of you, or the team.” “She doesn’t want to talk.” “One of you has to initiate it.” “It should be her. She backed away. Like you should, Dylan, before this gets more complicated.” “You know me. I’m not that subtle,” Dylan says. “But that doesn’t mean I can’t try. All right, team. Good job.” He leaves. “Team? I did all the work!” Dilbert notices Dylan leaving. “Where is he going?” “Who cares,” Sol says. “You know what today is?” Dilbert is confused. “The 24th?” “Normal. The school wasn’t destroyed, I had girl talk, Dylan’s shirking his responsibilities. It’s a normal day.” “And we have a normal mission,” Addie says. “Yes,” Dilbert says. “To find the last of the Rapture agents.” “Hey, where’s Orland?” Sasha asks. “Isn’t he supposed to be QB-ing us?” “He’s having dinner with his grandparents, he told me. He was really nervous about them meeting Tara after the whole Natalie thing.” “Well,” Sol says, “Rory, looks like you’re on deck.” “Happy to be of service, love,” Rory says. “I don’t see any Rap—” The Prestidigitator is interrupted when they are ambushed by Rapture agents led by the one they saw in Greenwood, who knock him down and knock Fleet unconscious. Promontory tries to fight them, but finds that she isn’t used to fighting without her speed. She allows one of the agents to get the drop on her and break her arm. “Okay, that’s not normal. Ow.” “There’s too many of them,” Defender says. “We need exfil.” The vampire gives her a look. No duh. She presses her Tory Watch with her one good arm. Orland, his grandparents, and Tara are at a nice restaurant. “I can’t believe you don’t know Jackie Gleason,” his grandfather is saying. “I’m sorry, sir,” Tara says. “I never heard of him.” “Impossible. The Jackie Gleason Show was appointment viewing in our household. Every Saturday night at 8, between Beat the Clock and Jane Froman’s U.S.A. Canteen.” “All I’m hearing is old,” Orland says. “O, be nice,” Tara says. “Weren’t you taught to respect your elders?” “I like this one,” Orland’s grandmother says. They tap Orland’s shoulder. “Hey, your watch is going off.” “So it is.” He looks at Promontory’s message. Need immediate exfil. Code scarlet. “Code scarlet? What does that mean?” “It means we have to go now.” “Now?” his grandfather says. “What about the check?” “Leave your card. We’ll pick it up later. Come on. Trust me.” “Thanks for coming so quickly,” Promontory says as she and Defender put Fleet’s unconscious form in the backseat of the Toryvan. “I’m the guy with the van,” Orland says. “It’s what I do. What happened out there?” “We got our f***ing a**es handed to us, that’s what happened,” Defender says. “I’m sorry about my friends,” Orland says to his grandparents. “They’re not usually this profane. Well—” He doesn’t finish that thought. “Whoa,” Tara says. “You know Promontory?” “Can we hurry this up?” the Prestidigitator asks. “Right,” Orland says. “Punch it, Grandma.” She does so. The Rapture agents are still following the team. “I think you can shake them if you get on the 7,” Orland says. “You still haven’t told me what we’re running from,” his grandmother says. As if on cue, the agents start shooting at them. “Bad guys. With guns.” “This is so exciting. I haven’t felt this alive since I drove with my brother on the island.” “Didn’t you say your brother didn’t have a license?” Orland’s grandfather points out. “You’re gonna miss your exit, Grandma,” Orland says quickly. His grandma nearly misses the lane. Well, technically, she does. She has to use the shoulder in order to navigate back to the off-ramp, but she gets on it. “See? We made it. No reason to get your panties all in a bunch. Oh, I’m sorry, Tara. Is that offensive?” “No, it’s okay, Mrs. Crysanthe,” Tara says. “What was that, Grandma?” Orland asks. “You almost killed us.” “Would you relax?” she says. “It was a senior moment. I can have one, you know.” “You mean you can have senior moments, plural,” Orland’s grandfather says. “Senior Day, more like.” “Like Senior Ditch Day,” Orland says, “without the ditch. Hopefully without the ditch.” The following day, Dylan meets Cassie again in the morning, seemingly under the cover of the latter’s friend, but the friend suddenly moves and Ruckus comes into view. “I told you not to mess with my sister,” he rumbles. Dylan maintains his ground. “I didn’t!” “I beg to differ,” Ruckus yells, and charges him. Dylan, however, easily dispatches him with a punch to the face. Cassie runs away in fear. “No, no, no, don’t leave,” Dylan pleads, but she is gone. Orland is walking with Tara. “So, you liked my grandparents, right? They liked you.” “Why didn’t you tell me that you were friends with Promontory?” Tara says. “Honestly, my life is so crazy, as you saw. I just wanted to be normal for once.” “I get that, but I also want you to feel like you can tell me things, like if you know our town’s coolest celebrity, or if your grandma did time for grand theft auto.” “I do, and I promise not to keep any more secrets. I don’t have any more, anyway.” He makes a show of counting with his hands. “I’m ace, and I’m a superhero. Yep, no more.” “You’re not denying the charges.” “To tell you the truth, I don’t know. Seatbelts are definitely a must with her.” At the Summit, Addie is surprised. “Row, you’re here.” Rowena is distraught. “Not sure why. How are we supposed to take out Rapture when we’re a man down?” “I have a plan,” Damian says. “Do tell.” “Okay, we’re gonna lure the remaining Rapture agents out using this confiscated burner phone, and then we’re gonna knock them out using Kira’s PDD.” “Power-dampening device,” Rory explains to Travis. “What makes you think that’ll work?” he asks. “I’m betting that the only people crazy enough to align themselves with the centaurs were metas,” Damian responds. “And then, we can put them in the Ravine.” “Overcrowding is a real problem these days,” Marie points out. “We don’t wanna become the system we’re trying to improve.” “I’m sure Dilbert has a plan for that,” Damian replies. “For now, let’s get them here.” He makes the call. “They’re coming,” Travis warns. “Get your stun guns ready,” Damian advises. “How do we even have those?” Marie asks. “I may or may not have stolen them from one of Kira’s Agents.” “Damian!” Rory admonishes him. “I thought they might come in handy, and guess what? I was right.” Once the splinters of Rapture arrive, the team is able to use the device to establish an upper hand, and then knock them out. “How are we going to get them all back to the Summit?” Rory asks. In response, Marie transports one of the agents back to the Ravine. “That’s how,” Damian says, pointing. “Okay,” Marie says at the Summit, “I think that’s the last of them.” “Now, I hear we have an overcrowding issue to address,” Dilbert says. “Luckily, I have a plan for that.” “See? What did I tell you?” Damian asks. “What. Did. I. Tell you?” “This guy here is the leader that we saw in Greenwood. We have something special for you.” “Oh, no,” the agent says sarcastically. “You mean you’re not gonna send me to your quasi-illegal prison with terrible security?” “No, I’m not. I’m gonna send you to another dimension, never to return.” Fear colors the agent’s features. “You— you can do that?” “I sure can, and you should’ve thought of that before you broke my girlfriend’s arm.” “Wait,” Addie says quickly. “We need to get out of the way—” “Suprimio!” Dilbert expects to transport the agent to the desert dimension, but instead he sends the two of them, as well as Addie and Rory, to a different dimension that looks quite a lot like their own. “Oh, come on,” Dilbert says, “not again.” “I don’t see any sand,” Addie says. “Yeah, I have to agree with you there.” “What does she mean by that?” the agent asks. “What’s going on?” “Magic is extremely fickle, that’s what’s going on,” Dilbert says. “Devuelvo! Oh, great.” “What language is he speaking?” “The language of magic. And right now, magic and I are at a standstill.” “Does that mean we’re stuck here?” Rory says. Addie tries to use her speed, but it doesn’t work. “I’m at a standstill, too. Literally.” “Looks like that’s a yes, Rory,” Dilbert says. “Well, the good news is that this isn’t a desert, which means that there should be civilization nearby. Start hailing cabs.” They do so, and are surprised when a series of large hamster balls rolls past them. Addie looks inside one. “Is that … a whale?” Even more surprisingly, the anthropomorphic whale speaks. “Get in. Quickly.” They get in the whale’s still-moving hamster ball. “So, where are you guys headed?” “You’re a talking whale,” Dilbert says. “I’m Greg. Nice to meet you.” Greg offers him a flipper. Dilbert takes it, stunned. “Dilbert.” “We’re not from around here,” Addie says. “I gathered as much,” Greg says. “Why didn’t you stop?” Dilbert asks. “I can’t. My car’s engine runs without the input of work. Essentially, it’s—” “A perpetual motion machine,” Rory says, awed. “It’s very useful when you’re trying to be on time for the Maroon 5 with Harry Styles concert.” “Hold on,” Addie says. “Harry Styles is the lead singer for Maroon 5?” “Yeah. He took over after the whole controversy with Levine last year. Are you guys doing anything tomorrow? Mötley Crüe is coming to town for the first time with Nikki Eight.” “Nikki … Eight?” Dilbert says. “I’m sorry,” the Rapture agent says. “Are we just going to ignore the fact that he’s a talking whale?” “You don’t get to talk.” “We need to get back to our dimension,” Addie says. “Do you have magic users in your world? Superpowers, maybe?” “Careful with that word,” Greg says. “Which one? Magic?” “Superpowers. We don’t have magic, but we do have those. My sister has a power, actually.” “I don’t suppose her power is opening dimensional portals,” Rory says. “Unfortunately not. She can amplify others’ powers.” “Do you think that works for magic users, too?” Addie says. “Only one way to find out,” Dilbert says. “Why did you tell us to be careful around powers?” “There was an incident,” Greg says. “The public opinion of superheroes has taken a turn for the worse.” “What kind of incident?” Rory asks. “A crisis.” The group enters the megalopolis, and is stunned when they see all sorts of whale-humanoids walking alongside regular humans. Greg takes them to his sister. “Much like the Red Hot Chili Peppers, I can’t stop, but this is where you get out. Safe travels.” “Thank you,” Rory says. “I whale always remember you.” “That one hasn’t gotten old.” They all stumble out of the ball in a very uncouth manner; that is, except Addie, who lands with a speedster’s grace. “Excuse me,” Dilbert says once he recomposes himself. “We were wondering if we could use your … skill really quick.” The whale-humanoid backs away slowly. “I’m sorry. I don’t know what you’re talking about.” “It’s okay,” Addie says. “We’re with Greg.” “What do you need?” “We were wondering if you could amplify my friend Dilbert’s power.” “What’s his power?” “He has a deep connection to the natural order of things. It often comes across as magic.” “I’ve never done that one before, but I can try. Dilbert, is it?” The teen wizard nods. “Take my flipper.” He does, and immediately feels his magic being amplified. “Thank you so much,” Dilbert says. “And now, for the moment of truth. Devuelvo!” Nothing happens. “Okay. I’m sure it worked. I felt it. Let me try a different spell.” “Well, that went well,” Dylan says sarcastically to the group later on at the Summit. “Now both of them hate me.” “I just wish Dilbert were here,” Sol says. “This is not the time for him to go to another dimension, not when we had just figured us out again.” “It never is,” Orland says. “The right time.” “Plus, I have a performance tomorrow. What with the winter concert being canceled because of, you know, everything, it’ll be my first time on stage since October, and I wanted my boyfriend to be there.” “Yeah, this superhero life has a tendency to eat away at everything else. That’s why I wanted to keep Tara away from it.” “I’m sorry we outed you to them.” “It’s fine. Luckily, Tara likes you. And Dilbert will be fine, too. I know it. He has come back from another dimension before, remember.” “Not to worry, guys,” Dilbert says. “We’ll get out of here. But first” — he turns to Greg’s sister — “I need you to do something else for me.” “What?” He indicates the Rapture agent. “I need you to punch him.” “Why?” “On our world, whales are endangered. He is actively opposing conservation efforts.” The whale-humanoid does as told. “Quod quaeris, te quaerit!” They successfully arrive in the Summit. “See? I told you he would come back,” Orland says. “Are you okay?” Sol asks. “Why do you look so disheveled?” “We’re fine,” Dilbert says. “Nothing we couldn’t handle.” “What did you see?” “Whales.” Travis is unimpressed. “We have those here, too, you know.” “No, I mean humanoid whales. On land and talking and everything.” “Whale, that’s unexpected,” Orland quips. “What was even more unexpected,” Rory says, “was that they had a perpetual motion machine. Loads of them, actually.” Travis now gives Rory his rapt attention. “You’re joking.” Rory shakes his head. “I wish I could just get rid of him,” Dylan says. “Oh, no,” Dilbert says. “We aren’t doing this again.” “Doing what again?” Dylan asks. “Two years ago, Orland wanted to date my cousin Celeste, but her friend Matt Moonlight was in the way. Orland briefly considered 'getting rid of' Matt, but thankfully decided not to. However, Rowena here caught onto Orland’s thoughts and executed the crime herself.” “Yep, not my finest moment,” Rowena concedes. “But I’m better now, thanks in no small part to Sol here.” “Anytime,” Sol responds. “It doesn’t matter. The damage has already been done,” Dilbert responds. “What damage? The odds of that happening are very slim,” Orland points out. “Never tell me the odds!” Dylan shouts triumphantly. Everyone glares at him. “Not the time. I get it. I read the room wrong.” Just then, a hulking figure in body armor crashes into the Summit. Once their mask is taken off, they are revealed as Ruckus, who learned a little something after the punching incident. “Ruckus? How did you know our location?” Addie asks, shocked. “I put a chip in Dylan’s phone during our little encounter, the one before you knocked me out,” Ruckus explains. “Harsh, by the way. I’m smarter than you guys give me credit for.” Sol notices Rowena leaving. “Where are you going?” “I have a thing,” the telepath says, unconvincingly. A moment later, Sasha comes in. “What did I miss?” “Ruckus just broke in,” Dilbert says. “Apparently, he’s been tracking Dylan for a long time.” “I still don’t believe it. You would have had to have been a speedster for that,” Dylan points out, “and I know you’re not, because my friend Addie here is the only one in the world.” Marie starts to say something. “Well, I wouldn’t say only,” she adds modestly. Marie nods. “That seems like a rather solipsistic view to take.” Marie raises her hands in disgust. “Sounds like someone’s been reading the dictionary,” Ruckus chides her. “Would you rather I throw it at you?” “It was a long con. I had been seeing Dylan make eyes at my sister for some time.” “But Sol’s a speedster, too,” Sasha points out. “Not anymore,” Sol corrects her. “It is curious how your speed has absented itself from the equation,” Dilbert opines. “Meh, it was bound to happen at some point,” Orland says. “Why?” Dylan asks. “You’ve been Promontory for two years now. This is about the point in a superhero movie when the hero’s powers get taken away.” “But this isn’t a movie. And I still have my other powers,” Sol points out. “Yeah. You should count yourself lucky,” Dilbert says. “Plus, if this is anything like the movies, it’s only temporary.” “I don’t feel very lucky, not with Dylan bringing his personal life into Tory Time.” “Tory Time?” Addie asks. “I regretted it the second it came out.” “So you can’t zip us to class anymore?” Dylan says. “No. Sorry.” “Which she should not have been doing anyway,” Dilbert points out. “Why does no one tell me things,” Sasha yells in despair. “Ruckus, we can trust you with all this, right?” “Scout’s honor,” comes the response. “What the phone didn’t tell me was why you’re here,” Addie says. “I have to protect my sister from Rocky Balboa here,” he says, referring to Dylan. “She can choose for herself,” Sasha chimes in. “Yeah, she ran away once I punched you out,” Dylan adds. Sasha nudges him. “Still, I’ve been burned too many times by people who say they want to ‘get to know’ Cassie, only to break her heart,” Ruckus responds. “You know what? Since you’re the famous Team Tory, I’m sure you’ll take great care of my sister.” “What do you mean, ‘the famous Team Tory’?” Sasha says. “I’m not sure you’re aware, but you have a bit of a reputation now. People are blaming you for what happened with the centaurs.” “How is that our fault?” Sol says. “We stopped them. We brought everyone back.” “You may have stopped them, but people still lost their free will for six weeks. Anyway, like I said, I trust you’ll do better with Cassie. Now our only problem is making her believe it.” “Excuse me, ‘our’?” Rory questions. “You’re helping us?” “Sure. It’ll be fun. I’ll pretend to rob a store, and you guys will stop me, proving to Cassie - and me - that you’re the good guys.” “That’s so nice of you,” Dilbert says. “No problem. I’ve always wanted to be in a superhero movie, actually, and now I can be. I should warn you, though. I do have telekinesis, and I’m not afraid to use it.” “Of course you do,” Sasha says. “All right. We’ll be tackling the famous Precision store on 5th and Marsh,” Sol says. “You know the drill. We’ll give Ruckus a five-minute head start. Suit up.” “Wait a minute,” Dilbert says. “You’re not going.” “I’m sorry?” “You have to rest. You should be at home right now, relaxing on your couch.” “Do I have to remind you whose team this is?” “It’s my team, too, and I’m just trying to help you.” “What did I say about treating me like I’m—” “Breakable? I don’t want anything happening to you out there.” “Fine. I’ll stay. But I have to do one thing before you go.” The rest of the team looks on, confused, as she runs out into the hallway. She runs back in, and jumps from the wall onto the Rapture leader, breaking his arm. “Now we’re even. You are free to go.” The team is able to stop Ruckus from committing the fake robbery. “See? Just like I planned,” he says. Sasha looks at him. “Just like we planned,” he clarifies. The next day, Sol arrives at Heliotrope, and is greeted by Ophelia. “Welcome to the club.” She indicates her arm. “Yeah, that’s one club I don’t want to be in,” Sol says. “You’re still good to perform?” Matilda asks. “Of course, Mat. I broke my arm, not my larynx.” “In our line of work, neither would surprise me.” Sol goes up to the stage, and “Rock Me Tonite” by Billy Squier begins to play. She sees Dilbert in the audience and smiles. Dylan jumps when the guitars come in. Sasha comes in, and immediately sours upon seeing Rowena’s face. “You didn’t tell me she would be here,” she says to Addie. “She wants to talk,” Addie says. “This will go on forever unless one of you makes the first move.” “Fine.” Sasha goes to talk to her, but Rowena receives a phone call, and leaves. “I saw you on TV,” Cassie says to Dylan at school the following week. “Yeah, I was pretty great, wasn’t I?” he says by way of response. “What do you say we have lunch together sometime?” “I’d like that.” |
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